ClydeStyle

Category: Happiness

  • A reason to be outraged?

    May 9, 2012 will be a day that goes down in history as another advancement in civil rights.

    President Barack Obama gave his personal feelings regarding same-sex unions. Before doing this, his administration has already done many things for gays and lesbians in regards to their civil rights. In addition, he has done quite a bit in his presidency for minorities and the disenfranchised.

    With that said, we need to remember the separation of church and state. Too many religious people will attempt to make this an issue for the church — it is not.

    What we can’t do here is forget what our constitution says regarding equal rights. If you believe in the fabric of what our forefathers wrote about “one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”, and if you believe in the Holy Bible and you understand the teaching of free will and judgement day, you should be very understanding of the events of the day.

    Why you ask? Because no one I know voted for Obama because of his religious beliefs. I hope that no one has wasted a vote on any politician based on his spirituality.

    What you should have done is voted based on the political views they claimed and their ability to get those things done.

    But you don’t need me to tell you why you should vote. Instead, let me just remind you of God’s word.

    There are many people who believe in trying to do God’s job. You see, God never invited us to His judgement seat. God invited us to the love seat; forgiveness seat; and benevolent seat. These are the things that Christians do.

    We need to uphold free will — hand in hand with democracy! We need to make sure that we don’t create a scenario that backfires on us. How can I decide a choice for someone when I don’t want anyone to make choices for me?

    In this country, there are many organizations (like the KKK) that I don’t agree with. I don’t even think they should exist. And despite the evil things done in their history I believe in their right to exist. Why? Because I’m a Christian and I’m an American. As a Christian I know what the bible says and I know who has the final say. I know who will judge the quick and the dead and I’m comfortable with His judgement.

    As an American, my constitution is the standard and we have a history of being hypocrites. Just as other great Americans have done, I feel duty bound to speak up for the rights our troops are defending. People have the right to love and be with who they want. Whether I agree with it or not, they still have that right.

    We need to make sure that we are not trying to hide bigotry behind the cross!

  • Smelling the roses

    The latest census says that those who are 85 and older are now the fastest growing population. We could learn much from these aged pill takers.

    I recently had the pleasure of talking with a few of them and in no particular order, these are the top 10 things I learned:

    1) Wake up with the sun. Too many young folks sleep the day away and are unproductive. Wake up with a purpose and enjoy the sunrise.

    2) Read twice as much as you watch TV.

    3) Deny yourself and save money.

    4) Eat healthy so that you can enjoy your golden years.

    5) Get plenty of sleep.

    6) Drink plenty of water.

    7) Get plenty of exercise.

    8) Control your use of technology; don’t let technology control you.

    9) Enjoy family.

    10) Practice loving everybody.

    I wonder what it would be like if we spent 2012 with these 10 suggestions?

    They all seem so obvious, but why don’t we do them? Who wants to wait for a degenerative disease to happen before we begin to take care of ourselves.

    This age group is far more conservative, morally intellectual, far more cultural and more responsible than the generations after them.

    Let’s accept the lessons and the responsibility that follows. If not, we might not have any roses to smell.

  • Spring Forward

    One way to look at this weekend is to say that we have lost an hour or we had to repay the hour we stole in the fall.

    Benjamin Franklin came up with this idea of manipulating time in order to have more daylight. The point was it would give us another hour of light for productivity.

    We’re using the light, but the productivity part is questionable.

    I would like to borrow Ben’s concept of “springing forward” to make a point. Many are suffer with and from a troubled past. If we are not constantly reminding ourselves about what we’ve done wrong, there’s always someone else ready to take this job over for us.

    We are unable to move forward because we are stuck in the past. It’s hard to move ahead when you’re constantly looking back. We all need to consider the idea of “springing forward” to a better place than where we are today. To not be complacent or content with mediocrity, but be the best we can be.

    The Apostle Paul instructs us this way: “… forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:13,14).

    This is our springing forward! This is our time to let go of bad things from the past and press toward the mark today.

    Don’t allow the circumstances of the past to dictate what your future looks like.

    Spring forward my friend!

  • How about your life?

    Are you enjoying life?

    This is a simple “yes” or “no” question that you should be able to answer immediately.

    This question is so relevant to the perspective of the person answering. We could assume that a six year old who got everything he wanted for Christmas would probably answer in the affirmative. While a family living in their mini van because a bank took their home of 22 years and sold it for less than half of what they owed may simply answer this question with a look — a look of disgust, a look of betrayal and a look of hopelessness.

    We as a country were once proud to say we were the land of the free and the home of the brave. We bragged about how our ancestors migrated here in search of a better life. Many have benefited for what those ancestors accomplished.

    We became spoiled with all of the benefits most of us had. Then we went from spoiled to arrogant. Some began to acted like they created the benefits instead of just merely being a recipient of them.

    Some got greedy and now spend their days trying to make it difficult for others to come here seeking a better life. And all of that negative energy makes life enjoyable for no one.

    For the little kid who takes his ball and heads home from the playground angry because he didn’t get his way, he will only be sad to get home and find there is no one to play with. The folks he left at the playground are without a ball now, so they can’t play either.

    No one wins in this scenario. Not the playground dwellers nor the ball keeper.

    It seems that the ancestors knew how to play ball and get along with everyone on the playground. When more people came to play, they created more playground equipment and more games and everyone enjoyed.

    Now, there is only a small percent of ball keepers with attitudes and a host of playground dwellers who are hopeless. There is nothing being created so there’s no growth and no one is happy.

    It is not what we have or have acquired that makes us happy for happiness is much deeper than that. What we do, even the decisions we make and how we feel about the results of those decisions are the real source of happiness and will lead to an enjoyable life.

    So if you spent your time screwing people over for a profit or getting ahead on the backs of others, that may make you rich, but you’re no where near happiness for happiness cannot be acquired this way.

    But if you are spending this life enhancing the lives of the people around you, making a positive difference in the area you dwell and taking advantage of the opportunities God places before you, I already know how you would answer the opening question. Those around you know how you would answer. Now we have to reach those who still haven’t gotten it.

  • Another year

    It seems that the older we get, the faster the years go by.

    We were just ushering in 2011 and now it’s over. The end of the year becomes a time where we are able to reflect on the things that happened and make changes if needed.

    It’s a time where we should be deciding to end bad relationships because the year has revealed to us that there is no benefit in them.

    It’s time to take control over the things that this year has shown us are out of control.

    It’s time to rededicate our lives to the people who matter the most to us.

    It’s time to talk to God about purpose, plan and repentance.

    It’s time for us to make sure that we don’t miss out on the real important things in life because we’re too busy chasing the superficial things.

    Don’t let 2012 come and go without you experiencing the things that matter most. Make sure you seize every moment to love someone, admire things God created like sunsets and rainbows and mentor someone that needs you — what God has hidden in these types of relationships make life worth living.

    And finally, do the best you can to eliminate stress, the Western culture diet and revenge out of your life. All three of these things can kill you.

    Lord thank you for allowing us to see another year. Grant us the courage to make the most of it and honor and glorify your name in it.Amen!

    Happy New Year my friends!

  • Your love of tennis means nothing

    It seems in these trying times we live in that it is getting more difficult to navigate our relationships. One would think that we all needed therapy as sometimes it seems that we can’t do anything right.

    Either we are not working together or we’re going in two different directions. Or we are being to critical or not critical enough. We are too self-fish, too demanding, too righteous, too lazy … well you get the picture. I want to share a concept with you that may shine some light on how we are supposed to get along and how we can gravitate toward the positive and benefit both parties — and we do this with tennis.

    Now I’m not asking you to go play or watch tennis. What I want to do is borrow a few concepts to make a point.Imagine your troubled relationship as a doubles team in tennis. To play doubles in tennis you have to know a little bit about the strengths and weaknesses of your partner. Not only do you have to know them, but you have to use their strengths and protect their weakness. Did you catch that? I said you must use their strengths and protect their weaknesses.

    Some tennis players are slow moving to their weak side. Others might have a strong right hand, but a horrible back hand. When you learn these weaknesses and strengths you are able to set up your partner in a way that they are going to look like a pro. So if my partner is not as strong going to her left, guess who will play on her left side? You got it. Now, if I don’t play on her left side once I figure out that this is a weakness for her, shame on me!

    If my partner has a strong right hand, then my job when I serve is to place the ball so that when it returns, it comes to her right side. Of course, it’s impossible to make this happen every single time, but you can manipulate that serve enough that it happens more than enough to win.

    Why would I want to do that you ask? Well if I view my partner as truly being my partner, I have her best interest in mind. If you are not sure of this, you need to have a heart-to-heart with your partner and see if she or he feels that you hold their best interest. What a wonderful opportunity life provides if the significant other feels that you don’t have their best interest. Take this challenge and honor your mate by letting him or her know that you admire their strengths and you promise to protect their weaknesses. Humility will make them say it back to you. Where as love means absolutely nothing in tennis, it means everything in true relationships.

    Tennis anyone?

  • The whole equals the sum of it’s parts?

    In some instances the whole does equal the sum of it’s parts. But there are other instances when the whole is either greater or less than the sum of it’s parts. Why does this matter, you ask? Well, to fully understand the scope of any relationship it’s important to know what each participant in the relationship believes about the whole.

    Aristotle is first credited with saying the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts. In theories of proximity the whole is equal to the sum. In relativity, Einstein is credited for saying the whole is less than the sum of it’s parts. His logic was that the sums are greater by themselves than they are with a whole. Think for instance about the Miami Heat. LeBron James makes less money being one of the stars as opposed to being “the” star. As an individual he is worth more than he is playing with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh.

    So when it comes to relationships, there are some people who believe that the whole is greater than the sum. There are others who believe that the whole and the parts are equal. And still others who think that the whole is far less than the sum of the parts. If you are in a fulfilling relationship then it makes sense for you to believe that the whole is bigger than the sum of the parts because you and your mate both contribute to the relationship and sacrifice to make it work — for the greater good (the whole).

    Someone in a not so good relationship may feel that the whole is not worth the parts. Many who have gotten divorced have already arrived at this conclusion. If you have a lazy partner, or one who does not handle his or her business affairs properly, it makes it difficult to keep focused on the big picture (the whole). If you are the one that handles everything, makes all the money, takes responsibility, manages all the problems and you view your partner as simply another mouth to feed, then your whole is definitely less than.

    If you have recovered from a bad relationship and are on the rebound, you are now looking for balance in your life and relationships. You now begin to search for a relationship that will be equal to the sum of it’s parts. This new relationship is where the parts are “equally yolked” and you see your partner as an equal partner working in concert with you. You two are like-minded in thought and action and you share the same values.

    We find ourselves in various types of relationships. Right or wrong should be determined by the views of both parties in the relationship. If you are struggling in a relationship, I encourage you to seek counseling. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED CAN BE FIXED, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO FIX IT. All fixes take time. And if you both have a desire to allow the whole to be greater than the sum of it’s parts, then commit to making it work and seek professional help now.

  • Part 2: Unconditional Love???

    In the Bible, the Apostle Paul made a really big deal about the gift of love. He says:

    “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”

    Whenever I have heard this passage (1 Corinthians 13:1-8) taught, it’s used as an absolute definition. I believe that the intent of this passage is to give you the results of practicing unconditional love, not simply define it.

    Unconditional love has nothing to do with the person being loved. It has everything to do with the person who is giving the love. Unconditional love seems to refine the giver. We dwell on the benefits to the receiver, but the giver of unconditional love benefits the more.

    Let’s say that I have an anger problem, but I choose to love unconditionally. As my anger is kindled, I am faced with the choice of whether to honor unconditional love or follow my anger. If I allow love in, it will not only conquer my anger, but solve the reason why I am angry in the first place.

    Or say that I am faced with a person who has the reputation of being incapable of love, what are my choices? I could choose to stay away from that person which is what most would choose, or I could choose love. Now, this doesn’t mean that we allow people to run over us. It means that we will love them enough to do what others would not and that includes telling them what they really need to hear instead of enabling their behavior.

    When you truly love someone, you don’t give up on them. This is why God said, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” When you truly love someone, when they are at their weakest, you are the strongest. This is why it was “while we were without strength, Christ died …”.

    When you truly love someone,  you become a benefit to them that they can see. You enhance their life so that it’s worth living. This is why Christ said, “I came to bring you life and life more abundantly.” The greatest part of loving someone is doing something for them that they could not do for themselves. This is why “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever shall believe on him shall not parish, but have eternal life.”

    Love is something for the mature, not the immature. If you are trying to love someone and “self” keeps getting in the way, you’re not ready for the commitment of unconditional love. But if you would allow this love to have it’s way with you, all of your insecurities, fears, quirks and impurities would pour out of you.

    Remember, mankind requires a condition,but  God never did. Who do you believe will be left standing in the end?

  • I can’t?

    Isn’t it funny how the mind works? I remember when I was in grade school and instead of attempting to master math, I spent the most productive hours convincing myself that math was “too hard” and that it “made no sense” and that it was “stupid to do.”

    I really convinced myself of that. Imagine that? I discovered years later that I could totally get my mind to buy into something. Today, it makes me take inventory of my life experiences to see what else I have talked myself into.

    Some of us have talked ourselves into marriage. Some of us had to convince ourselves that the things are parents did were not wrong, it was just the way they expressed their love. Some of us had to convince ourselves that we are worthless and have no value. Still others have convinced themselves that they are the problem and not the other person. Some are convinced that their spiritual leader must be right, or he wouldn’t be a spiritual leader.  All of this convincing causes us to live in pain – whether emotional, spiritual, mental or physical – we’re hurting … real bad!

    It seems we have forgotten the simple lessons when someone is trying to sell us something. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. If it takes some convincing, then it was probably the wrong thing. There is always a reason why we have our reservations. But it seems we have a soft spot for ourselves. We want to believe that we care enough about ourselves to never lead US astray.

    Unfortunately we do it often.

    I can convince myself to love, hate, fight, hold a grudge, spend money, be comfortable with being wrong, gossip, mistreat people and settle. There is no end to what I can convince my mind to do.

    Did you catch what I just said?

    All of us have the ability to convince ourselves of anything. What if we were to convince ourselves to seek positive change, be honest with ourselves and those around us. What if we convinced ourselves to save money, love one another, glorify God or even resist the devil.

    We need to take a self inventory of what we believe and how we came to believe it. Were we convinced by someone or self? Is what we believe true? To search ourselves and answer these questions is another way we can be free.

    We could totally eliminate the words “I can’t” from our lives.

    Then what would our reality be? What would it be like for us to exercise this over ourselves for the betterment of self. Is it too late for a situation or circumstance to be effected by this? Will we let fear stop us from doing what the rest of our being already knew to do?

    Let’s not waste our minds on “I can’t.”