ClydeStyle

Category: Giving

  • Lessons confirmed in 2012

    20130104-234856.jpgIf you are reading this blog, then once again there were foolish folks that believed the world ended a few weeks ago. We should all be thankful we made it out of 2012.

    I have to say that I didn’t learn any “new” lessons, but I definitely confirmed some lessons I thought I knew. It’s always good to recap the previous year so that the next year is better. Each year we’re supposed to get better. Life is supposed to get easier. After all we matured didn’t we?

    Well, I hope that you are enjoying the new year and you are already working your plan of action to make 2013 better than 2012. With that said, here are the top 5 things I confirmed in 2012. I’d love to hear about your list.

    1) Read more non-fiction books and watch less TV! This one is a no-brainer. TV is run by corporate America and it is designed for one thing: To get you to buy the ads you see. There is science that supports the ability for ads to reach your subconscious mind. Your spending habits are linked to this. Now before you go thinking that I’m crazy, there is a company called NeuroFocus and they probe consumers subconscious by using Electroencephalography (I’m not smart enough to make up a word like this). The other problem with TV other than being a big waste of time is how your body handles your emotional reactions to shows. For example, whenever you get angry, your blood pressure rises and your arteries take a hit especially among older groups. So when you get so into a character on a show and their actions make you angry, your body doesn’t say, “Oh, you’re just watching TV.” Since your body can’t tell the difference, it handles that situation as if you were really angry.

    2) Life is too short so to maximize your time you should spend time letting the people close to you know how important they are to you. Your circle of trust should know who they are. Your family should know they are loved because they heard you say it as well as demonstrate it. You should make sure you are living forgiven meaning that no one should die thinking you have a grudge with them or that you thought ill of them. Be known as a giver and allow others to benefit from your generosity — not just your money, but even more important is your time.

    3) Get your house in order and keep it that way. This means that no matter how old you are the people close to you should know your advance directives and your wishes at end of life. We don’t know when our time is up, so it’s always a good thing — no matter how old you are — to have a plan and let those closest to you know what your plan is and the role they play in that plan. If you have done this, every year it’s a good idea to make sure it is current and your wishes are still the same. You want to make sure that the people involved in your plan at the end of life are still willing to carry out your wishes at the end.

    4) Everyone needs a day of rest. God rested from his labors on the seventh day and he created us with the idea that we would need a break from the natural rhythm of life to reset. There is an awesome book written by Dr. Marva Dawn called “Keeping the Sabbath Holy” and she beautifully describes this concept and gives a lot of great information on the topic.

    5) One of the most hurtful things is to have expectations for someone or something and get let down. It would help us all to remember that in America we make money. That’s what we do above all else. There are some secondary things that we do, but due to big business and politics, our system is flawed. Case in point: Sandy relief was recently left for the next session of congress because there was so much other stuff (like a new roof for the Smithsonian Institute) written into the bill. One would think that a bill with the subject Sandy Relief fund would only include things immediately related to people. I’m sure the Smithsonian probably does need a new roof, but at this point it is at the expense of the Sandy survivors. Our wars are about money and greed. There is an excellent documentary series by Oliver Stone on Showtime that talks about the untold history of the United States. It’s a sobering look at how the world sees and has seen our country over the years. This documentary has challenged me to re-evaluate what’s important to me and to help make America truly beautiful. Make the most of 2013 my friend!

  • I wish I could gift wrap common sense this year

    tumblr_m6z628lfAf1r566gro1_500Years ago I would have said that it seems around this time of the year that people loose their minds when it comes to shopping. Now I have to say that all year round there are constant reminders that all sense is not common.

    This year in particular it is really difficult to see anyone down on their luck when you go to the malls. People are shopping, but the shopping experience is not jolly. There are lots of attitudes, ignorance, selfishness and foolishness to go around — and that just the store employees. In addition, customers are ungrateful, unruly, liars and theives — and I saw all of this in just two hours at the mall.

    I couldn’t help but wonder wht is this all for? Is it all to make someone in a day feel like we should have made them feel all year? Is it our way of trying to buy off someone’s forgiveness instead of just apologizing? Or are we trying to make up for lost time or for not being there or for someone missing?

    Wouldn’t it be nice if we spent the entire year helping other people and then used this time of the year thanking folks for it? Imagine if we all had the mission of making a difference in our communities and that the more we made a difference, the less taxes we had to pay. Wouldn’t it be cool if thinking was a requirement and you were given tickets for not thinking in public? I guess the more we live the lesson is the same, all sense ain’t common! I just wish I could have Santa bring this gift to a few folks so that they can have a better New Year!

  • But God,

    Attention everyone!

    This is a break from the election junk. Please remember to vote Nov. 6 for whoever you support because it is your right.

    I was explaining to a group of kids this past week about my selection for president. Now before you think that I’m getting ready to give you my personal views on the candidates don’t worry. That’s not what I told the kids and it’s not what I’m going to waste your time on either.

    What I told them was about two of my favorite words in scripture and when these two words come together, look out! The two words I’m referring to are “But” and “God”. If my life were a manuscript, after every calamity it would read “but God.” After every screw up, every sin, every problem, every worry and every confession, I have been able to say “but God.”

    I’m very proud of this fact. I have personally experienced the unmerited favor of the Lord. Every time I read Ephesians 2:3-6 I get goose pimples because it is very personal to me. Paul writes: “Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lust of our flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. BUT GOD, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;).”

    It’s not enough to simply know that we are sinners. It’s really the idea that we could experience such great love and not have earned it. It’s really that we have been granted peace, given grace and experience mercy. The level of forgiveness is not of this world and for this, all God wants us to do is trust and obey.

    It is this fact that makes me not a candidate for judging others. I am not a candidate eligible to sit on the same level as God and condemn anyone. BUT GOD did invite me to love, forgive, help, comfort, educate and nurture all of mankind. It’s the privilege I have as a child of the King. I have to always remember who is in control — and it ain’t ever been me. I’m glad that God sits high and looks low and shows favor to his children.

    No matter what happens on Nov. 6, I will be content where I am because God is in charge and I am eternally grateful for that. So when things go wrong and situations get out of hand, I hope like me you can smile and say, “But God.”

  • Greet one another

    An acute characteristic of a Christian ought to be that he or she is very friendly. I have heard many congregations say that they are the friendliest church around, but most times when you attend you can barely get a handshake.

    Christ seemed to have a natural way with people. It always fascinates me that crowds of sinner hung around just to hear what he had to say. Jesus was always gentle with them. He never made the feel like they were sinners. He never made them feel like he was better than them. And he never made them feel like they didn’t belong.

    But beyond making them feel welcomed, through his words he always gave them something valuable – the words of life.

    Every moment was like a teaching moment for Jesus. He never lost sight of his mission and he understood that how he greeted people would directly effect his ministry. He never gave people a license to sin or made them feel comfortable in sin. What Jesus did was profound: He accepted where they were in life and gave them words to move them forward.

    The woman he met at the well in John 4 is a great example. Despite the obvious differences of Jesus being Jewish and the woman being a Samaritan, Jesus did something to show her instant acceptance. He asked her for a drink of water. When she heard the question she had a hard time digesting it. She knew he didn’t have anything to drink with meaning that he would have to drink from her cup.

    That’s not something a Jewish person would have done at that time. This would have been worse than a White person drinking from the “colored” fountain in Mississippi in 1930!

    Jesus with one question did more to build a relationship with someone different than many Christians do today. To have the same Spirit of Christ we have to have the ability and desire to walk in his steps.

  • What being a dad means to me

    I’m in love with being a dad,

    I give my kids what I wished I had.

    They live their little lives and have no clue

    of the sacrifices made and the things I do.

    I watch them grow up and I’m surprised at what I see,

    a son and two daughters who remind me of me.

    I get to provide for them, I’d die for them; I love to make a fuss,

    I teach them to be responsible and try not to cuss.

    With eyes so big and full of joy,

    he’s full of potential, I’m talking about my boy!

    Two heads full of hair and smiles that light up the night,

    My daughters are gorgeous and they’re being raised right.

    To be their protector and teacher is an honor for me

    I learn more from teaching them who they really ought to be.

    I thank God each day for the three I got,

    You put your hands on my babies you will probably get shot!

    I love you son, daughter and baby girl too,

    I hope you appreciate your dad as much as he appreciates you!

  • The truth about forgiveness

    Friends,

    How often have you heard that we are supposed to forgive and forget? This has even been attributed as a biblical principle – the only problem is that God never told us to forgive AND forget.

    Consider this: We are VERY human and in our carnal state it is not remembering the sin that is wrong, it’s how we remember it.

    If I am remembering someone else’s trespass against me for the purposes of fueling my hatred toward them, then God’s going to have a problem with that.

    If I am remembering the trespass as a reminder of how human we all really are and to fuel my compassion toward humanity, then God will be pleased.

    You see, we can’t expect God to forgive us if we are unwilling to forgive others — was this not the Lord’s prayer?

    Not to mention that Jesus also said that if we didn’t forgive genuinely (from the heart) our brother his trespasses, then God would not forgive us (Matt.18:35).

    The issue I like to focus on is how much more the world will get to understand our God by the way we forgive. Any fool can seek revenge, but it takes a child of God to love their enemies, have compassion for those who persecute and give grace to evildoers.

    You don’t forgive people because they ask for it or because they deserve it. You forgive my friend because you have been forgiven.

    Selah

  • Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of victory, but for what?

    For years I celebrated Cinco de Mayo thinking that it was the equivalent of the Fourth of July for Mexico. I grew up with Mexican neighbors, I still love Mexican food (minus all that cheese) and never did any of them ever correct my thinking. Cinco de Mayo is the celebration of the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.

    In the spirit of unlikely victories I’d like to say that I am dissatisfied with the way civil rights is rationed out in Christian America. Our civil rights movement of the sixties advanced African-Americans some. Not that African-American’s have arrived by any stretch of the imagination, but it just seems to me that those who have been through a struggle would reach back with empathy  to help others going through a struggle.

    Based on our history, you would think that on a massive scale, the Jewish nation would have done more things to assist African-Americans in their struggle. I’m not at all saying that nothing has been done, but with the reparations as a result of the horrible Holocaust and the fact that Jews maintained their identity through that process, Jews had information that would have changed the state of African-Americans today. Now I say this fully aware that most of the houses sold by Jews from the 60s-80s were sold to Blacks because Whites would not live in homes formally owned by Jews. Southfield, MI is a perfect example of this. There have been educational, healthcare, housing and other services given to assist African-Americans which were funded by Jews. These things were great helps in the struggle and they specifically dealt with the RESULTS of the struggle. I don’t know of anything done to PREVENT the struggle — and that’s my point. After slavery, Blacks needed direction and guidance. There was a need to know how the financial system functioned and ownership of real estate. Other than Tulsa’s Black Wall Street (and we know what happened to it!), this knowledge was missing. I wonder what if the Jews taught Blacks how to succeed much like the Native American taught the pilgrims how to succeed what would things look like now?

    Fast forward to the 21st Century and African-Americans should be doing more to help Mexicans and Hispanics in their struggles with this nation. The very same struggles that we are still trying to overcome. Granted this should be the responsibility of everyone including federal, state and local authorities. When you start running statistics you will see that Jews went through some very horrible things here in America. African-Americans are still going through some horrible things in this country. And Mexicans and Hispanics are catching hell right now. From being kicked out of our country, to not having their healthcare disparities even addressed, to not receiving fair wages and benefits for work and poor education.

    I don’t mean to sound harsh or offensive, but we need to stop accepting the unspoken pecking order that ranks the races.  I want to do something about this. I’m not sure what exactly, but I would like to do something to help with this cause. I realize that there are a lot of causes out there, but this Cinco de Mayo I would like to not only celebrate the Battle of Puebla with them, but I also want to end that celebration, by asking them what I can do to help. What about you?

  • Smelling the roses

    The latest census says that those who are 85 and older are now the fastest growing population. We could learn much from these aged pill takers.

    I recently had the pleasure of talking with a few of them and in no particular order, these are the top 10 things I learned:

    1) Wake up with the sun. Too many young folks sleep the day away and are unproductive. Wake up with a purpose and enjoy the sunrise.

    2) Read twice as much as you watch TV.

    3) Deny yourself and save money.

    4) Eat healthy so that you can enjoy your golden years.

    5) Get plenty of sleep.

    6) Drink plenty of water.

    7) Get plenty of exercise.

    8) Control your use of technology; don’t let technology control you.

    9) Enjoy family.

    10) Practice loving everybody.

    I wonder what it would be like if we spent 2012 with these 10 suggestions?

    They all seem so obvious, but why don’t we do them? Who wants to wait for a degenerative disease to happen before we begin to take care of ourselves.

    This age group is far more conservative, morally intellectual, far more cultural and more responsible than the generations after them.

    Let’s accept the lessons and the responsibility that follows. If not, we might not have any roses to smell.

  • How about your life?

    Are you enjoying life?

    This is a simple “yes” or “no” question that you should be able to answer immediately.

    This question is so relevant to the perspective of the person answering. We could assume that a six year old who got everything he wanted for Christmas would probably answer in the affirmative. While a family living in their mini van because a bank took their home of 22 years and sold it for less than half of what they owed may simply answer this question with a look — a look of disgust, a look of betrayal and a look of hopelessness.

    We as a country were once proud to say we were the land of the free and the home of the brave. We bragged about how our ancestors migrated here in search of a better life. Many have benefited for what those ancestors accomplished.

    We became spoiled with all of the benefits most of us had. Then we went from spoiled to arrogant. Some began to acted like they created the benefits instead of just merely being a recipient of them.

    Some got greedy and now spend their days trying to make it difficult for others to come here seeking a better life. And all of that negative energy makes life enjoyable for no one.

    For the little kid who takes his ball and heads home from the playground angry because he didn’t get his way, he will only be sad to get home and find there is no one to play with. The folks he left at the playground are without a ball now, so they can’t play either.

    No one wins in this scenario. Not the playground dwellers nor the ball keeper.

    It seems that the ancestors knew how to play ball and get along with everyone on the playground. When more people came to play, they created more playground equipment and more games and everyone enjoyed.

    Now, there is only a small percent of ball keepers with attitudes and a host of playground dwellers who are hopeless. There is nothing being created so there’s no growth and no one is happy.

    It is not what we have or have acquired that makes us happy for happiness is much deeper than that. What we do, even the decisions we make and how we feel about the results of those decisions are the real source of happiness and will lead to an enjoyable life.

    So if you spent your time screwing people over for a profit or getting ahead on the backs of others, that may make you rich, but you’re no where near happiness for happiness cannot be acquired this way.

    But if you are spending this life enhancing the lives of the people around you, making a positive difference in the area you dwell and taking advantage of the opportunities God places before you, I already know how you would answer the opening question. Those around you know how you would answer. Now we have to reach those who still haven’t gotten it.

  • The family constellation

    The family is the most important institution in the world. It is the cornerstone of our society and an incubator for the future generations.

    It is important to take care of this institution. Our future depends on it.

    I believe that we need to apply some basic bible principles of love, collective work and responsibility and faith.

    I compare this to a well-oiled basketball team. All the great teams have the same thing in common. Each player cares about the other. The work is shared and everyone wants to do their part. The group also believes in each other and the cause that they are going for — whether it be the championship or striving for the good life.

    Each member of the team or family plays an important part. The guards are the first line of defense on one side and the initiators of the offense on the other side. The forwards attack and defend the baseline of the goal and the center brings balance.

    In a family of five, one scenario could be a strong wife (point guard); oldest child (shooting guard); the other two kids playing the forward positions and the dad is the center.

    Problems occur when some members don’t feel like they are a part of the team or choose not to hold up their end of the bargain. Family commitment is important and this is a good time to recommit to the health and welfare of the family.

    Parents need to believe it! Children need to see it! And the world needs to follow the example!

    Long live the family!