ClydeStyle

Category: Taking Responsibility

  • Unconditional marriage?

    unconditional loveSo we know that the divorce rate is really high. But it doesn’t have to be. Is it really possible that all of these divorced people just happened to marry the wrong person?

    I know that there have been some in terrible abusive relationships and for safety reasons they had to get out. But the lion share of divorces stem from unmet expectations and selfish motives.

    No one told them that unconditional love was supposed to be brought to the marriage, not generated from within.

    They didn’t know that forgiveness wasn’t optional when they said “I do” and that expectations were only conditions you place on yourself.

    They were ignorant to what things should have been the most important. It’s a bad feeling to be judged by how much money you make, how you dress, how shapely your hips are or the size of your breasts. It’s extremely shallow for someone to expect their own version of what’s perfect to be matched or exceeded by their partner.

    Of all the scriptures we take literally, no one bothered to take Jesus seriously when he said, “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out!” Or “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off!” (Matt. 5:29-30).

    The simple fix for marriage is for each party to take a step back and really look at what they are bringing to the table. What you are bringing to the table can’t just look good to you alone. It needs to be valuable to the person you pledged to live forever with.

    If it is not, and it probably isn’t, the two of you need to talk and stop playing married and truly work at being married.

  • Thank God! Spring is here!

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    Spring symbolizes a new beginning. The death of winter is gone and all things are made new. Spring is like a second chance.

    Have you ever been in an unhealthy relationship? Or worked a dead-end job that stressed you out whenever you thought about the drive to it? Or how about a bad circumstance that needs to end? The advent of spring should be the start of a new beginning for you.

    New beginnings are symbolized in scripture by the number eight. It means the next in a new series or a new beginning. For example, when Noah was told to build the ark and warn the wicked world that God was angry, he preached about the next chapter or new beginning the world would take. You see, God was getting ready to start over and Noah and everyone who listened to him would be part of that new series.

    It is no wonder then in 1 Peter 3:20 that it says of Noah’s time that “8 souls were saved by water”. And in 2 Pet. 2:5, Noah is referred to as a preacher of righteousness and called the “eighth person”. I would’ve  thought with Noah being the head of his household, he would be number 1. This text calls him the eighth person for a reason: He represents the new beginning. He was the next in a new series.

    There are many others in scripture that could be pointed out, but the point is to show the healing power of Spring. This is your new beginning. What are you going to do with it? The rest of your year will be dictated by what you do now, today, during the spring season.

    It’s time to stop planning and making excuses. Now is the time for action! Don’t let everything around you change and become beautiful and you stay the same.

    You deserve a new beginning. God knew that and allowed you to live and see the Spring. Make the most of it! This is your season!

  • Jesus — The Good Shepherd

    ShepherdSheep are not the smartest animals. I mean, they really need caring for and who better to care for them than a shepherd. There is supposed to be a little shepherd in all of us. As Christians who are supposed to imitate Christ, we need to embrace the shepherd within.

    Look around you. There are many people who struggle with life’s challenges and make horrible decisions. We witness their calamity and in most cases we walk on by. Jesus said in John 10:11, “I am the Good Shepherd!” He explained that he was different from those who help because they are looking to get something out of helping. Jesus helps because it’s his nature.

    This being true, all who have been crucified with Christ have Christ living in them. This means that the life we now live in the flesh is a life of faith in the son of God who loved us and died for us (Gal. 2:20). So then, the Christ in me is a shepherd. And I need to take my part in the progression of the sheep. We have the ability in Christ to be game changers for some people. We know things, do things and have experienced things that would help others. A good shepherd searches for opportunities to do just that. And it’s easy to help people you know and care about. But what about the people who struggle that you don’t know? What kind of world would it be if we all took our “good shepherd” calling seriously? Albert Einstein said, “The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.”

    The Good Shepherd was willing to lay down his life for the sheep. Dear reader, Jesus is inviting all of his disciples to be shepherds and lead those less fortunate to a path of righteousness. He wants us to join him in loving and caring for all mankind. Now what are you willing to do?

  • Lessons confirmed in 2012

    20130104-234856.jpgIf you are reading this blog, then once again there were foolish folks that believed the world ended a few weeks ago. We should all be thankful we made it out of 2012.

    I have to say that I didn’t learn any “new” lessons, but I definitely confirmed some lessons I thought I knew. It’s always good to recap the previous year so that the next year is better. Each year we’re supposed to get better. Life is supposed to get easier. After all we matured didn’t we?

    Well, I hope that you are enjoying the new year and you are already working your plan of action to make 2013 better than 2012. With that said, here are the top 5 things I confirmed in 2012. I’d love to hear about your list.

    1) Read more non-fiction books and watch less TV! This one is a no-brainer. TV is run by corporate America and it is designed for one thing: To get you to buy the ads you see. There is science that supports the ability for ads to reach your subconscious mind. Your spending habits are linked to this. Now before you go thinking that I’m crazy, there is a company called NeuroFocus and they probe consumers subconscious by using Electroencephalography (I’m not smart enough to make up a word like this). The other problem with TV other than being a big waste of time is how your body handles your emotional reactions to shows. For example, whenever you get angry, your blood pressure rises and your arteries take a hit especially among older groups. So when you get so into a character on a show and their actions make you angry, your body doesn’t say, “Oh, you’re just watching TV.” Since your body can’t tell the difference, it handles that situation as if you were really angry.

    2) Life is too short so to maximize your time you should spend time letting the people close to you know how important they are to you. Your circle of trust should know who they are. Your family should know they are loved because they heard you say it as well as demonstrate it. You should make sure you are living forgiven meaning that no one should die thinking you have a grudge with them or that you thought ill of them. Be known as a giver and allow others to benefit from your generosity — not just your money, but even more important is your time.

    3) Get your house in order and keep it that way. This means that no matter how old you are the people close to you should know your advance directives and your wishes at end of life. We don’t know when our time is up, so it’s always a good thing — no matter how old you are — to have a plan and let those closest to you know what your plan is and the role they play in that plan. If you have done this, every year it’s a good idea to make sure it is current and your wishes are still the same. You want to make sure that the people involved in your plan at the end of life are still willing to carry out your wishes at the end.

    4) Everyone needs a day of rest. God rested from his labors on the seventh day and he created us with the idea that we would need a break from the natural rhythm of life to reset. There is an awesome book written by Dr. Marva Dawn called “Keeping the Sabbath Holy” and she beautifully describes this concept and gives a lot of great information on the topic.

    5) One of the most hurtful things is to have expectations for someone or something and get let down. It would help us all to remember that in America we make money. That’s what we do above all else. There are some secondary things that we do, but due to big business and politics, our system is flawed. Case in point: Sandy relief was recently left for the next session of congress because there was so much other stuff (like a new roof for the Smithsonian Institute) written into the bill. One would think that a bill with the subject Sandy Relief fund would only include things immediately related to people. I’m sure the Smithsonian probably does need a new roof, but at this point it is at the expense of the Sandy survivors. Our wars are about money and greed. There is an excellent documentary series by Oliver Stone on Showtime that talks about the untold history of the United States. It’s a sobering look at how the world sees and has seen our country over the years. This documentary has challenged me to re-evaluate what’s important to me and to help make America truly beautiful. Make the most of 2013 my friend!

  • I wish I could gift wrap common sense this year

    tumblr_m6z628lfAf1r566gro1_500Years ago I would have said that it seems around this time of the year that people loose their minds when it comes to shopping. Now I have to say that all year round there are constant reminders that all sense is not common.

    This year in particular it is really difficult to see anyone down on their luck when you go to the malls. People are shopping, but the shopping experience is not jolly. There are lots of attitudes, ignorance, selfishness and foolishness to go around — and that just the store employees. In addition, customers are ungrateful, unruly, liars and theives — and I saw all of this in just two hours at the mall.

    I couldn’t help but wonder wht is this all for? Is it all to make someone in a day feel like we should have made them feel all year? Is it our way of trying to buy off someone’s forgiveness instead of just apologizing? Or are we trying to make up for lost time or for not being there or for someone missing?

    Wouldn’t it be nice if we spent the entire year helping other people and then used this time of the year thanking folks for it? Imagine if we all had the mission of making a difference in our communities and that the more we made a difference, the less taxes we had to pay. Wouldn’t it be cool if thinking was a requirement and you were given tickets for not thinking in public? I guess the more we live the lesson is the same, all sense ain’t common! I just wish I could have Santa bring this gift to a few folks so that they can have a better New Year!

  • Something must be done about voter suppression

    Wow! What an election!

    I’m writing this blog hours before the final counts are in, but I wanted to put this idea out into the universe. Today it took me 2.5 hours to vote –that was the longest For me since I became eligible to vote. There were two precincts voting in one place and it was obvious that voter suppression was at play.

    The city I live in is a metro area to Detroit. There are lots of townhomes, apartments, condos and houses in this area. Instead of dividing the two precincts in my area by addresses, congressional districts or even a Jedi using the force, someone decided that the homowners should vote in one precinct and everyone else in the other.

    The result: homeowners could vote in less time than it takes to make a country breakfast. The other group might as well been standing in line for a roller coaster ride at cedar point on their busiest day! This was not just a divide by race (because there were some African-Americans disproportionate in each group) but financially as well.

    As I stood in line I had this idea; what if before the election a proposal to impeach the Secretary of State was on the ballot in every state? So, if you didn’t like the way voting was arranged then you could do something about it immediately.

    It’s as if minorities in America expect things to be unfair. We put up with all kinds of “stuff” assuming that we won’t get a fair shake in this country. I’m still wondering why voter suppression is not a federal offense punishable by mandatory jail time. Lol! I’m not wondering…I know why and so do you.

    Voter suppression is as blatant now as it was when African-Americans were first given the right to vote. All of this is being done to “buy” our government. If “we the people” continue to lay down for these shenanigans then our government will be up for sale. If we sell our government into slavery, then doesn’t that make us all slaves?

  • A month before the election and there’s nothing to get excited about

    Don’t you just hate election season?

    The worst of us comes out during this time. We actually get a glimpse at how divided our country really is. It’s sad that we are forced to choose sides.

    The majority of the US is poor and hopeful that the election may change something in their favor. The wealthy are hoping for the same thing.

    In our country we play with a lot of things, particularly terms. We will use a word that commonly means one thing, but we will give it another meaning. We even act as though all things are equal, when clearly they are not. For example, it bothers me every time a politician promises to create jobs. I often wonder what kind of jobs.

    Even when they say the Obama administration has created X amount of jobs, what does that really mean? Is this a job that will allow a man to take care of his family or will the same man need three of these newly created jobs to do that?

    Then the other party says, “His economic policies have failed us!” They want us to believe that they could have fixed every that happened during the Bush years. They say they would have created even more jobs. You know me, I then wonder what kind of jobs? No one ever talks about what kind of jobs. They just say jobs.

    If you have been watching, I told you in the summer that this election would be the most expensive election in US history. And in the midst of the homeless and jobless, we will elect someone who will make more money being president than they did before they got the position. And they will make even more money when they exit the presidency than they made as president.

    It’s October and I’m already tired of these ads. I don’t know about you, but this is depressing to me. Despite everything, please vote. Your voice will be heard. It’s one of our rights that people died for. It’s the least you could do.

    It makes me long for the return of Jesus. Only he can make things fair.

  • Greet one another

    An acute characteristic of a Christian ought to be that he or she is very friendly. I have heard many congregations say that they are the friendliest church around, but most times when you attend you can barely get a handshake.

    Christ seemed to have a natural way with people. It always fascinates me that crowds of sinner hung around just to hear what he had to say. Jesus was always gentle with them. He never made the feel like they were sinners. He never made them feel like he was better than them. And he never made them feel like they didn’t belong.

    But beyond making them feel welcomed, through his words he always gave them something valuable – the words of life.

    Every moment was like a teaching moment for Jesus. He never lost sight of his mission and he understood that how he greeted people would directly effect his ministry. He never gave people a license to sin or made them feel comfortable in sin. What Jesus did was profound: He accepted where they were in life and gave them words to move them forward.

    The woman he met at the well in John 4 is a great example. Despite the obvious differences of Jesus being Jewish and the woman being a Samaritan, Jesus did something to show her instant acceptance. He asked her for a drink of water. When she heard the question she had a hard time digesting it. She knew he didn’t have anything to drink with meaning that he would have to drink from her cup.

    That’s not something a Jewish person would have done at that time. This would have been worse than a White person drinking from the “colored” fountain in Mississippi in 1930!

    Jesus with one question did more to build a relationship with someone different than many Christians do today. To have the same Spirit of Christ we have to have the ability and desire to walk in his steps.

  • Another school year in the books!

    Well, it’s June and that means most kids (and some are already out) are wrapping up another school year. It seems like they just started school and now it’s over. I used to get caught off guard every time school ended for the summer. By off guard I mean every year I would say that I wanted my kids to be active and have a fun, educational summer, but I had no idea of what they would do.

    I was so used to seeing kids go wild over the summer! Teachers even prepare to received these little wild ones in the fall. Someone had to put a stop to this!

    I decided that it was time for my kids to make good use of the summer and as much as I wanted them to be active and have fun, I also wanted them to not stop learning. I wanted them to have fun learning and stimulate their minds as well as their physical bodies. Here is a list of five things that I have used in the past to accomplish this goal.

    Summer bucket list:

    1) Visit the library weekly — the library is a fun and inexpensive way to stimulate the mind of your child. This is great for the whole family. The library has a full list of activities to enjoy.

    2) Take a field trip with the kids once a month and — dare I say — have them do a report on what they learned. I had to pay my kids for this, but they did learn. We went to museums, festivals and even a concert. These become great conversation pieces at the dinner table.

    3) Have your children write a reaction paper to the movies they watch over the summer. They can discuss the movies with you and then put their thoughts down on paper.

    4) Teach your children about the wonderful fruits and vegetables that come in season over the summer.

    5) Cook with your children so they learn how to be self sufficient and they get hands on learning.

    These are my top 5. You can also make sure they are reading books, they have chores to do regularly and you limited their television viewing. Kids tend to watch more TV in the summer than any other time of the year. More than anything else, make it a summer that they can remember. Don’t forget that you are building life long memories.