ClydeStyle

Tag: control

  • Appropriate: Building character even when only God is watching

    There was a recent journalist who shared her sexual harassment story in a new podcast. This was the first time she had spoken openly about it, and even after a few years, she was still shaken by the events that happened.

    She did not say exactly what hurt worse, but the person who did this to her was a trusted colleague, and she never saw it coming. He made references to her private parts, and, to me, it appeared he was “shooting his shot” with her.

    She is a beautiful woman who has always displayed a professional demeanor and definitely not the type to invite such behavior. She ultimately left her job over this and never reported his inappropriate behavior.

    We live in a country of blurred lines. Private things should remain private and likewise for things public. When you blur the lines, it supports inappropriateness.

    For men specifically, we need to develop an inner governor that safeguards us from inappropriate behavior. We need to be able to halt this behavior during the thought process. This way, the actual corresponding behavior never comes to pass.

    This is a moral issue. Whatsoever a man thinks in his heart, so is he. If we surround ourselves with the wrong things and we allow for negative energy to remain in our inner spaces, we are doomed to fail.

    Some of Donald Trumps comments regarding women come from a sense of entitlement and having the power and wealth to, for the most part, do what you want to do.

    It is for men to protect our women by maintaining appropriate behavior at all times. It is difficult to write this without sounding too preachy, but we need a stronger all-out effort to make our society as safe a possible k e for our women and children.

  • Politics as usual: They don’t really care about us

    Things are ramping up for the 2024 elections, and in every election year, politicians attempt to tell us what really is important. Their talking points start off with, “The American people want this…” Make no mistake, the elections are never for the American people. In a democracy, elections are used to make the people believe they have a say or control of what is happening in their country.

    Talking points work like worms against a fish. Politicians debate and talk about topics that interest the general population, but never are these things changeable. For example, President Joe Biden, who is the architect of the 94′ crimes bill responsible for putting millions of minorities in prison, went on the radio show The Breakfast Club and said if Black people did not vote for him, they weren’t Black. He talked about police shooting unarmed Black people was a problem; he talked about voting rights being a priority; he talked about the criminal justice system being a problem, but they didn’t make his radar once he was elected.

    What Biden did is what every Democrat does: Their interest is not in helping minorities but in helping the base. Republicans are the same with favoring their base. The problem is the majority of the people in both bases are white!

    So then brown people continue to struggle with immigration and black people struggle with everything else. Doing things for the masses or serving you base doesn’t scratch the surface of the people for minorities.

    When I say minorities, I am talking about people in America who make under 80k per year. The best part of America is the ability to earn money. A sample of all races is earning money in America, but the overwhelming majority of Americans are struggling. I am specifically saying that there is not much being done to help their situations. Some temporary Covid protocols made a difference for a short while, but these benefits don’t compare to the benefits given to citizens in other countries.

    So after each election, politicians prove to the masses that they don’t care about us. We should begin hearing about the “big scare” that the democrats do every election year to cause fear among the people of the dangers of not voting democrat. The Republicans do they same thing on their side, and while the fear is increased, the benefits for the poor decrease. Don’t think this is a racial divide because it isn’t. This divides us by class.

    The greatest vote you can make to a politician is to contribute money to their campaign because that’s who will be satisfied with the win. Imagine if you are a politician and one constituent gives you $50, and another gives you $1000 per month. Who would you listen to?

    Until this system changes, the common man will always get the shaft during the elections.

  • We have problems we don’t want to be fixed

    Last month Tyre Nichols was funeralized in the usual fashion of a victim of police violence. Al Sharpton did the Eulogy. Various dignitaries spoke out against police violence including Vice President Kamala Harris. We always talk a good game when these things happen but history has shown that when a problem can easily be fixed and we don’t take the steps to correct the problem, then the truth is we don’t want to fix the problem.

    America rules the world in violence and in creating weapons for violence. One of the many lessons we should have learned from our civil war is that we were not mature enough and do not value life enough to use weapons. We should have learned that our nation is not stable and we will always turn these weapons against ourselves.

    When the drugs that our government poured into urban areas back in the 80s got out of hand (which was the plan), we created the war on drugs and we put many Black and Brown men in prison. Even though cocaine was heavily used in the suburbs by whites, they could possess 280 grams of cocaine and a Black person could have the same amount of crack cocaine (or any drug), and the person of color would automatically get 10 years in prison even if that was their first offense. The reason? Mandatory minimums. This is a rule by Congress to stop the trafficking of certain drugs in urban areas and a judge had no choice but to enforce the mandatory minimum.

    With guns and policing this principle of mandatory minimums would deter crimes if they are enforced. What if you were a gun owner and your son took one of your guns and shot up his school? If the gun owner would suffer a mandatory minimum of 10 years, I would bet his son would never get near his guns. Or what if the seller of the gun was held accountable? There would be no shortcuts in background checks then.

    What if police officers got mandatory minimums for lying on their reports? Ten years for falsified documents, 3 years for not turning on your body camera, and 5 years for witnessing any wrongdoing by an officer and not reporting it or intervening to stop it. Shooting an unarmed suspect when you should have used any number of non-lethal options like pepper spray, tasers, and nightsticks should be a mandatory 20 years. There would instantly be a great decrease in police shootings and school shootings if this plan was implemented.

    Of course, the best plan would be to get rid of handguns and automatic weapons for good. The police would not need to carry them and they could adopt the same plan Japan has. In 1989 they had their last mass shooting by banning weapons for civilians. Their police force carries no weapons but they all have been trained in martial arts. When will our government feel that we are too civilized for weapons?

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  • How much control do you think you have?

    Control is defined as the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events. If life was a card game then our biggest bluff would be pretending to have power.

    Control is something we all know exists and we have all been the victims of someone controlling us. There are many things that we desire in our flesh that become entrapment for control. People try to control us with jobs — especially promotions; sex; money; expensive items; and even reputations.

    Some times we come across people who have such a “poker face” or a demeanor that demands respect that we surrender our controls to them even sometimes without even realizing it.

    Truth is that there is only one power. You guessed it: God our father is the only power (authority) and so when we talk about control we are speaking authority and this comes from God. Now, some folks have taken false liberties in the interpretation of Romans 13:1-2 is saying that all power is from God and you must obey the higher powers. The translation is better render we should obey all powers that surrender to God for they are of God. It’s understood in the text as of course Paul would have never told us to follow a blind leader or one who only seeks vain glory for himself.

    The God of heaven is the only authority and he doesn’t want to be blindly followed. For biblical leaders, we were always told to support them who have spoken to us the word of God and whose faith follows (their actions) (Heb. 13:7).

    So then reputation, demeanor, temperament and lifestyle have everything to do with your precieved power. It seems as though people are always looking to follow. The manner of person you are will determine the influence you have and how many people will follow you. If you want to be impactful, you must seek to lead a life that is concurrent with the teachings of scripture.

    God is always raising a few good men and women to work in his kingdom and effect the world. Are you one of those leaders?

  • Happy appreciation day!

    Only part of the United States participates in this annual ritual known as Sweetest Day and I have been doing it wrong. Whereas Valentines Day is to celebrate romantic love, Sweetest Day is to appreciate all the folks in your life for who they are. Male or female doesn’t matter — it’s just a day of appreciation.

    Granted Hallmark gets excited when in comes around probably more than anyone else but in these tough times it’s good to take a day and evaluate relationships and appreciate them.

    I was reading an article about a woman who dropped her boyfriend off at Kroger and she stayed in the car. While she waited on him she took the opportunity to go through his phone only to discover he may have been having an inappropriate relationship with her sister.

    She was so enraged that she waited for him to come out of the store and she ran him over with the van — seriously injuring him and killing an innocent person walking out behind him. She then, stops the van, gets out and begins to attack her boyfriend while he is lying on the ground wounded.

    It appears as though she snapped and could not bear the information she discovered while invading his privacy. It is unclear if the sister was a minor or not but whatever she found, she was in that moment willing to give up or greatly alter her own life because of it. She, of course, is now facing a ton of charges and if convicted she will get life in prison.

    There are so many things wrong with this scenario. It is for this reason why we need to really evaluate the relationships we have to see if they are for better or for worse. To truly celebrate Sweetest Day we should first purge the toxic relationships and covet the really good ones. So here’s to all of you who are making this life better for others! The world would be nothing without you!

  • We need another labor movement

    So Labor Day is coming and many will be off work, probably barbecuing and just simply relax. We deserve a day. We work hard. There was a time in our history where people worked 12-hour days for very low wages and even kids were working dangerous jobs for even lower wages. They worked on farms, mines and in factories.

    Labor day began as a huge protest for better wages and an 8-hour work day. They wanted restrictions on child labor and wanted to be able we to work hard and take part in the American dream.

    During an election year in the 1800s, then President Grover Cleveland made Labor Day a national holiday for fear of losing the election due to alienating the working class. More regulations followed and conditions got better over time.

    Remember this was the reason slavery was ended. Not so much because it was inhumane but because that free labor kept many without work because if you can get free labor, why would you want to pay a fair wage if you didn’t have to.

    Fast forward to the 21st century and we are still fighting for fair wages. There is still a huge gap in wealth and one percent still has waaaaaay more money and assests than the 99 percent. As a result, American went from being the No. 1 country to live in (1950s) to No. 17 today. Can you believe that there are 16 countries that live better than we do in America? We are delusional.

    The countries that are in front of us are all in the top 5 in multiple categories like wages, science, math, lifestyle, better climate, technology and mortality. We lead the world in 3 categories: Prison population, weapons of war and belief in Angels.

    Our problem is that we are not trying to be the best. We are not even trying to be fair. We are trying to maintain our current status where the rich get richer and the poor, stay poor.

    We are no where near the top 10 in wages, working conditions, lifestyle or income equality. We don’t even have the best social programs to help change generational curses and poverty among the poor. Sweden holds that title. Australia and Canada seem to alternate from No. 1 or No. 2 in many categories with Switzerland, Germany and New Zealand rounding out the top 5.

    We can do much better than we are doing. If you googled the best places to live you would shocked at what other places offer that we don’t. And it’s not that we can’t. We have a government that is self serving and won’t.

    This is why we need a new Labor Day protest to finish the job where the first left off. Labor Day started as a massive protest where everyone stopped working for a day. What if we stopped working a pay period? It would shutdown the country and Congress would respond immediately. Definitely something to think about while your working the grill this holiday.

  • Finding YOUR spot in this world

    One of the most fulfilling things in life is to know your place. To know where you fit in life and actually be doing something that builds your self worth is something everyone would want but few actually achieve.

    Opportunity has been covered in red tape and there are so many hoops to jump through that many people give up on chasing their dreams. It is as if our government wanted to keep people from achievement. It seems as if the rich have a hold on making the real money and instead of skill and ingenuity creating opportunities, who you know makes all the difference.

    The decision needs to first be made as to the thing that matters most: To seek fame or fortune; to have influence and power; or to make life easier or better for others. Other decisions like whether or not to go to college, start in the military or learn a trade are key. A person can succeed doing either of the three.

    Then understanding what moves you and what makes you feel alive. I’ve always asked myself the question is it a job that I would do for free. Then finally you have to make it work. And on the way to completing this task you learn many things about who you are and what you are made of. You learn your passions and your fears. You learn how you respond in problem solving and the things that frustrated you the most.

    Above all else you have to master the learning curve to secure your space under the sun. There really is enough world for all of us. You just have to carve out your own slice! Happy cutting!

  • Way too many hats

    The problem with Christianity today is that the Christian understanding of religion is played out in hats. What I mean is we process Christian traits like wearing a hat. So there is a hate for love, a hat for forgiveness, a hat for service, a blessed hat, a joyful hat and even a praise hat and depending on our mood we regularly switch hats.

    Unfortunately there are other hats. Hats of hatred, racism, anger, gossiping, back biting and lustful. We switch these hats on and off as well. The problem lies in the fact that we never lose the evil hats in this concept. Because when the wind blows there is of telling which hat we will wear.

    Further, in a moments notice someone can do something negative to me and my hat willing change instantly. For example, I could be wearing my happy hat, and then someone could start a political argument with me and the anger hat is summoned. I then willfully chose to put on the anger hat. You see I had a chance to keep on my happy hat, but my flesh rose up against me and anger seemed like the best hat.

    So for me to be better, I have to get rid of the hat system. It needs to be replaced with something better because it gives me too many negative choice. What I recommend is a tattoo system — yes, tattoo system. With the tattoo system I can have the fruit of the Spirit tattooed on me for choices and I can leave the works of the flesh alone. I don’t even need them as options.

    So what would it be like if we could only use what was tattooed on me? It means that when the flesh told me to become angry (and that isn’t an option), I would choice from my option menu and pick love. When offered the gossip option, I would choose to serve. This way my only options would be godly and I would no longer see the other negative things available.

    My friends, this is a choice you can make. Stop falling for the hat trick and get you some tattoos in Jesus name!

  • Tell your anxiety to get in line

    Living in Western civilization means to live with anxiety and to have something to constantly worry about. It seems that most of what we worry about has to do with things we cannot control. That tends to drive us crazy. We lose time, sleep, energy and creative time worrying.

    With such busy schedules I discovered this life hack that tends to work well for me. It seems so simple but for me it was really effective. I scheduled my time to worry. I mean I literally had it on my calendar. Once it’s scheduled I direct my brain to stop worrying until that time. When you focus on this you actually stop worrying. What this allows you to do is focus on solutions and be productive in other areas that you do control.

    Pretty neat, huh? Then you literally get a natural high from all the things you accomplished when you focus. And here is the best part — when your scheduled time to worry comes up, you will be hard pressed to find something to worry about. Most of the time the problem takes care of itself. If not, all you have to do is reschedule your worry time.

    Now with every accomplishment you have to give yourself credit for it. Celebrate a successful day in some creative way. There is nothing wrong with slowing your pace to congratulate yourself. You mind will conform to this if you focus. This idea works because all we are really trying to do is be productive. We want to be able to do meaningful things that allow us to grow and develop a sense of pride in our living. Successful people have learned how to manage their anxiety and you can to.

    Make sure you focus on what matters most and then you make sure you are physically able to hand your load and then give yourself a fighting chance. Get plenty of sleep, eat healthy, enjoy daily exercise and drink plenty of water. You will feel that stress melt away. Trust.

  • The myth of making up lost time

    There are some folks who believe that they can make up time. They kick up a lot of dirt to make it look like something is happening and then there is nothing.

    You cannot make up time, all you can do is try to let it get lost. How does it happen? Neglect, poor planning, ignorance, slothfulness and anger are a few habitual contributors to the lost of time. Human error is always the problem and the fix for it does not occur in the midst of more time. It comes in post production where the time correction is discovered and made known to all who are involved.

    What needs to happen is the one who is responsible for losing the time needs to acknowledge such and make preparations to never allow it to happen for the same reason again.

    You cannot make up time no more than you can unsee a tragedy. We attempt to try and make it up because we all see and can relate to the unfairness of it all. It’s a permanent action that leaves a permanent scare. There are children who are struggling because they were cheated out of time. There are people stuck in relationships that have been nothing but a big waste of time. There are people who have gotten divorced and the circumstances were not favorable to all parties so someone has been purged of time. Companies have tons of lazy employees that such the business dry of time. There are teachers who are tired and disgruntled who are stealing quality time from our kids.

    People have died too early or too late. So called friends have wasted our time as well. Pastors are wasting time and social media is a waste of time. When we die, it would be a shamed to look back at your life and realize that if you had back all the time you wasted you would be alive for another decade. A recent university study confirmed that humans waste 21.8 hours a week. This seems like a really bad waste of life. So instead of trying to redeem the time, we need to focus on the present and what is to come instead of what’s lost in the past.