ClydeStyle

Category: Choice

  • What to do when love calls (part 1 of 3)

    Spring is here, and at least in the fairy tales, it means love is in the air. The environment tells us that it’s spring with the addition of new growth, leaves beginning to return, and the weather changes. Animals are feeling that special kind of way toward their mates, and soon, they will produce new growth.

    There is no escaping that fact that spring is here, and love is in the air. But when love comes calling for you, what do you do?

    Well, that depends on what stage of life you are in and whether or not in the inside you have healed from life’s challenges or you’re still wounded.

    How do you know you’re broken? In therapy there is a concept called the wounded inner child. The wounded inner child gets bruised in bad relationships. Many of us live with pain from various sources. Spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical. Simply to just love someone presents pain of some type.

    The reason is normally when we enter a relationship we tend to have expectations on the other individual, and we don’t always share it. They then respond in a way that we don’t like and the guilt we feel from putting the expectations on them in the first place gets the best of us. So because of that we are not honest about how we really feel. When we’re young is easy to let these things build up. We become professionals at hiding our true feelings. Unfortunately, after decades of this behavior, we become bitter — and then someone dies or the relationship finally runs its course.

    The person left in this scenario is broken, and for them to attempt to enter into another relationship prematurely does not allow the inner child to heal.

    Another fact is that the person who wants the new relationship always thinks they can help with this project. They cannot. Our egos allow us to believe that we are the best solution for whatever the problem is, and our loneliness is off to the side co-signing it.

    The best solution here is to wait. Wait to reflect. Wait to heal. Wait to see what God says. You should never rush into a relationship. That is never necessary. If the relationship is worth it, it can survive the wait.

  • Determination is our strength; guess where it comes from?

    Determination is the firmness of purpose. Resoluteness. Whenever we see success, determination showed up first. To live life knowing where you’re supposed to go is a beautiful thing. It allows you to step with assurity and act expeditiously.

    Obviously, this state is not so easily attained. Many get paralyzed in their desires and crumble at the stress. When there is no “handout” in sight, can you get the job done alone? Ignorance, prejudice, stupidity, pressure, and focus are always against us. It’s a battle whether you have succeeded or failed we all will have these struggles.

    Then, our upbringing at times is a hindrance to our future because either someone loved us too much or not enough. Perverted things happened that affected our lives forever or we had a loved one missing which left an empty space in our hearts. We were bullied, discouraged, cheated, lied to, and hurt.

    Finally, we lacked the proper examples, we never saw someone else do what we desired to do and we lost our sense of well-being. It was as if there was a conspiracy set against us. But deep down in our souls is a glimmer of hope.

    Now hope is commonly used to mean a wish: its strength is the strength of the person’s desire. This would be fine if there had been no challenges or disappointments in your life. But in the Bible hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength is in His faithfulness. This means that you have a blessed assurance of trusting in God to bless your efforts according to his will.

    Watch how this works: This would mean that you would never trust a man, you would never even blame a man for his folly. Everything that would happen to you would be viewed as part of a grand scheme by God that ends in your benefit. Completely trusting God and living a life to please him is the greatest thing for a man. The Bible teaches us to seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness. It then promises that everything else we need would be given to us.

    When you read about God’s people in scripture try counting all the rich people. Adam was rich — he was the only man on earth. Noah would have experienced this as well being the head of his household. Abraham and Isaac were rich. We literally saw Jacob obtain his wealth. Job and countless others lived extremely well and I believe they were blessed in this way because God saw their heart and knew that wealth would not ruin them.

    The point here is that determination begats success but believing in God begats determination. We come into this world being memorized by what we see. I want you to ignore what you see and live life knowing.

  • There is nothing like a good. . .

    There is nothing like a good teacher. Our educational system has a lot to be desired especially when being compared to foreign countries we’re not even in the top 20.

    But a truly good teacher is hard to find. Good being defined as one who unconditionally treats the children as little sponges that can absorb anything. These teachers change lives, inspire kids and builds confidents. They make learning fun and they make no distinction between the children. They do everything possible to make sure no child is left behind and they keep our kids safe.

    There is nothing like a good first responder! Whether you needed a firefighter, police officer or a paramedic these folks are gamechangers. They jump in the middle of tribulation and trials without regard for their own well being. They are selfless. They will be there when you need them without bias or fear. These individuals make the uniforms mean something and they are a blessing in any community. My heart still hearts for the Evalde, TX children who could have used such warriors but couldn’t find any. God bless our first responders.

    There is nothing like a good pastor! Someone who will lay down his life for his sheep. One who gives the right counsel in the time of confusion, a strong word in the moment of doubt and is a comfort to those in fear. A good pastor always prays, hopes, loves and endures. He has studied his craft and doesn’t live a contradicting life. He smells like sheep! Thankful for the pastor!!

    There is nothing like a good parent! It’s not easy to make a home and there are many broken and dysfunctional families in America but God bless the parent that keeps his family safe, provides a decent living, loves unconditionally, demonstrates and develops character, integrity and faith among the children. A good parent knows what the child needs before the child does. They nurture, teach, provide comic relief and empowers their children. Good parents teach their kids not to be bullies, to respect themselves and others, to work and play hard and most importantly to know Jesus. The parent is responsible for maintaining the sacred bond and trust between the parent and child for as long as they live!

    And finally, there is nothing like a good neighbor!! One who shows themselves friendly. A person who is helpful, resourceful and positive. A good neighbor cultivates a relationship that benefits both parties and does things never expecting any credit for it. A good neighbor keeps and eye on their surroundings to make sure it’s safe for all and they know when to get involved and when not to. Good neighbors build strong neighborhoods and even elevates the property value! Long life the good neighbor!

    Hopefully this blog as got you thinking of other good people in your life that are making a difference and to remember to give them their flowers before they die. 2023 is a good year to begin showing gratitude for the wonderful people God has place in your life!

  • How much control do you think you have?

    Control is defined as the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events. If life was a card game then our biggest bluff would be pretending to have power.

    Control is something we all know exists and we have all been the victims of someone controlling us. There are many things that we desire in our flesh that become entrapment for control. People try to control us with jobs — especially promotions; sex; money; expensive items; and even reputations.

    Some times we come across people who have such a “poker face” or a demeanor that demands respect that we surrender our controls to them even sometimes without even realizing it.

    Truth is that there is only one power. You guessed it: God our father is the only power (authority) and so when we talk about control we are speaking authority and this comes from God. Now, some folks have taken false liberties in the interpretation of Romans 13:1-2 is saying that all power is from God and you must obey the higher powers. The translation is better render we should obey all powers that surrender to God for they are of God. It’s understood in the text as of course Paul would have never told us to follow a blind leader or one who only seeks vain glory for himself.

    The God of heaven is the only authority and he doesn’t want to be blindly followed. For biblical leaders, we were always told to support them who have spoken to us the word of God and whose faith follows (their actions) (Heb. 13:7).

    So then reputation, demeanor, temperament and lifestyle have everything to do with your precieved power. It seems as though people are always looking to follow. The manner of person you are will determine the influence you have and how many people will follow you. If you want to be impactful, you must seek to lead a life that is concurrent with the teachings of scripture.

    God is always raising a few good men and women to work in his kingdom and effect the world. Are you one of those leaders?

  • Do you seriously care about causes?

    One of the great things about living in America is the freedom to protest. This government claims it will defend your right to do just that. I have to say “claims” because I still have the images of the protests during the Civil rights movement where water and dogs were used on peaceful protesters. Also, within the last 5 years with the Black Lives Matter movement and how brutal the police were to them.

    But my point is that causes are connected. It’s almost impossible to just protest one thing because chances are there are several issues within the cause you want to champion.

    Then, we tend to fail in the areas most important with causes — our solutions suck!

    For example, once upon a time teen pregnancy was shameful and the idea that you may get pregnant was a good deterrent for abstinence. Our country at that time was conservative and had a much better observance and reference for the word of God. There were government agencies that controlled what was acceptable over the airwaves and we made sure that what kids could see and learn in media would be something beneficial to their development.

    There were definitely protests regarding unwanted pregnancies and then adoption was the main source of handling them. Then some where the pregnancy dynamic became worse and some women (mostly poor and disenfranchised) sought their own methods of handling the problem (sometimes with a coat hanger of all things). Then Congress sought to solve this issue and put a bandaid on our unwanted baby problem and abortion was legalized. If you can’t beat them, join them philosophy.

    Now before abortion protests started, did we not see the deterioration of the American family? Did we miss how sex was overused to sell everything? Where were the protests for these because this is still happening today.

    We are depleting our resources, making animals that don’t belong to us extinct and using persevatives and additives in our foods that are slowly killing us. What’s our big cause again??

    The largest drug in America is not opiods, it’s sugar. Sugar is responsible for more degenerative diseases then anything else. Where are the protests?? Of all the “walks”, “races”, and “marathons” for cures, we haven’t cured a thing. Our health care system makes the majority of it’s money treating us instead of curing us and their prices are astronomical.

    Is it possible to have a cause of abortion, but not murder? Aren’t they the same thing. There are Christians in this country who are quick to protest abortion but won’t even speak of an unarmed Black man being murdered by police. We protest fur coats, but could care less about the treatment of pigs, chickens and cows.

    We would do well to check our causes so that when we protest (and I believe we should) we can be more productive with our solutions and actually make life easier for others. And above all else, we must avoid hypocrisy!

  • Happy appreciation day!

    Only part of the United States participates in this annual ritual known as Sweetest Day and I have been doing it wrong. Whereas Valentines Day is to celebrate romantic love, Sweetest Day is to appreciate all the folks in your life for who they are. Male or female doesn’t matter — it’s just a day of appreciation.

    Granted Hallmark gets excited when in comes around probably more than anyone else but in these tough times it’s good to take a day and evaluate relationships and appreciate them.

    I was reading an article about a woman who dropped her boyfriend off at Kroger and she stayed in the car. While she waited on him she took the opportunity to go through his phone only to discover he may have been having an inappropriate relationship with her sister.

    She was so enraged that she waited for him to come out of the store and she ran him over with the van — seriously injuring him and killing an innocent person walking out behind him. She then, stops the van, gets out and begins to attack her boyfriend while he is lying on the ground wounded.

    It appears as though she snapped and could not bear the information she discovered while invading his privacy. It is unclear if the sister was a minor or not but whatever she found, she was in that moment willing to give up or greatly alter her own life because of it. She, of course, is now facing a ton of charges and if convicted she will get life in prison.

    There are so many things wrong with this scenario. It is for this reason why we need to really evaluate the relationships we have to see if they are for better or for worse. To truly celebrate Sweetest Day we should first purge the toxic relationships and covet the really good ones. So here’s to all of you who are making this life better for others! The world would be nothing without you!

  • You always have a choice

    Choice is an act of decision making or selecting when faced with two or more possibilities. It’s given to everyone regardless of race, color, creed or gender. Even though there are powers that will attempt to destroy your choice, everyone still gets one.

    It seems as though the key to life would be to consistently make good decisions. Further, choice is one of those markers that reminds us that we are free.

    Our lives are filled with choices. We decide where to eat, live, work, play and sleep. We choose our mates and careers. We have a choice as to what gender to claim and what religion to believe.

    None of this is new information but it’s the backdrop to the real purpose of this blog and that is making bad decisions. Why is it that people make bad decisions or can’t see how illogical we can be at times. It seems that we struggle most with choices when our emotions are involved.

    Emotion tends to cloud our judgment and force us into seeing things as no-win scenarios. Then we make a flurry of bad decisions and next thing we know all hell has broken loose! We got pregnant, dropped out of school, started smoking, quit our jobs and stop going to church. We make decisions about our relationships that dig us into a hole and severe otherwise great friendships.

    Some would argue that we have too many choices. They believe that the bad choices say a lot about the development of our minds and that maybe we are not smart enough for all of these choices. With whatever stage of life you are in, it is important to make sound choices and count the cost before jumping feet first into an opportunity that sounds too good to be true.

    The worst part of bad decisions is the aftermath when you’re sitting in the mess you caused. It’s not rocket science. Choice should be logical and decisions should be rooted in common sense. And above all else, stay ahead of the learning curve.