ClydeStyle

Category: Time

  • Convenience is killing us

    What is the cost of convenience these days? It seems like the better we are technologically, the worse off we get.

    Artificial Intelligence says the phrase “convenience is killing us” means that our constant pursuit of easy and readily available options, often in the form of processed foods, fast services, and readily accessible technology, is negatively impacting our health, environment, and overall well-being by encouraging laziness, poor dietary choices, and a lack of meaningful engagement with our surroundings; essentially, prioritizing immediate comfort over long-term health and sustainability.

    It has always been this way. For example, in the 1700s, we would have a wood-burning stove and a fireplace, and between the two, the family would be gathered together in one room to stay warm. The kids would be lying on the floor near the fireplace. Mama would be in her rocking chair knitting, and Papa would be smoking his pipe and reading to the family from the “good book,” and there would be good, stimulating discussion and togetherness.

    In 1830, a Scottish inventor created the thermostat, and with it, heat could be dispersed throughout all the rooms in the house with a controlled temperature and there was no need to gather together at the end of the day. By the 1900s, everyone was separated in their own rooms doing their own things. So much for togetherness.

    If you ask a person in their 90s about the way things were, you would discover that to them, it seems like we as a country are in one big hurry for nothing. Everything is fast and in a hurray. We want things now. No waiting! Patience is gone.

    And in our haste, we settled for less quality. In addition, we have sacrificed our health, created social isolation, lacked physical activity, created a negative environmental impact, and created mental health concerns. Is it really worth it?

  • Grieving doesn’t have to ruin Christmas

    Every year, without fail, some family is dealing with the loss of a loved one, and it is their first holiday season without the deceased.

    It hurts. There is a serious sense of loss, confusion, anxiety, and sadness. The world has moved on where these families are stuck in time… grieving.

    The following are some real solutions to how to handle this difficult time. Tradition is very powerful, and in our subconscious, we want to make this time of the year as normal as possible. But we don’t have to. The acknowledgment that your family is experiencing one of life’s difficulties is therapeutic. In times like these, we should listen to our bodies. The body will let you know what it can handle.

    1) Cancel Christmas! Treat Santa like you do when you don’t want to participate in trick or treat festivities. You just simply turn your porch light off! Don’t even put up a tree. Christmas will be over before you know it. This gives you the time to reflect and put some things in perspective.

    2) Embrace the alone time and quietness. You have full permission to cry and be alone — there is nothing wrong with that. Especially if you use the time wisely. You always need time to plan and think about your path forward. There may need to be changes made. This is the time to do it! It’s like you’re hibernating until the new year!

    3) Huddle up! This is where you gather together in one place the remaining people who serve a major purpose in your life and you spend the holiday in memory and in celebration of who you lost. This is the private time where each person let’s the other know how important they are, and you can Christmas as a time to express it!

    4) Get out! It’s time to take that special trip you have been wanting to take. Traveling can be very therapeutic, especially if you go to a place that does not celebrate the holidays as we do. This will allow you to retool, relax, and grieve peacefully.

    5) Create and memorial or ritual. This is something you create to honor your loved one. You might plant a tree, create a new ritual, and spend time with specific people. The point is two things: to establish a memorial and bond with close friends.

    Whatever you choose to do, listen to your body. Make sure you eat, get rest, and don’t be afraid to be sad.

  • Resolution over already???

    It is not uncommon to have ended your resolutions prematurely. Most who make resolutions fail to see them through. They were made with good intentions I’m sure but either poor planning, lack of desire, or it was too difficult, we start them and it doesn’t take long to snap back into last year’s habits.

    Don’t beat yourself up about it. In most cases it really just means you must take smaller steps. No one’s humanity enjoys cold turkey resolutions. You have to start somewhere so that needs to be something easier to handle.

    Many people are seeking to lose weight and for many it is because of health problems or to avoid future problems. You know you need to lose weight but do you really want to? All resolutions look good on paper, but in your heart of hearts is that really what you want?

    If you are 40 and you have been big all of your life, how long do you think it will take to get small? Definitely not likely in a year because the discipline is not there. And without professional help and support network — forget it!

    The bigger question is what do you do now? Do you try again? Do you select something easier? Do you even have to have a resolution??

    Someone planted a seed which said that if you are not moving forward then there is something wrong with you. We are all supposed to strive to be the be person we can be — who said we had to do that?

    Maybe your resolution should be all about making your own decisions. You should decide what happiness is for you. You should decided what type of lifestyle you want and live it! It is when we are trying to change for other people is where it becomes problematic.

    Love yourself enough to make small changes in your life to improve your well-being but don’t become obsessed. How you look, your job status and your bank account should not be our measuring sticks! Our character, integrity and servant hood should be the standard of person we become.

    Children are looking at us and they will take on our trials and tribulations. They need to be taught what is right as defined by you (I mean they are your kids). You control their level of involvement with social media and the greed of this society. You can choose to be different and raise children that will be productive citizen and not self-absorbed mini me’s that struggle each year with resolutions because they think they are not enough. Balance is key!

  • The myth of making up lost time

    There are some folks who believe that they can make up time. They kick up a lot of dirt to make it look like something is happening and then there is nothing.

    You cannot make up time, all you can do is try to let it get lost. How does it happen? Neglect, poor planning, ignorance, slothfulness and anger are a few habitual contributors to the lost of time. Human error is always the problem and the fix for it does not occur in the midst of more time. It comes in post production where the time correction is discovered and made known to all who are involved.

    What needs to happen is the one who is responsible for losing the time needs to acknowledge such and make preparations to never allow it to happen for the same reason again.

    You cannot make up time no more than you can unsee a tragedy. We attempt to try and make it up because we all see and can relate to the unfairness of it all. It’s a permanent action that leaves a permanent scare. There are children who are struggling because they were cheated out of time. There are people stuck in relationships that have been nothing but a big waste of time. There are people who have gotten divorced and the circumstances were not favorable to all parties so someone has been purged of time. Companies have tons of lazy employees that such the business dry of time. There are teachers who are tired and disgruntled who are stealing quality time from our kids.

    People have died too early or too late. So called friends have wasted our time as well. Pastors are wasting time and social media is a waste of time. When we die, it would be a shamed to look back at your life and realize that if you had back all the time you wasted you would be alive for another decade. A recent university study confirmed that humans waste 21.8 hours a week. This seems like a really bad waste of life. So instead of trying to redeem the time, we need to focus on the present and what is to come instead of what’s lost in the past.

  • We were robbed!

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    Happy New Year!

    This is the time for reflection and change in our lives and hopefully life’s lessons have taught us well enough that we are heeding the call and understanding what we must do to be better. By heeding the call I mean you are actually listening to your inner reflections on your past and adjusting accordingly.

    It seems that for some of us our inner voice is “spot on” with reality and helps us out greatly in our decision making. Then there are others who’s inner voice is wounded and we need a little help to make sure what is said is correct and not detrimental to us.

    This is all important because we live among thieves. Thieves are all over the place and we all have a little thievery in us. We all don’t loot or rob people at gunpoint, but what I mean is we steal another persons time, energy and space. We rob people of their joy and happiness and we steal ideas and concepts, friends and lovers and items of clothing like there is no tomorrow. It’s hard to be angry with someone when at some level you are doing the same thing. However, as we mature our thievery should subside. We should not be as taxing on our friends and families and we should be more giving with our own resources.

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    So when you evaluate the people in your life, this tends to be a common denominator when deciding who should stay and who should go. As we get older it becomes more difficult to deal with theft. So we excomunicate them from our lives.

    To help you with this task of elimination, I submit four categories of thieves. The first is called commensalism and these are the thieves that are like suckerfish who ride along with the shark to grab his leftovers. These fish do not bother the Shark, but they exist and thrive because of the shark. These would be your family, particularly your kids (17 and under) and older parents. There is such an obligation to help this bunch that this really becomes a labor of love. In addtion, you may have brothers or sisters in Christ who you have helped them get out of foolishness in the past and since they continue to get better, you continue to help them progress in anyway you can. This group will burn a lot of your energy but the results are priceless.

    The next group is parasitism and these are the folks are flat out selfish. Family is not excluded from this category. These folks do almost everything at your expense. It is their consistent selfish behavior that makes them so toxic that you have to decide how much more you can take. With this group, over 90 percent is them taking from you. It is even possible for you to be in denial of this and allow them to continue.

    The next group I refer to as spitefulism. I may have invented this word but the meaning is real. This is when two people are together and their brain’s pleasure center allows them to be so taxing on eachother that both are suffering from the interaction. I have seen these couples in counseling. They have come to me and neither party wants to give up anything. This proves that some people should have never hooked up. How do you stay in a relationship where both people are miserable and neither wants to get help. This behavior leds to eventual self-distruction.

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    The final group is mutualism and this is exactly what it sounds like: Both parties benefit from eachother. In this relation you don’t mind giving so that there is no thievery. This can be with a spouse, sibling or friend.

    So now you have been blessed to see another year. The longer we live, the better life should get. If life is not getting better, this is the first indicator that something is wrong. Choose this day who will be in your life. Part of our free will is having the choice to chose our circles. Choose wisely my friend. Because although there is not a precise measure of your stress to life ratio, what is certain is that stress is killing you. Not only is stress killing you, but there are already people plotting for your stuff.

  • I’m not the Wolverine

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    One of the heroes from Marvel comics Xmen series is a character called the Wolverine. This character has the ability to heal himself at an accelerated rate, making it nearly impossible to destroy him.

    Imagine that. With every hurt comes almost instantaneous healing. No scratches. No scars. No fuss. You cut him one minute and in less than 30 seconds he’s healed.

    This is not a point where art imitates life. It’s the contrary.

    Sometimes we say things to each other that really hurt. The whole “sticks and stones” saying is a lie: Words cut! And the problem is that we are not the Wolverine. We take time to heal and depending on how deep the cut, it could take years.

    Now imagine being in a relationship with someone who constantly cuts you with their words and you do not have a chance to heal before the next cut. And this person does not give you any assistance in the healing. They just cut away at their leisure.

    And then you tell them it hurts and to please stop. You become vulnerable with them and because of the close relationship you thought you had established, you pointed out the areas that would hurt the most. And instead of honoring and protecting those areas, they come at you like Freddy Krueger and continue to stab.

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    To subject yourself to years of that is sick. To think that it will get better is psychotic. And to allow it to continue exposes just how much you love yourself. You enter into a relationship with another person to make each other better, not worse. There are people who bring out the worst in us and there are people, praise God, who bring out the best.

    Life is too short and you are not the Wolverine. You have been taking cuts for far too long. It’s time for you to make some cuts and empty your life of all those carrying knives. This will be the best Independence Day of all!

  • The importance of my well being

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    I understand psychologically that I can not see myself, all I see is a reflection. All of these images I see of myself need help from the people that actually see me. Therefore it is the images I see in conjunction with what is said that allows me to come close to seeing my actual self.

    With this in mind, the people who I surround myself with become extremely important. I need for the people I allow in my inner circle to be beneficial to me. I want them to feel that I am beneficial to them, but they have to be able to add value to my life.

    If we spend the majority of a 24 hour day sleeping, working, eating and traveling, then that means there is not much time left to make a positive impact.

    This means coming home has to be in question. Is my house for me or against me? Am I really replenished while being at home or is my household just adding to my stress?

    Is the time I spend traveling during the day beneficial? The type of music I listen to, the people I talk to on the phone and even the ride to work now matter in regard to my well being.

    Sleep is one of the most important things you can give to your body. Am I getting enough uninterrupted sleep?

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    I also need to be concerned about the things I eat and drink. This has a huge effect on my wellness. I need to seek whole food without man-made additives. It’s hard to do in the US but not impossible.

    This message is about how we handle this gift called life and the body God put it in. If you understand that the life you have is only because of Christ, then how are you treating this beautiful gift he gave you?

  • Some day at Christmas

    Some day at Christmas

    Some day at Christmas we won’t be farmerry-christmas

    from making friends no matter what color they are.

    We will be color blind and our hearts will see

    that God made you and me.

     

    Some day at Christmas we won’t be rude

    and pass out to everyone who has a need for food.

    We will not covet all the things that we see

    because we live for him who died on that tree.

     

    3142505786_793baeb9a7Some day at Christmas all wars will cease.

    Our heart’s desire will be to seek peace.

    We’ll take responsibility for all that we do

    and make this world better for me and you.

     

    Some day at Christmas the deed will be done.

    Our lives will be judged by God’s only son.

    We lived our lives for Christ and stood in his Grace

    and spread love thoughout the human race.

  • Covet the best gifts this year

    Covet the best gifts this year

    While we are in the mist of shopping and making sure we  get that special gift for that special someone in our lives, it’s always good to reflect on the best gifts we can give.

    After all,  this is the season for giving.  And while everyone is in a festive mood – and probably more receptive to hear things during this time of the year, I’d like to weigh in on the best gifts of the year.

    Now, of course, there are experts in the retail business who can predict which toys will be top sellers and what line of clothing will make you the talk of the town. There are also specialists in the gadget department that can tell you about the best of the best in iPhones and Mp3 players, computers and Blu-ray brands and, of course, flat screen TVs.

    I am interested in other types of gifts. The gifts that I’m talking about are more precious than silver or gold. These are the gifts that change lives. Wait for it … wait for it …

    The first gift is love. There are many people living with anger, racism and hatred. These people hurt others because they have been hurt. And you know how misery loves company. If we would give these people unconditional love – for as long as it took – it would change their lives for the better. Only special people can do this. This gift requires you to love the un-loveable and allow your love to cover a multitude of sin. This requires you to love like Jesus.

    Can you do that?

    The second gift is that of forgiveness. How many people live guilty, waiting to hear those three words – I forgive you? How many of us are holding someone at bay, not forgiving them and making them feel really bad because they did something wrong?  And then we turn around and attempt to celebrate a holiday like Christmas. I wonder if I looked up the word hypocrite whose pick would I see by that word. Giving the gift of forgiveness requires us to forgive like Jesus.

    Can you do that?

    And finally, the last gift is the gift of your time. It’s always easier to write a check and let someone else to the work. The gift of your time requires you to actually stop living for yourself and give that time and energy to someone that needs it. People like kids that are growing up without a dad; single mothers who are having a hard time raising their kids alone; or a widow or widower. There are many people who are lonely, afraid to be alone and depressed. Image if the last person you knew or read about who committed suicide. Do you think they needed someone they could trust to talk too? Giving the gift of time requires us to give our time like Jesus.

    Can you do that?

    I’m thinking we would be a stronger nation if we coveted these three gifts. Now, I’m off to practice what I preach!

  • Fixing the disconnect

    Fixing the disconnect

    We have a disconnect between what we know of God and what we see in this world.

    All who say they believe in God would believe that all things are possible in him. We would say that God is the creator and controller of the universe. We would agree that God had no limitations.

    But almost in the same breath, we will look at circumstances in our lives and we will doubt, fear and totally give up when faced with great diversity.

    Equally problematic is that we who are finite speak of things sometimes as if we were infinite. We say how we think things are supposed to be. We strong arm people to conform to our way and we act as though we are in charge.

    Well, the only way to remedy this is to surrender what little control we think we have and trust in the almighty.

    If I believe that the living God is the creator of the universe and the savior of the world, then there should be a level of trust to match the level of belief I have.

    We all need to ask ourselves if we really trust God the way we claim to? We need to ask the follow-up question of do we believe what we know of him?

    If we do, then we need to take action. Now. We need to live what we believe and not waste any more time with fear and doubt.

    Let’s trust God! It will make the rest of this year a whole lot better and much more prosperous!