ClydeStyle

Category: Achievement

  • The Crime of Cheating!

    So it seems that in America we have a conscience. Albeit a conditional conscience, but nevertheless a conscience.

    Tiger Woods and many other super athletes, famous actors, rich folks and presidents have all been caught cheating on their spouses. The only difference between 70 years ago and now is that today we act like we really care. When we look at the fall of marriage in America, our attempt to keep it sacred is to crucify the ones who get caught violating the bonds of marriage as a reminder for us all. It’s sort of like in medieval times when they would have public executions.

    Well, Tiger Woods was the latest victim. Sad to say for me I won’t see him and golf the same anymore. The reason is not what you think. I DO NOT condone cheating on your spouse, but it happens. I don’t condone lying either, but guess what? It happens. However, here we have this rich guy, who has made this woman rich beyond her wildest imagination. He’s a very powerful man who does many charitable things – including a state of the art school for inner city kids to provide them with a first-class education. One reporter made the comment that he shouldn’t have the school anymore because he’s not a good role model. Seriously?!?

    The man plays golf very well — better than anyone else on the planet. Let’s say that he is a role model. Wouldn’t that role model status be limited to just golf? Or are we really to believe that because he’s an awesome golfer that he has to live up to the standards of moral excellence as well? Is there some secret code that says a man who excels in anything, must be as good in everything else?

    Tiger shouldn’t have cheated. He probably shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place, but for this adult to be reduced to this scrutiny about his personal life is not fair. The crime for this cheat isn’t the cheating – it’s the self righteous views of the public. Cheating doesn’t mean Tiger is now a bad golfer, a bad father or even a bad husband. It just means he cheated and it was a bad decision.

    It’s not even our business. Some argue that this is the price for fame. It’s not. He is a victim of circumstance. Seventy years ago, this wouldn’t have made the news. Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth and many other athletes, rich folks, presidents and famous actors cheated. Men particularly would cheat because they could without much of a penalty back then. There were not even laws to take care of the victims back then. So guess what the victims did? They stayed. They made adjustments and they remained married. It was what men did and women were expected to take it and be thankful for what they had. (Rent the movie Mona Lisa Smile for more info on this).

    Again, I am not condoning cheating. What I’m saying is that if this is the standard we are going to maintain, then we should do it for everyone. Not just the rich and famous, but everyone. But we can’t stop there. What about the victims in these cases? When is there a judgment against them? Maybe Tiger’s wife when she got angry with him, she withheld sex. Maybe Tiger likes to do really kinky things that she doesn’t want to do. Maybe she’s not as clean as Tiger would like her to be and it’s a turnoff for him. Or maybe she’s just a spoiled little daddy’s girl whose attitude of entitlement has pushed Tiger away. Or maybe she has done nothing to deserve this. In all of these cases, they don’t need public commentary, they need private counseling.

    I hope my point is clear. If not I’ll spell it out one last time in these three easy points:

    1)      A marriage is sacred and we should worry about what’s going on in our own homes and stay out of other people’s homes unless we’ve been invited in.

    2)      Super athletes are great at one thing – the sport they play – and we should admire the talent and honor God for the gift, but point the moral finger at ourselves. We shouldn’t place expectations on other people. We should only place them on ourselves.

    3)       If there is a mistake a person can make to wipe out the many things they’ve done well, then we’ve condemned everyone…because everyone makes mistakes.

    Those that live in glass houses should not throw stones!

  • There is no secret ingredient

    The movie Kung Fu Panda was on cable recently. It’s interesting how you can sit and watch some movies over and over again. This was a very cute movie – but I won’t give you a synopsis of it here.

    However, I will share with you the gold nugget buried in this movie it’s one that many struggling adults also need to hear. “There is no secret ingredient” is the key to unlocking the next level for whatever stage you are at in life.

    Some of us are simply “surviving” and are just thankful that we’re able to make ends meet – at least, most of the time.

    Others have reached the stage called “contentment.” We are just continuing to do what we are doing because life is easy and it makes sense for us at this stage. We know we haven’t reached our full potential – but hey, we’re happy.

    Some of us have reached the level where we actually begin to know that we are worth something. We may have thought we have some worth before, but situations and circumstances have happened to us – and we’ve seen some victories.  Now we think we have it all figured out.

    But this is where the frustration begins.

    At this level, we begin to assess where we are in life – and we see that we have the potential to be farther along than we are now. We’re frustrated because we want our current job to make that happen for us, but it doesn’t happen. We feel trapped because we have bills to pay and a family to support. We can’t just keep jumping around from job to job — we need stability!

    But at the same, we’re not sure we can handle the pressures that achieving the next level may bring. Oh, we talk tough when we’re angry—like when something happens on the job that makes us want to pack up and leave. But deep down, we know we can’t – because we’re trapped. The next stage is comfortable – which is just another form of contentment. After that comes (finally!) success – the real deal!

    So how do we reach success? What’s the secret? In the movie, we learn that the secret is: THERE IS NO SECRET! It is YOU!

    To succeed in anything, we must first believe we can do it. We can have all the skill, ability, talent, gifts – even a great smile – but the magic doesn’t start until we believe we can do it.

    Problems are like math. There is a process to them. No matter how difficult the problem, the process of solving them remains the same. If you can multiply 2×2, then you understand the process and can multiply 13,658 x 27,498. One takes a little more time than the other, but the process is still the same.

    If we were to take this approach to surmounting the obstacles we encounter in our lives, we would gain the confidence we need to tackle bigger problems.

    Then – before we know it – we can handle anything life throws at us!

    Case in point: Michael Jordan was probably one of the greatest basketball players ever to compete in the NBA. He always wanted to take the last shot and he thrived on high pressure situations. He would often hit the winning shot during the last few seconds of the game – devastating the hopes and confidence of the other team.

    We always hear about the end result – how he hit the game winning shot. But what we don’t hear about is why. The answer is always clouded with statements like, “Wow! He’s just the greatest!” and “Gosh, how can he do that?” and “Oh my! Did you see that shot!?!”

    If we could hit the slow-motion button just as Jordan is dribbling down the court to take the shot – and ask him WHY he is taking that shot, he would say, “Because I know I can make it.”

    I’ll never forget that last shot in Hoosiers when the movie’s character, Jimmy, is in the huddle. The coach calls a play that shocks the team. He proposes using Jimmy as a decoy so someone else can take the last shot. Seeing the looks of dismay on the players’ faces, the coach frantically asks the team “What’s wrong?” Jimmy looks at him and says what the rest of the team was thinking.

    “I’ll make it,” he said.

    I still get chills thinking about that line.

    I’ve made a few of those shots – both on and off the court. I hope you take away from this article the secret to the secret ingredient: YOU!