ClydeStyle

Category: judgment

  • With liberty and justice for all?

    There are 2.1 million people in prison in America. We have more people incarcerated than any other country in the world. I wonder how the rest of the world interprets that?

    America is definitely a land of many things and our freedoms allow for a person to migrate here and have an unlimited earning potential. But for a place so plentiful, how can we not protect our justice system? Nevermind that we know there are thousands of innocent people there because the system has flaws. African Americans make up 13 percent of the US population but 38 percent of the prison population. There are 4200 people in federal prison right now that are serving life sentences for nonviolent crimes. Think about that.

    Furthermore, the number one reason for incarceration is drugs. This is interesting because when a drug user steals to keep up with a drug habit, they should not be sent to jail but rehabilitation. The war on drugs is responsible for mass incarceration. And it is interesting that none of the drug dealers had boats, planes or any other means of transporting drugs to America.

    Once a person becomes a  felon in America their freedom is pretty much over even if they make it out of jail.  You see, our Christian nations provides no way to be reconciled so you suffer for life. Even when you are out of prison we still have a way to keep you on the crooked path.

    What’s worse is that neither political party has made strides to correct our justice system and since the prisons have been privatized, it would be extremely difficult to fix because that would mean we would be greatly effecting someone’s bottom line.

    It seems that this would be low-hanging fruit for a political candidate but apparently the bribe to keep things the same must be pretty good. I believe the solution is simple: Have 6 months of amnesty with each prosecutor or solicitor because I believe they already know many of the people who are falsely imprisoned or have been sentenced way to long. They would have 6 months to release these people. After six months, a special task force would be deputized to go over the prosecutors work and if they found anyone still falsely imprisoned, the prosecutor would have to replace the prisoner in jail.

    The special task force would be made up of law school graduating classes at various universities. The law department could oversee this venture while the students did the research.

    No one should be in prison for having a drug addiction. They should immediately be taken to rehabilitation. Everyone who has not committed a violent crime and has been incarcerated for at least 5 years should be released.

    All prison sentencing should only carry a maximum sentence of 10 years no matter what you do and anyone who has served 10 years should be released. Being a felon should be a thing of the past and prisons should get their charters to operate based on the percentage of prisoners who are actually rehabilitated.

    If we did these things in 20 years we may not have a need for prisons… or maybe I’m just dreaming!

  • You always have a choice

    Choice is an act of decision making or selecting when faced with two or more possibilities. It’s given to everyone regardless of race, color, creed or gender. Even though there are powers that will attempt to destroy your choice, everyone still gets one.

    It seems as though the key to life would be to consistently make good decisions. Further, choice is one of those markers that reminds us that we are free.

    Our lives are filled with choices. We decide where to eat, live, work, play and sleep. We choose our mates and careers. We have a choice as to what gender to claim and what religion to believe.

    None of this is new information but it’s the backdrop to the real purpose of this blog and that is making bad decisions. Why is it that people make bad decisions or can’t see how illogical we can be at times. It seems that we struggle most with choices when our emotions are involved.

    Emotion tends to cloud our judgment and force us into seeing things as no-win scenarios. Then we make a flurry of bad decisions and next thing we know all hell has broken loose! We got pregnant, dropped out of school, started smoking, quit our jobs and stop going to church. We make decisions about our relationships that dig us into a hole and severe otherwise great friendships.

    Some would argue that we have too many choices. They believe that the bad choices say a lot about the development of our minds and that maybe we are not smart enough for all of these choices. With whatever stage of life you are in, it is important to make sound choices and count the cost before jumping feet first into an opportunity that sounds too good to be true.

    The worst part of bad decisions is the aftermath when you’re sitting in the mess you caused. It’s not rocket science. Choice should be logical and decisions should be rooted in common sense. And above all else, stay ahead of the learning curve.

  • Let’s make freedom for all … for once

    This Independence Day I thought we could quickly discuss one of the longest living forms of abuse — corporal punishment! Whenever this subject comes up some one quickly says, “Well, I was spanked when I was growing up and I turned out fine.” So the premise is that spankings did no damage to the receiver back in the day so it’s fine for today. Or it means that because of spankings we now have many fine citizens who had loving parents that carried out their Christian duty of “not sparing the rod as to not spoil the child.”

    Many believe that the bible teaches the benefits of spanking kids. Does it? More on that in a moment. The earliest I could research the use of corporal punishment came around 1800 B.C. during Babylonian captivity. The Babylons utilized the death penalty for violation of 25 particular laws.

    Of course we know that this was a learned behavior from England that followed immigrants here during revolutionary times. Slaves were beaten for violating the slave code. This became the dominant understanding and use of corporal punishment. It was used in schools and homes throughout America.

    According to a study conducted by the Harvard School of Education, spanking is not an effective way to discipline a child whether be it at home or at school. The worse part of spankings physically and mentally was when it was done to embarrass, out of anger, out of frustration or to intimate a child. Were you spanked for any of these reasons?

    Further, the bible does not teach us to abuse our children by spanking them. Proverbs 13:24 has been taken completely out of context and interpreted by western standards. The rod in the text is equal to the rod of a shepherd who would use it to teach and guide the sheep with it, not ever to be used as a weapon. This is why Psalms 23 says, “thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

    In addition, for me knowing that spankings were associated with slavery was enough for me not to introduce it to my children. Moreover, I was definitely more important for my kids to love me than fear me. I could come up with far more practical means of consistently convening my point to me children without subjecting them to a violent attack from the one who is responsible for protecting the home.

    So, it’s Independence Day and we are celebrating freedom. Let’s give our kids the freedom to be loved, guided and encouraged instead of adding violence to our dysfunction and giving them a license to carry this barbaric behavior to our future generations.

  • If only it were that easy

    Christianity suffers from unbelief. There are many who profess a relationship with God outwardly but in their hearts they have not surrendered. Have you ever heard phrases like, “I’m just trusting in the Lord”; “God knows my heart”; “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual!”? These used to be the words of the religious, but have now become as empty in meaning as the hearts of the sayer is from God.

    Strong words. I know, but it just seems like a person who loved the Lord in their heart would want to be pleasing to him. God expects that his people will practice loving each other, help people in need and worship him with their lives. Now you don’t have to go to a church to do those things, but going to church has its purpose.

    Allow me to be religious for a moment — in the book of Acts, chapter 2:42-47 Luke, the physician, writes that after baptism the new believers continued in the apostles teaching and fellowshipped together daily. He spoke of them being glad together and having singleness of heart. And it was in this backdrop that the Lord added to the church daily. You see, God expects for his people to form a community of believers that would then go into various other communities and consume them. The church is designed to function like a kingdom. And that kingdom would fulfill the prophecy from Daniel 2:44.

    It’s hard to build the relationship that would glorify God when the system he established is not being utilized. Now I am fully aware that some institutions of religion are so blended with tradition that it doesn’t look like anything God created but none the less, there is a mandate to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together.

    The problem here is much like funerals these days — everyone goes to heaven. I’ve never seen a funeral where the expectation was that the dead would be tormented. No matter what lifestyle was lived, we ignore bible mandates and decide that death for everyone means we are all heaven bound.

    Not only is that not true but it is a pretty good reason why as a society we are so callus about God. Let us live lives that serve a creator who is worthy of our worship. Let’s honor him in our comings and goings because it is because of him that we move and live and have our very being!

  • I’m baaaack!

    Yes. The headline is true. I have started writing again. I’m older, wiser and I have lived. I’m been through comedy and tragedy and I’m now back to share the experiences. Some of the experience will be spiritual and others will feel like therapy but it’s all being done to build you up and give thought-provoking commentary.

    There are more books in the works as well as a podcast. I am even working on an R&B band and a cooking channel. I am praying that these things will be a blessing to all.

    So for my first blog back I just want to share a bit about judging others. It seems that we are extremely hypocritical about this category because everyone has an opinion, but that only seems to apply when YOU are giving the commentary. It doesn’t feel so good when it flows the other way. The problem with judging is that it allows us to elevate our own sense of self-worth over another. What gives you the right to judge? It’s because I feel I have something very important to say … because I am that important. It seems that instead of the bias commentary, we ought to be engaged in helping.

    The bible says it this way: “If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.”
    Galatians 6:3 NLT
    https://bible.com/bible/116/gal.6.3.NLT

    The point here is that since we have the energy to burn, why not use it to build someone up instead of tearing them down.

  • Being emotionally aware of emotional poverty

    Being emotionally aware of emotional poverty

    It seems that uncontrollable outbursts would be embarrassing, but for some it is absolutely not embarrassing! Some people could care less how they are viewed by others so as a result they show out anytime someone does something they don’t like.

    These are the type of people who would get loud in a crowded restaurant or in another place of business because someone crossed them. They would have an outburst in church (if they went regularly).

    Grocery stores, department stores or any heavily populated place would not escape this disruption. You see the more the people the greater the show — and someone emotionally disturbed would not want to disappoint a good crowd.

    Emotional poverty is when you are unable to handle life’s challenges without self destruction. You may have seen people at work who you avoid because you know that if you get into it with them it would be ugly. It’s the person that could take you to that emotional destructive place you used to go to back in the day.

    People respond to pressure a number of different ways. Sometimes they react and don’t understand how or why they took things so far. By the time they realize they went too far, it’s too late. The solution is not as easy as you think. The emotionally poor need response help from someone who is the opposite. To move forward they need a mentor or good friend who can help them model better behavior — I call it loaning them some scratch!

    It’s not enough to just be aware of bad behavior, but take responsibility for those we love who suffer from emotional poverty. I am my brother’s keeper!

  • We were robbed!

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    Happy New Year!

    This is the time for reflection and change in our lives and hopefully life’s lessons have taught us well enough that we are heeding the call and understanding what we must do to be better. By heeding the call I mean you are actually listening to your inner reflections on your past and adjusting accordingly.

    It seems that for some of us our inner voice is “spot on” with reality and helps us out greatly in our decision making. Then there are others who’s inner voice is wounded and we need a little help to make sure what is said is correct and not detrimental to us.

    This is all important because we live among thieves. Thieves are all over the place and we all have a little thievery in us. We all don’t loot or rob people at gunpoint, but what I mean is we steal another persons time, energy and space. We rob people of their joy and happiness and we steal ideas and concepts, friends and lovers and items of clothing like there is no tomorrow. It’s hard to be angry with someone when at some level you are doing the same thing. However, as we mature our thievery should subside. We should not be as taxing on our friends and families and we should be more giving with our own resources.

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    So when you evaluate the people in your life, this tends to be a common denominator when deciding who should stay and who should go. As we get older it becomes more difficult to deal with theft. So we excomunicate them from our lives.

    To help you with this task of elimination, I submit four categories of thieves. The first is called commensalism and these are the thieves that are like suckerfish who ride along with the shark to grab his leftovers. These fish do not bother the Shark, but they exist and thrive because of the shark. These would be your family, particularly your kids (17 and under) and older parents. There is such an obligation to help this bunch that this really becomes a labor of love. In addtion, you may have brothers or sisters in Christ who you have helped them get out of foolishness in the past and since they continue to get better, you continue to help them progress in anyway you can. This group will burn a lot of your energy but the results are priceless.

    The next group is parasitism and these are the folks are flat out selfish. Family is not excluded from this category. These folks do almost everything at your expense. It is their consistent selfish behavior that makes them so toxic that you have to decide how much more you can take. With this group, over 90 percent is them taking from you. It is even possible for you to be in denial of this and allow them to continue.

    The next group I refer to as spitefulism. I may have invented this word but the meaning is real. This is when two people are together and their brain’s pleasure center allows them to be so taxing on eachother that both are suffering from the interaction. I have seen these couples in counseling. They have come to me and neither party wants to give up anything. This proves that some people should have never hooked up. How do you stay in a relationship where both people are miserable and neither wants to get help. This behavior leds to eventual self-distruction.

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    The final group is mutualism and this is exactly what it sounds like: Both parties benefit from eachother. In this relation you don’t mind giving so that there is no thievery. This can be with a spouse, sibling or friend.

    So now you have been blessed to see another year. The longer we live, the better life should get. If life is not getting better, this is the first indicator that something is wrong. Choose this day who will be in your life. Part of our free will is having the choice to chose our circles. Choose wisely my friend. Because although there is not a precise measure of your stress to life ratio, what is certain is that stress is killing you. Not only is stress killing you, but there are already people plotting for your stuff.

  • The Truth about death

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    Death gets a really bad rap I suppose because it can be so sneaky. Death doesn’t always come timely and it sucks if it happens too soon.

    There are much older folks wondering why they are still here and some young folks wasting their life away and it seems that there could be a better use for that life.

    From the very beginning we were introduced to death in the negative for God told our first parents that death was the result of disobedience. Since then, mankind has been running from the death sentence. As if death was the sheriff carrying bounties for us all, we attempt to cheat death.

    There is another way of looking at our friend — yes I said friend.

    Without death, how can we measure life? What actually makes life precious is the fact that it doesn’t last. Further, death was not just given to us as a result of disobedience, but a reminder that this world is temporary and that we should make good use of our time while we’re here.

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    Moreover, our God will transport us to himself in a vehicle called death. You cannot get to God without it. With that said, death can be a beautiful thing, like a flower with a prickly stem. The prickly stem does not take away from the beauty of the flower. Likewise, untimeliness cannot lessen the true effect of death.

    For some of us, death will have a sting. For those that are in Christ, there is no sting. The worst part of death is the sting, but if you have been born of the water and the spirit into the family of God, the sting is gone. And death only hurts on the time-side of life, not the eternal side. Therefore, as a great songstress once said, “…living in Christ we know that death is our friend. It will take us home.”

    Make death your friend today. Believe that Jesus died according to the scriptures and he was buried and rose again the third day according to the scriptures. You don’t need a degree in biblical studies to understand the facts of the gospel and the fact that the savior himself said he that believes and is baptized shall be saved.

    Death is coming. Will it be your friend or foe?

    Questions or comments welcomed!

  • Is it really yours?

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    You know the old saying that if you let something go and if it comes back to you, then it truly belongs to you? I just wonder how practical the application of this saying would be today. I mean, I think that some of us may have taken for granted the people in our lives. Sometimes it’s easy to forget the importance of people under our jursidiction and we really need a wake up call.

    So imagine if you are the boss over a company or you are managing several employees, do you think that if they were released and given another job making the same money, they would stay with you? In the business world we believe sometimes that people get trapped and they don’t have choices. Are we taking advantage of them and treating them horribly because we can? As a leader are you making the environment your employees work in beneficial to them so that they can do the best job possible? Or have you made the place so in your favor that your colleagues hate the company and you? It should not take an episode of “Undercover Bosses” to make you do the right thing. The highest boss is watching and you will have to answer to him.
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    Let’s take this a step further and look at the family because I wonder how many children would stay with their same parents. For those of you with children, do you believe that your offspring would gladly stay with you if they had another opportunity. I’m not talking about riches or a bigger house, I’m speaking pound for pound, comparing apples to apples, given a choice would your children stay with you? That’s a hard question for some and not meant to ruin anyone’s week, but we need to take a step back sometimes and see if what we think we are accomplishing is good and for the betterment of the people God has placed us over.

    Now for the finale, when you look at your marriage do you believe your spouse would come back to you if he or she had the option to leave with no strings attached? Think before you answer. Do you make your spouse feel that he or she is the perfect match for you? Do they feel God’s full blessing being with you or would they rather be single? Is this even something you can talk about? Has chasing after success in life or bitterness or past failures turned you into an asshole? Don’t look at me, I didn’t say it your spouse may have! I just want you to take an honest look at your situation.
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    Life is too short to spend the rest of it with someone who repels you. So before they sneak and talk to an attorney about their options, wouldn’t it be more cost effective for you to have that “come to Jesus talk” with them and say you’re sorry and you want to be better? If you really and truly love the person you are with, you owe it too yourself and your spouse a true confession and a heartfelt apology. Then you would spend your life prioritizing things in order of importance and you would begin with your relationship.

    Don’t listen to the voice in your head that says this task is too much. It is just what your relationship needs. Be the leader you claim you are and lead in this effort to make your life better.

  • Mediocre in the pulpit?

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    There is an interesting phenomenon happening in little leagues all over America. Every player regardless of skill or ability gets a trophy. In baseball if you lead the league in hits, RBIs or home runs and another player sat on the bench the entire season, both will get the same trophy.

    The reason is because there is a contingent that frowns upon those who can excel. They believe that when a person shines bright that it makes they others feel bad. The competitive edge which was always used as a benchmark to make us all better has been eliminated so that we are now raise a generation of children who will expect something for nothing.

    I bring this up because there are jobs where it doesn’t matter how well you do in the job as long as you meet the standard. And then there are other jobs where you cannot take a chance with mediocrity because there is too much at stake.

    No one wants a doctor or dentist that barely made it through school. No one wants the new pilot to fly you to your destination. We don’t even want the new barber or hairstylist.

    One area where this principle needs to be applied is in the pulpit. Sadly there are conditions that exist where a church has had 30 members for 30 years with the same pastor or minister and there has never been any significant growth.

    The larger problem is that the body of believers of the same faith simply mind their own business regarding this situation. There are some who believe that one preacher is just as good as another and as long as whatever he is saying comes from the bible, it’s fine.

    Scholastic ability, style and oratory skills come second or third to a nice guy who doesn’t cause any trouble. In the meantime, the congregation is spiritually dying, the younger generation is absent and God is not glorified.

    These little churches should merge with larger sister churches to form one church and honor God together. If you are in one of these little churches you have to ask yourself or those leading, why are we here? What are we trying to accomplish? Is there even a plan?

    The goal is never to embarrass anyone, but to bring to the social conscious where we are spiritually. Jesus promised an abundant life, not a mediocre life. It is pretty difficult to see God in the plan when there is no growth and our standard for the pulpit is so low.