ClydeStyle

Healing broken relationships and building better lives – ClydeStyle.

Spread real love

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The abstract has much more depth than the concrete. Yet the only reason that we covet the concrete is because we can see it.

What we see will be destroyed. So why do we covet what we see? We even take beautiful abstract concepts and ruin them by making their focus on the object of the abstract. Let me make this simpler: Some people will love a person and make the thrust or emphasis of their love on the person, instead of the concept of love. So then when the relationship ends or the person being loved does not measure up to the expectations of the one loving, the relationship ends and the person loving says I’m not going to love anymore. Or say two people are madly in love and one dies. The one still alive chooses not to get involved in a love relationship anymore because it’s too painful.

You see, love is not the source of the pain or anger in either case. Failed expectations and grief respectively are the culprits in those cases, but love was blamed. Love never changed in either case. Love can still be developed and should still be resolute. It should be locked and loaded for the next episode. Not tossed aside like a smoking gun that killed the relationship.

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So what if we kept this in perspective. Love is for the mature anyway. Most teens and young adults are not mature enough to even use the word properly let alone be in what they would describe as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

We should keep love pure. It was never meant to be conditional. It was never meant for profit and it should never be associated with negative acts. Love is an everlasting stream of God in you. It will never do you any harm and will save you from a lot of hurt. So love freely, love often and love everybody unconditionally — it’s the God in you!

Life was meant to be led

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So God gave us all one life and that was for the purpose of us growing and developing into a state where we would function in our right minds, and make decisions for our well being.

There are so many things in this world to get us off this task. This world is all about influence and control. We fight each day to keep our righteous minds.

Look at your life and the forces around you. Your home life, your job, your friends, the products you buy, the services that you use, everywhere you turn someone is trying to get you to do something. Buy this thing, support that cause, help him out — there is no end.

From the time you wake up and even in your sleep, life is getting away from you. The status quo says eat, drink, buy, spend, take, push, struggle, force, aggression, die trying and too late. These words belong to the world and they are used far too often.

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So you my friend must take control. We don’t often consider it but for many the word sale means you need to buy. Did you need the item? It doesn’t matter because it’s on sale.

For some, hearing the words happy hour means it’s time to drink. Why, are you thirsty? No, it’s happy hour.

Look at the control these simple words have on us. Our words have the same effect as controlled substances — and we are hooked.

So how is this fixed? We must take control of our own lives. Life was meant to be led. You have to get out in front of yours and lead it. Guide it. Control it. Treat it as precious as it is. Critical thinking is paramount to your success.

In the words of the late great rapper Heavy D, “In this life I strive for improvement. Be your own guide, follow your own movement.”

Make no mistake: this isn’t about surviving, it’s all about flourishing.

The importance of my well being

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I understand psychologically that I can not see myself, all I see is a reflection. All of these images I see of myself need help from the people that actually see me. Therefore it is the images I see in conjunction with what is said that allows me to come close to seeing my actual self.

With this in mind, the people who I surround myself with become extremely important. I need for the people I allow in my inner circle to be beneficial to me. I want them to feel that I am beneficial to them, but they have to be able to add value to my life.

If we spend the majority of a 24 hour day sleeping, working, eating and traveling, then that means there is not much time left to make a positive impact.

This means coming home has to be in question. Is my house for me or against me? Am I really replenished while being at home or is my household just adding to my stress?

Is the time I spend traveling during the day beneficial? The type of music I listen to, the people I talk to on the phone and even the ride to work now matter in regard to my well being.

Sleep is one of the most important things you can give to your body. Am I getting enough uninterrupted sleep?

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I also need to be concerned about the things I eat and drink. This has a huge effect on my wellness. I need to seek whole food without man-made additives. It’s hard to do in the US but not impossible.

This message is about how we handle this gift called life and the body God put it in. If you understand that the life you have is only because of Christ, then how are you treating this beautiful gift he gave you?

Tribute to my mom

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One of my favorite songs we sang growing up in church was Home of the Soul. I never really understood this song beyond the melody which I liked.

But as I got older I started listening to the words and discovered this is a song describing the place that Jesus is preparing for us. I eventually matured to be able to put scriptural application with this song and in addition to seeing the place Jesus is preparing for me in the future, I saw another place. This place was prepared for my living in the past.

My mother, Annie Mayberry, is like no other. Pound for pound she’s the best mom you could have. (I know I’m bias but bare with me)

Looking back at what we had back in the day, I realize how hard it was to make that happen. We were not rich, but we lived in an extremely clean home that was comfortable and had nice stuff.

I looked forward to coming home from a hard day at school, hard time at basketball practice, frustrating day with friends and the reason I loved coming home was because it was prepared for me.

My mom in anticipation of us coming home made sure things were right. There was always more than enough food. All of my needs (and some wants) were taken care of and she did this despite how she felt on any given day.

My mom never wanted anyone to look down on us. She never wanted anyone to think we were not cared for and she never wanted us to feel cheated in life. She gave us a respect for the arts — from paintings to great music — she kept beautiful things around us.

She took our senses and used them to her advantage. We were surrounded by beauty, grew up on incredibly delicious soul food, clean clothes, warm bed and toys — what else could a child want.

But the greatest thing my mom gave me and my siblings was her love. Her love truly covered a multitude of sins — ours and hers. There was no doubt that she was in our corner and would not hesitate to whip our a$$ or kick somebody else’s a$$ in a New York minute.

So today I give honor to my first love. A woman who I admire and appreciate greatly! Thanks for everything Annie! Love you much!

Give God’s word free range

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The apostle Paul in his second letter encouraged the Thessalonians in chapter 3 to allow the Word of God to have free course or free range and to be glorified.

Sounds easy enough except that most folks today have a hard time understanding this. To allow God’s word to have free range is to allow it all over your life — even in the areas you are not willing to surrender.

We would rather apply God’s word out of convenience — for example if I don’t struggle with lying or cheating then I’m quick to learn those scriptures and tell my brother that he should stop these things according to God’s word.

The issues we struggle with we try to hide them from God’s word. We know his word is always applicable but the problem is not in application.

I liken this to the way we raise chickens in America. There was a time when chickens were naturally raise on a farm and they had room to run around and get strong naturally. They had “free range” of motion and less fat. They were happy and ate well. They were clean and free from chemicals. From egg to adult it would take 90 days.

Today, science has cut this process in half — 45 days and the chicken’s breast — because America loves white meat — would grow three times the normal size. Their little legs could not hold the excess weight and their legs would break. Sadly, chickens today are kept in darkness not allowed to move around and they sit in their own feces. They are fed steroids and on day 45, they are snatched out of darkness and taken to slaughter. Then this steroid – filled fatty meat is cooked and put out to eat. We see the results really well in our children: Seven year olds look 13 and 13 year olds look 21.

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Chicken is much more deadly when not allowed to move and live and so is the word of God. You see, when we hide truth from ourselves, we end up establishing our own righteousness instead of yielding to the righteousness of God. Now the word which was designed to bring life, we cause certain death.

Dear friend are you allowing the word of Christ to dwell in you richly? Does the word have free course in your life or are you just applying it’s blessings and not heeding the call of its warnings?

Take the whole counsel my friend.

Why God should be the only judge

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One of the greatest historical education summits is being held across our country, everytime a black man is murdered while being arrested.

From New York to South Carolina to Florida, Michigan, Missouri and Maryland, we see public opinion very prominent and it reveals the heart of America — we are still bias, prejudice and racist. This current generation will not wait for the previous two generations’ learning curve on this issue. Now what we see from them is anger: uncut, uncensored, destructive and painful.

It seems that those who know, won’t tell and those who have no clue keep talking. Bitter wounds of our racial past are re-opened with every killing and every judgment. The flesh won’t allow us to be fair.

Our superficial judgment seat needs to be torn down in favor of a new seat of love and forgiveness. That seat is nestled between the grace and mercy seats of God.

If our society could simply remember and respect what God has said on judgment, it would change the game for us. Jesus said in his sermon on the mount that the measure we use to judge each other, will be the measure he would use. Lord help us.

Can you hear me now?

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I always thought I was a bit hard of hearing. Growing up my mom would call me two and three times before I would answer.

I think I even invited the word “huh?” because I said it so much. As I got older I saw how selective my hearing had gotten. I would hear everything that had a direct benefit on my life. My mother only had to call once to let me know dinner was on the table, but twice or thrice to help with dishes.

I learned that my heart was connected to my hearing — meaning that if I liked you, I would hear every word. If I didn’t like you well that’s the time I discovered the volume control — I could tune you out in a New York minute.

As I got older and in control of my own life, this listening thing got worse. I decided who I would listen to, how long I would listen and how much I would accept. And I didn’t just do that to the people in my life, I did that to God.

So when his word was in my favor I heard it loud and clear. The few times I was in the right, I could hear his word like I wrote it. When I was wrong, I convinced myself that his word was misapplied.
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So today I take off those filters that led to my inner deception. I denounce earwax, a hard heart and self all together. I am now ready to receive the engrafted word which is able to save my soul.

Dear friend, how about you?

Another letter to God

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Dear God,

It now makes sense to me why people don’t like to examine themselves: Our image is broken!

I feel bad sometimes when I realize that I live in a country that treats animals (primarily dogs and cats) better than poor people. I live in a country that does not forgive or forget.

I live in a country that is racist, bias and hypocritical. And I am sadly a part of this country. I represent those who point fingers both ways. I represent those who realize that they are the things they hate.

Father, l need you to search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Teach me a better way Lord that I might let your light shine through me.

I am not worthy of your light. I am not fit for your use. I need you, Father, to cleanse me enough to say amen. Give me your words that I may never thirst.

Heal my heart. Make me an instrument of righteousness that I may serve you with gladness. Help me not judge those who are not where I am. And please let me not covet those in the place where I want to be.

Forgive me O God for I have sinned. Make me invisible so that those who see my good only see you and not me. Save all of my credit for heaven father. Don’t allow people to ever praise me here.
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Thank you father for my gifts and I vow to do your name good with them.

Heal the hurt I have caused and turn my negative to positive. In the name of the one who chose the cross for me!

Amen.

Gratitude (Part 2)

Letter to God

To my Father in heaven,

It is with love and gratitude that I write this blog in dedication of your devotion to me. You have gone far above the call of duty in being my God. I am in awe of you.

I make horrible decisions at times. Some of my infractions are purposed and I still struggle with negotiating right and wrong. There are people who I have such an issue with that they consume my thoughts. There are people I need to forgive.

And in spite of my stupidity you do amazing things in my life. You make me want to be a better person. You make me want to seek after the higher parts of me. I want to do the right thing, Father, but I am weak.

What I really want to say to you Father is thank you. Thank you for loving me when I didn’t want to love myself. Thank you for showing me the way to the light when I was lost in darkness. Thank you for forgiving me when I am weak. Father, thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for saving my soul and for being long suffering with me.

Thank you for another day to praise your name. Thank you that I’m healthy and in my right mind. Thank you most of all for Jesus who made me a partaker of his cleansing power.

I actually don’t want to ask you for anything. I just wanted to express my love for you and say thanks.

Sincerely your servant,

Clyde

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