Posted in Forgiveness, Health, Mind Power, Taking Responsibility, Truth, Uncategorized

Being mentally aware of mental poverty

When we think of poverty it normally is in the context of finance and we consider people who have no wealth as poor. But poverty comes in many forms and this blog will touch on one of them: Mental poverty.

This means simply that your thinking is not right. Your thinking violates social norms that make your actions stick out like a sore thumb.

Do you know somebody who just seems to look at situations different than most? I don’t mean different in a good way, I mean you hear some of the things they say and you hope no one else hears it.

With this type of thinking it makes it difficult to recognize fairness, justice, compromise or forgiveness. There seems to be a disconnect with logic and understanding. At first glance people would say the person must be crazy. But in a larger sense this thinking is more common than you think.

In many cases it is the result of wounds that have not healed and the pain is so traumatic with the individual that revenge is the only word they can think about with clarity.

You see, when you have been wronged repeatedly with no resolve your mental faculties become impaired. Your thinking gets stuck on resolutions. With every future situation that requires thinking, the individual struggles with negotiating righteousness.

Please understand that this is not an excuse. It is just what is. The solution is so easy that we overthink and never get over some of our mental anguish.

The solution is to forgive what has happened to you. Forbear your perpetrators and deal with them going forward with the lessons you have learned from dealing with them in the past.

Considering that the Lord above has laid claim to revenge anyway, your best move is to heal yourself.

Now that you are aware, you know that arguing with a person who struggles with mental health issues will always struggle with logic so when you get into a shouting match with this person, what is your endgame?

When you continue to repeat the same argument over and over again, how do you think it looks to the sane?

Awareness of mental challenges is half our battle. Now you just need to not engage.

Posted in Accepted, Confidence, Determination, Forgiveness, Happiness, Mind Power, Perseverance, Progress, Relationships, Self, Success, Taking Responsibility

The psychology of disappointment

So you had an expectation of something — that’s how it starts. Then you feel that you deserve that expectations fulfillment. Excitement follows. Expectation grows and an adrenaline rush ensues.

Then suddenly something unexpected, uncontrollable or undeserving happens and all you were left with is disappointment.

Disappointment is hard to swallow. It doesn’t go down easy. It causes heartaches.

Chasing disappointment is anger. Anger allows the feeling of disappointment to linger. The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment. You can experience periods of sadness, depression and resentment.

It’s as if disappointment laughs at you. It calls out to you saying, “who told you to have expectations?” Disappointment burns.

To protect ourselves we need to stop having expectations for anyone but ourselves. The likelihood of you letting down yourself should be less.

Do yourself a favor and don’t desire something to a level that leads to greater expectation and possible disappointment. Your emotional orientation takes a hard hit everytime you do.

Posted in Uncategorized

Frustration road again?!?

There are three problems with being frustrated.

First, there is a problem with how you landed on frustration. You worked up to what you thought was something better only to find out that it was worse. Great planning (so you thought), everyone was on board and then almost like magic, the bottom falls out. Or your situation may have been as simple as you needed someone to understand what you were saying and everything you said was interpreted wrong.

However you got there, it seemed sudden. There was not an exit sign that said “frustration this exit”. If so we would not have taken the exit. Frustration just appears. You were driving to happy land and turned right onto frustration way.

Screaming doesn’t help. Cursing does nothing. You just got to unpack your sh#t and stay a while.

The second problem is that the people around you don’t help. They see you are frustrated and they try to avoid you like the plague. When you are frustrated and need help, it’s like being stranded and everyone that claims to love you is not answering their cell. The worst feeling ever is to have frustration without friends — it sucks!

Then finally the third thing is the analysis of why you got frustrated. How did you end up here again? Why do you keep making multiple trips to this place? And then there is all the stuff you need to apologize for because you didn’t go to frustration-ville quietly– you were kicking, screaming and cursing all the way. Then there is the judgment of the witnesses who are so freakin shocked that you lost it! Then there are the churchy people who want to tell you that you shouldn’t have done what you did. Then there is the optimist who wants you to know that they believe in you and finally, your enemy is in the corner laughing his butt off.

Those are the three problems and short of blowing everyone up, we take it and move on to try another day. And you still have to replace the things you broke!

Posted in Accountability, Achievement, Change, Confidence, Determination, Fear, freedom, Happiness, Life, Love, Perseverance, Progress, Self, significance, Taking Responsibility, Uncategorized

How hungry are you?

When we think of hunger, we think in terms of the absence of food. But being hungry can actually represent any phase of your life where you are trying to advance.

You can be hungry for success, hungry for wealth, hungry for relationships or hungry for the sake of hunger. It is interesting the factors that decide whether we stay hungry or not. Fighters who are successful and have gotten comfortable with the title, often fight against success.

Let me be clear: On the way to the title, a fighter would eat, drink and sleep that title. They would dream of what it would be like to taste victory. But once obtained a fighter needs to work harder at keeping that title because there is normally 9 or 10 other contenders who have never tasted the title and that becomes their fuel.

In business as you climb the corporate ladder there are colleagues coming behind you that want your spot. You just got it and they are hungry for it. There is always someone coveting your position.

But I really want to focus on what makes us stop. What are the things that make us not reach the goal? You see, success can do that to you, but failure can too. When you have failed 9, 19, 29, 39 times, it’s hard to make that additional attempt because too much of your past says you can’t do it.

Further, we can actually be our own worst enemy with this. We get worried and start to doubt our own ability. Then the voice inside of you that is supposed to be “for” you ends up saying and causing the worst damage. You will hear yourself say, “you are out of your league.” “You can’t do that!” “Who do you think you are?”

Sadly, we don’t need folks from the outside to “stick it to us”, we do it ourselves. What goals have you abandoned because you just were not hungry enough? What are you missing out on right now because you did not follow through or you just gave up? What areas of your life are not fulfilled because you didn’t fulfill it?

It is never too late. You need to empty yourself of the impurities that are making it difficult for you to eat and regain your hunger! You started the journey and your destination is not as far as you think. You owe it to yourself to get there. You can do it!

Posted in Uncategorized

The specialty of fatherhood

Father’s Day had to be started with the greatest intentions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating the person who donates the sperm especially since we celebrate the person with the eggs.

But beyond the conception part of these holidays which is what makes us worthy I guess, the principle behind it seems to be getting lost. What I mean is there was a time when having a baby meant that if I didn’t quite have myself together at the time of conception, I had 9 months to get there before the baby came.

So the coming of a baby actually had the power to make people stop drinking, smoking, doing drugs, swearing and fighting. Men straightened out themselves and got good jobs, went back to school, learned a trade and even joined the military. The point was that you never wanted your children to think or feel like they were born into the loser family!

We used to tell our kids about their heritage and what our last name really meant whether we were a family of hard working men, math wizards, great cooks, business people or we simply had style.

Today, we can’t seem to get the child’s birth certificate right! You see, today is far more common to be born to parents who are not married. And if your mother was angry with your dad, you might not have his last name. Some father’s were not working before the child was conceived and by the time the baby is being walked to kindergarten by dad, he still ain’t working! Some kids fathers are behind bars, some are drug dealers or users and still some are thieves and the joyous occasion of the new bundle made no difference.

Societal status does not escape the scenario because history may give one account and the family would try to spin it differently. For example, how does Richard Nixon’s grand kids feel about his life and what he did as president? What will Donald Trump’s great grandkids think? What about Kwame Kilpatrick’s grandkids or Michael Vick’s? How about Bill Cosby’s great grands or Bruce Jenner’s great grands?

I guess the point here is not to ruin the holiday but call us to a higher place. We used to live in a country that dirty things whether in business or personal were hidden from the masses. We weren’t perfect but we were much more mindful of the ones coming after us. Nowadays it seems like we don’t give a damn.

Posted in Uncategorized

Tired of guns yet?

Given the true history of the United States of America, are we not too sophisticated for guns in our society?

We are still experiencing school shootings, homicides, suicides and accidental deaths by guns. In healthcare we are trying to get everyone to be proactive in getting their screenings, knowing their numbers (related to blood pressure and diabetes), excercise, eat the right foods, why? Because doing these things will promote good health and save lives. And all the advocates for good health carry a message that is null and void because of guns.

Does profit matter that much to us that our very lives have become worthless?

Over the last 45 years 1.4 million people have been killed by guns. We loose about 13k people a year because of guns. It just seems that it’s such an easy decision to say that we have outgrown firearms. It seems that we would want to be a more civilized nation and not have a need for such violence.

The main politicians who speak in favor of guns are financially connected to the industry in some way. They are making money off of our dead.

Japan and other countries have all but eliminated firearms from civilians. Are they really that much better than us?

Posted in Uncategorized

A conversation about protesting

In the midst of protest, I wonder what actually makes someone want to protest? I mean, we will see many protests on abortion in the weeks to come. Any number of other protests could take place from gun laws in the wake of the Virginia Beach shooting to this foolishness Republicans are doing with the census.

The problem with protesting is being in the know about what you’re protesting. Is it really possible to be outraged by an abortion law that kills babies, but be silent about police shootings on African Americans? Can we truly hate Trump for putting kids in cages in detention centers who come to our country seeking escape from somewhere and not be just as outraged with Obama who did the same thing?

Is it right to argue the inhumane treatment of animals while enjoying steak, bacon or fried chicken and never mention how those animals are treated?

If any of these are possible then protesting is simply hypocrisy! Or maybe the problem is that we are not informed. We have not done our homework before we lash out in protest. We want to be so up-to-date with our arguments but all it shows is that we haven’t done our homework.

Although it is never taught this way but this is why history is so important. There is nothing new under the sun. Most of what we are seeing is a rerun. And when you research how some of our laws became laws and how some of our practice became “best practices”, it will make you sick to your stomach.

This is why Donald J. Trump is definitely not the worst president the U.S. has ever had. Ninety percent of what he has done, was tried before by another president. The anger should not come against the president alone because he’s not acting alone. Both political parties have failed to represent the middle and lower classes, but without history we protest the wrong things.

That’s your history lesson for the day! Happy protesting!!