ClydeStyle

Tag: Choices

  • What to do when love calls (part 1 of 3)

    Spring is here, and at least in the fairy tales, it means love is in the air. The environment tells us that it’s spring with the addition of new growth, leaves beginning to return, and the weather changes. Animals are feeling that special kind of way toward their mates, and soon, they will produce new growth.

    There is no escaping that fact that spring is here, and love is in the air. But when love comes calling for you, what do you do?

    Well, that depends on what stage of life you are in and whether or not in the inside you have healed from life’s challenges or you’re still wounded.

    How do you know you’re broken? In therapy there is a concept called the wounded inner child. The wounded inner child gets bruised in bad relationships. Many of us live with pain from various sources. Spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical. Simply to just love someone presents pain of some type.

    The reason is normally when we enter a relationship we tend to have expectations on the other individual, and we don’t always share it. They then respond in a way that we don’t like and the guilt we feel from putting the expectations on them in the first place gets the best of us. So because of that we are not honest about how we really feel. When we’re young is easy to let these things build up. We become professionals at hiding our true feelings. Unfortunately, after decades of this behavior, we become bitter — and then someone dies or the relationship finally runs its course.

    The person left in this scenario is broken, and for them to attempt to enter into another relationship prematurely does not allow the inner child to heal.

    Another fact is that the person who wants the new relationship always thinks they can help with this project. They cannot. Our egos allow us to believe that we are the best solution for whatever the problem is, and our loneliness is off to the side co-signing it.

    The best solution here is to wait. Wait to reflect. Wait to heal. Wait to see what God says. You should never rush into a relationship. That is never necessary. If the relationship is worth it, it can survive the wait.

  • The power of our integrity

    The division we face in this world is directly related to our integrity. Let me explain. Integrity is the state of being whole and undivided. Our divisions come from a response to what is happening and the blaming of opposing sides.

    For example, Republicans are convinced that President Joe Biden is bad for America. A growing population believes the Republicans are holding back our country. Depending on what side you fall on, you will pick up the disagreements where they left off. You will be outraged because they are. You will play out their thoughts with your aggression as we saw at the insurrection on Jan. 6.

    Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. It’s moral uprightness. You see, this allows me to maintain my moral integrity even when my favorite party goes rogue.

    Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris ran on a platform that promised to improve our criminal justice system. Now they could still do something but the fact that it’s not even being discussed is disappointing. Further, under this administration, we are doing more for Ukrainian refugees than we are for American citizens who are struggling. Congress recently passed legislation that allows Ukrainian refugees to collect social security benefits — to the tune of more than two grand per person in the household.

    Social security is a system that the beneficiaries have paid into over time. This would mean that our hard-earned dollars are going to help them and not the folks that it was intended. And neither party has solved the problem of making sure all eligible veterans receive their benefits. There are too many who are homeless.

    Integrity is the element that should stop a person from grabbing a firearm and harming innocent folks! If you cannot look at the various arguments without losing your cool, you have an Integrity problem.

    What Dr. Martin Luther King was trying to do with the civil rights movement was take people with integrity to look at society’s problems systemically and find nonviolent ways to solve such problems. He was quite successful in doing that.

    Today America needs an integrity check and begin to solve its problems in the best interest of all people. If not, we will destroy ourselves from the inside.

  • There is nothing like a good. . .

    There is nothing like a good teacher. Our educational system has a lot to be desired especially when being compared to foreign countries we’re not even in the top 20.

    But a truly good teacher is hard to find. Good being defined as one who unconditionally treats the children as little sponges that can absorb anything. These teachers change lives, inspire kids and builds confidents. They make learning fun and they make no distinction between the children. They do everything possible to make sure no child is left behind and they keep our kids safe.

    There is nothing like a good first responder! Whether you needed a firefighter, police officer or a paramedic these folks are gamechangers. They jump in the middle of tribulation and trials without regard for their own well being. They are selfless. They will be there when you need them without bias or fear. These individuals make the uniforms mean something and they are a blessing in any community. My heart still hearts for the Evalde, TX children who could have used such warriors but couldn’t find any. God bless our first responders.

    There is nothing like a good pastor! Someone who will lay down his life for his sheep. One who gives the right counsel in the time of confusion, a strong word in the moment of doubt and is a comfort to those in fear. A good pastor always prays, hopes, loves and endures. He has studied his craft and doesn’t live a contradicting life. He smells like sheep! Thankful for the pastor!!

    There is nothing like a good parent! It’s not easy to make a home and there are many broken and dysfunctional families in America but God bless the parent that keeps his family safe, provides a decent living, loves unconditionally, demonstrates and develops character, integrity and faith among the children. A good parent knows what the child needs before the child does. They nurture, teach, provide comic relief and empowers their children. Good parents teach their kids not to be bullies, to respect themselves and others, to work and play hard and most importantly to know Jesus. The parent is responsible for maintaining the sacred bond and trust between the parent and child for as long as they live!

    And finally, there is nothing like a good neighbor!! One who shows themselves friendly. A person who is helpful, resourceful and positive. A good neighbor cultivates a relationship that benefits both parties and does things never expecting any credit for it. A good neighbor keeps and eye on their surroundings to make sure it’s safe for all and they know when to get involved and when not to. Good neighbors build strong neighborhoods and even elevates the property value! Long life the good neighbor!

    Hopefully this blog as got you thinking of other good people in your life that are making a difference and to remember to give them their flowers before they die. 2023 is a good year to begin showing gratitude for the wonderful people God has place in your life!

  • Be who you want to be

    In Proverbs 23:7, the bible tells us that we are who we think we are. It literally says as a man thinketh, so is he. This is a very easy going statement that makes it seem that if a person thought they were great, then they would be. Or if I believed I could be a millionaire I could be. There is one common denominator that decides how true the statement is and it’s our belief.

    So many people have thought less of themselves or lacked confidence because of the way they were raised, or what someone said or the disposition of their family.

    Some even buckle under pressure to be something or act a certain way or even live up to another person’s expectations.

    Futher, we live in a society where people do a lot of comparing and measuring each other. We are pitted against another in competition and no one really wants to work together. As a result our society suffers from low self-esteem, self-worth and insecurities.

    The bible makes it so simple that your heart actually holds the key of who you can be and if you can see it, then you can be it! If you can be an eyewitness to other people’s accomplishments it’s easier to see the possibilities within yourself.

    So, we are now in 2023 and we want to make changes. The changes don’t have to be believed by anyone else but you. Right smack in the center of your heart will this change take place. You may doubt in your mind and your family and friends my not even want to support your change, but your change is for you!

    Stand tall and believe in your heart that on some level you can do anything anyone else can do. Follow your heart and allow yourself to grow and learn the character and depth of the person you really are. Look around you and see all the possibilities others have done and believe it because you are next!

  • Do you seriously care about causes?

    One of the great things about living in America is the freedom to protest. This government claims it will defend your right to do just that. I have to say “claims” because I still have the images of the protests during the Civil rights movement where water and dogs were used on peaceful protesters. Also, within the last 5 years with the Black Lives Matter movement and how brutal the police were to them.

    But my point is that causes are connected. It’s almost impossible to just protest one thing because chances are there are several issues within the cause you want to champion.

    Then, we tend to fail in the areas most important with causes — our solutions suck!

    For example, once upon a time teen pregnancy was shameful and the idea that you may get pregnant was a good deterrent for abstinence. Our country at that time was conservative and had a much better observance and reference for the word of God. There were government agencies that controlled what was acceptable over the airwaves and we made sure that what kids could see and learn in media would be something beneficial to their development.

    There were definitely protests regarding unwanted pregnancies and then adoption was the main source of handling them. Then some where the pregnancy dynamic became worse and some women (mostly poor and disenfranchised) sought their own methods of handling the problem (sometimes with a coat hanger of all things). Then Congress sought to solve this issue and put a bandaid on our unwanted baby problem and abortion was legalized. If you can’t beat them, join them philosophy.

    Now before abortion protests started, did we not see the deterioration of the American family? Did we miss how sex was overused to sell everything? Where were the protests for these because this is still happening today.

    We are depleting our resources, making animals that don’t belong to us extinct and using persevatives and additives in our foods that are slowly killing us. What’s our big cause again??

    The largest drug in America is not opiods, it’s sugar. Sugar is responsible for more degenerative diseases then anything else. Where are the protests?? Of all the “walks”, “races”, and “marathons” for cures, we haven’t cured a thing. Our health care system makes the majority of it’s money treating us instead of curing us and their prices are astronomical.

    Is it possible to have a cause of abortion, but not murder? Aren’t they the same thing. There are Christians in this country who are quick to protest abortion but won’t even speak of an unarmed Black man being murdered by police. We protest fur coats, but could care less about the treatment of pigs, chickens and cows.

    We would do well to check our causes so that when we protest (and I believe we should) we can be more productive with our solutions and actually make life easier for others. And above all else, we must avoid hypocrisy!

  • Happy appreciation day!

    Only part of the United States participates in this annual ritual known as Sweetest Day and I have been doing it wrong. Whereas Valentines Day is to celebrate romantic love, Sweetest Day is to appreciate all the folks in your life for who they are. Male or female doesn’t matter — it’s just a day of appreciation.

    Granted Hallmark gets excited when in comes around probably more than anyone else but in these tough times it’s good to take a day and evaluate relationships and appreciate them.

    I was reading an article about a woman who dropped her boyfriend off at Kroger and she stayed in the car. While she waited on him she took the opportunity to go through his phone only to discover he may have been having an inappropriate relationship with her sister.

    She was so enraged that she waited for him to come out of the store and she ran him over with the van — seriously injuring him and killing an innocent person walking out behind him. She then, stops the van, gets out and begins to attack her boyfriend while he is lying on the ground wounded.

    It appears as though she snapped and could not bear the information she discovered while invading his privacy. It is unclear if the sister was a minor or not but whatever she found, she was in that moment willing to give up or greatly alter her own life because of it. She, of course, is now facing a ton of charges and if convicted she will get life in prison.

    There are so many things wrong with this scenario. It is for this reason why we need to really evaluate the relationships we have to see if they are for better or for worse. To truly celebrate Sweetest Day we should first purge the toxic relationships and covet the really good ones. So here’s to all of you who are making this life better for others! The world would be nothing without you!

  • You always have a choice

    Choice is an act of decision making or selecting when faced with two or more possibilities. It’s given to everyone regardless of race, color, creed or gender. Even though there are powers that will attempt to destroy your choice, everyone still gets one.

    It seems as though the key to life would be to consistently make good decisions. Further, choice is one of those markers that reminds us that we are free.

    Our lives are filled with choices. We decide where to eat, live, work, play and sleep. We choose our mates and careers. We have a choice as to what gender to claim and what religion to believe.

    None of this is new information but it’s the backdrop to the real purpose of this blog and that is making bad decisions. Why is it that people make bad decisions or can’t see how illogical we can be at times. It seems that we struggle most with choices when our emotions are involved.

    Emotion tends to cloud our judgment and force us into seeing things as no-win scenarios. Then we make a flurry of bad decisions and next thing we know all hell has broken loose! We got pregnant, dropped out of school, started smoking, quit our jobs and stop going to church. We make decisions about our relationships that dig us into a hole and severe otherwise great friendships.

    Some would argue that we have too many choices. They believe that the bad choices say a lot about the development of our minds and that maybe we are not smart enough for all of these choices. With whatever stage of life you are in, it is important to make sound choices and count the cost before jumping feet first into an opportunity that sounds too good to be true.

    The worst part of bad decisions is the aftermath when you’re sitting in the mess you caused. It’s not rocket science. Choice should be logical and decisions should be rooted in common sense. And above all else, stay ahead of the learning curve.

  • We need another labor movement

    So Labor Day is coming and many will be off work, probably barbecuing and just simply relax. We deserve a day. We work hard. There was a time in our history where people worked 12-hour days for very low wages and even kids were working dangerous jobs for even lower wages. They worked on farms, mines and in factories.

    Labor day began as a huge protest for better wages and an 8-hour work day. They wanted restrictions on child labor and wanted to be able we to work hard and take part in the American dream.

    During an election year in the 1800s, then President Grover Cleveland made Labor Day a national holiday for fear of losing the election due to alienating the working class. More regulations followed and conditions got better over time.

    Remember this was the reason slavery was ended. Not so much because it was inhumane but because that free labor kept many without work because if you can get free labor, why would you want to pay a fair wage if you didn’t have to.

    Fast forward to the 21st century and we are still fighting for fair wages. There is still a huge gap in wealth and one percent still has waaaaaay more money and assests than the 99 percent. As a result, American went from being the No. 1 country to live in (1950s) to No. 17 today. Can you believe that there are 16 countries that live better than we do in America? We are delusional.

    The countries that are in front of us are all in the top 5 in multiple categories like wages, science, math, lifestyle, better climate, technology and mortality. We lead the world in 3 categories: Prison population, weapons of war and belief in Angels.

    Our problem is that we are not trying to be the best. We are not even trying to be fair. We are trying to maintain our current status where the rich get richer and the poor, stay poor.

    We are no where near the top 10 in wages, working conditions, lifestyle or income equality. We don’t even have the best social programs to help change generational curses and poverty among the poor. Sweden holds that title. Australia and Canada seem to alternate from No. 1 or No. 2 in many categories with Switzerland, Germany and New Zealand rounding out the top 5.

    We can do much better than we are doing. If you googled the best places to live you would shocked at what other places offer that we don’t. And it’s not that we can’t. We have a government that is self serving and won’t.

    This is why we need a new Labor Day protest to finish the job where the first left off. Labor Day started as a massive protest where everyone stopped working for a day. What if we stopped working a pay period? It would shutdown the country and Congress would respond immediately. Definitely something to think about while your working the grill this holiday.

  • Finding YOUR spot in this world

    One of the most fulfilling things in life is to know your place. To know where you fit in life and actually be doing something that builds your self worth is something everyone would want but few actually achieve.

    Opportunity has been covered in red tape and there are so many hoops to jump through that many people give up on chasing their dreams. It is as if our government wanted to keep people from achievement. It seems as if the rich have a hold on making the real money and instead of skill and ingenuity creating opportunities, who you know makes all the difference.

    The decision needs to first be made as to the thing that matters most: To seek fame or fortune; to have influence and power; or to make life easier or better for others. Other decisions like whether or not to go to college, start in the military or learn a trade are key. A person can succeed doing either of the three.

    Then understanding what moves you and what makes you feel alive. I’ve always asked myself the question is it a job that I would do for free. Then finally you have to make it work. And on the way to completing this task you learn many things about who you are and what you are made of. You learn your passions and your fears. You learn how you respond in problem solving and the things that frustrated you the most.

    Above all else you have to master the learning curve to secure your space under the sun. There really is enough world for all of us. You just have to carve out your own slice! Happy cutting!

  • Way too many hats

    The problem with Christianity today is that the Christian understanding of religion is played out in hats. What I mean is we process Christian traits like wearing a hat. So there is a hate for love, a hat for forgiveness, a hat for service, a blessed hat, a joyful hat and even a praise hat and depending on our mood we regularly switch hats.

    Unfortunately there are other hats. Hats of hatred, racism, anger, gossiping, back biting and lustful. We switch these hats on and off as well. The problem lies in the fact that we never lose the evil hats in this concept. Because when the wind blows there is of telling which hat we will wear.

    Further, in a moments notice someone can do something negative to me and my hat willing change instantly. For example, I could be wearing my happy hat, and then someone could start a political argument with me and the anger hat is summoned. I then willfully chose to put on the anger hat. You see I had a chance to keep on my happy hat, but my flesh rose up against me and anger seemed like the best hat.

    So for me to be better, I have to get rid of the hat system. It needs to be replaced with something better because it gives me too many negative choice. What I recommend is a tattoo system — yes, tattoo system. With the tattoo system I can have the fruit of the Spirit tattooed on me for choices and I can leave the works of the flesh alone. I don’t even need them as options.

    So what would it be like if we could only use what was tattooed on me? It means that when the flesh told me to become angry (and that isn’t an option), I would choice from my option menu and pick love. When offered the gossip option, I would choose to serve. This way my only options would be godly and I would no longer see the other negative things available.

    My friends, this is a choice you can make. Stop falling for the hat trick and get you some tattoos in Jesus name!