In the book of James in the bible he talks in chapter 3 about taming the tongue.
James compares the tongue to the govenor that controls a ship and the bit that bridles the horse. Both when used properly are for the purposes of controlling the whole.
He also says the tongue is fire and if not controlled it would burn and destroy. The instrument used to control has been misused for retaliation. The biggest problem with retaliation is that it always hits the people that are closest to us.
How many arguments have you had with people you have professed to love that ended badly because somebody made an out of bounds comment that was clearly meant to hurt the person?
Sadly, the closest people to us are the ones that we know the most about. They have been vulnerable with us. They trust us with some very intimate things. We then turn around in our selfishness and unload hate at the ones we love.
Selfishness is the reason we respond that way. Selfishness is the actual thing that needs controlling and God gave us the tongue to do that. All of our good, bad and ugly gets distributed throughout our whole bodies and before it leaves our temple it rests on our tongue. It’s at this moment that we are crucified with Christ (Gal. 2:20).