Posted in Uncategorized

No change yet? New Year looks the same as last?

January is always interesting when it comes to resolutions. It’s the month where you either sink or swim. New diet, new health challenge, new job, new plan — all subject to the fall in January.

You spent money on new stuff. You spent time making vision boards and setting schedules and by week 2 or 3 the whole things in jeopardy.

What went wrong?

You had a perfect plan but it seems the motivation got stuck in customs in December. You have now begun the mental gymnastics of rationalizing your failure… well it’s not quite a failure yet but it’s getting there.

Willpower is your enemy — and the fact that you may have done better with a partner or a group with the same goal.

Willpower is a funny thing because even when the facts are stacked in your favor and your plan was routed in the best of empirical data — it still requires execution from you. I’m so sorry.

I am wondering if what you decided was right for you? I’m also wondering were your motives for doing it in the right place?

To make a real plan you need to address and solve a real problem. But if the problem is not exactly a problem for you, then you really won’t have the required amount of willpower to complete your task.

So, wipe your slate clean and plan your resolutions quarter. Pick nine things of varying degrees of difficulty and group them in 3s. Make sure each group has something hard, easy and in between. Get it?

Start working on them… skip the third quarter of the year and then finish the last quarter strong. Problems? Email me!

Posted in Uncategorized

Stupid is as stupid does

Forrest Gump was stupid. He had become accustom to the word because of the people who observed his behavior constantly gave him this label. Hollywood made an entire movie about being stupid.

But they didn’t stop there. What gave the movie its brilliance was the fact that things seemed to workout just fine for Gump as if a greater power had the “fix” in for him. They made the story very relatable, by putting it smack dab in the middle of one of the most prolific times in American history. They gave scenarios that could have been any of us. We can all relate to a time where inspite of our foolishness things worked out like they did for Forrest. And we would like to believe that if someone’s heart is right and pure, things would workout for them eventually as well.

To live your life in the hope that this is true would be — well, stupid yet we see so many examples of folks doing exactly that.

Nobody plans to mess up their life but sometimes that’s exactly what it looks like. We become stupid to impress the opposite sex, to take a non existing shortcut to success, to avoid hard work, and to avoid looking stupid.

Stupid is defined as having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense. So our prisons are full of people who are stupid. The court system hears and sees a lot of stupid people. And social media has become a huge platform for stupid people — just make a comment about religion or politics and the stupid parade begins.

The word stupid did not exist until late in the 16th century so that explains why the word is not in the original King James bible, but the concept is there. The word consistently used for stupid is dull. The word appears 29 times in the sacred text and that’s within 13 different translations. The idea of something becoming dull is the idea of stupid. It’s not sharp and pristine, its dull and unappealing. But the original definition is that something happened to make you dull — you didn’t just start off that way. As the evolution of the word continued, today you can be stupid, or dull without any help.

In Gen. 29:17, one translation describes Leah’s eyes as weak and dull looking, but it says Rachel’s are beautiful and attractive. There has always been this comparison of these two sisters and for lack of a better term Leah here is described as stupid.

Gen. 49:12 gives the cause and effect idea saying, “His eyes are dull from wine and his teeth white from milk.”

So if stupid is as stupid does — which is to say that an intelligent person who does stupid things, is still stupid — this was obviously Forrest’s way of admitting he was stupid and letting you know that you can be stupid too.

Let’s hope we all spend more time “with” stupid than we do being stupid.

Posted in Uncategorized

Do you see the beauty in your brokenness?

In the bible, Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. We don’t know why she looked back, all we know is the action was purposed.

Did she look back because she was missing something? Or did she look back because she was angry? Reviewing? Regretting?

It’s hard to live your life and move forward when you are stuck in the past. We all have had things in the past that were hurtful, disgraceful, embarrassing and stressful. Some of us are still dealing with trouble from our past. That trouble brought relationships we don’t want, debt we wish we didn’t have and freedoms we wish we hadn’t lost. We troll through life unsure, unfamiliar and unhappy. We always blame ourselves (and sometimes it is our fault), but more times than not we were tricked by some bastard who never really cared.

So we find ourselves in a new year with the same old problems. And like previous years we said that the current year would be “that year” where things would change for the better. So we packed up our things and waiting on the porch for change to show up and get us — but change never showed.

Change never said it was coming.

You actually have to hunt down change and make it come home with you. Change is what you need and it is closer than you think.

So what I find with people who are searching for change is that they are actually living life through their failures instead of their successes. They have already discredited their victories as a fluke; they have assassinated their own character as not being good enough; and they have settled for far less than they deserve.

Am I talking to you yet??

Your victories are legit! Your life is not a waste! You absolutely deserve better! And you are just as worthy as the next person. What makes us worthy is not contained in anything we aspire to do. It’s the fact that God made us to be.

Your time is now. You already know what you need to do. You have been afraid all this time but not anymore.

There is an upside to being down and that is your ability to bounce! Your purpose is greater than the life you have been living. Cut away your dead weight, negative feelings and past mistakes. Capitalize on what you have learned and let this be the year you do YOU!

Posted in Uncategorized

The hypocrisy of it all

if-ignorance-is-bliss1We live in a country that thrives in the unknown. Not only is it not fashionable to truly be in the know, but ignorance is celebrated.

We vote with very little knowledge. We make purchases with limited Intel and we date and get close to people we just met.

which-one

We are far too trusting and then will be the first to cry foul when something happens. For example, when someone you never met contacts you and says they are your grandchild and they are in trouble and need you to send money. Then they tell you not to tell their parents. This is the latest scam on seniors. Or my favorite, there is a prince in a foreign country that promises you millions to help them out with thousands — this only works in the land of the greedy.

19173

Then we have the protests.

How do you protest the rights of giraffes being hunted and killed, but say nothing when an unarmed black man is killed by police?

How do you protect animal rights but care less about how cows, pigs and chickens are doped up and slaughtered in America?

How do you protest pedophilia here in the states but ignore the fact that our military is helping foreign governments who allow the prosecution of kids? (i.e. 10 year old boys in Afghanistan called Bacha Bazi).

We are extremely naive with many things. Our latest craze is DNA kits. When this science became affordable to the masses I imagined our government using it to reassure if those accused of rape really did it. We could now be far more sure than ever before with DNA testing but instead we are marketing it to people with apparently too much time on their hands. All of these people who have a heritage are interested now in knowing more about their heritage. But never was it important to them to make sure accurate records were kept on slaves or that blacks could be reattached to their heritage because slavery was so brutal. I mean if our heritage is that important wouldn’t we want everyone to know about their own?

Whatever you feel about President Donald J Trump, history teaches us that he is not even in the top 10 of the worst presidents. But what is worse is that most Americans cannot name the worst 5 presidents we have had. Then of course it depends on your preference.

The end of slavery was promised after the revolutionary war. The first man to die for the flag was a black man (Crispus Attucks). The first 10 presidents had no lobbyists to fight with and were of the most educated in the land but none of them thought to make good on that promise.

Bank CEOs crash our market and destroy our economy and they get a bailout in return — thanks Obama! The exact same thing happens in Iceland and all the CEOs involved go to jail! Our country has fought to ensure slaves do get reparations for the crimes America has carried out against them, but holocaust survivors get reparations right now along with the Native Americans.

This sad commentary should make us think about the things we protest. It should make us examine ourselves before we join a protest of a double standard. Or will we just allow ignorance to be bliss?

Posted in Uncategorized

What’s your obsession?

Obsession is broadly defined as a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling. Don’t get this confused with a preoccupation with a reasonable idea.

If your son plays basketball 24/7, sleeps with his basketball and dreams about playing even when he is not. And of course your son happens to be 7’1, this is reasonable. If he is 5’2, it’s probably unreasonable.

Because we don’t want to smash anyone else’s dream we avoid commenting. So we allow people who haven’t had any college experience say they want to be a superintendent of a school district — they have no plans to go back to school.

We have people who can barely sing hang on to the dream of being a singer. We put up with pastors in pulpits that have no oratory ability nor knowledge of scripture but they want to preach.

When a teenager who is failing math wants to be an engineer or a student who is failing science wanting to be a doctor, we smile and think it’s cute.

Honesty is still the best policy.

One of the things that we loved about American Idol was Simon Cowell because he could be brutally honest about what he saw and heard. So we watched each week to enjoy the talent but hear what Simon thought about the act.

Can you imagine throwing your life away on an obsession? I mean just think about an obsession that takes you into your 40s with no return on the investment. Many people followed your dream knowing that it was not going to happen but hoping that it might — this is a very tragic fate.

Broken lives collide with reality and in the rubble is a lost soul who had higher expectations than his talent could take him.

All types of mental health professionals offer diagnosis after the fact and everyone has an opinion, but in the end all you are left with is a broken heart and that damn obsession!

Posted in Working together

Whose team is it anyway???

You ever been on a team with less than faithful team members?

Then you have members that challenge every direction you try to take the group and the really sad part is they never have an alternative and all it seems they want to do is veto your direction.

Clearly the group is not on the same page and can’t be because some have already decided that they don’t like you. So that means anything you like, they hate. Anything you think is good, they think it’s bad.

If we could freeze time in place we could go backwards and start looking at where things went wrong. Where did the misunderstanding begin? What made teammates keep records of wrongdoing or maintain a level of unforgiveness? When did the overall mission of the team get scrapped for personal reasons?

Personal reasons. Oh what a sense of entitlement it takes for one persons view to go before or ahead of the mass group.

Personal vendettas. Why in the world would someone get so entangled with revenge that you can’t see the bigger picture?

You have to ask yourself would you rather see something destroyed before you will allow someone else to get credit? Would you choose to tear up something just because you can?

Would you be petty enough to destroy the lives of many to pay back a few?

Ok. I’m done asking questions but the leadership qualities were definitely not handed out to everyone and many are in positions of leadership who don’t belong. There is no speaking the truth in love nor forgetting the past to move on to a better future.

A bad seed in a group is like mold on fruit — it reaches a point where it can not come back from mold so it must be cut off. So instead of wondering if you have the knowledge to be a great leader, ask yourself do you have the gall to cut away the mold for the sake of the fruit. Or will you just leave the whole thing and allow it to rot the whole thing??

Posted in Accepted, Achievement, Change, Confidence, Determination, Faith, Fear, Forgiveness, God, Greed, Grief

Failed expectations

There are people in this world that imitate animals. You have the Alpha Male who figures the Lion. Gentle giant men have the image of the grizzly bear and then there are the people who love to act like snakes, rats or chameleons. These are the people who have no problem betraying others. There is no level of consciousness that is disturbed by their distrust.

Betrayal comes from expectations that are not met. It’s the breaking on trust and the vengeance from misunderstanding.

In Greek Mythology Jason was with Medea and they had kids together and everything. All of a sudden he decides to leave her with the kids stating that they were not married anyway. Jason was off to marry a local king’s daughter. To pay him back Medea kills the kids.

Benedict Arnold fought side by side with George Washington and had his trust. He was considered a trusted soldier and friend to Washington until he defected to the British in 1780. Arnold went down in history as a symbol of betrayal.

The question this blog asks is how does it feel to betray someone? How does it feel in your heart? How does it feel just before the betrayal is realized? How do you live with yourself? What kind of person do you have to be to overcome the negative feelings of betrayal? What will your conscious allow?

It’s clear that your spirit has to settle into being a rat or a snake, but is there any coming back from that? Mr. Arnold would probably tell you no, there is no coming back. The anger towards those that betray always seems to be met with death — whether that be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Hopefully, we can avoid this concept and realize the opposite is greater. Let loyalty ring!