ClydeStyle

Category: Determination

  • Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of victory, but for what?

    For years I celebrated Cinco de Mayo thinking that it was the equivalent of the Fourth of July for Mexico. I grew up with Mexican neighbors, I still love Mexican food (minus all that cheese) and never did any of them ever correct my thinking. Cinco de Mayo is the celebration of the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.

    In the spirit of unlikely victories I’d like to say that I am dissatisfied with the way civil rights is rationed out in Christian America. Our civil rights movement of the sixties advanced African-Americans some. Not that African-American’s have arrived by any stretch of the imagination, but it just seems to me that those who have been through a struggle would reach back with empathy  to help others going through a struggle.

    Based on our history, you would think that on a massive scale, the Jewish nation would have done more things to assist African-Americans in their struggle. I’m not at all saying that nothing has been done, but with the reparations as a result of the horrible Holocaust and the fact that Jews maintained their identity through that process, Jews had information that would have changed the state of African-Americans today. Now I say this fully aware that most of the houses sold by Jews from the 60s-80s were sold to Blacks because Whites would not live in homes formally owned by Jews. Southfield, MI is a perfect example of this. There have been educational, healthcare, housing and other services given to assist African-Americans which were funded by Jews. These things were great helps in the struggle and they specifically dealt with the RESULTS of the struggle. I don’t know of anything done to PREVENT the struggle — and that’s my point. After slavery, Blacks needed direction and guidance. There was a need to know how the financial system functioned and ownership of real estate. Other than Tulsa’s Black Wall Street (and we know what happened to it!), this knowledge was missing. I wonder what if the Jews taught Blacks how to succeed much like the Native American taught the pilgrims how to succeed what would things look like now?

    Fast forward to the 21st Century and African-Americans should be doing more to help Mexicans and Hispanics in their struggles with this nation. The very same struggles that we are still trying to overcome. Granted this should be the responsibility of everyone including federal, state and local authorities. When you start running statistics you will see that Jews went through some very horrible things here in America. African-Americans are still going through some horrible things in this country. And Mexicans and Hispanics are catching hell right now. From being kicked out of our country, to not having their healthcare disparities even addressed, to not receiving fair wages and benefits for work and poor education.

    I don’t mean to sound harsh or offensive, but we need to stop accepting the unspoken pecking order that ranks the races.  I want to do something about this. I’m not sure what exactly, but I would like to do something to help with this cause. I realize that there are a lot of causes out there, but this Cinco de Mayo I would like to not only celebrate the Battle of Puebla with them, but I also want to end that celebration, by asking them what I can do to help. What about you?

  • Spring Forward

    One way to look at this weekend is to say that we have lost an hour or we had to repay the hour we stole in the fall.

    Benjamin Franklin came up with this idea of manipulating time in order to have more daylight. The point was it would give us another hour of light for productivity.

    We’re using the light, but the productivity part is questionable.

    I would like to borrow Ben’s concept of “springing forward” to make a point. Many are suffer with and from a troubled past. If we are not constantly reminding ourselves about what we’ve done wrong, there’s always someone else ready to take this job over for us.

    We are unable to move forward because we are stuck in the past. It’s hard to move ahead when you’re constantly looking back. We all need to consider the idea of “springing forward” to a better place than where we are today. To not be complacent or content with mediocrity, but be the best we can be.

    The Apostle Paul instructs us this way: “… forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:13,14).

    This is our springing forward! This is our time to let go of bad things from the past and press toward the mark today.

    Don’t allow the circumstances of the past to dictate what your future looks like.

    Spring forward my friend!

  • We are nothing but animals…

    We can learn a lot from animals.

    As an employer, one of the questions I always ask applicants is that if they were an animal, which one would they be?

    It’s always interesting to hear the answers that I get.

    I have had market research interviewers say they would be sharks…

    I’ve had hospice sales people say they would choose to be dogs…

    And I’ve had clergy say they would be lions…

    You can actually learn much about a person by how they answer this question.

    Can you imagine that your daughter is dating a boy who says he is most like a wolf? Or how about an octopus? Or even a butterfly?

    All of these species mean something to this equation. All of them give a snapshot of who the person believes they are.

    In therapy, we learn how to turn a pussycat into a panther simply by giving him confidence. We learn to empower a victim who feels trapped like a rat.

    And we learn to tame the toughest tiger by controlling his anger.

    We do this through teaching the subjects the power of the mind. A person’s state of mind is the most powerful tool on this planet.

    It’s his state of mind that makes a firefighter run into a burning building to save someone. Their state of mind makes Olympians out of ordinary athletes. But it can also turn a victim into a killer or a heterosexual man gay.

    Buddha said:

    “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”

    Choose your animal wisely and be the best one you can be.

  • Resolutions should be a way of life

    Of the 50 percent of Americans who make resolutions, 90 percent of them break their resolution by the middle of January.

    It seems that the end of a year gives us a temporary conscience. It bothers us enough to acknowledge that there are things in our lives that need fixing, but nothing about the New Year makes us want to do anything more than admit it and move on.

    We know that there are people who don’t need to be in our lives and there are things we need to just flat out stop doing. Whether that is ending a destructive relationship or maintaining a healthy blood sugar level, we need to be far more serious about this.

    Here is a practical way to keep your resolutions. Don’t do a resolution for a year; do them by the day, hour or even minute.

    A resolution is a way of admitting we’re wrong and need to be better regarding something in our life. Why not make the idea of resolving ourselves a way of life? What would be wrong with keeping the imperfection ever before us – even to the point of letting others know that you recognize the need to change in this area. Then legitimately work on it. Really commit to the change and raising the bar of expectation in your life.

    By doing this daily, I think you will find that those around you will begin to acknowledge a different you. After all, that’s what we all want anyway, right?

  • Turning the page on another year

    2010 is on its way out.

    It ran the course it was supposed to and things happened this year as they were supposed to. So we bid farewell to this year and hopefully look to a brighter 2011.

    I find life to pass like reading the pages of a book. Life is nothing but a book, really. Each day is a page we turn. Some pages we want to linger with and others we want to turn away from right at the start.

    If we could continue this book theme for a moment, I’d like to share some things with you regarding your life.

    Our life is like an open book. We try not to let everyone read us, but sometimes those that are reading, spread the news about what they have read. We try to turn pages and allow our book to be read, and it seems that there are always people who want to turn back to pages that were uncomfortable for you. These people like to remind you of all the bad things written in your book, but they never want to talk about the good stuff.

    There are also people who are jealous of the things written in your book and they take time away from reading their own books to talking negatively about what’s in yours.

    Still there are other people who would have you skip pages in your book and not let you experience every page. Just imagine someone telling you that you were too old for something or someone.

    Not only do we have people reading things into our book, we can sometimes be are own worst enemy. How many mistakes have we repeated? I know I’ve made the same mistakes that have appeared on pages 11, 19, 33, 47, 51 and 69. Some mistakes are hard to shake.

    There are also negative things in our book that we won’t let go of. We want to sit and sulk about something in the past instead of moving forward.

    Turn the page my friend. Allow the new to replace the old and embrace the challenges of the future as you learn from the old things written in your book. So get ready to turn the page on 2010 and don’t be afraid to share your book with others. Your life story may be the only hope they have!

    Welcome, 2011!

  • The parable of the lines: part 2

    Parables are always wonderful stories. Jesus Christ is the master teacher and he told them far better than any man. This little parable of the lines gives us great insight to the condition of America.

    There is a condition in our country that creates a permanent underclass. We have generations of people living on government assistance and this is never what FDR intended when his administrator looked for a way to provide temporary help for families in need. Families were quite different during that time.

    There were many jobs to be had and they required little or no skill. A person back then could graduate from high school and secure a good enough living to sustain a family. Somewhere along the way we got greedy and began to get paid more for doing less. This sense of entitlement is what led to the first and second lines.

    Struggle has become a way of life for so many in our country that it seems most don’t mind residing in the first two lines.  The second line at least tried to work out a plan and purpose for their lives, but their efforts were met with rules that were against them and a lack of real opportunity. The largest part of that opportunity comes because despite America being culturally diverse, the people doing the hiring are not interested in creating a staff that is culturally diverse.

    What we have then and now is the hiring managers and the gatekeepers of the majority of our jobs hire those people who they feel most comfortable hiring – which is normally a person of the same race. That wouldn’t be a problem if the gatekeepers and hiring managers were already diversified. Now this does not make them all racists. It means that this trend has helped to create this permanent underclass. Still many companies are just now hiring their first black this or their first Hispanic that. And I’m talking about the real jobs, not the minimum wage gigs or the middle management positions. I’m talking about the six figure jobs.

    The third line is basically your middle class and this group is just trying to prove that the American Dream does exist. It’s the group that doesn’t like everything that is going on, but because their scenarios are not as bad as others, they grin and bear it. The interesting part is that more of this class is beginning to understand how the fourth line got to be the way it is.

    The fourth line cheated, benefited from old money and/or knew someone that showed them the way. It’s sad, but true.

    This parable really is about change and the real need we have in America to change. This is one of a thousand scenarios that could describe this trend. We are in trouble. If we stay the course, we won’t make it. We need to wake up and be heard. What are you prepared to do?

  • The parable of the lines

    So there was this very large storehouse filled with people of all races. Inside were a few lines. One line ran from inside of the building to the outside and wrapped several times around the building. The entrance to the building had a sign posted that said: “Dare to Dream.”

    This first line that stretched outside the door was filled with those who had no plan for their life. In this line were people who just lived their lives day by day, no plan, no sense of urgency, just existing. Many in this line were hoping to get a handout or help from the owner of the storehouse. Every blue moon the store owner would toss the folks in this line a bone, but clearly it was nothing worthy of staying in this line. This line was also cloaked so those standing in it could pretend to be anything or anybody they wanted. Basically, something to keep them occupied while they stood in line doing nothing. They dreamed of hitting the lotto, finding a bundle of money or getting rich through inheritance – anything but earning the living themselves.

    Once inside it was easy to see that there were several other lines. The line closest to the first line didn’t have as many people in it, but it had an equal share of minorities as did the first. Of all the lines in the storehouse, the first and second lines had far more minorities per nationality. In the second line were folks who actually had a plan, but a combination of things changed the course of where they were going. Some had problems from within themselves. They doubted themselves or just didn’t have the proper nurturing growing up to believe they could succeed. These folks were also stifeld by outside influences. Empty promises, prejudices, storehouse rules and other people in the same line and the first line seemed to be the largest contributors. It seems as though both lines were taught to discriminate against each other. They never hated their oppressors, just each other.

    The third line was the first true productive line and it was set on an incline. It was harder to advance in this line, but just by the fact that you were in this line had certain benefits. This line lived better than the first two. The folks in this line knew more about line rules than the others. They knew not to get into the first two lines. They knew that the harder line would have the incline, but it would also have the greatest benefits. These people designed a plan and worked diligently to execute it with success.

    At first glance inside this storehouse, it looked like there were only three lines, when in actuality there was a fourth line. Instead of having a traditional line where people would line up behind each other. This line (if we could call it that) was simply a wall and a rope. The rope was very thick and rugged. The rope didn’t even look like anyone had used it to climb, but it was there. Occasionally some folks from the third line made it over to the fourth line, but the rope was just too rugged and thick for climbing. Many fell attempting the climb.

    The store owner was of the privileged in this line. When you asked anyone in the fourth line how they got over, they all respond with the same story: They fought through until they got to the top of the wall and then jumped over. There are lots of rumors about the fourth line. No one in the third line believed their story and even some in the second line questioned it. Evidence has been gathered of a trampline behind the wall in the fourth line. So are these guys really climbing or is there a secret to their success?

    What does this parable mean to you?

  • I can’t?

    Isn’t it funny how the mind works? I remember when I was in grade school and instead of attempting to master math, I spent the most productive hours convincing myself that math was “too hard” and that it “made no sense” and that it was “stupid to do.”

    I really convinced myself of that. Imagine that? I discovered years later that I could totally get my mind to buy into something. Today, it makes me take inventory of my life experiences to see what else I have talked myself into.

    Some of us have talked ourselves into marriage. Some of us had to convince ourselves that the things are parents did were not wrong, it was just the way they expressed their love. Some of us had to convince ourselves that we are worthless and have no value. Still others have convinced themselves that they are the problem and not the other person. Some are convinced that their spiritual leader must be right, or he wouldn’t be a spiritual leader.  All of this convincing causes us to live in pain – whether emotional, spiritual, mental or physical – we’re hurting … real bad!

    It seems we have forgotten the simple lessons when someone is trying to sell us something. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. If it takes some convincing, then it was probably the wrong thing. There is always a reason why we have our reservations. But it seems we have a soft spot for ourselves. We want to believe that we care enough about ourselves to never lead US astray.

    Unfortunately we do it often.

    I can convince myself to love, hate, fight, hold a grudge, spend money, be comfortable with being wrong, gossip, mistreat people and settle. There is no end to what I can convince my mind to do.

    Did you catch what I just said?

    All of us have the ability to convince ourselves of anything. What if we were to convince ourselves to seek positive change, be honest with ourselves and those around us. What if we convinced ourselves to save money, love one another, glorify God or even resist the devil.

    We need to take a self inventory of what we believe and how we came to believe it. Were we convinced by someone or self? Is what we believe true? To search ourselves and answer these questions is another way we can be free.

    We could totally eliminate the words “I can’t” from our lives.

    Then what would our reality be? What would it be like for us to exercise this over ourselves for the betterment of self. Is it too late for a situation or circumstance to be effected by this? Will we let fear stop us from doing what the rest of our being already knew to do?

    Let’s not waste our minds on “I can’t.”

  • A little bit more

    Every time I watch any of the Rocky series, I always seem to get caught up in the outcome. Saying I get caught up is an understatement. I even get quite emotional. The reason is because I can really relate. I haven’t boxed in years and I’m not talking about relating to boxing. I’m talking about being able to relate to struggle.

    Of all the things that have been written about determination, I like this quote the best: “Four short words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: a little bit more. They did all that was expected of them and a little bit more.” Now I’m not sure who said this quote or where I originally read it, but it has been something that I often think about or focus on during difficult times.

    I believe all successful people would at some point credit self determination as a catalyst to their success. Success of course is relative to what you want out of live and your decision to get it. We have to decide to be successful.

    I don’t intend to make success seem like rocket science. I believe everyone is living the life they planned. I realize that this may be hard for some to take, but whether you planned to succeed or didn’t make a plan at all, your life is following a course. You determine whether it’s good or bad.

    Determination is defined as the act of deciding definitely and firmly. Former President Abe Lincoln said, “Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way.”

    If you haven’t heard it before, let me tell you that whoever you are and it doesn’t matter where you are from, success is yours. All you have to do is first decide that you want it. Once you firmly decide to want something, this is the key to doing everything. I’ve often said that the only thing different between someone who has succeeded and someone who has failed is the fact that the successful one believed they could be successful. That’s it. Not education, not who they knew, not anything else but belief.

    So I gotta ask you. What do you believe?