ClydeStyle

Tag: respect

  • Living with a disability

    Although it is not talked about much, July is Disability Pride Month, and specifically, July 26th celebrates the signing of the American Disabilities Act (ADA).

    In America, we don’t do a good enough job taking care of this population. Similarly, we don’t take care of seniors either. Like everything else, money and status matter so that despite how rich of a cou try this is, we fail to take care of our most vulnerable.

    It is not even on the radar for most people. If you don’t have a disability or you’re not helping to take care of a person with disabilities, their care would not be on your mind.

    Five years ago, I was stricken with a bacterial infection that eventually made me a bilateral below-knee amputee and killed my kidneys. I am also on dialysis. Medicaid has been a blessing to me as I am taking 17 pills per day, and the prescription bill alone would be hard to afford.

    As long as I stay in the network, my health expenses are covered. But let’s talk about the coverage. I wear prosthetics and  ,  like everything else, if you have money, you will be up and walking close to normal. If you are poor, it’s an entirely different story.

    I have the lowest form of prosthetics available outside of a pirate’s peg leg. It takes me nearly 500 percent more energy to take a step than a healthy person. More advanced prosthetics could get me closer to 50 percent if I had the money.

    Because of this, many people, in my case, don’t even attempt to walk because of this. Imagine not having legs and trying to get around and do things. Even with assistance, it is difficult.

    Technology should make life easier for everybody. We decide to always bring cost into it. So what then is the benefit of being in the richest country?

    Shout out to all the caregivers who donate time and energy to help the disabled. We will pray together for things to get better.

  • Reparations solution: Itemize

    There has been much discussion over the last few years regarding reparations, and as more people begin to understand the necessity of giving reparations, how to administer it will be the next conversation.

    What I have learned over the years is that nobody believes Blacks have been treated fairly, but nobody takes responsibility for the infractions. We have definitely turned a blind eye on the injustices and disparities created in our society.

    Also, people are still debating about slavery being the main reason for reparations, but I don’t believe anyone should be getting reparations for slavery. The reason is because there are at least 10 other reasons to do it.

    I won’t take the time to go through all of them, but we’ll look at a few just for kicks and grins!

    First, the Federal Housing Administration (FDA) was supposed to help all Americans get loans for housing. They had many payouts over the years but didn’t make their first payment to a minority until 1971 – that’s a 41-year problem because the FHA was established in 1930.

    Second, the police all across America have been predatory to Black males. This is easily proven by the unfair number of tickets, arrests, and conviction rates compared to other groups.

    Third, the real estate market has done an outstanding job limiting where minorities can move and making them live it areas where the property value is horrible. Moreover, they were extremely unfair in granting loans. They were biased when it came to loans, interest rates, amount of loans, credit criteria, and length of loans.

    Fourth, you would think that a person with the same experience, same education, and same ambition would get the same pay. Well, in America, white men have always gotten at least 38 percent more than anyone else for the same job with the same specs. This still happens today.

    Five, there have been laws created to expressly suppress, oppress, and stiffle the financial and educational wealth of minorities in this country.

    So, if we were to simply get the math wizards to calculate the damage of just these 5 things, we would get an idea of the true offense. It’s not a matter of just writing a check, either. You can not make up time and development, and something has to happen to ensure we never go backward.

    We have spent more than 75 billion dollars helping Ukraine in their fight with Russia. What about the fight we have here at home?

  • What to do when love calls? (part 3 of 3)

    The doorbell rings and there is a gentleman caller. He’s well groomed and standing there with a single rose. He greets me with a hug and he smells amazing. The aroma is earthy with a hint of citrus. He’s excited to get where we’re going and he says I will love the surprise. We head out to his car and he opens the door and assists her in getting in. He starts the car and beautiful jazz sounds come from the bose speakers. We’re off and I don’t care what happens next.

    This scenario is a beautiful to a potentially satisfying evening. Two people who are available, drama free and emotionally available to each other. They are both at the stage of life, where they are looking for a partner to share life successes. All the kids are adults and doing well, houses are owned, advancement at work are abundant, and they’re both in the mood for love.

    It is surprising how uncommon this situation is. Typically, one or both partners have a deficiency in life that tends to hinder healthy relationships. If this scenario is closer to your situation, then you are considered blessed. However, there are 5 things that have to be present to assure success in the relationship.

    First, there is honesty. This is a key ingredient to every healthy relationship because you can’t build trust without it. Honesty is being truthful and sincere with your words, actions, and thoughts. What reason would there be for someone to be dishonest in a relationship? There is no reason to be dishonest, and a healthy relationship has no tolerance for dishonesty.

    Second, integrity is acting in a way you know to be right and kind in all situations. This should be a quality that everyone brings to the table, but those who lack the ability to have a healthy relationship see nothing wrong with omitting integrity. This should be another deal breaker.

    Third, respect is treating people, places, and things with kindness. A person who normally lacks in this area starts with not respecting themselves. A good test is to see how this person speaks about their parents. For a female, it’s her dad, and with the son, it’s the mom. These are the people who would be the instructors for your partner, and if they didn’t learn it from them, then they probably don’t know it.

    Fourth is attentive, which means a person who pays close attention to the welfare and well-being of another. This is the quality where a person makes you feel like you really matter. They pay attention when things are not right. They calculate strategies to make you happy. They know how to give their undivided attention and live directly in the moment.

    Last but not least, the person needs to be open minded and have a sense to at least try something once. This brings a freshness to the relationship and the opportunity to explore together and learn what works best for each partner. The world is a big place with lots of customs and rituals that become great learning tools for an adventurous couple.

    These ingredients serve as great starting points for a healthy relationship. So remember to not rush into anything. Relationships should always be a choice.

  • Let’s make freedom for all … for once

    This Independence Day I thought we could quickly discuss one of the longest living forms of abuse — corporal punishment! Whenever this subject comes up some one quickly says, “Well, I was spanked when I was growing up and I turned out fine.” So the premise is that spankings did no damage to the receiver back in the day so it’s fine for today. Or it means that because of spankings we now have many fine citizens who had loving parents that carried out their Christian duty of “not sparing the rod as to not spoil the child.”

    Many believe that the bible teaches the benefits of spanking kids. Does it? More on that in a moment. The earliest I could research the use of corporal punishment came around 1800 B.C. during Babylonian captivity. The Babylons utilized the death penalty for violation of 25 particular laws.

    Of course we know that this was a learned behavior from England that followed immigrants here during revolutionary times. Slaves were beaten for violating the slave code. This became the dominant understanding and use of corporal punishment. It was used in schools and homes throughout America.

    According to a study conducted by the Harvard School of Education, spanking is not an effective way to discipline a child whether be it at home or at school. The worse part of spankings physically and mentally was when it was done to embarrass, out of anger, out of frustration or to intimate a child. Were you spanked for any of these reasons?

    Further, the bible does not teach us to abuse our children by spanking them. Proverbs 13:24 has been taken completely out of context and interpreted by western standards. The rod in the text is equal to the rod of a shepherd who would use it to teach and guide the sheep with it, not ever to be used as a weapon. This is why Psalms 23 says, “thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

    In addition, for me knowing that spankings were associated with slavery was enough for me not to introduce it to my children. Moreover, I was definitely more important for my kids to love me than fear me. I could come up with far more practical means of consistently convening my point to me children without subjecting them to a violent attack from the one who is responsible for protecting the home.

    So, it’s Independence Day and we are celebrating freedom. Let’s give our kids the freedom to be loved, guided and encouraged instead of adding violence to our dysfunction and giving them a license to carry this barbaric behavior to our future generations.

  • I’m baaaack!

    Yes. The headline is true. I have started writing again. I’m older, wiser and I have lived. I’m been through comedy and tragedy and I’m now back to share the experiences. Some of the experience will be spiritual and others will feel like therapy but it’s all being done to build you up and give thought-provoking commentary.

    There are more books in the works as well as a podcast. I am even working on an R&B band and a cooking channel. I am praying that these things will be a blessing to all.

    So for my first blog back I just want to share a bit about judging others. It seems that we are extremely hypocritical about this category because everyone has an opinion, but that only seems to apply when YOU are giving the commentary. It doesn’t feel so good when it flows the other way. The problem with judging is that it allows us to elevate our own sense of self-worth over another. What gives you the right to judge? It’s because I feel I have something very important to say … because I am that important. It seems that instead of the bias commentary, we ought to be engaged in helping.

    The bible says it this way: “If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.”
    Galatians 6:3 NLT
    https://bible.com/bible/116/gal.6.3.NLT

    The point here is that since we have the energy to burn, why not use it to build someone up instead of tearing them down.

  • My hope is built on nothing less . . .

     

    You ever wonder how a person can respect someone when they constantly treat people bad or hurt people’s feelings? How is it that people who run around with a sense of entitlement get placed in these positions of power only to be self serving and not look out for the best interest of the people that serve them?

    Romans 13:1-2 says, “1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God:  the powers that be are ordained of God.  2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation (KJV).”

    There is a valuable lesson in authority. Whether the person with the authority acknowledges God or not, the source of his power is God. The person who is in authority has a responsibility to God in using their power, whether they want to acknowledge God or not.p_a-2

    We, the subjects of these authoritarians, have a responsibility to power and authority. I can disagree with a higher power, but I still have the responsibility to respect that power because it is God given.

    Respect and obedience are two different things even though the outcomes may look the same. I can have a boss who perceives me as a threat and mistreats me because of his feelings. Someone looking from the outside might see my submission to my boss despite the way he treats me and ask, “why are you so obedient to him?”

    Obedience is a reaction. Respect is an action. A person can choose respect, but obedience is a reaction — normally to fear. Nowhere in Romans 13:1-2 does it use the word fear. It gives a statement of fact and then behavior that should follow. I want to honor God in everything that I do and I have learned that God places me in positions where I get the honor of showing him how much I want to honor him. That may come in the form of a challenging boss, estranged relationship, dealing with a stranger or challenges within myself. In all cases God has placed me in a situation that I can demonstrate who I belong to and more importantly who I serve.

    As a result, I am not a slave to circumstances because I know he is in control of them. I am not oppressed by authority as someone who has no hope and I bow down to no man.

    God is supreme and still in control. I am now to live free because I believe this to be true. And how about you dear reader? Are you living this truth or are you a enslaved. Is your hope built on the power of the creator of the universe or are you still trying to sit in that seat yourself? Choose this day who you will serve!