ClydeStyle

Category: Forgiveness

  • You don’t need an apology

    Forgiveness is a concept that our country isn’t too keen on as we are definitely people for revenge. Whenever someone’s crime upsets our social norm, we want blood.

    Mass shooters, pedophiles, rapists, bad police officers, repeat offenders, men who hit women, or anyone who is against the LGBTQ community are all subject to revenge following their miscues. But in actuality, forgiveness doesn’t require an apology. Of course, it would be nice to have one, but it is not required. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the infraction as much as it has to do with you making a decision.

    Forgiveness is a choice. It is frivolous to measure sins or even label them from bad to worse. Forgiveness involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. Why would you do that? Because hate in your heart consumes. It burns like fire.

    There are 3 types of forgiveness: 1) Exoneration where a person genuinely makes a mistake; 2) Forbearance where the person gives a partial apology, but the offense did not call for a more extreme level; 3) Release where there is no acknowledgement of hurt. The person never even took responsibility for the pain they caused. So which one do you think God would want you to exercise? Here is a hint: God would want you to practice the one you need.

    I don’t know about you, but I need to practice release because that is the one I need from God. The Greek word for forgiveness in scripture literally means “to let go,” and the context is the act of pardoning an offender.

    So, if I am to practice forgiveness from the Bible, it must be the one I expect from God because the scriptures tell us that God is going to forgive the same way we do. Now, who needs an apology?

  • Getting your God complex under control

    We all have this inner God complex. It’s where we get some of our best ideas, it’s where our compassion grows, it’s where forgiveness begins and it’s where our unconditional love comes from. With this complex, when things are going well, we achieve and flourish in various areas. We create, lead, influence, edify and develop ideas. When things are at their worst, we tend to lack forgiveness for ourselves.

    We being to accept blame, sometimes too much blame because in our complex we think we should have known, seen, anticipated, figured out or controlled people, places and things — and that’s impossible.

    The feeling is amplified when other people are injured by our actions. It happens. What should take place is that we should release all negativity, deal with the facts and be reflective about moving forward. Learn the lessons and forgive yourself. We need to begin to see the truth about these ill- feelings.

    God doesn’t want us punishing ourselves because something fell through the cracks or we proved that we are not perfect. I started out calling it a God complex because when something happens some of us will take full responsibility as if we were God and could control everything.

    Nobody is perfect. Most people who dare to lead want to do their best. It doesn’t always happen like that and you need to forgive yourself. Now! And move forward a better person!

  • Western civilization is overrun by fear

    President Franklin Roosevelt said that there is nothing to fear, but fear itself. I’m here to tell you that fear itself is more than enough.

    Before bias there was fear. Before racism there was fear. Before we began to blame each other, there was fear and before my hate crime, there was fear.

    Fear has been the catalyst for misunderstanding, anxiety, false narratives, fake news and all the name calling we hear out of Washingron DC.

    Fear makes everything worse. During Roosevelt’s time America was afraid of the struggling economy and began pulling their funds out of the banks which made the problem worse. Roosevelt was basically telling America that it was their fear that was fueling their behavior and that it is making an already troubled economy worse.

    Fear has always been at the scene of every crime that kills unity and drives us further apart. As a country we are divided and that is because we fear what we don’t know of each other. Our anxiety is escalated because we believe the “other” person has ill feelings toward us.

    When generations fear something it invites the cancer (fear) into every new community to come afterwards and then they repeat the mistakes of the previous group.

    History continues to warn us through cycle after cycle and then it repeats. We’re still stumbling over the same parts. What’s wrong with us?!?

    We are afraid.

    There is no massive fix for this. The solution is individual and each American is called to answer the same question: What are we afraid of?

    I must deal with my own fears. I must be the director of my path and not allow the person God made me to be controlled by what I can’t see. We are a nation under God who is afraid. That should be an oxymoron, but instead it’s truth.

    Will you take responsibility for your own fear?

  • Too much wind for ya??

    Too much wind for ya??

    It has been a while since I expounded on God’s word so I would like to share Matt. 14:23-33.

    In this passage of scripture, Jesus was with a multitude and once he sent them away he went up on the mountain to pray alone. By the time he had finished it was getting late and the ship where his disciples were was in the midst of the sea being tossed around about by the waves and the wind.

    Jesus comes toward them walking on the sea (yes, he was actually walking on the sea as if there was a makeshift walkway) and his disciples saw him and were afraid as they thought he was a ghost. The savior calls out to them to let them know it was him.

    Astonished, Peter was the brave soul to take it a step forward when he asked for proof that it was in fact Jesus. His proof was that Jesus would allow for him to walk on water and meet him. The creator granted Peter’s request and here is where we get the meat for this story.

    Verse 30 says that the wind was boisterous. That means it was loud and forceful, but this is something the text says Peter saw, not heard. Peter first saw Jesus walking on water and he was afraid. He also “saw” the wind boisterous and was afraid.

    Which do you think scared him the most?

    The assumption here is that when he saw Jesus and realized that it truly was him, he wanted to do what Jesus was doing. And he actually did walk on water.

    But the wind’s actions were accompanied by force and it stood in opposition of what Peter wanted to do, Peter backed down because he felt he was no match for the wind. He knew that the force of the wind was far greater than he was. When he began to sink he cried for Jesus to save him and immediately the text says He did but asked Peter why did he doubt.

    The lesson: The wind represents everything that is against us here from trials and tribulations to sin. Jesus is still Jesus in this lesson and Peter represents us. Jesus did not save Peter because they were good friends. In fact, any of the disciples could have done what Peter did. Peter just happened to be the one bold enough to ask. The assumption is that if you asked the question, the answer should have produced faith. In other words, Peter said Lord if it is you, then let me come to you. By the fact that Peter was able to come meant that it was in fact Jesus and now your faith will be made perfect in your work (walking on water).

    Am I going too fast?

    Faith without works is dead. Peter’s question was answered and he began through the work to demonstrate his faith, but the wind (trial) was too much. And even though Peter did nothing to earn his salvation, Jesus saved him anyhow. Why? Because he is God and that’s the business he is in.

    Dear reader, do you believe that God will save you? Have you come to him in obedience to his will and allowed your faith to grow through your works?

    Or is there just too much wind???

  • Being mentally aware of mental poverty

    Being mentally aware of mental poverty

    When we think of poverty it normally is in the context of finance and we consider people who have no wealth as poor. But poverty comes in many forms and this blog will touch on one of them: Mental poverty.

    This means simply that your thinking is not right. Your thinking violates social norms that make your actions stick out like a sore thumb.

    Do you know somebody who just seems to look at situations different than most? I don’t mean different in a good way, I mean you hear some of the things they say and you hope no one else hears it.

    With this type of thinking it makes it difficult to recognize fairness, justice, compromise or forgiveness. There seems to be a disconnect with logic and understanding. At first glance people would say the person must be crazy. But in a larger sense this thinking is more common than you think.

    In many cases it is the result of wounds that have not healed and the pain is so traumatic with the individual that revenge is the only word they can think about with clarity.

    You see, when you have been wronged repeatedly with no resolve your mental faculties become impaired. Your thinking gets stuck on resolutions. With every future situation that requires thinking, the individual struggles with negotiating righteousness.

    Please understand that this is not an excuse. It is just what is. The solution is so easy that we overthink and never get over some of our mental anguish.

    The solution is to forgive what has happened to you. Forbear your perpetrators and deal with them going forward with the lessons you have learned from dealing with them in the past.

    Considering that the Lord above has laid claim to revenge anyway, your best move is to heal yourself.

    Now that you are aware, you know that arguing with a person who struggles with mental health issues will always struggle with logic so when you get into a shouting match with this person, what is your endgame?

    When you continue to repeat the same argument over and over again, how do you think it looks to the sane?

    Awareness of mental challenges is half our battle. Now you just need to not engage.

  • The psychology of disappointment

    The psychology of disappointment

    So you had an expectation of something — that’s how it starts. Then you feel that you deserve that expectations fulfillment. Excitement follows. Expectation grows and an adrenaline rush ensues.

    Then suddenly something unexpected, uncontrollable or undeserving happens and all you were left with is disappointment.

    Disappointment is hard to swallow. It doesn’t go down easy. It causes heartaches.

    Chasing disappointment is anger. Anger allows the feeling of disappointment to linger. The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment. You can experience periods of sadness, depression and resentment.

    It’s as if disappointment laughs at you. It calls out to you saying, “who told you to have expectations?” Disappointment burns.

    To protect ourselves we need to stop having expectations for anyone but ourselves. The likelihood of you letting down yourself should be less.

    Do yourself a favor and don’t desire something to a level that leads to greater expectation and possible disappointment. Your emotional orientation takes a hard hit everytime you do.

  • Failed expectations

    Failed expectations

    There are people in this world that imitate animals. You have the Alpha Male who figures the Lion. Gentle giant men have the image of the grizzly bear and then there are the people who love to act like snakes, rats or chameleons. These are the people who have no problem betraying others. There is no level of consciousness that is disturbed by their distrust.

    Betrayal comes from expectations that are not met. It’s the breaking on trust and the vengeance from misunderstanding.

    In Greek Mythology Jason was with Medea and they had kids together and everything. All of a sudden he decides to leave her with the kids stating that they were not married anyway. Jason was off to marry a local king’s daughter. To pay him back Medea kills the kids.

    Benedict Arnold fought side by side with George Washington and had his trust. He was considered a trusted soldier and friend to Washington until he defected to the British in 1780. Arnold went down in history as a symbol of betrayal.

    The question this blog asks is how does it feel to betray someone? How does it feel in your heart? How does it feel just before the betrayal is realized? How do you live with yourself? What kind of person do you have to be to overcome the negative feelings of betrayal? What will your conscious allow?

    It’s clear that your spirit has to settle into being a rat or a snake, but is there any coming back from that? Mr. Arnold would probably tell you no, there is no coming back. The anger towards those that betray always seems to be met with death — whether that be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Hopefully, we can avoid this concept and realize the opposite is greater. Let loyalty ring!

  • Is it really yours?

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    You know the old saying that if you let something go and if it comes back to you, then it truly belongs to you? I just wonder how practical the application of this saying would be today. I mean, I think that some of us may have taken for granted the people in our lives. Sometimes it’s easy to forget the importance of people under our jursidiction and we really need a wake up call.

    So imagine if you are the boss over a company or you are managing several employees, do you think that if they were released and given another job making the same money, they would stay with you? In the business world we believe sometimes that people get trapped and they don’t have choices. Are we taking advantage of them and treating them horribly because we can? As a leader are you making the environment your employees work in beneficial to them so that they can do the best job possible? Or have you made the place so in your favor that your colleagues hate the company and you? It should not take an episode of “Undercover Bosses” to make you do the right thing. The highest boss is watching and you will have to answer to him.
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    Let’s take this a step further and look at the family because I wonder how many children would stay with their same parents. For those of you with children, do you believe that your offspring would gladly stay with you if they had another opportunity. I’m not talking about riches or a bigger house, I’m speaking pound for pound, comparing apples to apples, given a choice would your children stay with you? That’s a hard question for some and not meant to ruin anyone’s week, but we need to take a step back sometimes and see if what we think we are accomplishing is good and for the betterment of the people God has placed us over.

    Now for the finale, when you look at your marriage do you believe your spouse would come back to you if he or she had the option to leave with no strings attached? Think before you answer. Do you make your spouse feel that he or she is the perfect match for you? Do they feel God’s full blessing being with you or would they rather be single? Is this even something you can talk about? Has chasing after success in life or bitterness or past failures turned you into an asshole? Don’t look at me, I didn’t say it your spouse may have! I just want you to take an honest look at your situation.
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    Life is too short to spend the rest of it with someone who repels you. So before they sneak and talk to an attorney about their options, wouldn’t it be more cost effective for you to have that “come to Jesus talk” with them and say you’re sorry and you want to be better? If you really and truly love the person you are with, you owe it too yourself and your spouse a true confession and a heartfelt apology. Then you would spend your life prioritizing things in order of importance and you would begin with your relationship.

    Don’t listen to the voice in your head that says this task is too much. It is just what your relationship needs. Be the leader you claim you are and lead in this effort to make your life better.

  • It’s time for a Crusade for Christ

    It’s time for a Crusade for Christ

    resurrection-website-imageFor more than 2000 years the gospel of Jesus Christ has been preached to this dying world.

    Unfortunately we have preached more of the facts of the gospel, than the application of that gospel. I mean, Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection is very important to know but if it is given without context, where is the power?

    We are saved by grace through faith and the bible calls this a gift that no man can take credit. (Eph. 2:8). Moreover, the fact that it is Jesus’ blood that reconciles me to the father and his life that actually saves me (Rom. 5:10) is just the beginning. How this all works together is the crux of the matter and ultimately redefines who I am and my purpose.

    To make his gospel come alive, you must believe that it was an act of love on your behalf. Does it matter that Jesus died for you? Does it matter enough for you to die (crucify the old me) for him?

    Further, if I say I know and believe in Jesus, does the life I live say the same thing? This is why we need a crusade. We need to be reminded of the facts of his gospel. We need a call back to the original commission to share the gospel with the rest of the world. It’s time to reveal the hope of our calling and surrender God’s truth without apology.

    If you are anywhere near San Antonio, TX over the next 6 days, stop by the Hyatt Regency Hotel downtown and experience God’s love toward us. Come and hear the story of Jesus presented in a bold and loving way. Come and hear that in the midst of our struggle is when Christ died for us! Come and sing praise to his name because he made it easy for souls in danger. All these souls have to do is look above because Jesus completely saves!

  • Is your church a placebo?

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    So we know that the church is the body of Christ and Christ’s kingdom here on earth.

    He reigns supreme in this gathering of believers. Some might call it cultish due to the unfeigned faith each member has for the king.

    Throughout the New Testament one can find many examples of how the body of Christ functions and relates to head of the body. And from here its even easier to see how the relationship with the head effects the horizontal relationships throughout the membership.

    So, things like service, forgiveness, unconditional love, faithfulness, compassion, truth and longsuffering should abound in such places. There is a definite togetherness and sense of having all things in common among the believers. Judgement has no place here, only encouragement to be the best you can be and assistance when you stumble.

    A placebo is a measure designed merely to calm, please or pacify another. It is more for a psychological benefit than for any spiritual effect. A placebo church only exists as a method to control. It is only a form of godliness, but it denies the power there of.

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    The largest problem with this type of church is there is no spiritual growth, there is no support, there is no fellowship and there is no forgiveness. When trouble comes you are on your own. When Satan attacks you are judged instead of helped.

    You stay in this system because it looks right, but it is far from righteousness. So I ask you this day: Is your church a placebo and more importantly why are you still there?