ClydeStyle

Category: Love

  • The truth about forgiveness

    Friends,

    How often have you heard that we are supposed to forgive and forget? This has even been attributed as a biblical principle – the only problem is that God never told us to forgive AND forget.

    Consider this: We are VERY human and in our carnal state it is not remembering the sin that is wrong, it’s how we remember it.

    If I am remembering someone else’s trespass against me for the purposes of fueling my hatred toward them, then God’s going to have a problem with that.

    If I am remembering the trespass as a reminder of how human we all really are and to fuel my compassion toward humanity, then God will be pleased.

    You see, we can’t expect God to forgive us if we are unwilling to forgive others — was this not the Lord’s prayer?

    Not to mention that Jesus also said that if we didn’t forgive genuinely (from the heart) our brother his trespasses, then God would not forgive us (Matt.18:35).

    The issue I like to focus on is how much more the world will get to understand our God by the way we forgive. Any fool can seek revenge, but it takes a child of God to love their enemies, have compassion for those who persecute and give grace to evildoers.

    You don’t forgive people because they ask for it or because they deserve it. You forgive my friend because you have been forgiven.

    Selah

  • A reason to be outraged?

    May 9, 2012 will be a day that goes down in history as another advancement in civil rights.

    President Barack Obama gave his personal feelings regarding same-sex unions. Before doing this, his administration has already done many things for gays and lesbians in regards to their civil rights. In addition, he has done quite a bit in his presidency for minorities and the disenfranchised.

    With that said, we need to remember the separation of church and state. Too many religious people will attempt to make this an issue for the church — it is not.

    What we can’t do here is forget what our constitution says regarding equal rights. If you believe in the fabric of what our forefathers wrote about “one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”, and if you believe in the Holy Bible and you understand the teaching of free will and judgement day, you should be very understanding of the events of the day.

    Why you ask? Because no one I know voted for Obama because of his religious beliefs. I hope that no one has wasted a vote on any politician based on his spirituality.

    What you should have done is voted based on the political views they claimed and their ability to get those things done.

    But you don’t need me to tell you why you should vote. Instead, let me just remind you of God’s word.

    There are many people who believe in trying to do God’s job. You see, God never invited us to His judgement seat. God invited us to the love seat; forgiveness seat; and benevolent seat. These are the things that Christians do.

    We need to uphold free will — hand in hand with democracy! We need to make sure that we don’t create a scenario that backfires on us. How can I decide a choice for someone when I don’t want anyone to make choices for me?

    In this country, there are many organizations (like the KKK) that I don’t agree with. I don’t even think they should exist. And despite the evil things done in their history I believe in their right to exist. Why? Because I’m a Christian and I’m an American. As a Christian I know what the bible says and I know who has the final say. I know who will judge the quick and the dead and I’m comfortable with His judgement.

    As an American, my constitution is the standard and we have a history of being hypocrites. Just as other great Americans have done, I feel duty bound to speak up for the rights our troops are defending. People have the right to love and be with who they want. Whether I agree with it or not, they still have that right.

    We need to make sure that we are not trying to hide bigotry behind the cross!

  • Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of victory, but for what?

    For years I celebrated Cinco de Mayo thinking that it was the equivalent of the Fourth of July for Mexico. I grew up with Mexican neighbors, I still love Mexican food (minus all that cheese) and never did any of them ever correct my thinking. Cinco de Mayo is the celebration of the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.

    In the spirit of unlikely victories I’d like to say that I am dissatisfied with the way civil rights is rationed out in Christian America. Our civil rights movement of the sixties advanced African-Americans some. Not that African-American’s have arrived by any stretch of the imagination, but it just seems to me that those who have been through a struggle would reach back with empathy  to help others going through a struggle.

    Based on our history, you would think that on a massive scale, the Jewish nation would have done more things to assist African-Americans in their struggle. I’m not at all saying that nothing has been done, but with the reparations as a result of the horrible Holocaust and the fact that Jews maintained their identity through that process, Jews had information that would have changed the state of African-Americans today. Now I say this fully aware that most of the houses sold by Jews from the 60s-80s were sold to Blacks because Whites would not live in homes formally owned by Jews. Southfield, MI is a perfect example of this. There have been educational, healthcare, housing and other services given to assist African-Americans which were funded by Jews. These things were great helps in the struggle and they specifically dealt with the RESULTS of the struggle. I don’t know of anything done to PREVENT the struggle — and that’s my point. After slavery, Blacks needed direction and guidance. There was a need to know how the financial system functioned and ownership of real estate. Other than Tulsa’s Black Wall Street (and we know what happened to it!), this knowledge was missing. I wonder what if the Jews taught Blacks how to succeed much like the Native American taught the pilgrims how to succeed what would things look like now?

    Fast forward to the 21st Century and African-Americans should be doing more to help Mexicans and Hispanics in their struggles with this nation. The very same struggles that we are still trying to overcome. Granted this should be the responsibility of everyone including federal, state and local authorities. When you start running statistics you will see that Jews went through some very horrible things here in America. African-Americans are still going through some horrible things in this country. And Mexicans and Hispanics are catching hell right now. From being kicked out of our country, to not having their healthcare disparities even addressed, to not receiving fair wages and benefits for work and poor education.

    I don’t mean to sound harsh or offensive, but we need to stop accepting the unspoken pecking order that ranks the races.  I want to do something about this. I’m not sure what exactly, but I would like to do something to help with this cause. I realize that there are a lot of causes out there, but this Cinco de Mayo I would like to not only celebrate the Battle of Puebla with them, but I also want to end that celebration, by asking them what I can do to help. What about you?

  • We need to wait for God’s end

    Friends,

    Everyone can relate to the feeling of being betrayed or having someone do something to you without cause.

    It’s not right! It doesn’t feel good! And it’s hard to forgive in such cases.

    There are many who may still be struggling to overcome the results of someone’s wrong doing. You would not be human if as a spiritual person you didn’t wonder or question where is God in all of this?

    In 1 Peter 2, the bible tells us that it is thank worthy to God “when we suffer wrongfully” and “take it patiently.”

    Although this is easier said than done, we need to wait on the Lord. God’s providence follows us into the calamity. God’s control has limited and manipulated the wrongdoing before it came to us.

    Did you catch what I said? God has already worked things out. Now remember I am talking about the trouble that comes your way that you did not cause. This is the same type of trouble that James says to “count (it) all joy when you fall into divers temptations” (Ja. 1:2).

    Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all believers trusted God enough to allow his control and not seek to fight alone? There is a clear war going on here my friends — Good vs. Evil.

    The real question is: Who are you going to trust? Can the wrongdoing of mankind trump the goodness of God when it comes to his love toward us?

    Let’s wait (on the Lord) and see!

  • Smelling the roses

    The latest census says that those who are 85 and older are now the fastest growing population. We could learn much from these aged pill takers.

    I recently had the pleasure of talking with a few of them and in no particular order, these are the top 10 things I learned:

    1) Wake up with the sun. Too many young folks sleep the day away and are unproductive. Wake up with a purpose and enjoy the sunrise.

    2) Read twice as much as you watch TV.

    3) Deny yourself and save money.

    4) Eat healthy so that you can enjoy your golden years.

    5) Get plenty of sleep.

    6) Drink plenty of water.

    7) Get plenty of exercise.

    8) Control your use of technology; don’t let technology control you.

    9) Enjoy family.

    10) Practice loving everybody.

    I wonder what it would be like if we spent 2012 with these 10 suggestions?

    They all seem so obvious, but why don’t we do them? Who wants to wait for a degenerative disease to happen before we begin to take care of ourselves.

    This age group is far more conservative, morally intellectual, far more cultural and more responsible than the generations after them.

    Let’s accept the lessons and the responsibility that follows. If not, we might not have any roses to smell.

  • The family constellation

    The family is the most important institution in the world. It is the cornerstone of our society and an incubator for the future generations.

    It is important to take care of this institution. Our future depends on it.

    I believe that we need to apply some basic bible principles of love, collective work and responsibility and faith.

    I compare this to a well-oiled basketball team. All the great teams have the same thing in common. Each player cares about the other. The work is shared and everyone wants to do their part. The group also believes in each other and the cause that they are going for — whether it be the championship or striving for the good life.

    Each member of the team or family plays an important part. The guards are the first line of defense on one side and the initiators of the offense on the other side. The forwards attack and defend the baseline of the goal and the center brings balance.

    In a family of five, one scenario could be a strong wife (point guard); oldest child (shooting guard); the other two kids playing the forward positions and the dad is the center.

    Problems occur when some members don’t feel like they are a part of the team or choose not to hold up their end of the bargain. Family commitment is important and this is a good time to recommit to the health and welfare of the family.

    Parents need to believe it! Children need to see it! And the world needs to follow the example!

    Long live the family!

  • Another year

    It seems that the older we get, the faster the years go by.

    We were just ushering in 2011 and now it’s over. The end of the year becomes a time where we are able to reflect on the things that happened and make changes if needed.

    It’s a time where we should be deciding to end bad relationships because the year has revealed to us that there is no benefit in them.

    It’s time to take control over the things that this year has shown us are out of control.

    It’s time to rededicate our lives to the people who matter the most to us.

    It’s time to talk to God about purpose, plan and repentance.

    It’s time for us to make sure that we don’t miss out on the real important things in life because we’re too busy chasing the superficial things.

    Don’t let 2012 come and go without you experiencing the things that matter most. Make sure you seize every moment to love someone, admire things God created like sunsets and rainbows and mentor someone that needs you — what God has hidden in these types of relationships make life worth living.

    And finally, do the best you can to eliminate stress, the Western culture diet and revenge out of your life. All three of these things can kill you.

    Lord thank you for allowing us to see another year. Grant us the courage to make the most of it and honor and glorify your name in it.Amen!

    Happy New Year my friends!

  • A true worker for the Lord

    Have you ever thought about asking God what you can do for him?

    It seems to be a foreign concept to ask the creator of the universe if he needs us to do something. But when we consider how the Almighty has set things up, we actually should be asking him that, more times than not.

    Consider this: John the Baptist came to bear witness of the light. The bible says he was not that light, but came to bear witness of the light to the world.

    Jesus then comes on the scene as the light and teaches his disciples that they are the light of the world.

    Question: If I am the light of the world, shouldn’t I ask the originator of the light where he wants me to shine?

    I can make some assumptions, but why? Is it too much to think that God would actually place certain people on our hearts and minds so that we can pray for them, minister to them or just help them?

    If this still sounds foreign to you, pray this to the Lord: “Father in heaven, you have been so good to me and I don’t deserve it. I want to serve in your kingdom and show the world how good you are. Please point me in the right direction. Give me a ministry that I might utilize the gifts you gave me to better your cause. I love you and thank you in Jesus name, amen.”

    See how simple it is? It’s good to be in a place where you are content and can see clearly how to help another person get there.

    The harvest is still plentiful, but the workers are still few…. selah.

  • Your love of tennis means nothing

    It seems in these trying times we live in that it is getting more difficult to navigate our relationships. One would think that we all needed therapy as sometimes it seems that we can’t do anything right.

    Either we are not working together or we’re going in two different directions. Or we are being to critical or not critical enough. We are too self-fish, too demanding, too righteous, too lazy … well you get the picture. I want to share a concept with you that may shine some light on how we are supposed to get along and how we can gravitate toward the positive and benefit both parties — and we do this with tennis.

    Now I’m not asking you to go play or watch tennis. What I want to do is borrow a few concepts to make a point.Imagine your troubled relationship as a doubles team in tennis. To play doubles in tennis you have to know a little bit about the strengths and weaknesses of your partner. Not only do you have to know them, but you have to use their strengths and protect their weakness. Did you catch that? I said you must use their strengths and protect their weaknesses.

    Some tennis players are slow moving to their weak side. Others might have a strong right hand, but a horrible back hand. When you learn these weaknesses and strengths you are able to set up your partner in a way that they are going to look like a pro. So if my partner is not as strong going to her left, guess who will play on her left side? You got it. Now, if I don’t play on her left side once I figure out that this is a weakness for her, shame on me!

    If my partner has a strong right hand, then my job when I serve is to place the ball so that when it returns, it comes to her right side. Of course, it’s impossible to make this happen every single time, but you can manipulate that serve enough that it happens more than enough to win.

    Why would I want to do that you ask? Well if I view my partner as truly being my partner, I have her best interest in mind. If you are not sure of this, you need to have a heart-to-heart with your partner and see if she or he feels that you hold their best interest. What a wonderful opportunity life provides if the significant other feels that you don’t have their best interest. Take this challenge and honor your mate by letting him or her know that you admire their strengths and you promise to protect their weaknesses. Humility will make them say it back to you. Where as love means absolutely nothing in tennis, it means everything in true relationships.

    Tennis anyone?

  • The whole equals the sum of it’s parts?

    In some instances the whole does equal the sum of it’s parts. But there are other instances when the whole is either greater or less than the sum of it’s parts. Why does this matter, you ask? Well, to fully understand the scope of any relationship it’s important to know what each participant in the relationship believes about the whole.

    Aristotle is first credited with saying the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts. In theories of proximity the whole is equal to the sum. In relativity, Einstein is credited for saying the whole is less than the sum of it’s parts. His logic was that the sums are greater by themselves than they are with a whole. Think for instance about the Miami Heat. LeBron James makes less money being one of the stars as opposed to being “the” star. As an individual he is worth more than he is playing with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh.

    So when it comes to relationships, there are some people who believe that the whole is greater than the sum. There are others who believe that the whole and the parts are equal. And still others who think that the whole is far less than the sum of the parts. If you are in a fulfilling relationship then it makes sense for you to believe that the whole is bigger than the sum of the parts because you and your mate both contribute to the relationship and sacrifice to make it work — for the greater good (the whole).

    Someone in a not so good relationship may feel that the whole is not worth the parts. Many who have gotten divorced have already arrived at this conclusion. If you have a lazy partner, or one who does not handle his or her business affairs properly, it makes it difficult to keep focused on the big picture (the whole). If you are the one that handles everything, makes all the money, takes responsibility, manages all the problems and you view your partner as simply another mouth to feed, then your whole is definitely less than.

    If you have recovered from a bad relationship and are on the rebound, you are now looking for balance in your life and relationships. You now begin to search for a relationship that will be equal to the sum of it’s parts. This new relationship is where the parts are “equally yolked” and you see your partner as an equal partner working in concert with you. You two are like-minded in thought and action and you share the same values.

    We find ourselves in various types of relationships. Right or wrong should be determined by the views of both parties in the relationship. If you are struggling in a relationship, I encourage you to seek counseling. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED CAN BE FIXED, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO FIX IT. All fixes take time. And if you both have a desire to allow the whole to be greater than the sum of it’s parts, then commit to making it work and seek professional help now.