ClydeStyle

Category: Taking Responsibility

  • The sadness of Veterans Day still looms

    Every year at this time, I get sad. I’m sad because I know that there are millions of veterans without benefits. We spend so much of our national budget on weapons of mass destruction and maintaining a strong military, but we’re not making good on our promises to the men and women who risked their lives.

    Neither political party has addressed this. You can see homeless vets, vets on drugs, and more struggling with debt from medical complications.

    Meanwhile, our government, still trying to fight the good fight, is helping other countries  like Isreal and Ukraine while our folks struggle.

    It seems that in the 21 century, we would err on the side of people and rather have a scenario where our veterans are overpaid than under.

    This problem seems so easy to handle, but because our veterans are not useful to our cause anymore, we have thrown them away.

    What’s worse is that there is a divide among the veterans between the ones receiving benefits and the ones who don’t. How can they be a band of brothers on the battlefield, but once we get back home, it’s every man for himself?

    I don’t celebrate Veterans Day because of this. I wish the nation wouldn’t be celebrated either until we have corrected this atrocity!

  • Politics as usual: They don’t really care about us

    Things are ramping up for the 2024 elections, and in every election year, politicians attempt to tell us what really is important. Their talking points start off with, “The American people want this…” Make no mistake, the elections are never for the American people. In a democracy, elections are used to make the people believe they have a say or control of what is happening in their country.

    Talking points work like worms against a fish. Politicians debate and talk about topics that interest the general population, but never are these things changeable. For example, President Joe Biden, who is the architect of the 94′ crimes bill responsible for putting millions of minorities in prison, went on the radio show The Breakfast Club and said if Black people did not vote for him, they weren’t Black. He talked about police shooting unarmed Black people was a problem; he talked about voting rights being a priority; he talked about the criminal justice system being a problem, but they didn’t make his radar once he was elected.

    What Biden did is what every Democrat does: Their interest is not in helping minorities but in helping the base. Republicans are the same with favoring their base. The problem is the majority of the people in both bases are white!

    So then brown people continue to struggle with immigration and black people struggle with everything else. Doing things for the masses or serving you base doesn’t scratch the surface of the people for minorities.

    When I say minorities, I am talking about people in America who make under 80k per year. The best part of America is the ability to earn money. A sample of all races is earning money in America, but the overwhelming majority of Americans are struggling. I am specifically saying that there is not much being done to help their situations. Some temporary Covid protocols made a difference for a short while, but these benefits don’t compare to the benefits given to citizens in other countries.

    So after each election, politicians prove to the masses that they don’t care about us. We should begin hearing about the “big scare” that the democrats do every election year to cause fear among the people of the dangers of not voting democrat. The Republicans do they same thing on their side, and while the fear is increased, the benefits for the poor decrease. Don’t think this is a racial divide because it isn’t. This divides us by class.

    The greatest vote you can make to a politician is to contribute money to their campaign because that’s who will be satisfied with the win. Imagine if you are a politician and one constituent gives you $50, and another gives you $1000 per month. Who would you listen to?

    Until this system changes, the common man will always get the shaft during the elections.

  • You don’t need an apology

    Forgiveness is a concept that our country isn’t too keen on as we are definitely people for revenge. Whenever someone’s crime upsets our social norm, we want blood.

    Mass shooters, pedophiles, rapists, bad police officers, repeat offenders, men who hit women, or anyone who is against the LGBTQ community are all subject to revenge following their miscues. But in actuality, forgiveness doesn’t require an apology. Of course, it would be nice to have one, but it is not required. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the infraction as much as it has to do with you making a decision.

    Forgiveness is a choice. It is frivolous to measure sins or even label them from bad to worse. Forgiveness involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. Why would you do that? Because hate in your heart consumes. It burns like fire.

    There are 3 types of forgiveness: 1) Exoneration where a person genuinely makes a mistake; 2) Forbearance where the person gives a partial apology, but the offense did not call for a more extreme level; 3) Release where there is no acknowledgement of hurt. The person never even took responsibility for the pain they caused. So which one do you think God would want you to exercise? Here is a hint: God would want you to practice the one you need.

    I don’t know about you, but I need to practice release because that is the one I need from God. The Greek word for forgiveness in scripture literally means “to let go,” and the context is the act of pardoning an offender.

    So, if I am to practice forgiveness from the Bible, it must be the one I expect from God because the scriptures tell us that God is going to forgive the same way we do. Now, who needs an apology?

  • Lies create new memories. Believe me?

    So I used to believe that there were people who had selective hearing, meaning that they knew the truth but only decided to remember parts of it.

    Our brains are incredible instruments and wonderful tools of learning. We are not even using the power nor have reached the full potential of our brains. But we have found ways to full it.

    A recent study out of Brandeis University holds that we believe the lies we tell are the truth in as little as 45 minutes. Now, before you dismiss this study and start talking about flaws in the research you don’t know about, hear me out.

    Researchers used this thing called an electroencephalogrphy (EEG) to monitor the brain activities of both older and younger study subjects while they gave truthful and false answers to questions. The study found that the older ages (60 to 90) were way more likely to accept a lie they told as the truth than the younger ages 18 to 24.

    Psychology professor Laura Paige said of the findings: “Once they’ve committed to a lie, it’s going to alter whether they remember doing something.”

    The EEG data revealed that a lie disrupts the brain processes responsible for working memory and embeds itself in memory and comes to feel as real as the truth.

    “Lying alters memory … it creates a new memory for something that didn’t happen,” said Paige.

    I guess this may be the reason the Bible condemns lying.

  • Reparations solution: Itemize

    There has been much discussion over the last few years regarding reparations, and as more people begin to understand the necessity of giving reparations, how to administer it will be the next conversation.

    What I have learned over the years is that nobody believes Blacks have been treated fairly, but nobody takes responsibility for the infractions. We have definitely turned a blind eye on the injustices and disparities created in our society.

    Also, people are still debating about slavery being the main reason for reparations, but I don’t believe anyone should be getting reparations for slavery. The reason is because there are at least 10 other reasons to do it.

    I won’t take the time to go through all of them, but we’ll look at a few just for kicks and grins!

    First, the Federal Housing Administration (FDA) was supposed to help all Americans get loans for housing. They had many payouts over the years but didn’t make their first payment to a minority until 1971 – that’s a 41-year problem because the FHA was established in 1930.

    Second, the police all across America have been predatory to Black males. This is easily proven by the unfair number of tickets, arrests, and conviction rates compared to other groups.

    Third, the real estate market has done an outstanding job limiting where minorities can move and making them live it areas where the property value is horrible. Moreover, they were extremely unfair in granting loans. They were biased when it came to loans, interest rates, amount of loans, credit criteria, and length of loans.

    Fourth, you would think that a person with the same experience, same education, and same ambition would get the same pay. Well, in America, white men have always gotten at least 38 percent more than anyone else for the same job with the same specs. This still happens today.

    Five, there have been laws created to expressly suppress, oppress, and stiffle the financial and educational wealth of minorities in this country.

    So, if we were to simply get the math wizards to calculate the damage of just these 5 things, we would get an idea of the true offense. It’s not a matter of just writing a check, either. You can not make up time and development, and something has to happen to ensure we never go backward.

    We have spent more than 75 billion dollars helping Ukraine in their fight with Russia. What about the fight we have here at home?

  • Have gun, will travel

    This phrase from the 50s is all about being ready to do anything. There was even a show about it back then, but the makers of this show would have never imagined that their callous attitude about the use of guns would be trumped by the views held currently about gun use.

    I wonder how many folks believe the founding fathers were thinking of automatic weapons when they wrote in the constitution for us to have the right to bear arms?

    What is more scary is that in recent months, there have been some really senseless shootings. There have been people shot for going to the wrong house, getting in the wrong car, standing around doing nothing, and going to a sweet 16 party. It seems as though the school shootings, church shootings, and other mass shootings are old news.

    Have we gotten bored with shootings?

    And then, Congress can’t seem to find the courage to solve this very simple problem. The answer is not as easy as changing gun laws or even outlawing certain guns because there are too many guns available.

    If we take the position that we all have to die of something or you feel that as long as it is not your kid getting shot, then who cares? It is easy to see how votes can be purchased for a price, and the NRA has deep pockets. Their average spending is around 3.2 million per year, buying the votes of senators and other law makers.

    The level of hypocrisy has to stop. Clearly, the answer will not come on a federal level. It has to take place state by state. Local organizing is the answer, and the time to do it is now. Have political power, will travel!

  • Happiness is still two kinds of ice cream

    Are you happy??

    Well first let us define our terms because sometimes we confuse happiness with joy. Joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness and it’s based on a response to a known stimulus. Jesus is Lord of us all. That is a fact to all who believe and as long Jesus maintains his current position as both Lord and Christ, we will remain full of joy despite our current circumstances.

    Happiness is similar. It is a feeling or showing of pleasure or contentment toward a situation or circumstance. Both joy and happiness begin in your brain.

    Not to get too technical but Endorphins are created in your pituitary gland and hypothalamus, both located in the brain. Endorphins are a type of neurotransmitter, or messenger in your body. They attach to your brain’s reward centers (opioid receptors) and carry signals across your nervous system which tells the rest of your body you’re happy. Imaging studies suggest that the happiness response originates partly in the limbic cortex. Another area called the precuneus also plays a role.

    Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin along with endorphins are the hormones that are responsible for our happiness. Dopamine is the main contributor as it is stimulated by compliments, good decisions and anything that makes you feel good.

    So a song or movie can change your mood or you can just decide to be happy or sad. You can choose to be angry or any of the emotions. Someone can commit an offense against you and instead of being angry, you can choose to be content. You don’t have to respond with anger — that’s just the first choice of your flesh when something happens but like a radio station in the car, you can choose another station when you don’t like the song.

    This process is a higher level of self-control which is possible to achieve. You would be teaching your body how to wait on you for the response instead of selecting the reaction for you. It takes practice but you can do it. One exercise I use to help me in this process is to practice the emotions often when there is no stimulus for them. I can be angry when I want to and I can be happy when I chose to as well and I can feel it in my body.

    The title of this blog simply means that happiness simply requires a cause to be. I keep a happy cause locked and loaded in my mind for when I need a different response to things — all facts, no fluff.

    Give it a try and see if we can make the world a happier place together!!!

  • History and truth need validation

    We live in a time that has the phrase “fake news” circulating through our language. Most of our country looks back at history and tries to cover up the wrong doing because of guilt. In fact, the further back we go the worst it gets. Our country is very divided which was the intent of some. We actually have people who are hoping for another civil war. Because of all these things and more, our history needs to be fact checked and validated.

    The greatest reason for this is so that we don’t repeat the mistakes. It’s always difficult to hold someone accountable in their ignorance. And it’s even more tedious to suffer someone through their wrongdoing. It really becomes taxing on everybody because our ignorance and forgetfulness tends to effect us in great numbers.

    Recently, the Queen of England died. She was on the throne for 70 years and whether she was a figure head or not, that monarch has a ton of innocent blood on it’s hands. Colonization of countries was their specialty and to reign over a place that terrorized countries for a living is not fashionable at all. Their entanglement in South Africa, Jamaica, Barbados and other places was absolutely horrible. But I guess if you live long enough people forget. She lost family members recently because they could no longer endure the racism. But I digress.

    America has a reputation for building weapons on mass destruction, incarcerating it’s citizens and racism. The Bill of Rights and freedoms we have on paper are great until they aren’t. Sure there are worse places you could live but measuring and comparing us based on our resources and what’s actually possible for us to do, we are definitely found lacking.

    This is a perfect place to live if you are wealthy — but that’s only one percent. For the rest of the 99 percent we have varying degrees of contentment and down right bankrupt individuals who are barely keeping their head above water. We have been repeating our past and finding better ways to be convert in our repeats. Our problems are systemic and design to maintain the status quo.

    As a country, we need to figure out exactly what we are trying to do and be honest about it. If we really have a plan to continue to disenfranchise citizens then say that. But based on resources, our country could be a place where everyone thrives.

    We need the correct history so that we can be more tolerant of each other. There are way too many injustices to name here but if we really wanted to correct the problems we have to start with admitting the wrong.

    We need a history check and an honest conversation about what type of country we really want to be.

  • Happy appreciation day!

    Only part of the United States participates in this annual ritual known as Sweetest Day and I have been doing it wrong. Whereas Valentines Day is to celebrate romantic love, Sweetest Day is to appreciate all the folks in your life for who they are. Male or female doesn’t matter — it’s just a day of appreciation.

    Granted Hallmark gets excited when in comes around probably more than anyone else but in these tough times it’s good to take a day and evaluate relationships and appreciate them.

    I was reading an article about a woman who dropped her boyfriend off at Kroger and she stayed in the car. While she waited on him she took the opportunity to go through his phone only to discover he may have been having an inappropriate relationship with her sister.

    She was so enraged that she waited for him to come out of the store and she ran him over with the van — seriously injuring him and killing an innocent person walking out behind him. She then, stops the van, gets out and begins to attack her boyfriend while he is lying on the ground wounded.

    It appears as though she snapped and could not bear the information she discovered while invading his privacy. It is unclear if the sister was a minor or not but whatever she found, she was in that moment willing to give up or greatly alter her own life because of it. She, of course, is now facing a ton of charges and if convicted she will get life in prison.

    There are so many things wrong with this scenario. It is for this reason why we need to really evaluate the relationships we have to see if they are for better or for worse. To truly celebrate Sweetest Day we should first purge the toxic relationships and covet the really good ones. So here’s to all of you who are making this life better for others! The world would be nothing without you!

  • Who made marriage sacred?

    Most people, in reading the headline of this blog post would say that God made marriage sacred. Much of what we know about marriage is really heresy and misinterpreted biblical text. Much of our marriage information was learned from movies and TV shows and so it’s really difficult to separate fact from fiction.

    The other problem we face in our understanding is which viewpoint we choose to believe. You see, it’s not enough to just do a Google search or go ask your local pastor. We must consider too whether the information is coming from a conservative, moderate or liberal point-of-view as the three do not agree.

    So how can you tell which one is right? Is it even possible to have an absolute truth to the marriage question? Most of our beliefs will be shaped around the generation we are from. That doesn’t make the stance right or wrong, just familiar. So is your familiarity more correct than mine?

    From my generation, marriage is honorable among all and it is between a male and female just as it is written in the bible. My generation was not accepting of same-sex marriage and really felt “funny” about interracial marriage. We believed that multiple marriages at the same time has it’s highlights, but would be a bad thing overall. And my generation frowned upon divorce but it was growing in popularity.

    The generation before me believe marriage was between a man and a woman and divorce was flat out wrong. They believed there were men’s roles and women’s role and as long as each person “stayed in their lane” the marriage would be considered successful.

    The generation after me believes that marriage is none of your business and whatever a person decides to do and who they decide to do it with is their business. If two men want to be married then that is their business. If you are in love with a sheep and want that animal to be your wife, help yourself but above all, they believe, people should mind their business.

    As for the biblical interpretation, you would think that because the Bible describes marriage as a covenant that it should be sacred. However, covenants are broken all the time (Israel was enslaved due to their covenant breaking with God) and marriage didn’t become sacred until the Catholic church deemed it that in the 12th century.

    Furthermore, the vows that you said at your marriage and definitely the ones in the movies and on TV are not biblical. The whole love, honor and obey line was written by a Baptist pastor. Divorce was allowed when the covenant was violated — meaning you broke your promise so the contract is dissolved. Divorce is a sin but not an unforgivable one. The sin of divorce is managed the same way lying, murder, covetousness and stealing are managed: You repent.

    The key to understanding and having a successful marriage is about choice. You make a choice to stay with someone and work things out. And it is your choice! It’s your life and you decide your barriers and boundaries and be at peace. If you are with someone who is please to dwell with you then cherish them. The God that loves you would not want you in a toxic situation waiting on him to intervene. He never said he would. He already gave you choice!