ClydeStyle

Tag: cheating

  • Happy appreciation day!

    Only part of the United States participates in this annual ritual known as Sweetest Day and I have been doing it wrong. Whereas Valentines Day is to celebrate romantic love, Sweetest Day is to appreciate all the folks in your life for who they are. Male or female doesn’t matter — it’s just a day of appreciation.

    Granted Hallmark gets excited when in comes around probably more than anyone else but in these tough times it’s good to take a day and evaluate relationships and appreciate them.

    I was reading an article about a woman who dropped her boyfriend off at Kroger and she stayed in the car. While she waited on him she took the opportunity to go through his phone only to discover he may have been having an inappropriate relationship with her sister.

    She was so enraged that she waited for him to come out of the store and she ran him over with the van — seriously injuring him and killing an innocent person walking out behind him. She then, stops the van, gets out and begins to attack her boyfriend while he is lying on the ground wounded.

    It appears as though she snapped and could not bear the information she discovered while invading his privacy. It is unclear if the sister was a minor or not but whatever she found, she was in that moment willing to give up or greatly alter her own life because of it. She, of course, is now facing a ton of charges and if convicted she will get life in prison.

    There are so many things wrong with this scenario. It is for this reason why we need to really evaluate the relationships we have to see if they are for better or for worse. To truly celebrate Sweetest Day we should first purge the toxic relationships and covet the really good ones. So here’s to all of you who are making this life better for others! The world would be nothing without you!

  • The Crime of Cheating!

    So it seems that in America we have a conscience. Albeit a conditional conscience, but nevertheless a conscience.

    Tiger Woods and many other super athletes, famous actors, rich folks and presidents have all been caught cheating on their spouses. The only difference between 70 years ago and now is that today we act like we really care. When we look at the fall of marriage in America, our attempt to keep it sacred is to crucify the ones who get caught violating the bonds of marriage as a reminder for us all. It’s sort of like in medieval times when they would have public executions.

    Well, Tiger Woods was the latest victim. Sad to say for me I won’t see him and golf the same anymore. The reason is not what you think. I DO NOT condone cheating on your spouse, but it happens. I don’t condone lying either, but guess what? It happens. However, here we have this rich guy, who has made this woman rich beyond her wildest imagination. He’s a very powerful man who does many charitable things – including a state of the art school for inner city kids to provide them with a first-class education. One reporter made the comment that he shouldn’t have the school anymore because he’s not a good role model. Seriously?!?

    The man plays golf very well — better than anyone else on the planet. Let’s say that he is a role model. Wouldn’t that role model status be limited to just golf? Or are we really to believe that because he’s an awesome golfer that he has to live up to the standards of moral excellence as well? Is there some secret code that says a man who excels in anything, must be as good in everything else?

    Tiger shouldn’t have cheated. He probably shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place, but for this adult to be reduced to this scrutiny about his personal life is not fair. The crime for this cheat isn’t the cheating – it’s the self righteous views of the public. Cheating doesn’t mean Tiger is now a bad golfer, a bad father or even a bad husband. It just means he cheated and it was a bad decision.

    It’s not even our business. Some argue that this is the price for fame. It’s not. He is a victim of circumstance. Seventy years ago, this wouldn’t have made the news. Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth and many other athletes, rich folks, presidents and famous actors cheated. Men particularly would cheat because they could without much of a penalty back then. There were not even laws to take care of the victims back then. So guess what the victims did? They stayed. They made adjustments and they remained married. It was what men did and women were expected to take it and be thankful for what they had. (Rent the movie Mona Lisa Smile for more info on this).

    Again, I am not condoning cheating. What I’m saying is that if this is the standard we are going to maintain, then we should do it for everyone. Not just the rich and famous, but everyone. But we can’t stop there. What about the victims in these cases? When is there a judgment against them? Maybe Tiger’s wife when she got angry with him, she withheld sex. Maybe Tiger likes to do really kinky things that she doesn’t want to do. Maybe she’s not as clean as Tiger would like her to be and it’s a turnoff for him. Or maybe she’s just a spoiled little daddy’s girl whose attitude of entitlement has pushed Tiger away. Or maybe she has done nothing to deserve this. In all of these cases, they don’t need public commentary, they need private counseling.

    I hope my point is clear. If not I’ll spell it out one last time in these three easy points:

    1)      A marriage is sacred and we should worry about what’s going on in our own homes and stay out of other people’s homes unless we’ve been invited in.

    2)      Super athletes are great at one thing – the sport they play – and we should admire the talent and honor God for the gift, but point the moral finger at ourselves. We shouldn’t place expectations on other people. We should only place them on ourselves.

    3)       If there is a mistake a person can make to wipe out the many things they’ve done well, then we’ve condemned everyone…because everyone makes mistakes.

    Those that live in glass houses should not throw stones!