ClydeStyle

Tag: opportunity

  • Does America still believe in morality?

    Morality is principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior. A hundred years ago, our country based its morality on what was written in the bible. Our country claimed a belief in Jesus Christ and a belief in the bible.

    There were other religions here. Hinduism, Buddhists, Muslims, and atheists were welcome in our country and shared similar views as Christianity.

    As time moved forward, morality was hijacked by social norms. According to google, social norms are the perceived, informal, and mostly unwritten rules that define what behaviors are considered acceptable and appropriate within a given group or community, essentially acting as unspoken guidelines for how people should behave in a particular social context; they are based on shared beliefs and expectations about what is considered “normal” behavior within that group. 

    The problem with social norms is trying to define what is “normal.” We do not all share the same views on what is normal. Over time, normal became human nature, and human nature depends on a lot of things.

    For some people, it is human nature to take something that is not yours if you want it bad enough and nobody is looking. For others, it is human nature for a man to refrain from crying at a funeral. Still, others believe that it is human nature for men to exercise power over other men and women. They may use the power that comes from money or physical power, resulting in sex.

    Our biases have crept into our human nature, our social norms, and our biblical interpretations. Our constitution was written the same way, which is why it gave no rights to women nor minorities.

    So, where is our morality today? It rests and abides with the rich and powerful. We see this play out in politics every day. Corporations like to believe they dictate social norms. They run most of the advertisements that tell us what products to use, what to eat, what medicines to take, where to vacation, what cars to buy, who is acceptable, and who is not.

    We are riddled with double standards. We have “laws” in this country, but if you have the right law firm representing you, you can bypass the penalty.

    Is it moral for the elderly to suffer in a country as rich as ours? Is it moral for babies to be born in poverty and without healthcare in this country as rich as we are? Our country tends to help many more foreign people than they do citizens. Ukraine and Israel greatly benefited from the benevolence of the US, while there are people struggling in the rural and urban areas of a plethora of things.

    It is hard to believe that America still believes in morality.

  • Have gun, will travel

    This phrase from the 50s is all about being ready to do anything. There was even a show about it back then, but the makers of this show would have never imagined that their callous attitude about the use of guns would be trumped by the views held currently about gun use.

    I wonder how many folks believe the founding fathers were thinking of automatic weapons when they wrote in the constitution for us to have the right to bear arms?

    What is more scary is that in recent months, there have been some really senseless shootings. There have been people shot for going to the wrong house, getting in the wrong car, standing around doing nothing, and going to a sweet 16 party. It seems as though the school shootings, church shootings, and other mass shootings are old news.

    Have we gotten bored with shootings?

    And then, Congress can’t seem to find the courage to solve this very simple problem. The answer is not as easy as changing gun laws or even outlawing certain guns because there are too many guns available.

    If we take the position that we all have to die of something or you feel that as long as it is not your kid getting shot, then who cares? It is easy to see how votes can be purchased for a price, and the NRA has deep pockets. Their average spending is around 3.2 million per year, buying the votes of senators and other law makers.

    The level of hypocrisy has to stop. Clearly, the answer will not come on a federal level. It has to take place state by state. Local organizing is the answer, and the time to do it is now. Have political power, will travel!

  • What to do when love calls? (part 3 of 3)

    The doorbell rings and there is a gentleman caller. He’s well groomed and standing there with a single rose. He greets me with a hug and he smells amazing. The aroma is earthy with a hint of citrus. He’s excited to get where we’re going and he says I will love the surprise. We head out to his car and he opens the door and assists her in getting in. He starts the car and beautiful jazz sounds come from the bose speakers. We’re off and I don’t care what happens next.

    This scenario is a beautiful to a potentially satisfying evening. Two people who are available, drama free and emotionally available to each other. They are both at the stage of life, where they are looking for a partner to share life successes. All the kids are adults and doing well, houses are owned, advancement at work are abundant, and they’re both in the mood for love.

    It is surprising how uncommon this situation is. Typically, one or both partners have a deficiency in life that tends to hinder healthy relationships. If this scenario is closer to your situation, then you are considered blessed. However, there are 5 things that have to be present to assure success in the relationship.

    First, there is honesty. This is a key ingredient to every healthy relationship because you can’t build trust without it. Honesty is being truthful and sincere with your words, actions, and thoughts. What reason would there be for someone to be dishonest in a relationship? There is no reason to be dishonest, and a healthy relationship has no tolerance for dishonesty.

    Second, integrity is acting in a way you know to be right and kind in all situations. This should be a quality that everyone brings to the table, but those who lack the ability to have a healthy relationship see nothing wrong with omitting integrity. This should be another deal breaker.

    Third, respect is treating people, places, and things with kindness. A person who normally lacks in this area starts with not respecting themselves. A good test is to see how this person speaks about their parents. For a female, it’s her dad, and with the son, it’s the mom. These are the people who would be the instructors for your partner, and if they didn’t learn it from them, then they probably don’t know it.

    Fourth is attentive, which means a person who pays close attention to the welfare and well-being of another. This is the quality where a person makes you feel like you really matter. They pay attention when things are not right. They calculate strategies to make you happy. They know how to give their undivided attention and live directly in the moment.

    Last but not least, the person needs to be open minded and have a sense to at least try something once. This brings a freshness to the relationship and the opportunity to explore together and learn what works best for each partner. The world is a big place with lots of customs and rituals that become great learning tools for an adventurous couple.

    These ingredients serve as great starting points for a healthy relationship. So remember to not rush into anything. Relationships should always be a choice.

  • The power of our integrity

    The division we face in this world is directly related to our integrity. Let me explain. Integrity is the state of being whole and undivided. Our divisions come from a response to what is happening and the blaming of opposing sides.

    For example, Republicans are convinced that President Joe Biden is bad for America. A growing population believes the Republicans are holding back our country. Depending on what side you fall on, you will pick up the disagreements where they left off. You will be outraged because they are. You will play out their thoughts with your aggression as we saw at the insurrection on Jan. 6.

    Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. It’s moral uprightness. You see, this allows me to maintain my moral integrity even when my favorite party goes rogue.

    Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris ran on a platform that promised to improve our criminal justice system. Now they could still do something but the fact that it’s not even being discussed is disappointing. Further, under this administration, we are doing more for Ukrainian refugees than we are for American citizens who are struggling. Congress recently passed legislation that allows Ukrainian refugees to collect social security benefits — to the tune of more than two grand per person in the household.

    Social security is a system that the beneficiaries have paid into over time. This would mean that our hard-earned dollars are going to help them and not the folks that it was intended. And neither party has solved the problem of making sure all eligible veterans receive their benefits. There are too many who are homeless.

    Integrity is the element that should stop a person from grabbing a firearm and harming innocent folks! If you cannot look at the various arguments without losing your cool, you have an Integrity problem.

    What Dr. Martin Luther King was trying to do with the civil rights movement was take people with integrity to look at society’s problems systemically and find nonviolent ways to solve such problems. He was quite successful in doing that.

    Today America needs an integrity check and begin to solve its problems in the best interest of all people. If not, we will destroy ourselves from the inside.

  • Determination is our strength; guess where it comes from?

    Determination is the firmness of purpose. Resoluteness. Whenever we see success, determination showed up first. To live life knowing where you’re supposed to go is a beautiful thing. It allows you to step with assurity and act expeditiously.

    Obviously, this state is not so easily attained. Many get paralyzed in their desires and crumble at the stress. When there is no “handout” in sight, can you get the job done alone? Ignorance, prejudice, stupidity, pressure, and focus are always against us. It’s a battle whether you have succeeded or failed we all will have these struggles.

    Then, our upbringing at times is a hindrance to our future because either someone loved us too much or not enough. Perverted things happened that affected our lives forever or we had a loved one missing which left an empty space in our hearts. We were bullied, discouraged, cheated, lied to, and hurt.

    Finally, we lacked the proper examples, we never saw someone else do what we desired to do and we lost our sense of well-being. It was as if there was a conspiracy set against us. But deep down in our souls is a glimmer of hope.

    Now hope is commonly used to mean a wish: its strength is the strength of the person’s desire. This would be fine if there had been no challenges or disappointments in your life. But in the Bible hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength is in His faithfulness. This means that you have a blessed assurance of trusting in God to bless your efforts according to his will.

    Watch how this works: This would mean that you would never trust a man, you would never even blame a man for his folly. Everything that would happen to you would be viewed as part of a grand scheme by God that ends in your benefit. Completely trusting God and living a life to please him is the greatest thing for a man. The Bible teaches us to seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness. It then promises that everything else we need would be given to us.

    When you read about God’s people in scripture try counting all the rich people. Adam was rich — he was the only man on earth. Noah would have experienced this as well being the head of his household. Abraham and Isaac were rich. We literally saw Jacob obtain his wealth. Job and countless others lived extremely well and I believe they were blessed in this way because God saw their heart and knew that wealth would not ruin them.

    The point here is that determination begats success but believing in God begats determination. We come into this world being memorized by what we see. I want you to ignore what you see and live life knowing.

  • Great time to create family rituals

    One of the greatest days in a child’s life is today — the eve of Christmas. This day for me growing up was always filled with great anticipation and food preparation.

    There were 5 children living at home and my parents not only made Christmas happen for us each year, but fed our family and extended family with an incredible feast with all the standards: Turkey and dressing with ham and Swedish meatballs. Mac n cheese, yams, collard greens, broccoli casserole and 7-layer salad.

    Desserts were in abundance as well with sweet potato pies, yellow cake with dark chocolate frosting and a carrot cake. We all had Christmas baskets with various trinkets, fruits and nuts.

    If we were poor (and according to my parents we were) we could not tell. If there was another way to live, we didn’t want it. Our house was surrounded by love.

    When I grew up and had my own family, both my wife and I shared similar traditions which we continued with our family. Our kids were completely spoiled having more toys than they could handle and tons of food. Christmas songs played all the time throughout our house starting on Thanksgiving and ending on New Year’s Day.

    It was important to us to build these type of memories within the mind of our children. In a world full of trouble and problems, this was the time of year where thongs were supposed to work right!

    Be mindful of what your children digest from the environment you placed the in. Go all out and give them something wonderful to remember and pass down to the next generation. This is the best time to create family rituals!

  • Finding YOUR spot in this world

    One of the most fulfilling things in life is to know your place. To know where you fit in life and actually be doing something that builds your self worth is something everyone would want but few actually achieve.

    Opportunity has been covered in red tape and there are so many hoops to jump through that many people give up on chasing their dreams. It is as if our government wanted to keep people from achievement. It seems as if the rich have a hold on making the real money and instead of skill and ingenuity creating opportunities, who you know makes all the difference.

    The decision needs to first be made as to the thing that matters most: To seek fame or fortune; to have influence and power; or to make life easier or better for others. Other decisions like whether or not to go to college, start in the military or learn a trade are key. A person can succeed doing either of the three.

    Then understanding what moves you and what makes you feel alive. I’ve always asked myself the question is it a job that I would do for free. Then finally you have to make it work. And on the way to completing this task you learn many things about who you are and what you are made of. You learn your passions and your fears. You learn how you respond in problem solving and the things that frustrated you the most.

    Above all else you have to master the learning curve to secure your space under the sun. There really is enough world for all of us. You just have to carve out your own slice! Happy cutting!

  • Way too many hats

    The problem with Christianity today is that the Christian understanding of religion is played out in hats. What I mean is we process Christian traits like wearing a hat. So there is a hate for love, a hat for forgiveness, a hat for service, a blessed hat, a joyful hat and even a praise hat and depending on our mood we regularly switch hats.

    Unfortunately there are other hats. Hats of hatred, racism, anger, gossiping, back biting and lustful. We switch these hats on and off as well. The problem lies in the fact that we never lose the evil hats in this concept. Because when the wind blows there is of telling which hat we will wear.

    Further, in a moments notice someone can do something negative to me and my hat willing change instantly. For example, I could be wearing my happy hat, and then someone could start a political argument with me and the anger hat is summoned. I then willfully chose to put on the anger hat. You see I had a chance to keep on my happy hat, but my flesh rose up against me and anger seemed like the best hat.

    So for me to be better, I have to get rid of the hat system. It needs to be replaced with something better because it gives me too many negative choice. What I recommend is a tattoo system — yes, tattoo system. With the tattoo system I can have the fruit of the Spirit tattooed on me for choices and I can leave the works of the flesh alone. I don’t even need them as options.

    So what would it be like if we could only use what was tattooed on me? It means that when the flesh told me to become angry (and that isn’t an option), I would choice from my option menu and pick love. When offered the gossip option, I would choose to serve. This way my only options would be godly and I would no longer see the other negative things available.

    My friends, this is a choice you can make. Stop falling for the hat trick and get you some tattoos in Jesus name!

  • Being a friend

    There seems to be a shortage of true friends in this world. Social media can be down right evil sometimes. It gives everyone a reality show and truth be told, every thing that goes on in your life is not meant for prime time! You see, social media just wants the “show”. And they will use your life, identity, click bait and other avenues just to keep people watching so money can be made off the advertisements.

    This is where the true friend should come in. Your close friend is supposed to be a person who has proven that you can trust them, lean on them, be vulnerable with them and just be your entire self — good or bad– with them. The friend is the one who stops you from making stupid decisions that could lead to your demise. Your friend is supposed to be the eyes in the back of your head, the hell raiser when times get really bad and your defender when needed. Based on what we can see daily on just one social medium is enough to say we are failing at being true friends.

    When I see an embarrassing moment on social media I immediately think to myself, “Oh, if they just had a real friend.” I see women and men make completely idiots of themselves and become the entertainment for the world because they struggled to deal with some relationship issue. Someone treated them wrong, or made them look like a fool or both. These hurt people then go before the social media gods seeking approval, sympathy and support for their troubles. But all they become is a sideshow of comedy for people who could care less about the truth or the real story of what happened in your life.

    A friend is supposed to stop you from looking like an idiot. Social media is NOT your friend. So the next time you see some foolishness online that makes you shake your head or laugh out loud, think about the absence of that friend who could have prevented all the foolishness. If you are one of those people who believe telling all your business on social media is acceptable, please understand NOBODY CARES. I know you think you are telling it to a group of folks who carry the label of your “friends” but it really is just in name only. Even if you have the maximum of 5000 friends on your list, the lion’s share of them still don’t care.

    Don’t believe me? Go on Facebook and ask everyone on your friends list to send you $1 and see if the amount you receive matches your total number of friends. I promise you it won’t come close!

  • The parable of the lines: part 2

    Parables are always wonderful stories. Jesus Christ is the master teacher and he told them far better than any man. This little parable of the lines gives us great insight to the condition of America.

    There is a condition in our country that creates a permanent underclass. We have generations of people living on government assistance and this is never what FDR intended when his administrator looked for a way to provide temporary help for families in need. Families were quite different during that time.

    There were many jobs to be had and they required little or no skill. A person back then could graduate from high school and secure a good enough living to sustain a family. Somewhere along the way we got greedy and began to get paid more for doing less. This sense of entitlement is what led to the first and second lines.

    Struggle has become a way of life for so many in our country that it seems most don’t mind residing in the first two lines.  The second line at least tried to work out a plan and purpose for their lives, but their efforts were met with rules that were against them and a lack of real opportunity. The largest part of that opportunity comes because despite America being culturally diverse, the people doing the hiring are not interested in creating a staff that is culturally diverse.

    What we have then and now is the hiring managers and the gatekeepers of the majority of our jobs hire those people who they feel most comfortable hiring – which is normally a person of the same race. That wouldn’t be a problem if the gatekeepers and hiring managers were already diversified. Now this does not make them all racists. It means that this trend has helped to create this permanent underclass. Still many companies are just now hiring their first black this or their first Hispanic that. And I’m talking about the real jobs, not the minimum wage gigs or the middle management positions. I’m talking about the six figure jobs.

    The third line is basically your middle class and this group is just trying to prove that the American Dream does exist. It’s the group that doesn’t like everything that is going on, but because their scenarios are not as bad as others, they grin and bear it. The interesting part is that more of this class is beginning to understand how the fourth line got to be the way it is.

    The fourth line cheated, benefited from old money and/or knew someone that showed them the way. It’s sad, but true.

    This parable really is about change and the real need we have in America to change. This is one of a thousand scenarios that could describe this trend. We are in trouble. If we stay the course, we won’t make it. We need to wake up and be heard. What are you prepared to do?