ClydeStyle

Category: Confidence

  • Who’s rooting for you?

    The lyrics to the song “Don’t you worry bout a thing” by Stevie Wonder gives as the reason not to worry is that he would be standing on the side when you check it out!

    It’s a very comforting, feel-good song that he wrote in the 70s, but the message is still good, and it influences the question of this blog. Do you know your support network? Are you aware of the people who are for you?

    The New Year is here, and no one needs to take on the challenge of a new year without a support network. Football great, Tom Brady, in a recent interview, said that his success on every level was all about the people who came into his life at the right time. He said that he was able to take full advantage of his opportunities because of the support of others who wanted to see him succeed.

    We live in a dog eat dog environment. There are many folks who would claim to support you only later to prove they were not. People are jealous, envious, full of hate, and vindictive. Many folks are hurt, and as a cost of that hurt, they hurt others. Support is the difference in behavior.

    This year, give those watching something to see. Go hard at whatever task you want to accomplish and draw strength from your team who is on the sidelines routing for you. The new year represents more.

    More in 2024! More muscle, more hustle, more appreciation, more love, more success, and more celebration. You are in control of your own destiny, and as you succeed, don’t forget to look over at the sidelines and acknowledge your support!

  • These three words: I got you!

    In these troubled times in which we live, there are three words other than I love you that bring healing to the soul, warmth to the heart, and comfort to the mind and that is the words: I got you!

    It’s so simple, yet very meaningful and like the phrase “I love you”, “I got you” has to be used only when you mean it! We are not talking just good intentions here folks. I got you should always be spoken with great confidence and an assurance by the user that heaven and earth will pass away but these words will linger.

    All good dads have this phrase locked and loaded for their families. There is nothing like the securer of the house giving the smackdown on trouble by letting the offspring know this phrase is for them.

    The love of a good mother begins with this phrase. Moms are known for making the impossible happen and coming through in a pinch! Even in the animal kingdom, the female of the species wears the phrase like a budget. Just try to take a lion cub from his mom.

    You can learn a lot about the character of a person by how careful they are with this phrase. This world needs many more people who can open up a can of “I got you” and produce a meal that heals.

    Honor the people in your life who live by this phase and if you find your present company lacking, just know that you deserve better!

  • Finding YOUR spot in this world

    One of the most fulfilling things in life is to know your place. To know where you fit in life and actually be doing something that builds your self worth is something everyone would want but few actually achieve.

    Opportunity has been covered in red tape and there are so many hoops to jump through that many people give up on chasing their dreams. It is as if our government wanted to keep people from achievement. It seems as if the rich have a hold on making the real money and instead of skill and ingenuity creating opportunities, who you know makes all the difference.

    The decision needs to first be made as to the thing that matters most: To seek fame or fortune; to have influence and power; or to make life easier or better for others. Other decisions like whether or not to go to college, start in the military or learn a trade are key. A person can succeed doing either of the three.

    Then understanding what moves you and what makes you feel alive. I’ve always asked myself the question is it a job that I would do for free. Then finally you have to make it work. And on the way to completing this task you learn many things about who you are and what you are made of. You learn your passions and your fears. You learn how you respond in problem solving and the things that frustrated you the most.

    Above all else you have to master the learning curve to secure your space under the sun. There really is enough world for all of us. You just have to carve out your own slice! Happy cutting!

  • I’m baaaack!

    Yes. The headline is true. I have started writing again. I’m older, wiser and I have lived. I’m been through comedy and tragedy and I’m now back to share the experiences. Some of the experience will be spiritual and others will feel like therapy but it’s all being done to build you up and give thought-provoking commentary.

    There are more books in the works as well as a podcast. I am even working on an R&B band and a cooking channel. I am praying that these things will be a blessing to all.

    So for my first blog back I just want to share a bit about judging others. It seems that we are extremely hypocritical about this category because everyone has an opinion, but that only seems to apply when YOU are giving the commentary. It doesn’t feel so good when it flows the other way. The problem with judging is that it allows us to elevate our own sense of self-worth over another. What gives you the right to judge? It’s because I feel I have something very important to say … because I am that important. It seems that instead of the bias commentary, we ought to be engaged in helping.

    The bible says it this way: “If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.”
    Galatians 6:3 NLT
    https://bible.com/bible/116/gal.6.3.NLT

    The point here is that since we have the energy to burn, why not use it to build someone up instead of tearing them down.

  • Who’s journey is it anyway?

    A journey is a voyage or the act of traveling or working. The word is used as both the noun and the verb so this word is quite descriptive.

    So discovering your journey or living out your journey is to move us from one place to another. We can go from being clumsy to graceful. We can go from ignorant to enlightened or we can just go from Albany to Buffalo — either way we are moving with a purpose.

    Now comes the New Year and we reflect of the past journey as a gage for how the new journey in the new year will proceed. We make plans, research, and plot a course for success. We make no room for life to happen on our journey. So we are easily derailed by death or the loss of something. Health challenges and relationship changes effect our journey in a mighty way.

    The ultimate question is how do we know if we’re doing what we were meant to do? I mean if life can so easily beset us, does that mean that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing unless tragedy strikes and then I’m excused?

    I believe the key is forward motion. In life we need to be constantly moving forward. The pace may change due to life’s challenges but forward is the constant, not a variable. Then the meaning of life is simple: How many hits can you take and keep moving forward? We are in pursuit of our destiny and when you make it from one year to the next it’s a blessing.

    You made the cut and you get to advance another year. Make the most of the year. It goes by so fast and when we realize the speed we’re traveling, summer is almost over. Strive to be the best version of yourself as you tackle life. You want to grab all that you can as you move forward. The gratitude and celebration is in the moving or how you negotiate the journey. Be strong and enjoy the ride!

  • Too much wind for ya??

    Too much wind for ya??

    It has been a while since I expounded on God’s word so I would like to share Matt. 14:23-33.

    In this passage of scripture, Jesus was with a multitude and once he sent them away he went up on the mountain to pray alone. By the time he had finished it was getting late and the ship where his disciples were was in the midst of the sea being tossed around about by the waves and the wind.

    Jesus comes toward them walking on the sea (yes, he was actually walking on the sea as if there was a makeshift walkway) and his disciples saw him and were afraid as they thought he was a ghost. The savior calls out to them to let them know it was him.

    Astonished, Peter was the brave soul to take it a step forward when he asked for proof that it was in fact Jesus. His proof was that Jesus would allow for him to walk on water and meet him. The creator granted Peter’s request and here is where we get the meat for this story.

    Verse 30 says that the wind was boisterous. That means it was loud and forceful, but this is something the text says Peter saw, not heard. Peter first saw Jesus walking on water and he was afraid. He also “saw” the wind boisterous and was afraid.

    Which do you think scared him the most?

    The assumption here is that when he saw Jesus and realized that it truly was him, he wanted to do what Jesus was doing. And he actually did walk on water.

    But the wind’s actions were accompanied by force and it stood in opposition of what Peter wanted to do, Peter backed down because he felt he was no match for the wind. He knew that the force of the wind was far greater than he was. When he began to sink he cried for Jesus to save him and immediately the text says He did but asked Peter why did he doubt.

    The lesson: The wind represents everything that is against us here from trials and tribulations to sin. Jesus is still Jesus in this lesson and Peter represents us. Jesus did not save Peter because they were good friends. In fact, any of the disciples could have done what Peter did. Peter just happened to be the one bold enough to ask. The assumption is that if you asked the question, the answer should have produced faith. In other words, Peter said Lord if it is you, then let me come to you. By the fact that Peter was able to come meant that it was in fact Jesus and now your faith will be made perfect in your work (walking on water).

    Am I going too fast?

    Faith without works is dead. Peter’s question was answered and he began through the work to demonstrate his faith, but the wind (trial) was too much. And even though Peter did nothing to earn his salvation, Jesus saved him anyhow. Why? Because he is God and that’s the business he is in.

    Dear reader, do you believe that God will save you? Have you come to him in obedience to his will and allowed your faith to grow through your works?

    Or is there just too much wind???

  • The psychology of disappointment

    The psychology of disappointment

    So you had an expectation of something — that’s how it starts. Then you feel that you deserve that expectations fulfillment. Excitement follows. Expectation grows and an adrenaline rush ensues.

    Then suddenly something unexpected, uncontrollable or undeserving happens and all you were left with is disappointment.

    Disappointment is hard to swallow. It doesn’t go down easy. It causes heartaches.

    Chasing disappointment is anger. Anger allows the feeling of disappointment to linger. The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment. You can experience periods of sadness, depression and resentment.

    It’s as if disappointment laughs at you. It calls out to you saying, “who told you to have expectations?” Disappointment burns.

    To protect ourselves we need to stop having expectations for anyone but ourselves. The likelihood of you letting down yourself should be less.

    Do yourself a favor and don’t desire something to a level that leads to greater expectation and possible disappointment. Your emotional orientation takes a hard hit everytime you do.

  • How hungry are you?

    How hungry are you?

    When we think of hunger, we think in terms of the absence of food. But being hungry can actually represent any phase of your life where you are trying to advance.

    You can be hungry for success, hungry for wealth, hungry for relationships or hungry for the sake of hunger. It is interesting the factors that decide whether we stay hungry or not. Fighters who are successful and have gotten comfortable with the title, often fight against success.

    Let me be clear: On the way to the title, a fighter would eat, drink and sleep that title. They would dream of what it would be like to taste victory. But once obtained a fighter needs to work harder at keeping that title because there is normally 9 or 10 other contenders who have never tasted the title and that becomes their fuel.

    In business as you climb the corporate ladder there are colleagues coming behind you that want your spot. You just got it and they are hungry for it. There is always someone coveting your position.

    But I really want to focus on what makes us stop. What are the things that make us not reach the goal? You see, success can do that to you, but failure can too. When you have failed 9, 19, 29, 39 times, it’s hard to make that additional attempt because too much of your past says you can’t do it.

    Further, we can actually be our own worst enemy with this. We get worried and start to doubt our own ability. Then the voice inside of you that is supposed to be “for” you ends up saying and causing the worst damage. You will hear yourself say, “you are out of your league.” “You can’t do that!” “Who do you think you are?”

    Sadly, we don’t need folks from the outside to “stick it to us”, we do it ourselves. What goals have you abandoned because you just were not hungry enough? What are you missing out on right now because you did not follow through or you just gave up? What areas of your life are not fulfilled because you didn’t fulfill it?

    It is never too late. You need to empty yourself of the impurities that are making it difficult for you to eat and regain your hunger! You started the journey and your destination is not as far as you think. You owe it to yourself to get there. You can do it!

  • Failed expectations

    Failed expectations

    There are people in this world that imitate animals. You have the Alpha Male who figures the Lion. Gentle giant men have the image of the grizzly bear and then there are the people who love to act like snakes, rats or chameleons. These are the people who have no problem betraying others. There is no level of consciousness that is disturbed by their distrust.

    Betrayal comes from expectations that are not met. It’s the breaking on trust and the vengeance from misunderstanding.

    In Greek Mythology Jason was with Medea and they had kids together and everything. All of a sudden he decides to leave her with the kids stating that they were not married anyway. Jason was off to marry a local king’s daughter. To pay him back Medea kills the kids.

    Benedict Arnold fought side by side with George Washington and had his trust. He was considered a trusted soldier and friend to Washington until he defected to the British in 1780. Arnold went down in history as a symbol of betrayal.

    The question this blog asks is how does it feel to betray someone? How does it feel in your heart? How does it feel just before the betrayal is realized? How do you live with yourself? What kind of person do you have to be to overcome the negative feelings of betrayal? What will your conscious allow?

    It’s clear that your spirit has to settle into being a rat or a snake, but is there any coming back from that? Mr. Arnold would probably tell you no, there is no coming back. The anger towards those that betray always seems to be met with death — whether that be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Hopefully, we can avoid this concept and realize the opposite is greater. Let loyalty ring!

  • Happy birthday to me

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    Today I turn 49 years old. It is hard to believe that when I was 16 years old I did not think I would make it to age 30. It was because there were gangs in Detroit and Black males between the ages of 18 and 34 were killing each other or going to jail.

    So, I made it…and some. I have learned so much between the ages of 16 and 32 and now 32 to 49 I believe that I have arrived in a few areas and I would like to share.

    image

    First, I am thoroughly convinced that I am overall a good person and I love me unconditionally. I make mistakes, I am flawed, I still carry a level of inmaturity and I’m OK with all of that. I love being me and I would not trade that for the world.

    Second, I do not have or own anything that I am not willing to part with. Understand what I am saying, all material things serve as my enjoyment, but I can give them up in a heartbeat. Furthermore, my “status” in life does not define me. I am a pastor, author, business owner, psychotherapist and family man and if it all ended today it would be well with my soul. The reason is because I understand that all of these things came with an expiration date. If my bible study is correct, my real treasure is in heaven.

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    The last thing I will share is that I am most proud of this truth: I am my own man. I am free to do as I please and I chose to serve Jesus the Christ. I understand that whatever I set my mind to do, I can do it. I am not loyal to any earthly group and my belief and ideas are not shared or pressured with a common interest. I am a driver. I make things happen and I fix things. I have many items available to help in my tool belt and I am an agent of change. I am a healer.

    So as I celebrate the day of my birth, I thank all who thought to give me a shout or post something on social media. I am praying for continued growth, health and strength but most importantly that I can always live with the person I see in the mirror. Thank you God that I am not a sellout and I understand that I have been purchased already and my soul is not for sale. More on this in 364 days!