ClydeStyle

Category: Success

  • Jesus — the way, truth, life (Part 3)

    TheWayTruthLife10What is your life worth?

    Each year thousands of people commit suicide because they don’t see their worth. We go through life trying to prove to ourselves that we are worth something. We put in overtime with our jobs, we help out when we can and we even give money away to prove our worth. Kids in school are troubled by bullies who point out all of their flaws. They take to heart everything negatively that is said to them without regard for the good things. When kids (and adults) are faced with these type of challenges it seems as though the only option is to stay at home and cry.

    Many people are walking around desiring to be with someone that will give them more self-esteem credits. Each time they date and get hurt, they lower their standards more and more in an attempt to lessen the pain. They end up settling for “G” candidate thinking that they are not worthy of the “A” candidate. Furthermore, in America we spend money. Everything revolves around money so it stands to reason that value would be placed on everything here. Our lives should not be for sale. It’s tough when ad campaigns tell you that you are too fat, too dark, too skinny, too short or your hair is not good enough, your feet are too big or even your teeth aren’t white enough. Plastic surgery is a billion dollar industry. Low self-esteem doesn’t care how much money you have or what color you are. As a result we really don’t know who we are.

    Thank God for Jesus! You see, he placed value on all of us when he died on the cross for the sins of the world. Through his sacrifice he is trying to tell us that we have value. His actions prove we have worth — why else would the Son of God waste his time on us? If John 3:16 is correct (and it is!) then God loved us and was eager to save us. He sent his son to die for the sins of the world and simply says let me give you rest.

    Dear readers, I hope you know that there is no better life than one spent serving the Lord and enjoying the blessings he gives us. To live a life reciprocating the love God thrusts toward us is clearly an abundant life. Jesus said that he is the way, the truth and the life and he is right. There is no way to the father except by the mediator he chose and that is Christ.

    Help me spread the word that salvation has been brought down to earth and by it God has added value to every life. All we have to do now is live like it!

  • Welcome 2013!

    2013Now that 2012 is gone and the fiscal cliff has been avoided, we can not get on to the real business of the new year and that is to make ourselves better. Each of the 365 days in this year will be special because they are from God. But what will we do with the time?

    I have pledge to lead a life stress-free and eating healthy. I want to exercise regularly and take more time to meditate. I am preparing to make the leap from being vegetarian to vegan and I want to spend more time alone. This is my year to take a break from the daily grind and take care of myself — spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. Everything that I do in 2013 will have 2014 in mind. This year should be a game changer.

    What about you dear reader? How will you spend 2013? Hopefully, you will not waste any of the days living with regret. Hopefully you will not take any of the days for granted, but seek to live each day to the fullest. Will you spend the year making promises you can’t keep? Will you spend time preparing to do something all year long without ever getting anything accomplished? Will you be able to walk away from bad relationships or people who bring you down instead of build you up? Will you stop being afraid of the unknown? Will you take responsibility for your own mistakes? Will you return to church? Will you save any money this year?

    Whatever it is that you decide to work on, I want to encourage you to go all out. Give your ideas a fair chance to breathe. Don’t allow those who doubt you to get under your skin. Turn a death ear to negativity and fly like an eagle this year. It is all up to you! Happy New Year!

  • Us big folks have to stick together!

    Here is my pre-summer appeal for America to wake up to the fact that we are waaaay too big! When I say way too big, I mean fat. America is obese and I would like to do something to help.

    I’m not talking about any diet you have ever heard of. This blog is specifically for big folks like me. As an experiment for the summer, please join me  in three months of healthy eating. I call it the plus, minus, plus diet (+-+). For the first month, you still eat everything you normally eat and I just want to add some things to your diet. Then, for the second month we will eliminate a few things. Finally, the third month we will add some additional things and see what Mr. Scale says then. (I’ve learned to respect the scale!) This will just cover June 3 – September 3. If you like it and this diet works for you, email me and I’ll give you the next three months. The next set is called minus, minus, plus (- – +). I lost 100 pounds in 13 months doing exactly what you are going to read next. Now of course I went from eating everything to being a pescetarian who doesn’t eat any dairy and still no bottom feeders. This happened in my ninth, 10th and 11th months of dieting, but I’ll talk about that at another time. The bottom line is I feel great and I want you to feel great too! Ready?

    For June:

    Eat whatever the heck you want (or just what you are currently eating), but you have to eat these additions first. It does not matter if you are diabetic or not. Make the proper adustments.

    You are to add five servings of fruit and five servings of vegetables. Two servings of vegetables can be cooked, but the rest (five pieces of fruit and three servings of vegetables) MUST be raw! When I first started doing this I thought it would be hard. I didn’t know the variety of vegetables I know now and I didn’t know how to appreciate a good green salad. I made green smoothies and  you can knock off two of each category that way. Be creative and make sure you get the quality stuff…you deserve the best! This is the point when I discovered the Whole Foods Market!

    The next thing to add is filtered water — lots of it! Undoubtedly your biological system needs to be flushed out so 60 to 80 ounces of filtered water would be appropriate. This is easiest to accomplish by just making water your drink of choice. Wake up in the morning and drink 20 ounces of water before you do anything. This will jump start your organs and help flush out anything leftover from the previous day. If you do it this way, it makes reaching 80 ounces easier. Your urine should be light yellow or clear — that’s what you are going for — clear pee! 🙂

    For July:

    You are going to look hotter than July when you take away the following things from your diet. You do not need to eat processed foods, dairy or red meat. I would love it if you would drop these things completely, but I know it is not realistic for everyone to do that. So, to make this as guilt free as possible, (and don’t forget to carry your additions from June into July), make an effort to eliminate these things. If you cannot go cold turkey, then start with a meatless Monday, or eat processed foods for just 10 days out of the month. Red meat should be treated like a delicacy and it would be better to eat chicken and fish than the red meats. You also need to stop all fried foods. It’s too hot to eat fried food anyway, is it? Purge these things from your diet and get active. Most of the time we eat because we’re bored. Get out an enjoy the summer!

    For August:

    At this point you should have had some level of success and you should be emailing me about the next phase. This month is easy because all you are going to add is consistent exercise. You should have more energy, but all you have to do is something that is consistent and will make you sweat. Walking is awesome! You need to take just 30 minutes each day (yes, seven days a week — it’s only three and a half hours!) to raise your heart rate, break a sweat and have fun. Consult your primary care physician before beginning any exercise program. This would be a great time to start with a personal trainer if you can. If not, there are several million books and dvds — the goal is to exercise. I strongly recommend getting a partner to exercise with. You two can be accountable to each other and be a source of encouragement. Don’t forget to carry June’s and July’s routine into August.

    There you have it! My + – + diet to a new and better YOU! Make sure you pray and meditate at the beginning and end of each day. I’m here if you need me!

  • Spring Forward

    One way to look at this weekend is to say that we have lost an hour or we had to repay the hour we stole in the fall.

    Benjamin Franklin came up with this idea of manipulating time in order to have more daylight. The point was it would give us another hour of light for productivity.

    We’re using the light, but the productivity part is questionable.

    I would like to borrow Ben’s concept of “springing forward” to make a point. Many are suffer with and from a troubled past. If we are not constantly reminding ourselves about what we’ve done wrong, there’s always someone else ready to take this job over for us.

    We are unable to move forward because we are stuck in the past. It’s hard to move ahead when you’re constantly looking back. We all need to consider the idea of “springing forward” to a better place than where we are today. To not be complacent or content with mediocrity, but be the best we can be.

    The Apostle Paul instructs us this way: “… forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:13,14).

    This is our springing forward! This is our time to let go of bad things from the past and press toward the mark today.

    Don’t allow the circumstances of the past to dictate what your future looks like.

    Spring forward my friend!

  • Do you believe?

    To believe.

    One of the most powerful things on the planet is man’s ability to believe.

    The bible tells us that whatever a man thinks in his heart defines who he is. If I truly believed I was royalty, then my state of mind would be just that. If I thought I was handsome, then to me I would be handsome.

    Unfortunately it works just as well going the other way — if I thought I was a failure, then I would be. If I thought that I was  worthless, then I would be.

    This also means that our minds can be manipulated into believing anything. In the story “The Emperors New Clothes” the ruler was duped into thinking that his servants had made him fine robes to wear when they had not. Because the emperor was convinced that they did, he went out in public very proud of his new garments.

    You may say that’s just a kids story, but let’s take a look at real life. There are people walking among us who believe that they are losers simply because no one challenges the contrary. Children who grew up in non-supporting homes, feel insecure and unsure of themselves.

    If knowing is really half the battle, then just imagine if people were given the proper support? What if instead of believing what we’ve been told, we examined everything we were told? What if instead of trusting our negative feels, we challenged them with empirical data?

    The point here is simple: Remember where you came from; accept the present; and work hard to impact your future in a positive way.

    Stability is coming!

  • Your love of tennis means nothing

    It seems in these trying times we live in that it is getting more difficult to navigate our relationships. One would think that we all needed therapy as sometimes it seems that we can’t do anything right.

    Either we are not working together or we’re going in two different directions. Or we are being to critical or not critical enough. We are too self-fish, too demanding, too righteous, too lazy … well you get the picture. I want to share a concept with you that may shine some light on how we are supposed to get along and how we can gravitate toward the positive and benefit both parties — and we do this with tennis.

    Now I’m not asking you to go play or watch tennis. What I want to do is borrow a few concepts to make a point.Imagine your troubled relationship as a doubles team in tennis. To play doubles in tennis you have to know a little bit about the strengths and weaknesses of your partner. Not only do you have to know them, but you have to use their strengths and protect their weakness. Did you catch that? I said you must use their strengths and protect their weaknesses.

    Some tennis players are slow moving to their weak side. Others might have a strong right hand, but a horrible back hand. When you learn these weaknesses and strengths you are able to set up your partner in a way that they are going to look like a pro. So if my partner is not as strong going to her left, guess who will play on her left side? You got it. Now, if I don’t play on her left side once I figure out that this is a weakness for her, shame on me!

    If my partner has a strong right hand, then my job when I serve is to place the ball so that when it returns, it comes to her right side. Of course, it’s impossible to make this happen every single time, but you can manipulate that serve enough that it happens more than enough to win.

    Why would I want to do that you ask? Well if I view my partner as truly being my partner, I have her best interest in mind. If you are not sure of this, you need to have a heart-to-heart with your partner and see if she or he feels that you hold their best interest. What a wonderful opportunity life provides if the significant other feels that you don’t have their best interest. Take this challenge and honor your mate by letting him or her know that you admire their strengths and you promise to protect their weaknesses. Humility will make them say it back to you. Where as love means absolutely nothing in tennis, it means everything in true relationships.

    Tennis anyone?

  • The whole equals the sum of it’s parts?

    In some instances the whole does equal the sum of it’s parts. But there are other instances when the whole is either greater or less than the sum of it’s parts. Why does this matter, you ask? Well, to fully understand the scope of any relationship it’s important to know what each participant in the relationship believes about the whole.

    Aristotle is first credited with saying the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts. In theories of proximity the whole is equal to the sum. In relativity, Einstein is credited for saying the whole is less than the sum of it’s parts. His logic was that the sums are greater by themselves than they are with a whole. Think for instance about the Miami Heat. LeBron James makes less money being one of the stars as opposed to being “the” star. As an individual he is worth more than he is playing with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh.

    So when it comes to relationships, there are some people who believe that the whole is greater than the sum. There are others who believe that the whole and the parts are equal. And still others who think that the whole is far less than the sum of the parts. If you are in a fulfilling relationship then it makes sense for you to believe that the whole is bigger than the sum of the parts because you and your mate both contribute to the relationship and sacrifice to make it work — for the greater good (the whole).

    Someone in a not so good relationship may feel that the whole is not worth the parts. Many who have gotten divorced have already arrived at this conclusion. If you have a lazy partner, or one who does not handle his or her business affairs properly, it makes it difficult to keep focused on the big picture (the whole). If you are the one that handles everything, makes all the money, takes responsibility, manages all the problems and you view your partner as simply another mouth to feed, then your whole is definitely less than.

    If you have recovered from a bad relationship and are on the rebound, you are now looking for balance in your life and relationships. You now begin to search for a relationship that will be equal to the sum of it’s parts. This new relationship is where the parts are “equally yolked” and you see your partner as an equal partner working in concert with you. You two are like-minded in thought and action and you share the same values.

    We find ourselves in various types of relationships. Right or wrong should be determined by the views of both parties in the relationship. If you are struggling in a relationship, I encourage you to seek counseling. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED CAN BE FIXED, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO FIX IT. All fixes take time. And if you both have a desire to allow the whole to be greater than the sum of it’s parts, then commit to making it work and seek professional help now.

  • What does Reparations look like?

    In the spirit of Black History Month, I’d love to enter into a serious discussion about reparations. It seems as though this has become a taboo topic, because of the tension it brings with Blacks and Whites. It’s sort of the new racism: If you are for it, then you want to get something for nothing. If you are against it, then you are a racist.

    This should not be.

    Maybe it’s another case that America is not smart enough to really deal with. I mean, as a country, we are already paying reparations to a variety of folks, including Native Americans, Japanese atomic bomb survivors and Holocaust survivors. The word” reparations” simply means “to repair.” This concept brings up the idea of being broken. The idea of pay is just one way; not THE way.

    I am in favor of reparations. But I think we need to be careful what we call reparations. I’m not for cutting a check for every person that had a link to slavery. Actually, I don’t think reparations should even be connected to slavery. You see, there are some things that our government did deliberately to African-Americans. These things had lasting effects that have made it difficult for some to become anything but a permanent underclass.

    There was a missed opportunity for the Bush Administration to redeem itself when the recession started. Consistent with his ideology of tax breaks and stimulus packages, Bush could have ordered reparations be given to the poor in the amount of $30,000 and say that it’s because of slavery. “Poor” would be defined as any African-American who is living in generational poverty (two generations or more). If Bush did this, he would have redeemed himself and the Republican party because he would have literally bought the poor black vote. At the same time,  in 2008, now President Barack Obama spoke against reparations. If we are being honest, we know that the 30k would have ended up right back into the economy in less than 30 days. What a jump start that would have been. It may have even ended the concept of White guilt … or maybe not.

    So here is what I would propose for reparations. What I would like to see happen is to give opportunity, not money. The Federal Housing Administration did not do right by minorities in the 1930s. Low interest rate loans were given to White people to buy nice homes and the loans had nothing to do with their credit. They got those home loans because of the color of their skin. I say we do the same thing today. Identify the disenfranchised of our time and help them into a home that, on their own, they could never get. I don’t mean to give a mansion away to the poor, but I do mean to follow the example of Habitat for Humanity and make that single mom with four kids a homeowner. Literally, grant her a pass on the credit score and give her a loan to have a reasonable mortgage payment not to exceed $400 a month. This house has to be in a suburban area with a better than average school system. This could easily be done. As a country we’ve done it before.

    The second thing I would do is grant 10 years of government paid education (or forgiveness if you have school loans and finished your degree). This would allow any minority who is on welfare and in a dead end career to elevate themselves higher. They would have to put in the work though. They could never be on academic probation and they would have to have a life coach. This would grant those who have had hard lives to get a second chance to fix some of the problems they have had.

    The sad part of all this is that most would not take advantage of it. Nevertheless, it’s something that should be done. It’s finally an opportunity to get ahead with the assistance of your government working in your favor. This is what reparations should look like.

  • Resolutions should be a way of life

    Of the 50 percent of Americans who make resolutions, 90 percent of them break their resolution by the middle of January.

    It seems that the end of a year gives us a temporary conscience. It bothers us enough to acknowledge that there are things in our lives that need fixing, but nothing about the New Year makes us want to do anything more than admit it and move on.

    We know that there are people who don’t need to be in our lives and there are things we need to just flat out stop doing. Whether that is ending a destructive relationship or maintaining a healthy blood sugar level, we need to be far more serious about this.

    Here is a practical way to keep your resolutions. Don’t do a resolution for a year; do them by the day, hour or even minute.

    A resolution is a way of admitting we’re wrong and need to be better regarding something in our life. Why not make the idea of resolving ourselves a way of life? What would be wrong with keeping the imperfection ever before us – even to the point of letting others know that you recognize the need to change in this area. Then legitimately work on it. Really commit to the change and raising the bar of expectation in your life.

    By doing this daily, I think you will find that those around you will begin to acknowledge a different you. After all, that’s what we all want anyway, right?

  • There are still some who can’t see the dream

    This week we honor a man who dared to buck the system and show the powers that be what they really looked like. A man who said he had a dream and shouted it from the mountain tops. A preacher worthy of a celebration in his honor because of what he stood for, what he taught and what he ultimately died for.

    Some believe that Martin Luther King, Jr., would have been America’s first African-American president had he not been gunned down by an assassin’s bullet. I believe that if that would have happened he would clearly have ended up being America’s fifth assassinated president. I say this because too many people still don’t see the dream.

    We can’t help where we came from and how we were raised, but King’s dream would work much better in another country than it would in ours. Sad, but true. The only thing we as American’s can agree on seems to be “gain” or “gain at someone else’s expense.”

    We profit on everything. If it can be sold and someone can make money, then so be it because, after all, that’s what we all really wanted. Right?

    Dr. King hoped that all children would have an equal opportunity to be educated and earn a living like everyone else. He wanted to see people of different races together in peace and harmony without strife. He wanted to see hate eliminated.

    What actually happened is more people have the opportunity to get into most colleges, but there is still an elite group that exists as gatekeepers. They still hire who they want. There are two places where you will always see mixed races in America together and that is the welfare line and the soup kitchen. And as for hate, it can’t be eliminated as long as love is in need of love.

    I wish there was a better message here. But in the wake of hatred spread throughout our political system, members of Congress getting shot and companies profiting on the sickness of others, clearly there are still folks who don’t get Dr. King’s dream.