ClydeStyle

Tag: how to change

  • Happiness is still two kinds of ice cream

    Are you happy??

    Well first let us define our terms because sometimes we confuse happiness with joy. Joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness and it’s based on a response to a known stimulus. Jesus is Lord of us all. That is a fact to all who believe and as long Jesus maintains his current position as both Lord and Christ, we will remain full of joy despite our current circumstances.

    Happiness is similar. It is a feeling or showing of pleasure or contentment toward a situation or circumstance. Both joy and happiness begin in your brain.

    Not to get too technical but Endorphins are created in your pituitary gland and hypothalamus, both located in the brain. Endorphins are a type of neurotransmitter, or messenger in your body. They attach to your brain’s reward centers (opioid receptors) and carry signals across your nervous system which tells the rest of your body you’re happy. Imaging studies suggest that the happiness response originates partly in the limbic cortex. Another area called the precuneus also plays a role.

    Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin along with endorphins are the hormones that are responsible for our happiness. Dopamine is the main contributor as it is stimulated by compliments, good decisions and anything that makes you feel good.

    So a song or movie can change your mood or you can just decide to be happy or sad. You can choose to be angry or any of the emotions. Someone can commit an offense against you and instead of being angry, you can choose to be content. You don’t have to respond with anger — that’s just the first choice of your flesh when something happens but like a radio station in the car, you can choose another station when you don’t like the song.

    This process is a higher level of self-control which is possible to achieve. You would be teaching your body how to wait on you for the response instead of selecting the reaction for you. It takes practice but you can do it. One exercise I use to help me in this process is to practice the emotions often when there is no stimulus for them. I can be angry when I want to and I can be happy when I chose to as well and I can feel it in my body.

    The title of this blog simply means that happiness simply requires a cause to be. I keep a happy cause locked and loaded in my mind for when I need a different response to things — all facts, no fluff.

    Give it a try and see if we can make the world a happier place together!!!

  • Disorder danger

    In an effort to provide helpful information for families dealing with trauma, I want to discuss dissociative disorders today. It is very important when parenting to provide a literal safe-haven for your children. Home life should be care-free, loving, supportive and encouraging. It should be a place where your children can feel safe and secure from harm and be able to escape the pressures and worries of life. They need to be a part of an environment that is designed with them in mind.

    Normally at the beginning of their life we make sure the house is safe — especially as they become toddlers and begin to walk. We put things in place so they won’t get hurt. We lock cabinets and plug outlets to ensure safety and we try and have them follow a route everyday so they know what to expect and there are very minimal surprises. As they get older we stop thinking so much about their safety and docus more on their independence. Well, dissociative disorders are mental disorders that involve experiencing a disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions and identity. People with dissociative disorders escape reality in ways that are involuntary and unhealthy and cause problems with functioning in everyday life.

    The cause has to do with trauma normally in their youth. It could be natural disasters, death of a loved one, molestation, physical, emotional or sexual abuse or even war. Because personal identity is still forming during childhood, a child is more able than an adult to step outside of himself or herself and observe trauma as though it’s happening to a different person. A child who learns to dissociate in order to endure a traumatic experience may use this coping mechanism in response to stressful situations throughout life.

    The adult version of this gets worse. The disconnect from emotions starts and is stimulated by stress. Memory loss, a perception of the people and things around you as distorted and unreal and a blurred sense of identity. Significant stress or problems in your relationships, work or other important areas of your life and an inability to cope well with emotional or professional stress. And of course mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors will manifest itself in adulthood.

    It’s not all do and gloom though because psychotherapy and or medication have proven to be extremely successful treatments. If we could only move the stigma of mental health counseling being a negative, more people could get help. This condition effects every part of adult life and it makes relationships very difficult. The result end with people seeking alternative ways of dealing with the disorders. They self medicate, use drugs, having eating disorders and major depression.

    There is help available and the people suffering with this disorder are not alone. Seek professional help or visit http://www.clydestyle.org for answers. I am here for you!

  • Do you see the beauty in your brokenness?

    Do you see the beauty in your brokenness?

    In the bible, Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. We don’t know why she looked back, all we know is the action was purposed.

    Did she look back because she was missing something? Or did she look back because she was angry? Reviewing? Regretting?

    It’s hard to live your life and move forward when you are stuck in the past. We all have had things in the past that were hurtful, disgraceful, embarrassing and stressful. Some of us are still dealing with trouble from our past. That trouble brought relationships we don’t want, debt we wish we didn’t have and freedoms we wish we hadn’t lost. We troll through life unsure, unfamiliar and unhappy. We always blame ourselves (and sometimes it is our fault), but more times than not we were tricked by some bastard who never really cared.

    So we find ourselves in a new year with the same old problems. And like previous years we said that the current year would be “that year” where things would change for the better. So we packed up our things and waiting on the porch for change to show up and get us — but change never showed.

    Change never said it was coming.

    You actually have to hunt down change and make it come home with you. Change is what you need and it is closer than you think.

    So what I find with people who are searching for change is that they are actually living life through their failures instead of their successes. They have already discredited their victories as a fluke; they have assassinated their own character as not being good enough; and they have settled for far less than they deserve.

    Am I talking to you yet??

    Your victories are legit! Your life is not a waste! You absolutely deserve better! And you are just as worthy as the next person. What makes us worthy is not contained in anything we aspire to do. It’s the fact that God made us to be.

    Your time is now. You already know what you need to do. You have been afraid all this time but not anymore.

    There is an upside to being down and that is your ability to bounce! Your purpose is greater than the life you have been living. Cut away your dead weight, negative feelings and past mistakes. Capitalize on what you have learned and let this be the year you do YOU!

  • Resolutions should be a way of life

    Of the 50 percent of Americans who make resolutions, 90 percent of them break their resolution by the middle of January.

    It seems that the end of a year gives us a temporary conscience. It bothers us enough to acknowledge that there are things in our lives that need fixing, but nothing about the New Year makes us want to do anything more than admit it and move on.

    We know that there are people who don’t need to be in our lives and there are things we need to just flat out stop doing. Whether that is ending a destructive relationship or maintaining a healthy blood sugar level, we need to be far more serious about this.

    Here is a practical way to keep your resolutions. Don’t do a resolution for a year; do them by the day, hour or even minute.

    A resolution is a way of admitting we’re wrong and need to be better regarding something in our life. Why not make the idea of resolving ourselves a way of life? What would be wrong with keeping the imperfection ever before us – even to the point of letting others know that you recognize the need to change in this area. Then legitimately work on it. Really commit to the change and raising the bar of expectation in your life.

    By doing this daily, I think you will find that those around you will begin to acknowledge a different you. After all, that’s what we all want anyway, right?