ClydeStyle

Tag: role model

  • Resolution over already???

    It is not uncommon to have ended your resolutions prematurely. Most who make resolutions fail to see them through. They were made with good intentions I’m sure but either poor planning, lack of desire, or it was too difficult, we start them and it doesn’t take long to snap back into last year’s habits.

    Don’t beat yourself up about it. In most cases it really just means you must take smaller steps. No one’s humanity enjoys cold turkey resolutions. You have to start somewhere so that needs to be something easier to handle.

    Many people are seeking to lose weight and for many it is because of health problems or to avoid future problems. You know you need to lose weight but do you really want to? All resolutions look good on paper, but in your heart of hearts is that really what you want?

    If you are 40 and you have been big all of your life, how long do you think it will take to get small? Definitely not likely in a year because the discipline is not there. And without professional help and support network — forget it!

    The bigger question is what do you do now? Do you try again? Do you select something easier? Do you even have to have a resolution??

    Someone planted a seed which said that if you are not moving forward then there is something wrong with you. We are all supposed to strive to be the be person we can be — who said we had to do that?

    Maybe your resolution should be all about making your own decisions. You should decide what happiness is for you. You should decided what type of lifestyle you want and live it! It is when we are trying to change for other people is where it becomes problematic.

    Love yourself enough to make small changes in your life to improve your well-being but don’t become obsessed. How you look, your job status and your bank account should not be our measuring sticks! Our character, integrity and servant hood should be the standard of person we become.

    Children are looking at us and they will take on our trials and tribulations. They need to be taught what is right as defined by you (I mean they are your kids). You control their level of involvement with social media and the greed of this society. You can choose to be different and raise children that will be productive citizen and not self-absorbed mini me’s that struggle each year with resolutions because they think they are not enough. Balance is key!

  • Restoring virtue back in Father’s Day

    I’m not exactly sure when it happened but fathers have been given a bad deal when compared to their counter parts for decades. The trend seems to follow how dads are viewed on television.

    What I mean is that back in the day we saw strong fathers leading their families, being the bread winner and dishing out the punishments. Dads were revered, respected and trusted. They were the shinning example of what a kid would want to grow up and be like.

    Most today have forgotten the famous dads of old: Ward Cleaver, Andy Griffin, and Ricky Ricardo. They were shortly replaced by Archie Bunker, Fred Sanford and George Jefferson. Then it got much worse with cartoon dads: Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin and good old Bob from Bob’s burgers. The role of dad became comic relief and lost its once shiny posture.

    During all this transformation the family units were broken up and women took the lead roles and became responsible for the whole house. So this is now father’s day weekend and the lowercase “f” was purposeful. In a month where fathers were honored is now sharing the spotlight with gay pride.

    I propose a campaign where fathers are placed back in their rightful positions as the leaders of their homes and a shelter and shield for their families. Women get a big star for attempting to both but look at all the shared responsibilities that come with having a real man standing st the gates of your heart and being the “house band” that he was called to be. Let us salute and encourage fathers everywhere to step into the light and take a bow!

    Happy Father’s Day!!!

  • The Crime of Cheating!

    So it seems that in America we have a conscience. Albeit a conditional conscience, but nevertheless a conscience.

    Tiger Woods and many other super athletes, famous actors, rich folks and presidents have all been caught cheating on their spouses. The only difference between 70 years ago and now is that today we act like we really care. When we look at the fall of marriage in America, our attempt to keep it sacred is to crucify the ones who get caught violating the bonds of marriage as a reminder for us all. It’s sort of like in medieval times when they would have public executions.

    Well, Tiger Woods was the latest victim. Sad to say for me I won’t see him and golf the same anymore. The reason is not what you think. I DO NOT condone cheating on your spouse, but it happens. I don’t condone lying either, but guess what? It happens. However, here we have this rich guy, who has made this woman rich beyond her wildest imagination. He’s a very powerful man who does many charitable things – including a state of the art school for inner city kids to provide them with a first-class education. One reporter made the comment that he shouldn’t have the school anymore because he’s not a good role model. Seriously?!?

    The man plays golf very well — better than anyone else on the planet. Let’s say that he is a role model. Wouldn’t that role model status be limited to just golf? Or are we really to believe that because he’s an awesome golfer that he has to live up to the standards of moral excellence as well? Is there some secret code that says a man who excels in anything, must be as good in everything else?

    Tiger shouldn’t have cheated. He probably shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place, but for this adult to be reduced to this scrutiny about his personal life is not fair. The crime for this cheat isn’t the cheating – it’s the self righteous views of the public. Cheating doesn’t mean Tiger is now a bad golfer, a bad father or even a bad husband. It just means he cheated and it was a bad decision.

    It’s not even our business. Some argue that this is the price for fame. It’s not. He is a victim of circumstance. Seventy years ago, this wouldn’t have made the news. Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth and many other athletes, rich folks, presidents and famous actors cheated. Men particularly would cheat because they could without much of a penalty back then. There were not even laws to take care of the victims back then. So guess what the victims did? They stayed. They made adjustments and they remained married. It was what men did and women were expected to take it and be thankful for what they had. (Rent the movie Mona Lisa Smile for more info on this).

    Again, I am not condoning cheating. What I’m saying is that if this is the standard we are going to maintain, then we should do it for everyone. Not just the rich and famous, but everyone. But we can’t stop there. What about the victims in these cases? When is there a judgment against them? Maybe Tiger’s wife when she got angry with him, she withheld sex. Maybe Tiger likes to do really kinky things that she doesn’t want to do. Maybe she’s not as clean as Tiger would like her to be and it’s a turnoff for him. Or maybe she’s just a spoiled little daddy’s girl whose attitude of entitlement has pushed Tiger away. Or maybe she has done nothing to deserve this. In all of these cases, they don’t need public commentary, they need private counseling.

    I hope my point is clear. If not I’ll spell it out one last time in these three easy points:

    1)      A marriage is sacred and we should worry about what’s going on in our own homes and stay out of other people’s homes unless we’ve been invited in.

    2)      Super athletes are great at one thing – the sport they play – and we should admire the talent and honor God for the gift, but point the moral finger at ourselves. We shouldn’t place expectations on other people. We should only place them on ourselves.

    3)       If there is a mistake a person can make to wipe out the many things they’ve done well, then we’ve condemned everyone…because everyone makes mistakes.

    Those that live in glass houses should not throw stones!