ClydeStyle

Tag: Forgiveness

  • You don’t need an apology

    Forgiveness is a concept that our country isn’t too keen on as we are definitely people for revenge. Whenever someone’s crime upsets our social norm, we want blood.

    Mass shooters, pedophiles, rapists, bad police officers, repeat offenders, men who hit women, or anyone who is against the LGBTQ community are all subject to revenge following their miscues. But in actuality, forgiveness doesn’t require an apology. Of course, it would be nice to have one, but it is not required. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the infraction as much as it has to do with you making a decision.

    Forgiveness is a choice. It is frivolous to measure sins or even label them from bad to worse. Forgiveness involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. Why would you do that? Because hate in your heart consumes. It burns like fire.

    There are 3 types of forgiveness: 1) Exoneration where a person genuinely makes a mistake; 2) Forbearance where the person gives a partial apology, but the offense did not call for a more extreme level; 3) Release where there is no acknowledgement of hurt. The person never even took responsibility for the pain they caused. So which one do you think God would want you to exercise? Here is a hint: God would want you to practice the one you need.

    I don’t know about you, but I need to practice release because that is the one I need from God. The Greek word for forgiveness in scripture literally means “to let go,” and the context is the act of pardoning an offender.

    So, if I am to practice forgiveness from the Bible, it must be the one I expect from God because the scriptures tell us that God is going to forgive the same way we do. Now, who needs an apology?

  • Getting your God complex under control

    We all have this inner God complex. It’s where we get some of our best ideas, it’s where our compassion grows, it’s where forgiveness begins and it’s where our unconditional love comes from. With this complex, when things are going well, we achieve and flourish in various areas. We create, lead, influence, edify and develop ideas. When things are at their worst, we tend to lack forgiveness for ourselves.

    We being to accept blame, sometimes too much blame because in our complex we think we should have known, seen, anticipated, figured out or controlled people, places and things — and that’s impossible.

    The feeling is amplified when other people are injured by our actions. It happens. What should take place is that we should release all negativity, deal with the facts and be reflective about moving forward. Learn the lessons and forgive yourself. We need to begin to see the truth about these ill- feelings.

    God doesn’t want us punishing ourselves because something fell through the cracks or we proved that we are not perfect. I started out calling it a God complex because when something happens some of us will take full responsibility as if we were God and could control everything.

    Nobody is perfect. Most people who dare to lead want to do their best. It doesn’t always happen like that and you need to forgive yourself. Now! And move forward a better person!

  • Do you see the beauty in your brokenness?

    Do you see the beauty in your brokenness?

    In the bible, Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. We don’t know why she looked back, all we know is the action was purposed.

    Did she look back because she was missing something? Or did she look back because she was angry? Reviewing? Regretting?

    It’s hard to live your life and move forward when you are stuck in the past. We all have had things in the past that were hurtful, disgraceful, embarrassing and stressful. Some of us are still dealing with trouble from our past. That trouble brought relationships we don’t want, debt we wish we didn’t have and freedoms we wish we hadn’t lost. We troll through life unsure, unfamiliar and unhappy. We always blame ourselves (and sometimes it is our fault), but more times than not we were tricked by some bastard who never really cared.

    So we find ourselves in a new year with the same old problems. And like previous years we said that the current year would be “that year” where things would change for the better. So we packed up our things and waiting on the porch for change to show up and get us — but change never showed.

    Change never said it was coming.

    You actually have to hunt down change and make it come home with you. Change is what you need and it is closer than you think.

    So what I find with people who are searching for change is that they are actually living life through their failures instead of their successes. They have already discredited their victories as a fluke; they have assassinated their own character as not being good enough; and they have settled for far less than they deserve.

    Am I talking to you yet??

    Your victories are legit! Your life is not a waste! You absolutely deserve better! And you are just as worthy as the next person. What makes us worthy is not contained in anything we aspire to do. It’s the fact that God made us to be.

    Your time is now. You already know what you need to do. You have been afraid all this time but not anymore.

    There is an upside to being down and that is your ability to bounce! Your purpose is greater than the life you have been living. Cut away your dead weight, negative feelings and past mistakes. Capitalize on what you have learned and let this be the year you do YOU!

  • Covet the best gifts this year

    Covet the best gifts this year

    While we are in the mist of shopping and making sure we  get that special gift for that special someone in our lives, it’s always good to reflect on the best gifts we can give.

    After all,  this is the season for giving.  And while everyone is in a festive mood – and probably more receptive to hear things during this time of the year, I’d like to weigh in on the best gifts of the year.

    Now, of course, there are experts in the retail business who can predict which toys will be top sellers and what line of clothing will make you the talk of the town. There are also specialists in the gadget department that can tell you about the best of the best in iPhones and Mp3 players, computers and Blu-ray brands and, of course, flat screen TVs.

    I am interested in other types of gifts. The gifts that I’m talking about are more precious than silver or gold. These are the gifts that change lives. Wait for it … wait for it …

    The first gift is love. There are many people living with anger, racism and hatred. These people hurt others because they have been hurt. And you know how misery loves company. If we would give these people unconditional love – for as long as it took – it would change their lives for the better. Only special people can do this. This gift requires you to love the un-loveable and allow your love to cover a multitude of sin. This requires you to love like Jesus.

    Can you do that?

    The second gift is that of forgiveness. How many people live guilty, waiting to hear those three words – I forgive you? How many of us are holding someone at bay, not forgiving them and making them feel really bad because they did something wrong?  And then we turn around and attempt to celebrate a holiday like Christmas. I wonder if I looked up the word hypocrite whose pick would I see by that word. Giving the gift of forgiveness requires us to forgive like Jesus.

    Can you do that?

    And finally, the last gift is the gift of your time. It’s always easier to write a check and let someone else to the work. The gift of your time requires you to actually stop living for yourself and give that time and energy to someone that needs it. People like kids that are growing up without a dad; single mothers who are having a hard time raising their kids alone; or a widow or widower. There are many people who are lonely, afraid to be alone and depressed. Image if the last person you knew or read about who committed suicide. Do you think they needed someone they could trust to talk too? Giving the gift of time requires us to give our time like Jesus.

    Can you do that?

    I’m thinking we would be a stronger nation if we coveted these three gifts. Now, I’m off to practice what I preach!