ClydeStyle

Tag: Mistakes

  • Does America still believe in morality?

    Morality is principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior. A hundred years ago, our country based its morality on what was written in the bible. Our country claimed a belief in Jesus Christ and a belief in the bible.

    There were other religions here. Hinduism, Buddhists, Muslims, and atheists were welcome in our country and shared similar views as Christianity.

    As time moved forward, morality was hijacked by social norms. According to google, social norms are the perceived, informal, and mostly unwritten rules that define what behaviors are considered acceptable and appropriate within a given group or community, essentially acting as unspoken guidelines for how people should behave in a particular social context; they are based on shared beliefs and expectations about what is considered “normal” behavior within that group. 

    The problem with social norms is trying to define what is “normal.” We do not all share the same views on what is normal. Over time, normal became human nature, and human nature depends on a lot of things.

    For some people, it is human nature to take something that is not yours if you want it bad enough and nobody is looking. For others, it is human nature for a man to refrain from crying at a funeral. Still, others believe that it is human nature for men to exercise power over other men and women. They may use the power that comes from money or physical power, resulting in sex.

    Our biases have crept into our human nature, our social norms, and our biblical interpretations. Our constitution was written the same way, which is why it gave no rights to women nor minorities.

    So, where is our morality today? It rests and abides with the rich and powerful. We see this play out in politics every day. Corporations like to believe they dictate social norms. They run most of the advertisements that tell us what products to use, what to eat, what medicines to take, where to vacation, what cars to buy, who is acceptable, and who is not.

    We are riddled with double standards. We have “laws” in this country, but if you have the right law firm representing you, you can bypass the penalty.

    Is it moral for the elderly to suffer in a country as rich as ours? Is it moral for babies to be born in poverty and without healthcare in this country as rich as we are? Our country tends to help many more foreign people than they do citizens. Ukraine and Israel greatly benefited from the benevolence of the US, while there are people struggling in the rural and urban areas of a plethora of things.

    It is hard to believe that America still believes in morality.

  • Getting your God complex under control

    We all have this inner God complex. It’s where we get some of our best ideas, it’s where our compassion grows, it’s where forgiveness begins and it’s where our unconditional love comes from. With this complex, when things are going well, we achieve and flourish in various areas. We create, lead, influence, edify and develop ideas. When things are at their worst, we tend to lack forgiveness for ourselves.

    We being to accept blame, sometimes too much blame because in our complex we think we should have known, seen, anticipated, figured out or controlled people, places and things — and that’s impossible.

    The feeling is amplified when other people are injured by our actions. It happens. What should take place is that we should release all negativity, deal with the facts and be reflective about moving forward. Learn the lessons and forgive yourself. We need to begin to see the truth about these ill- feelings.

    God doesn’t want us punishing ourselves because something fell through the cracks or we proved that we are not perfect. I started out calling it a God complex because when something happens some of us will take full responsibility as if we were God and could control everything.

    Nobody is perfect. Most people who dare to lead want to do their best. It doesn’t always happen like that and you need to forgive yourself. Now! And move forward a better person!

  • What if there were no mistakes?

    What if there were no mistakes?

    When I review my life, I see many colors. Colors which represent the good and the bad. All the good things about my life are the very bright colors – things like the success stories I have, fears I have conquered or the birth of my three children. And then there are the dark colors – things that I regret doing, saying, and falling for. The dark colors represent the times when I was a sucker. They are blemishes that prove I’m not perfect.

    I had a thought while I did this review: What if everything that has happened to me was not an accident or a mistake? What if the things that happened to me were my destiny and that a higher power had purposed and set some things in motion to bring me to a certain point? What if the words “accident” and “mistake” were all part of a big conspiracy to make us believe that we had a level of control we don’t really have?

    I heard an atheist say once that God, the creator of the universe, was no more than an imaginary friend who we created because we were scared of death and the unknown. He said that everything that has happened was going to happen anyway and because of fear, we invented religion. Religion then gives us something to do when we’re scared.

    I believe that there is some truth to what my atheist friend has said.

    The truth is that I believe, we have been allowed to believe, that there are accidents and mistakes so as to point blame when something happens. This is not to be confused with things that we cause to happen that were not accidents. For example, another friend of mine lost his job. He started off telling me that his racist boss finally got rid of him. I asked what happened and he said that they made him take a random drug test and the marijuana he smoked last weekend was still in his system. Trying to keep from laughing I said, “So how does this make your boss racist?”

    You can probably figure out the rest of the conversation. My friend lost his job because he was careless with it. Smoking illegal substances is a quick way to get fired from most jobs – especially in our economy. Not that it is impossible for his boss to be a racist – it’s still a challenge we face in the 21st century. But even with this scenario, there was a deeper reason – other than stupidity – for him losing his job. When we lose things, there is a lesson in that. For my friend, the lesson was responsibility. More than anything else, he needs to be more responsible. He needs to take responsibility for his actions and stop blaming others. Blaming others is a diversion from learning the personal lessons.

    What I want you to see is the beauty of trials and tribulations. I want you to understand the other side of a mistake. The point is that if we take away the concept of a mistake, then we would be clear to see the true destiny in the trial and we could “count it all joy.”

    Remember the old record players that required a needle to play the vinyl records? If you are old enough to remember them, you will also remember that sometimes the needle would skip. A CD player will sometimes skip too. And in both cases we would know that either the player or the record or CD needs cleaning. Could I say that the CD or record player made a mistake? Think about it before you answer. Was there a mistake made or is the “skip” just a by-product of usage?

    We don’t call it a mistake because we accept that things won’t work properly sometimes and we move on. Why can we not do this with our own mistakes?

    I remember years ago when I left one research company to work for another one. The one I was going to was paying me 15K more to leave. I felt unappreciated at the current place, so I left. I worked for this new company for 19 months. I signed off on the construction of the building, I purchased all of the furniture and hired all 44 employees and set this research company up to run like a well-oiled machine. Once that was done, they let me go and hired another person with very little management experience. I have to say, looking back on the experience, that when they let me go it was one of the best things that happened to me. At the time, I thought I made a mistake leaving the other company. I shudder to think that I could still be at that other company, complacent, underpaid and miserable.

    It would have been great if I could have taken the word “mistake” out of my vocabulary and automatically thought about the scripture in Romans 8:28.