Posted in Uncategorized

Call it maybe…

Posted on by clydestyle

You ever felt like your life was in a holding pattern? You know like how planes circle in midair around the airport waiting to land. And due to inclement weather they end up circling longer than anticipated? Life can get that way too.

It is especially difficult if you are waiting on someone else to do something or for a situation to happen. What’s even worse, is for some of us, our minds will do us in with negativity. We start second guessing our motives and actions. We begin to think the worst and doubt whether things will work out for the best.

This seems to be the time where God has said, “maybe” when answering our prayer. When God says maybe, things come to a screeching halt and we have no choice but to wait.

This is normal test time with God.

You see, he already knows the outcome but he wants to see how well your faith holds up during a trial. In one of your darkest hours, how strong and supportive is your faith or even the faith of the people around you.

Are you going through a test of faith right now? How are you holding up? Are you operating in a safe environment that is comforting for you? The people around you, are they helpful? Are your expectations being met? Have you placed expectations in areas or on someone you shouldn’t have?

These are all questions that need to be answered and learned from during this trial. So in the meantime, find the answers you need and hang in there!

Posted in Uncategorized

I know why the Lord visited the spirits in prison

Posted on by clydestyle

When we read 1 Peter chapter 3 and come to the part where it says Jesus visited the spirits in prison who were disobedient, we assume it was just to minister good things to them. That Jesus would try and get them to choose another path and that they would change their selfish ways and begin honoring the father with their lives.

I would imagine that some of that took place, but I am sure, with what I know about Jesus, fellowship was of the utmost importance.

Anyone can go to jail or prison, but it seems more than not that the poor end up there for whatever reason. (I could tell you why but that’s for another blog!) And there is a natural connection between this population because of what they have been through. Being around them you get a look through life from a different lens.

When you hear of their mistakes and the issues that plague them you want to help because you really do have the answers. But then you find out they weren’t looking for answers, they were searching for understanding. They were longing to be heard. They were hoping that someone would see them in a different light other than the negative one that is always cast.

I recently spent a full day in county jail as I was investigated and I learned the true meaning of probable cause. (I have a blog series coming regarding this experience and prison reform that will come out after Christmas.)

I sat in a holding cell listening to Black, white, Mexican and Cuban guys shoot the shit mostly over nothing but bond together through their infirmities. They helped each other, laughed at each other and bonded — creating a community of sinners that I was glad to be a part of. I was affectionately called “unk” by various members of this community probably because of my age and wisdom. It was funny that during this time on 4 occasions a white guy asked me if I was really their uncle… it made me smile.

We talked about life, love, mother’s influence, dad’s influence (many did not know their dads) and fear. I was able to turn it into a therapy session without anyone noticing that I was a therapist. When they got suspicious I could swear or say something negative about “the system” and my identity would be cloaked again.

I thoroughly enjoyed spending this time and giving of myself. At the end I was far more blessed than the blessings I gave and I have two new friends as a result.

As I was driving home I realized that another reason that Jesus would have made prison visits is because he needed to be rejuvenated and what better way to do that than be with lively people who don’t have to make themselves out to be anything. They’re just free to be… in their own space, in an unlikely place where they can see Jesus’ face!

Posted in freedom, Grief, Happiness, Progress, Uncategorized

Suffering with midsummer depression…

Posted on by clydestyle

Everyone seems to be enjoying the beautiful summer weather but you. The idea of taking in the sights and getting some sun or taking a trip or even going to get ice cream just doesn’t seem appealing to you.

You begin avoiding people because they keep asking you what’s wrong. You stay in bed, don’t shave, lessen communication with your usual circle of friends and there is no desire to eat. Or you actually could be eating a lot or sleeping a lot — the point is you have no balance, you are living on the extremes.

Nothing hurts at least that can be measured. You either have a broken heart or a shaky mind.

Clearly you are depressed.

Seasons can actually do that to you. The year is not going like you think it should. There are ongoing problems that tend to be getting out of hand. You’re in a bad relationship and it’s wearing you down or just life itself is getting too difficult.

During this time it feels like this is only happening to you. The silence in your life is more like a fog that is coming to make you sad. It’s chasing you and making it difficult for you to escape.

Here are the top 5 things you need to force yourself to do when you are depressed.

1) You need a confidant who doesn’t solve problems for you, they just listen and support you. They get you out of the house for a break and keep you connected to the non-depressed world. You’re living on the depressed side. This person can be trusted and you know they have your best interest at heart.

2) You have to exercise…everyday. you need to break a sweat to release some of that negative energy and help balance your hormones. You need exercise to help you with step 3 as well, so pick something that will tire you out.

3) You need sleep. Find the right amount based on your age. If your magic number is 8 hours then make sure that’s all you get. Not 5 or 6 hours and not 10 to 12 hours. Eight is your number.

4) Drink half your body weight in water and try to avoid sugar and artificial sweeteners. It would be great to cancel added sugars in your diet for 10 days. You want to stay hydrated and not have anything that gives you highs and lows.

5) Eat healthy. Plant-based whole foods are best. If you can, only eat meat once a day. So you might have fruit and oatmeal for breakfast. A huge salad for lunch that includes seeds, nuts, fruit, lots of green leaves with carrots and olives. Your snacks for the day would be granola, fruit and trail mix. Then dinner could be a vegetable, sweet potato or brown rice and your meat of choice. But whatever you do, don’t eat after 9pm or 3 hours before bed.

Need any additional support contact me.

Posted in Uncategorized

Is there a cause worthy?

Posted on by clydestyle

Our country has been divided for so long it has become a way of life for us. Division is our new normal and it seems that their is not a cause worthy enough to make us set aside our differences for the greater good. Is there still a greater good?

When we joined WWII we seemed to be on the same page although before and after the war was quite shady.

Before the war we were selling tanks, jeeps and other heavy vehicles to both sides. When the war ended, not only did we renege on our promises — especially to minorities — but when the bounty from the war was rolled out in the form of jobs, the pay for those jobs were given with prejudice. Minorities and women did not receive equal pay and didn’t even have access to the best jobs.

Fast forward to the 21st century and we are now expecting wealthy people to look out for the welfare of poor people. The wealthy people are in government and congress and there is no greater time in our history when politics have been played to the degree it is today.

More promises. More politics and no change. No matter what political party is in charge: More promises. More politics and no change.

As citizens we struggle with healthcare, debt, fair and livable wages and a stable future.

Currently, the 20-

plus Democratic presidential hopefuls believe they have the answers for us. They have spent years in congress and now they want to fix problems that are 30 years old. Republicans aren’t any better, 2016 they were singing the same song that they have all the answers — nothing has changed.

I struggle to find a cause that would force government and Congress to work together for the benefit of the people they are supposed to serve.

So who is democracy really working for?

Posted in Change, Fear, freedom, Happiness, helping, judgment, kindness, Life, Relationships, Uncategorized, Working together

Being emotionally aware of emotional poverty

Posted on by clydestyle

It seems that uncontrollable outbursts would be embarrassing, but for some it is absolutely not embarrassing! Some people could care less how they are viewed by others so as a result they show out anytime someone does something they don’t like.

These are the type of people who would get loud in a crowded restaurant or in another place of business because someone crossed them. They would have an outburst in church (if they went regularly).

Grocery stores, department stores or any heavily populated place would not escape this disruption. You see the more the people the greater the show — and someone emotionally disturbed would not want to disappoint a good crowd.

Emotional poverty is when you are unable to handle life’s challenges without self destruction. You may have seen people at work who you avoid because you know that if you get into it with them it would be ugly. It’s the person that could take you to that emotional destructive place you used to go to back in the day.

People respond to pressure a number of different ways. Sometimes they react and don’t understand how or why they took things so far. By the time they realize they went too far, it’s too late. The solution is not as easy as you think. The emotionally poor need response help from someone who is the opposite. To move forward they need a mentor or good friend who can help them model better behavior — I call it loaning them some scratch!

It’s not enough to just be aware of bad behavior, but take responsibility for those we love who suffer from emotional poverty. I am my brother’s keeper!

Posted in Forgiveness, Health, Mind Power, Taking Responsibility, Truth, Uncategorized

Being mentally aware of mental poverty

Posted on by clydestyle

When we think of poverty it normally is in the context of finance and we consider people who have no wealth as poor. But poverty comes in many forms and this blog will touch on one of them: Mental poverty.

This means simply that your thinking is not right. Your thinking violates social norms that make your actions stick out like a sore thumb.

Do you know somebody who just seems to look at situations different than most? I don’t mean different in a good way, I mean you hear some of the things they say and you hope no one else hears it.

With this type of thinking it makes it difficult to recognize fairness, justice, compromise or forgiveness. There seems to be a disconnect with logic and understanding. At first glance people would say the person must be crazy. But in a larger sense this thinking is more common than you think.

In many cases it is the result of wounds that have not healed and the pain is so traumatic with the individual that revenge is the only word they can think about with clarity.

You see, when you have been wronged repeatedly with no resolve your mental faculties become impaired. Your thinking gets stuck on resolutions. With every future situation that requires thinking, the individual struggles with negotiating righteousness.

Please understand that this is not an excuse. It is just what is. The solution is so easy that we overthink and never get over some of our mental anguish.

The solution is to forgive what has happened to you. Forbear your perpetrators and deal with them going forward with the lessons you have learned from dealing with them in the past.

Considering that the Lord above has laid claim to revenge anyway, your best move is to heal yourself.

Now that you are aware, you know that arguing with a person who struggles with mental health issues will always struggle with logic so when you get into a shouting match with this person, what is your endgame?

When you continue to repeat the same argument over and over again, how do you think it looks to the sane?

Awareness of mental challenges is half our battle. Now you just need to not engage.

Posted in Accepted, Confidence, Determination, Forgiveness, Happiness, Mind Power, Perseverance, Progress, Relationships, Self, Success, Taking Responsibility

The psychology of disappointment

Posted on by clydestyle

So you had an expectation of something — that’s how it starts. Then you feel that you deserve that expectations fulfillment. Excitement follows. Expectation grows and an adrenaline rush ensues.

Then suddenly something unexpected, uncontrollable or undeserving happens and all you were left with is disappointment.

Disappointment is hard to swallow. It doesn’t go down easy. It causes heartaches.

Chasing disappointment is anger. Anger allows the feeling of disappointment to linger. The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment. You can experience periods of sadness, depression and resentment.

It’s as if disappointment laughs at you. It calls out to you saying, “who told you to have expectations?” Disappointment burns.

To protect ourselves we need to stop having expectations for anyone but ourselves. The likelihood of you letting down yourself should be less.

Do yourself a favor and don’t desire something to a level that leads to greater expectation and possible disappointment. Your emotional orientation takes a hard hit everytime you do.