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Bridges or walls?

City of Bridges

One of the beautiful things about Pittsburgh, other than loyal sports fans, is that not only have they cornered the market on the steel industry, but the city has more bridges than any other place in the world. Pittsburgh has 446 bridges earning it the name “City of bridges”.

I’ve been through one section of town where I was able to see about 38 of them. With a claim to fame such as this, Pittsburgh ought to be one of the friendliest places to visit.

You see, building bridges is considered a good thing where as burning bridges is the great evil. Some people prefer to build walls. Walls are meant to keep things hidden or private. A wall makes the statement that you are not welcomed.

Bridges tell a different tale. Bridges say it’s safe to come over. It protects you from troubled waters and it serves as a great connector.

So in your life do you build bridges or walls? Are there people that you want completely out of your life? Are there people that you feel are beneath you or so less than that you just prefer not to be around them? Do you have so many secrets in your life that walls are needed to keep them secret? Are you just such a private individual that walls are necessary in your life?

With every relationship I have, I try to make my bridges joint efforts. If we are truly friends then we built a bridge together and we travel back and forth on that bridge as it is the cornerstone of the relationship. If one of us is short of money, the other crosses the bridge to supply it. If one is in trouble the other comes running across the bridge to help.

Imagine having a bridge like that as friends and then one day as you are crossing the bridge you saw a wall — built right on the bridge. Without warning this wall appears and hinders the bridge relationship. What do you do?

Kill the bridge builder? Realize that your relationship is over and building the bridge was a waste. Accept the betrayal of the so-called friend and blow down the damn bridge?

The materials wasted on one bridge will help build another. Some bridges have to be destroyed.

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Do you know the help you need?

So many questions…

When going through the trials of life, how do you know the type of help you need?

I mean, is it spiritual, mental, emotional or physical? A person could need $200 because they either mismanaged their money or don’t make enough. What type of help is that because financial is not on the list. Physical you say? That does not solve the real problem. Emotional? Sure support is needed but that won’t eliminate the problem.

Spiritual?? Well, the bible gives several truths regarding finances but none of them will give you $200 today.

The truth is if you need $200 then you probably could use $1000 and if someone gave you that today, you would be back to square one in a month. Money is not the solution to your problems.

Your problem starts mentally. If you talk to the church about it you will get a spiritual principle that very few are trying to practice — which is why the benevolent committee (if they even had one) didn’t help.

Your friends can give you emotional support but they have their own financial woes — meaning they can only ride to the poor house with you because they live on the same street.

You see the problems you face today are related to the issues of your past. There were things that happened decades ago that still effect you. And it just doesn’t show up in your memory, but in how you see certain situations, how you approach trouble, how you spend your money — even why you hang around the people you do.

If we don’t manage our past, we will be uncomfortable in our present.

So mentally, your finances could be better, but so could your job. Are you in your dream job? Is this the career you talked about in third grade? What derailed your plan? Ok. Nevermind that, tell me this: Have you been settling? Settling for everything: Relationships, jobs, pay, decisions. Are you living YOUR life or someone else’s life?

Would your last 10 decision prove the love you have for yourself? Or would it show the sacrifices you made for other people who don’t really understand or appreciate it?

We are headed into the fall of 2018. This year is about to be over. Was it all you thought it would be? Wasn’t this supposed to be your year??

Ok. Enough of that. I think you get the picture. Today I just want you to be honest with yourself and if you can’t describe yourself as “winning” then you need to make changes. If you don’t take care of yourself then you won’t be able to do anything for anyone else.

Change happens slowly.

Make a list of 40 things you need to change — yes 40. Big things, small things, it doesn’t matter, write them down. Then prioritize them from 1 being the biggest priority to 40 being the least. Then start making the changes and drawing a line through your victories. Did you hear what I called them? And when you get to your 7th thing — contact me!

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I’m baaaaack!

The bar is now open…

Ok. I never really left but here I am again to hopefully be inspiring, insightful and humorous all for the sake of helping you with your vision problems.

It amazes me how comfortable people are sitting in a bar. The atmosphere is perfect for sharing. I was sitting in the Philadelphia airport when I took that photo and it was in an area that was not too busy and not too noisy. I spent 45 minutes “people watching” and what a relaxed environment I observed.

So in that same spirit, the bar (blog) is now open. I am here to dialog and attempt to help. I want to speak to your hurt if you will allow me to assist you.

I am working on two book projects for this fall and I’m feeling pretty confident about them. The first is vol II of my 2015 book The Sincere Milk of the word. And the second is about relationships titled My Current Situation. There is a third book on church growth and I will elaborate on that as we get closer to the release date.

My blog will continue to speak to the ills of our world and offer sound advice to help you overcome.

Thank you for your support. Spread the word! Pray for my handlers as I have a great team with me and they are handling the editing, management of social media, blogs, books, speaking engagements and the video blog that will start in 2019.

Get ready for Clydestyle 3.0

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Guess it does not matter anymore . . .

I remember in the 90s when then President Bill Clinton had charges brought against him for perjury and obstruction of Justice because Congress was attempting to impeach him. The real reason behind the impeachment was the sexual harassment charges filed against Clinton by Ms. Paula Jones.

Old boy Bill had been a bit naughty on more than one occasion and the Republicans went ballistic! The party used the morality argument saying how could a man run the country if he could not manage his home?

Evangelicals pounded their chests, pointed fingers and threw Holy scriptures at the Clintons. The First Lady did not get much support as she attempted to pick up the pieces of their broken relationship. Rev. Jessie Jackson reached out to help the couple and despite the president’s success, hanging was too good for him.

This just shows that family values were to be honored in this country and it mattered for the highest position in the free world that whoever stepped  in those shoes could tow a moral line.

I have no problem with that, in fact I applaud the effort and at this level we should expect a higher standard of morality from our leaders. Say what you want about the current president, but the Obamas were very strong in this area.

In the history of the US presidency there has only been one divorcee and that was Ronald Reagan. Two presidents were widowers and married while in office and one president was single.

Donald Trump is on his third marriage and has a blended family. He has had as many wives as he has had bankruptcies and people still believe he is a successful business man and his marriages have never come up.

I assume this is where our country is now. We no longer care about family and the purity of marriage. If you have money in this country, you really can do whatever you want because the gatekeepers are sellouts!

The Clintons or Trumps should have never been allowed to run for office. In the 80s and earlier I don’t believe they would have been eligible because of their moral issues.

I appreciate the Bush family for the standard they set for family and all the other presidents who sought to set the example this way. The soul of America is sinful and the spirit is ignorant. It won’t be long before this body is destroyed.

BUT I guess it really doesn’t matter anymore ….

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Calm before the storm


It has been a while since I have posted a blog because I have been busy promoting my first book and writing my second, but with 21 days left before election day I felt it necessary to give a few words about candidates.

We are witnessing the last month’s of the Obama era and I remember how I felt in 2008 when we were about to vote for the presidency and I had the opportunity for the first time in my life to vote for a president that looked like me. For the first time I could see a new connection with the democratic process and I thought that for the first time there was a place for me in America.

I actually felt like a pilgrim up until this point. Well, after 8 years and failed expectations that I had for the first Black president, I learned more about government processes than I cared to know. I learned more about my friends (or so-called friends) and more about my enemies. I learned more about why America was in the position it is in and I learned that our political parties are too self serving to do well for the masses.

I want a candidate who takes responsibility for the allegiance to our flag that we speak and who values every person called an American regardless of their color, creed or nationality.

I want a candidate that fears God and believes that accountability is to him first instead of interest groups.

I want a candidate who will end the war against people of color and bring together all sides. I need a person who will stop allowing companies to profit off the demise of others. I want a candidate who will end our involvement in all wars.

Dear reader ask yourself if you would like to be treated the way Black people are treated in this country? Ask yourself would you like to be treated like Hispanics are treated in this country? Or better, ask yourself would you like to be treated like we treat women in this country?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe we have ever had a candidate that cared about or could do anything about these things. We have never had a president that made these issues priority with any success and sadly, it will not happen this time either. It has been said that a revolution is coming. Are you ready for that?

Happy Election Day!

Posted in Accountability, Change, Death, Determination, Fear, Free Will, freedom, friend, Generosity, Giving, Happiness, Health, helping, History, judgment, Life, Progress, Relationships, Self, Sharing, significance, society, Success, Time, Truth

We were robbed!


Happy New Year!

This is the time for reflection and change in our lives and hopefully life’s lessons have taught us well enough that we are heeding the call and understanding what we must do to be better. By heeding the call I mean you are actually listening to your inner reflections on your past and adjusting accordingly.

It seems that for some of us our inner voice is “spot on” with reality and helps us out greatly in our decision making. Then there are others who’s inner voice is wounded and we need a little help to make sure what is said is correct and not detrimental to us.

This is all important because we live among thieves. Thieves are all over the place and we all have a little thievery in us. We all don’t loot or rob people at gunpoint, but what I mean is we steal another persons time, energy and space. We rob people of their joy and happiness and we steal ideas and concepts, friends and lovers and items of clothing like there is no tomorrow. It’s hard to be angry with someone when at some level you are doing the same thing. However, as we mature our thievery should subside. We should not be as taxing on our friends and families and we should be more giving with our own resources.


So when you evaluate the people in your life, this tends to be a common denominator when deciding who should stay and who should go. As we get older it becomes more difficult to deal with theft. So we excomunicate them from our lives.

To help you with this task of elimination, I submit four categories of thieves. The first is called commensalism and these are the thieves that are like suckerfish who ride along with the shark to grab his leftovers. These fish do not bother the Shark, but they exist and thrive because of the shark. These would be your family, particularly your kids (17 and under) and older parents. There is such an obligation to help this bunch that this really becomes a labor of love. In addtion, you may have brothers or sisters in Christ who you have helped them get out of foolishness in the past and since they continue to get better, you continue to help them progress in anyway you can. This group will burn a lot of your energy but the results are priceless.

The next group is parasitism and these are the folks are flat out selfish. Family is not excluded from this category. These folks do almost everything at your expense. It is their consistent selfish behavior that makes them so toxic that you have to decide how much more you can take. With this group, over 90 percent is them taking from you. It is even possible for you to be in denial of this and allow them to continue.

The next group I refer to as spitefulism. I may have invented this word but the meaning is real. This is when two people are together and their brain’s pleasure center allows them to be so taxing on eachother that both are suffering from the interaction. I have seen these couples in counseling. They have come to me and neither party wants to give up anything. This proves that some people should have never hooked up. How do you stay in a relationship where both people are miserable and neither wants to get help. This behavior leds to eventual self-distruction.


The final group is mutualism and this is exactly what it sounds like: Both parties benefit from eachother. In this relation you don’t mind giving so that there is no thievery. This can be with a spouse, sibling or friend.

So now you have been blessed to see another year. The longer we live, the better life should get. If life is not getting better, this is the first indicator that something is wrong. Choose this day who will be in your life. Part of our free will is having the choice to chose our circles. Choose wisely my friend. Because although there is not a precise measure of your stress to life ratio, what is certain is that stress is killing you. Not only is stress killing you, but there are already people plotting for your stuff.