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We live in a society that props up certain individuals for their talent, wealth, success, looks and other attributes. There is a need to create superman because psychologically we need to know/see the best version of ourselves.

Many of us desire to either be superman or be his sidekick. We cherish this superman version of ourselves and it gives us hope.

Idols are created.

There was a choice involved in that creation and there was an obsession. When these “supermen” show that they are not so “super” we tend to forget who made them. We forget who elevated their gift to a god-like level and why. This never happens without coveteousness. Something to be had or obtained by the admirer that makes them blind to the dangers of idolizing mankind.

Once idolizing starts, abuse is imminent. The only thing necessary at this point for abuse is access. When access is granted, abuse is possible.

From the other direction, superman believes he is superman. He believes he can fly! He believes that the laws cannot contain him. He believes that his money and power will protect him. He believes his sins are forgiven. He hides behind his gifts and other idolaters stand ready to replace the former. Literally people are rushing toward abuse and with every victim, there is a new one in the back awaiting their turn to be abused.

Onlookers who are not caught up in that version of superman always want to judge. It’s easy for them to say, “how could they be so stupid!” “How could they not know?” “Who in their right mind would do that?!”

And it’s never that simple.

We underestimate our need to see and be the best version of ourselves. We struggle with the pursuit of success and we have been told to dream big and reach for the stars. In the hunt for that elite status we are able to minimize the warning signs. And then when we become a victim, we want others to be outraged with us. Then we seek great revenge and want to see the now debunked superman destroyed so we turn to social media.

The problem with social media is that just about everybody has an opinion and everybody has their own idol. The only way to stop this blood cycle of horror and eliminate the need to create a caped crusader is to recognize the one and only true superman — Jesus.

Some time in the late 1700s a poem was composed about friendship. It started in Scotland and has been sung all over the English-speaking countries for centuries.

We know the song as Auld Lang Syne and all though the words may escape most, its rhetorical opening and folk lore melody is very familiar.

This song is not just used to close out the old year, but at funerals, weddings or any occasion that signifies an ending and a new beginning.

It is always good to go into a new year knowing who your friends are.

You can make all the plans you want, but when there is no one there to share, tell, laugh, cry or whatever you need to do with, it doesn’t matter.

As the new year brings to light gleanings of a better version of ourselves, it would be equally important if we examine the type of friend we have been.

Do you know why your “best friend” likes you? Are you proud of this reason? Have you every betrayed a friend? Are you a person worthy of friendship? Do you really know what it means to be a good friend?

Life is not worth living if our interactions with one another don’t move us to desire to be better. Great character, integrity and scholarship mean nothing without good people around to share in it.

Friendship is always a pleasant, safe space you enter into with another human and through this union you are able to exchange energy, share thoughts, strengthen each other and have fun. There are rules which are not written. Loyalties that should never have to be spoken and feelings that synchronize through sharing.

You should never have to utter the words, “I thought we were friends?” There are some people from 2018 who are definitely needed in the New Year and there are some from 2018 who are not — do you know the difference?

Heinz ketchup had this series of commercials back in the day that showed someone holding the bottle and their ketchup slowly coming out and the music would start playing and you would hear a group singing the word anticipation in a syncopated rhythm. It would be over a hamburger, hotdog or fries and I have to admit, it was very effective. You got the idea that this ketchup was thick and rich and definitely worth waiting for. It also said that you don’t eat this type of food without Heintz ketchup.

Life is full of waiting. It is said that the average person throughout their lifetime spends five years waiting in lines and queues where roughly six months of that is waiting at traffic lights. Yikes!! That’s a lot of waiting. But what would be harder to calculate is how much of the waiting was beneficial or a waste of time.

Is waiting 2 hours for a 7 minute rollercoaster ride worth it? Or how about waiting 24 hours to buy tickets to see your favorite musical group? Or what about 12 hours in the cold for a “Black Friday” deal?

There are some people right now waiting on a marriage proposal; waiting on someone in hospice to die; waiting on results from tests; waiting to hear back from a job interview; or waiting for military personnel to come home.

Probably the greatest wait of our lives would be the times where we find ourselves between a tragedy and a triumph. All you can do is wait. And in that time period where the news reports that the earthquake, hurricane or open shooter is in the direct area of your loved one and you are trying to find out how bad this outcome is for your family. Will we be planning a funeral soon or did I have nothing to worry about. But all you can do is wait. So the logical question is what do we do during the space between a tragedy and a triumph?

Some pray but is God really intervening in issues like this? How do we know? What if this tragedy is the time your loved one was supposed to die? Do we believe God is extending time for some folks? Or others meditate which does nothing for the person in the storm but helps with the waiting. Others worry themselves sick only to find out there was nothing to worry about. Still others become so angry because waiting gives us a cold slap in the face to remind us that we are NOT in control. Waiting helps to develop patience, trust and character. And there are those times when waiting just flat out sucks!

So when you are waiting, spend more time seeing what lessons are in the act of waiting that address your issues. Are you a control freak? Well this may be your lesson in patience. Are you selfish or self serving? Waiting is your way of giving back. Or do you go 100 miles an hour all day for others to the point where you are not taking care of yourself? This may be your time to slow it down and see what you have missed. Whatever the case, waiting is one of life’s favorite venues to teach. Don’t miss your lesson. Embrace the wait!

The movie series called The Purge was basically about organizing what is naturally happening in America anyway and that is hurt people are hurting people.

Our laws are not a deterrent for crimes and the threat of prison never stopped anyone — just ask the million of folks incarcerated in the U.S.

So does it matter whether it naturally happens or whether it is orchestrated by the government? The movie has the government organizing it and selecting a day that allows crimes to go unpunished. I am not advocating that.

But what I am saying is there is nothing wrong with the concept of purging. If we viewed are individual selves as systems, then all I’m saying is that it matters who you allow in your system. If someone or something is bad for the system then it has to be purged.

Preachers advocate for Christians to purge anyone detrimental to your spiritual growth. Doctors advocate for patients to purge foods that are not healthy for their bodies. Therapists recommend their clients to purge people who mentally and emotionally are unstable and who bring that instability to their system.

You can eat something that is so disagreeable to your system that your stomach will purge it out so this is the natural order of things– right?

So let me be clear: For the sake of your holistic well-being you must purge on ever level of you life every single year!

There are people, places, things and ideas that have proven to be toxic for you. Why have you not purged? How will you ever heal if the catalyst for your pain and sorrow continues to exist in your life?

The best made plans of 2018 have been ruined by those who would rather destroy your life instead of improve theirs. The upkeep of your system is mandatory! The players you allow into your system are optional. Some things need to be dropped like a bad habit. Start making your list, planning your exit strategy and sharpening the shears! Dead weight needs to be cut away so that you can start to soar!

Happy purging!!!

Self esteem is defined as confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. You would think that everyone would have confidence in their own abilities, but clearly we do not. And to make matters worse, we pass low self esteem on to the next generation.

Self esteem starts at home. Mommy and daddy nurture baby and gives him or her confidence in just being baby. Then little tasks are put in baby’s way so that esteem can be develop from successful completion of said tasks. This is repeated for the next 18 years and baby has fully grown up into a well balanced young man or young woman and ready to take on the world’s challenges.

In a perfect world.

However, in the world we live in, baby would need years of counseling to deal with what didn’t happen at home and what did happen at school. He or she would have to figure out that they have some value beyond any abuse they suffered and by the time they reach 18, they are normally too discouraged to continue to battle or fool with esteem.

So these young people will start processing their self esteem through relationships, jobs or possessions. They will use these things to hide the wounded inner child that is afraid to come out.

Sadly, all interactions become conditional and they can’t find a true friend. Facebook becomes their best friend and they start to tell all of their private business on social media platforms and then wonder why people avoid them.

Low self esteem doesn’t allow you to see that you have put yourself on the butt end of a fake reality show that you launched on social media. You look really bad and you can’t see it. You date losers or others who need fixing. You constantly help and show love to others but get nothing in return.

Every adult relationship has been jacked up and actually believe you were in love before. Who is going to fix this nightmare? Who is going to make your situation better?

Start with the one in the mirror and get them counseling fast!