ClydeStyle

Category: kindness

  • Living with a disability

    Although it is not talked about much, July is Disability Pride Month, and specifically, July 26th celebrates the signing of the American Disabilities Act (ADA).

    In America, we don’t do a good enough job taking care of this population. Similarly, we don’t take care of seniors either. Like everything else, money and status matter so that despite how rich of a cou try this is, we fail to take care of our most vulnerable.

    It is not even on the radar for most people. If you don’t have a disability or you’re not helping to take care of a person with disabilities, their care would not be on your mind.

    Five years ago, I was stricken with a bacterial infection that eventually made me a bilateral below-knee amputee and killed my kidneys. I am also on dialysis. Medicaid has been a blessing to me as I am taking 17 pills per day, and the prescription bill alone would be hard to afford.

    As long as I stay in the network, my health expenses are covered. But let’s talk about the coverage. I wear prosthetics and  ,  like everything else, if you have money, you will be up and walking close to normal. If you are poor, it’s an entirely different story.

    I have the lowest form of prosthetics available outside of a pirate’s peg leg. It takes me nearly 500 percent more energy to take a step than a healthy person. More advanced prosthetics could get me closer to 50 percent if I had the money.

    Because of this, many people, in my case, don’t even attempt to walk because of this. Imagine not having legs and trying to get around and do things. Even with assistance, it is difficult.

    Technology should make life easier for everybody. We decide to always bring cost into it. So what then is the benefit of being in the richest country?

    Shout out to all the caregivers who donate time and energy to help the disabled. We will pray together for things to get better.

  • What to do when love calls? (part 3 of 3)

    The doorbell rings and there is a gentleman caller. He’s well groomed and standing there with a single rose. He greets me with a hug and he smells amazing. The aroma is earthy with a hint of citrus. He’s excited to get where we’re going and he says I will love the surprise. We head out to his car and he opens the door and assists her in getting in. He starts the car and beautiful jazz sounds come from the bose speakers. We’re off and I don’t care what happens next.

    This scenario is a beautiful to a potentially satisfying evening. Two people who are available, drama free and emotionally available to each other. They are both at the stage of life, where they are looking for a partner to share life successes. All the kids are adults and doing well, houses are owned, advancement at work are abundant, and they’re both in the mood for love.

    It is surprising how uncommon this situation is. Typically, one or both partners have a deficiency in life that tends to hinder healthy relationships. If this scenario is closer to your situation, then you are considered blessed. However, there are 5 things that have to be present to assure success in the relationship.

    First, there is honesty. This is a key ingredient to every healthy relationship because you can’t build trust without it. Honesty is being truthful and sincere with your words, actions, and thoughts. What reason would there be for someone to be dishonest in a relationship? There is no reason to be dishonest, and a healthy relationship has no tolerance for dishonesty.

    Second, integrity is acting in a way you know to be right and kind in all situations. This should be a quality that everyone brings to the table, but those who lack the ability to have a healthy relationship see nothing wrong with omitting integrity. This should be another deal breaker.

    Third, respect is treating people, places, and things with kindness. A person who normally lacks in this area starts with not respecting themselves. A good test is to see how this person speaks about their parents. For a female, it’s her dad, and with the son, it’s the mom. These are the people who would be the instructors for your partner, and if they didn’t learn it from them, then they probably don’t know it.

    Fourth is attentive, which means a person who pays close attention to the welfare and well-being of another. This is the quality where a person makes you feel like you really matter. They pay attention when things are not right. They calculate strategies to make you happy. They know how to give their undivided attention and live directly in the moment.

    Last but not least, the person needs to be open minded and have a sense to at least try something once. This brings a freshness to the relationship and the opportunity to explore together and learn what works best for each partner. The world is a big place with lots of customs and rituals that become great learning tools for an adventurous couple.

    These ingredients serve as great starting points for a healthy relationship. So remember to not rush into anything. Relationships should always be a choice.

  • Resolution over already???

    It is not uncommon to have ended your resolutions prematurely. Most who make resolutions fail to see them through. They were made with good intentions I’m sure but either poor planning, lack of desire, or it was too difficult, we start them and it doesn’t take long to snap back into last year’s habits.

    Don’t beat yourself up about it. In most cases it really just means you must take smaller steps. No one’s humanity enjoys cold turkey resolutions. You have to start somewhere so that needs to be something easier to handle.

    Many people are seeking to lose weight and for many it is because of health problems or to avoid future problems. You know you need to lose weight but do you really want to? All resolutions look good on paper, but in your heart of hearts is that really what you want?

    If you are 40 and you have been big all of your life, how long do you think it will take to get small? Definitely not likely in a year because the discipline is not there. And without professional help and support network — forget it!

    The bigger question is what do you do now? Do you try again? Do you select something easier? Do you even have to have a resolution??

    Someone planted a seed which said that if you are not moving forward then there is something wrong with you. We are all supposed to strive to be the be person we can be — who said we had to do that?

    Maybe your resolution should be all about making your own decisions. You should decide what happiness is for you. You should decided what type of lifestyle you want and live it! It is when we are trying to change for other people is where it becomes problematic.

    Love yourself enough to make small changes in your life to improve your well-being but don’t become obsessed. How you look, your job status and your bank account should not be our measuring sticks! Our character, integrity and servant hood should be the standard of person we become.

    Children are looking at us and they will take on our trials and tribulations. They need to be taught what is right as defined by you (I mean they are your kids). You control their level of involvement with social media and the greed of this society. You can choose to be different and raise children that will be productive citizen and not self-absorbed mini me’s that struggle each year with resolutions because they think they are not enough. Balance is key!

  • There is nothing like a good. . .

    There is nothing like a good teacher. Our educational system has a lot to be desired especially when being compared to foreign countries we’re not even in the top 20.

    But a truly good teacher is hard to find. Good being defined as one who unconditionally treats the children as little sponges that can absorb anything. These teachers change lives, inspire kids and builds confidents. They make learning fun and they make no distinction between the children. They do everything possible to make sure no child is left behind and they keep our kids safe.

    There is nothing like a good first responder! Whether you needed a firefighter, police officer or a paramedic these folks are gamechangers. They jump in the middle of tribulation and trials without regard for their own well being. They are selfless. They will be there when you need them without bias or fear. These individuals make the uniforms mean something and they are a blessing in any community. My heart still hearts for the Evalde, TX children who could have used such warriors but couldn’t find any. God bless our first responders.

    There is nothing like a good pastor! Someone who will lay down his life for his sheep. One who gives the right counsel in the time of confusion, a strong word in the moment of doubt and is a comfort to those in fear. A good pastor always prays, hopes, loves and endures. He has studied his craft and doesn’t live a contradicting life. He smells like sheep! Thankful for the pastor!!

    There is nothing like a good parent! It’s not easy to make a home and there are many broken and dysfunctional families in America but God bless the parent that keeps his family safe, provides a decent living, loves unconditionally, demonstrates and develops character, integrity and faith among the children. A good parent knows what the child needs before the child does. They nurture, teach, provide comic relief and empowers their children. Good parents teach their kids not to be bullies, to respect themselves and others, to work and play hard and most importantly to know Jesus. The parent is responsible for maintaining the sacred bond and trust between the parent and child for as long as they live!

    And finally, there is nothing like a good neighbor!! One who shows themselves friendly. A person who is helpful, resourceful and positive. A good neighbor cultivates a relationship that benefits both parties and does things never expecting any credit for it. A good neighbor keeps and eye on their surroundings to make sure it’s safe for all and they know when to get involved and when not to. Good neighbors build strong neighborhoods and even elevates the property value! Long life the good neighbor!

    Hopefully this blog as got you thinking of other good people in your life that are making a difference and to remember to give them their flowers before they die. 2023 is a good year to begin showing gratitude for the wonderful people God has place in your life!

  • A network of togetherness

    There is something to be said for being together. Our closeness or unity or connection to another person or group of folks quenches the thirsty we have for belonging. As humans we need to be a part of something — good or bad we need to belong. We yearn for inclusion and to be entangled with other people.

    Togetherness is defined as a state or feeling of closeness and happiness among people who are together as friends, family members, etc. Some have several groups they associate with. In these groups you should find all you need to balance your life such as encouragement, support, wisdom, intimacy, family, networking and entertainment.

    Togetherness is so important that we should have a societal rule that everyone must be a part of a crew. You choose your own crew but your Togetherness will also be charged for trouble you get in. That alone would make us choose our friends more closely and truly be our brothers keeper!

    Togetherness greatly helps with mental health issues and it single handedly lowers suicide rates. In fact, overall crime goes down in areas where people cluster together in unity. Many foreigners to this country take their togetherness to a foreign land and excel! They live in close quarters together for a time to save money and get ahead. So two families may move together and live together here. All able-bodied individuals work and the money made is shared with the cluster. Each family helps the other get ahead and they slowly bring in more families as others advance.

    This just proves that we are better together. We were created to be a part of a pair that would have the ability to increase it’s nunber and the. They would all work together and look out for each other. We also call this a family!

    I remember the crew I had in junior high, high school and college. Then I had a different group of professionals when I entered the workforce. As far back as I can recall, I have never existed without a crew. And all of my groups were successful. How about you my friends? Do you have a crew? Do you support your crew? Is your group successful? Can you rely on them? These are very important questions if you plan to get by with a little help from your friends!

  • Don’t say it; because you are better than that!

    In the book of James in the bible he talks in chapter 3 about taming the tongue.

    James compares the tongue to the govenor that controls a ship and the bit that bridles the horse. Both when used properly are for the purposes of controlling the whole.

    He also says the tongue is fire and if not controlled it would burn and destroy. The instrument used to control has been misused for retaliation. The biggest problem with retaliation is that it always hits the people that are closest to us.

    How many arguments have you had with people you have professed to love that ended badly because somebody made an out of bounds comment that was clearly meant to hurt the person?

    Sadly, the closest people to us are the ones that we know the most about. They have been vulnerable with us. They trust us with some very intimate things. We then turn around in our selfishness and unload hate at the ones we love.

    Selfishness is the reason we respond that way. Selfishness is the actual thing that needs controlling and God gave us the tongue to do that. All of our good, bad and ugly gets distributed throughout our whole bodies and before it leaves our temple it rests on our tongue. It’s at this moment that we are crucified with Christ (Gal. 2:20).

  • How powerful is the will of God … in your life?

    If the question is asked to the average Christian regarding the power of the will of God unanimously they would say, “it is all powerful” or something to that effect. They would say, “who can resist the power of God?”

    Those are all great answers, but now the question of the power of the will of God focuses on your life. You see, on it’s own merit God’s will is as powerful as He is, but since God doesn’t make us do His will, it’s up to our own understanding as to how powerful it would be in our lives.

    So when the bible reveals God’s will to us, how do we respond? For example, Eph. 5:22 tells wives to submit themselves to their own husbands in everything. But what if he is a cheater?

    What if he is an abuser? What if he is mean? The text does not add a condition to this command, but God allows you the choice to select who you want to be married to. So now how powerful is God’s will?

    Continuing in the same Ephesians text it says for the husband to love his wife the same way Christ loved the church. Again it doesn’t give a condition that negates the command if she doesn’t act the way you want her to.

    What about helping people? Would you help a fellow Christian just because he was a Christian or does he or she have to be extremely close to you for you to help?

    When is the last time you gave of your time and means for a Christian you really didn’t know?

    Maybe the world has a hard time seeing Jesus because his followers are not reflecting the love they are experiencing from Him.

    Our world is in troubled times where what God says doesn’t seem to matter much. But if the only way the world will see it and understand it is if it is modeled by Christ’s followers then we may be in big trouble!

  • Being emotionally aware of emotional poverty

    Being emotionally aware of emotional poverty

    It seems that uncontrollable outbursts would be embarrassing, but for some it is absolutely not embarrassing! Some people could care less how they are viewed by others so as a result they show out anytime someone does something they don’t like.

    These are the type of people who would get loud in a crowded restaurant or in another place of business because someone crossed them. They would have an outburst in church (if they went regularly).

    Grocery stores, department stores or any heavily populated place would not escape this disruption. You see the more the people the greater the show — and someone emotionally disturbed would not want to disappoint a good crowd.

    Emotional poverty is when you are unable to handle life’s challenges without self destruction. You may have seen people at work who you avoid because you know that if you get into it with them it would be ugly. It’s the person that could take you to that emotional destructive place you used to go to back in the day.

    People respond to pressure a number of different ways. Sometimes they react and don’t understand how or why they took things so far. By the time they realize they went too far, it’s too late. The solution is not as easy as you think. The emotionally poor need response help from someone who is the opposite. To move forward they need a mentor or good friend who can help them model better behavior — I call it loaning them some scratch!

    It’s not enough to just be aware of bad behavior, but take responsibility for those we love who suffer from emotional poverty. I am my brother’s keeper!

  • Is it really yours?

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    You know the old saying that if you let something go and if it comes back to you, then it truly belongs to you? I just wonder how practical the application of this saying would be today. I mean, I think that some of us may have taken for granted the people in our lives. Sometimes it’s easy to forget the importance of people under our jursidiction and we really need a wake up call.

    So imagine if you are the boss over a company or you are managing several employees, do you think that if they were released and given another job making the same money, they would stay with you? In the business world we believe sometimes that people get trapped and they don’t have choices. Are we taking advantage of them and treating them horribly because we can? As a leader are you making the environment your employees work in beneficial to them so that they can do the best job possible? Or have you made the place so in your favor that your colleagues hate the company and you? It should not take an episode of “Undercover Bosses” to make you do the right thing. The highest boss is watching and you will have to answer to him.
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    Let’s take this a step further and look at the family because I wonder how many children would stay with their same parents. For those of you with children, do you believe that your offspring would gladly stay with you if they had another opportunity. I’m not talking about riches or a bigger house, I’m speaking pound for pound, comparing apples to apples, given a choice would your children stay with you? That’s a hard question for some and not meant to ruin anyone’s week, but we need to take a step back sometimes and see if what we think we are accomplishing is good and for the betterment of the people God has placed us over.

    Now for the finale, when you look at your marriage do you believe your spouse would come back to you if he or she had the option to leave with no strings attached? Think before you answer. Do you make your spouse feel that he or she is the perfect match for you? Do they feel God’s full blessing being with you or would they rather be single? Is this even something you can talk about? Has chasing after success in life or bitterness or past failures turned you into an asshole? Don’t look at me, I didn’t say it your spouse may have! I just want you to take an honest look at your situation.
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    Life is too short to spend the rest of it with someone who repels you. So before they sneak and talk to an attorney about their options, wouldn’t it be more cost effective for you to have that “come to Jesus talk” with them and say you’re sorry and you want to be better? If you really and truly love the person you are with, you owe it too yourself and your spouse a true confession and a heartfelt apology. Then you would spend your life prioritizing things in order of importance and you would begin with your relationship.

    Don’t listen to the voice in your head that says this task is too much. It is just what your relationship needs. Be the leader you claim you are and lead in this effort to make your life better.

  • Mediocre in the pulpit?

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    There is an interesting phenomenon happening in little leagues all over America. Every player regardless of skill or ability gets a trophy. In baseball if you lead the league in hits, RBIs or home runs and another player sat on the bench the entire season, both will get the same trophy.

    The reason is because there is a contingent that frowns upon those who can excel. They believe that when a person shines bright that it makes they others feel bad. The competitive edge which was always used as a benchmark to make us all better has been eliminated so that we are now raise a generation of children who will expect something for nothing.

    I bring this up because there are jobs where it doesn’t matter how well you do in the job as long as you meet the standard. And then there are other jobs where you cannot take a chance with mediocrity because there is too much at stake.

    No one wants a doctor or dentist that barely made it through school. No one wants the new pilot to fly you to your destination. We don’t even want the new barber or hairstylist.

    One area where this principle needs to be applied is in the pulpit. Sadly there are conditions that exist where a church has had 30 members for 30 years with the same pastor or minister and there has never been any significant growth.

    The larger problem is that the body of believers of the same faith simply mind their own business regarding this situation. There are some who believe that one preacher is just as good as another and as long as whatever he is saying comes from the bible, it’s fine.

    Scholastic ability, style and oratory skills come second or third to a nice guy who doesn’t cause any trouble. In the meantime, the congregation is spiritually dying, the younger generation is absent and God is not glorified.

    These little churches should merge with larger sister churches to form one church and honor God together. If you are in one of these little churches you have to ask yourself or those leading, why are we here? What are we trying to accomplish? Is there even a plan?

    The goal is never to embarrass anyone, but to bring to the social conscious where we are spiritually. Jesus promised an abundant life, not a mediocre life. It is pretty difficult to see God in the plan when there is no growth and our standard for the pulpit is so low.