Tag: how we see ourselves

  • American satire: The media’s usual vision for covering news

    In America, it used to be that Fox News would slant stories more to the conservative end, and MSNBC would slant stories more to the liberal end, and we could rely on CNN to land somewhere near the middle. Today, media coverage is extremely biased and used more as a weapon than a resource.

    The only exception is when it comes to race. Last weekend in Mongomery, Alabama, on the riverfront where ironically slave ships dropped off its cargo, the media told us that a fight broke out involving many people, and lots of arrests were made.

    Those are the details, and that would be fine if we didn’t know what actually happened. If Black people were the aggressor, the media coverage would have been something like: “Several gang bangers were arrested after starting a brawl on the riverfront.”

    What actually happened was that a security guard was instructing people to move their boat from the area where they docked it. Words were exchanged, and the patron punched the guard, and the fight began. Several people came to the aid of the patron, and in seconds, they had the guard on the ground, punching and kicking him.

    Onlookers were outraged and came to the aid of the guard. So the fight that should have taken place 250 years ago on those same docks took place then. The groups were, of course, divided by race. Since the aggressors were Caucasian, the Caucasian media just called it a brawl – like it just started like a fire. Caucasian aggressors don’t fit the narrative. When Caucasians do aggressive things, the language is cleaned up to make it less horrible.

    Most mass shooters have been white males. There is actually a psychological reason for that, but I won’t go into it here. The point is that you would never hear the media say, “Yet another Caucasian male has killed several students and teachers in a school, police baffled as to the reason.”

    For decades, the media has villianized Black men in news reports, and we hear it so often that it sounds normal. The videos of the Montgomery incident have gone viral, and memes regarding the event are everywhere.

    Many are asking the question, what would you do if you were there? What side would you have taken, or would you have stayed out of it completely? For many, this was more than just a brawl. It was more than just some strangers coming to the aid of a man in need. It was finally the response that Gen z and Under would rather have learned in their history books. It was the response that mirrored what many have said they would have done if they were present back in the Jim Crow south. Finally, Black people banded together and fought back.

    Will this make future incidents worse?

  • History and truth need validation

    We live in a time that has the phrase “fake news” circulating through our language. Most of our country looks back at history and tries to cover up the wrong doing because of guilt. In fact, the further back we go the worst it gets. Our country is very divided which was the intent of some. We actually have people who are hoping for another civil war. Because of all these things and more, our history needs to be fact checked and validated.

    The greatest reason for this is so that we don’t repeat the mistakes. It’s always difficult to hold someone accountable in their ignorance. And it’s even more tedious to suffer someone through their wrongdoing. It really becomes taxing on everybody because our ignorance and forgetfulness tends to effect us in great numbers.

    Recently, the Queen of England died. She was on the throne for 70 years and whether she was a figure head or not, that monarch has a ton of innocent blood on it’s hands. Colonization of countries was their specialty and to reign over a place that terrorized countries for a living is not fashionable at all. Their entanglement in South Africa, Jamaica, Barbados and other places was absolutely horrible. But I guess if you live long enough people forget. She lost family members recently because they could no longer endure the racism. But I digress.

    America has a reputation for building weapons on mass destruction, incarcerating it’s citizens and racism. The Bill of Rights and freedoms we have on paper are great until they aren’t. Sure there are worse places you could live but measuring and comparing us based on our resources and what’s actually possible for us to do, we are definitely found lacking.

    This is a perfect place to live if you are wealthy — but that’s only one percent. For the rest of the 99 percent we have varying degrees of contentment and down right bankrupt individuals who are barely keeping their head above water. We have been repeating our past and finding better ways to be convert in our repeats. Our problems are systemic and design to maintain the status quo.

    As a country, we need to figure out exactly what we are trying to do and be honest about it. If we really have a plan to continue to disenfranchise citizens then say that. But based on resources, our country could be a place where everyone thrives.

    We need the correct history so that we can be more tolerant of each other. There are way too many injustices to name here but if we really wanted to correct the problems we have to start with admitting the wrong.

    We need a history check and an honest conversation about what type of country we really want to be.

  • Can your friends pass the rain test?

    Rochester, New York carries the distinction of consistently having the most rainy days in America. At 167 days on average, the good folks who live there have to keep an umbrella handy. And if we can us rain as a metaphor for trouble then to live a life with almost half of the days of the year being full of trouble wouldn’t make for a good life.

    With that much trouble you can’t help but blame yourself for your troubles. There are people sitting in prison right now angry over decisions that went wrong. Some trouble is expected in life but not that much. On the contrary, what would it take to have a life almost void of trouble? The sun shines in Arizona 85 percent of the time. You would think it would be called the sunshine state. So the sun and the rain symbolize the good and the bad and my point here is to analyze what separates the two.

    We know that decisions play a huge role but I believe the one holding your umbrella shares in the copability. I guess because of the way I feel about connectiveness and relationships it seems that if I’m holding your umbrella that I’m going to make sure you don’t get wet. Now every one doesn’t have the ability or desire to take responsibility for another person’s actions. I just believe that if we are truly partners then whatever is in me to do for you, I will do it. This is actually a biblical principle as the bible says that God shall supply all our needs according to his riches in glory (Phil. 4:19). Said another way it means that God will be using all of his resources to ensure we thrive. Is it possible to be that friendly with someone?

    The point is this: Our arsenal of friends should include soldiers who are dedicated to your success and well being. Likewise, you should be the flipside of that for your team. Make sure the folks in your circle really belong.

  • Living With regret

    I must admit that I don’t normally watch the Oscars, but I am a fan of the industry and I absolutely love Chris Rock and Will Smith. I would like to believe that these two guys would be friends of mine if they were not famous and lived near me. We are in the same age bracket and have a lot of similar qualities.

    Now with that said, I was going to be disappointed in both men for their actions. I was also going to be embarrassed by the actions of both as an African-American male because of the stereo-types that will follow as a result of what happened. And then I wanted to write a blog and explain all the things that they did wrong. Then it dawned on me that context is everything and I was putting these two men in a category they do not belong.

    What I mean by context is that we are witnessing the results of previous interactions we don’t understand or have no full knowledge of. It’s disappointing that the interaction we saw was violent but there is much more to this situation that we may never know about. In addition, if this were just two average men (any race) and one had slapped another it would not have made the news and we wouldn’t be discussing it. Their fame made this newsworthy.

    We place people in categories, sometimes sub consciously, but in our minds we decide whether a person is good, bad, ugly, charismatic, funny or talented among other things. We develop beliefs about these people based on the categories and then expectations are set. Then we become disappointed when our heroes (in this case) do not match the consistency of our expectations. This is what is happening with all the commentary posted on social media.

    What should happen is we realize the truth about what we saw: the fact that these two humans were placed in a human scenario and both had an opportunity to do good, but failed. I truly believe if they had a do-over they could make a better decision. But above everything they proved that they are human and that they are flawed. If they were placed in the “flawed human” category from the beginning, then this interaction would not dominate the news cycle.

    Shout out to Tyler Perry, Denzel Washington and others who tried to bring healing to the situation. Believe it or not, sometimes things are allowed to happened for the purposes of seeing what others would do. God uses this tactic more often than you think. So I wondered how many people thought to pray when the incident happened? I wonder how many others were willing to do what they could to bring healing to this situation? Both Smith and Rock will have many private interactions following this incident. I wonder how many of those conversations would be with people who are trying to honor God in the moment?

    It’s sad when your own actions cause you to live with regret. Every time Will looks at his Oscar, the memory of the slap will come into focus. Every Oscar ceremony from this point on will remember the slap. How many business deals will not happen for these two because of this incident? Have they made peace with their God? Michelle Obama rightfully said that when they go low we go high. Going high requires us to process things in the highest part of our brains — and that’s our spiritual side. I pray the learning curve happens for all who are involved.

  • We are nothing but animals…

    We can learn a lot from animals.

    As an employer, one of the questions I always ask applicants is that if they were an animal, which one would they be?

    It’s always interesting to hear the answers that I get.

    I have had market research interviewers say they would be sharks…

    I’ve had hospice sales people say they would choose to be dogs…

    And I’ve had clergy say they would be lions…

    You can actually learn much about a person by how they answer this question.

    Can you imagine that your daughter is dating a boy who says he is most like a wolf? Or how about an octopus? Or even a butterfly?

    All of these species mean something to this equation. All of them give a snapshot of who the person believes they are.

    In therapy, we learn how to turn a pussycat into a panther simply by giving him confidence. We learn to empower a victim who feels trapped like a rat.

    And we learn to tame the toughest tiger by controlling his anger.

    We do this through teaching the subjects the power of the mind. A person’s state of mind is the most powerful tool on this planet.

    It’s his state of mind that makes a firefighter run into a burning building to save someone. Their state of mind makes Olympians out of ordinary athletes. But it can also turn a victim into a killer or a heterosexual man gay.

    Buddha said:

    “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”

    Choose your animal wisely and be the best one you can be.