ClydeStyle

Category: guilt

  • Election season is one big storm for both parties

    The Republican party sees themselves as this big.

    It is sad that we can not put our trust in either political party. I can’t remember things being this bad, and I’ve been paying attention for nearly 50 years.

    Our criteria need to change. We desperately need an age limit, and I would add a financial limit. Imagine if Congress could only be between the ages of 35 to 65 and could not reside in a household that makes more than 400k? The smartest people in our society are definitely not the richest. The level of greed in our government is killing us and not a benefit to the middle class and poor.

    In addition, we need to give up the party system. We already know that there are conservatives and liberals in both parties already. Neither party has been a benefit to the average American. Further, the rich in Congress is out of touch with what the middle class and poor need.

    This is a perfect symbol of the Democrat party.

    We need good wages and a better credit system that works for us and not against us. We need universal healthcare, and everyone should be able to afford to by a house. For example, instead of loans being based on income, the majority should be based on work consistency. A two parent family should be able to live comfortably in America.

    We spend way too much on the military, and as a country, we don’t need to be involved in everything. We have spent more money on Ukraine than we have provided for our poor in this country.

    Every politician has this Pinocchio effect.

    Corruption is at an all-time high. Promises are made and not honored; a “tit for tat” mentality runs rampant with our government; and far too many people are struggling.

    What was once progression has turned into our demise. We need to take serious notice of the America we think we are. Change is need immediately!

  • Judges Thomas and Alito are just the tip of the iceberg

    Life constantly proves that we are flawed. As a part of our moral development, we should seek to excel in integrity, goodness, truth, and character, but we have lost our way.

    If we can no longer expect our Supreme Court justices to be honest, how can we expect it in other courts? It seems that there is always a problem when people don’t speak out against injustice. We made that a habit in our country, and it still hinders us today.

    The only thing needed to start a revolution after slavery ended would have been for whites to stand up and acknowledge wrongdoing. If some would have just called it as they saw it because never is it ok to make people property.

    During the Civil Rights movement, our legislative, judicial, and executive branches had a golden opportunity to move our country light years ahead by simply speaking up for what is right! Today, there are horrible police practices that many police, if they were not guilty themselves, could denounce as evil, but they stand silent. Some of the districts that our children are supposed to be educated in are failing. Some of that failure is “teacher failure,” but no one is saying that. Prison conditions in America are deplorable, and very little is being done to change it. Veterans still don’t have all of their promised benefits, but again, we are quiet.

    It’s hard to name an area of interest that isn’t corrupt. Pastors in churches are taking advantage, and some are even getting paid to sell a bad version of hope. And even in the presidency — from Trump to Biden — there are major struggles with integrity and truthfulness.

    Sadly, it seems that we declared independence from the wrong things. Where we should have set ourselves free from lies, laziness, selfishness, and bigotry, we embraced these and would go on to forsake fairness, honor, moral virtue, and serving others. Our freedoms are not for the better but the worse in America. We are free to dishonor our constitution and look out for number one — self!

    There are more justices guilty. We will see more police brutality, bad teachers, and corrupt politicians. And unless there is accountability being enforced, America will implode from within. We won’t have to worry about foreign enemies destroying us. We’re killing ourselves.

  • Playing the blame game

    Now that the new year has started it seems that we all would want to make some positive changes in our lives. There should be some kind of learning curve from year to year.

    Each area of our lives should be re-examined to see if certain things need adjusting. One of our greatest wastes of time is or need to blame others. There is a such thing as the “blame game” and we play it when we feel at a disadvantage. That disadvantage could be that we already know we were wrong and we want to divert attention away from it or we are expecting to be blamed for something we didn’t do. In either case, we want to get the first “shots” fired.

    Does it really matter who’s to blame? It just seems as though finding a fix or solution for the issue or problem would make more sense. It seems like we are infatuated with drama. Somehow the detailed facts of the drama captivate us to the point that we lose focus on what really matters. What a time waster!!!

    It’s time to leave this time waster in the past and begin anew the things that are more profitable to us. As the 90s group TLC would suggest: Start solving and managing your own problems and don’t get siked out trying to chase waterfalls. Just stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to.

    Treat your time as precious and valuable as it is and don’t participate in untruthful arguments or conversations this year. Let’s this year be the year of peace and tranquility. Covet your rest and relaxation and stay hydrated. Stay busy and active and watch what you eat as food can greatly effect your mood.

    And finally, regularly pray. Talk to God about everything and then meditate and get read for his answer to your prayers. Trust God and live your best life!! Go be great!!!

  • No rest for the guilty

    Guilt is the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime. The feelings surrounding this fact are what bothers us the most. It’s not just the uneasy feeling but there is a definite sense of darkness that seems to follow you when you’re guilty.

    It’s always been hard to accept when we are wrong. No one enjoys it. It proves that we missed something or that we are not as smart as we thought we were. It places doubt on the future and makes you hesitant to go forward.

    Some of us get so down that we feel we ought to be punished. We even go to great lengths to ensure our punishment. One of the hardest things in life is to forgive self.

    I used to manage hospices and I recall on several occasions where I had to convince a patient not to attempt to punish themselves. There were folks who were dying of cancer and upon understanding that they were terminal and were gonna die, they wanted to refuse pain medication in an attempt to punish themselves for past sins.

    Guilt is the reality that we are human. It proves we’re not perfect and gives us an opportunity to mature. Guilt provides another chance to make good on life and react to the learning curve. We should embrace our guilt and learn from it. Guilt should not be in control but should serve as a guide or teacher to it’s participants.

    Allow guilt to do it’s job and be thankful. If you are able to realize your wrongdoing you are already much better off.

  • The big Break up

    The Stylistics made the song “Break up to make up” famous! Saying, “First you love me, then you hate me, that’s a game for fools.” Probably the worst thing about breaking up is that in the beginning it leaves you so empty. There is a brand new void that needs to be filled. Some embrace the void as pain that quickly leads to depression. Others look to fill the void immediately often dragging someone new into the picture which isn’t fair to the newcomer.

    What makes relationships so hard is that we all have somewhat of a hidden complex about ourselves. Things like personal quirks that we feel we can’t be honest about. We have feelings we can’t share for fear of being judged. We don’t want anyone to know we’re insecure. Then there are people that are so afraid of being hurt again that they can’t be transparent in a new relationship. There are so many dynamics, but with most of them good communication and honesty fixes most of them.

    Assumptions are another great relationship killer. And mind you these things hurt over time. The first 40 assumptions aren’t enough to kill a relationship. It’s the next 200 of them that does it. Then you start factoring in all the wasted time. All your fears about breaking up come to light and that space you don’t enjoy — the emptiness is surrounding you again.

    Well, if you have ended a relationship recently let’s try to pick up the pieces. First, if you think it’s all your fault — it is! Not ALL because it takes 2 people for a relationship. You definitely need to own a percentage of the break up. But who’s fault it is doesn’t matter now because it’s over … right???

    What matters now is that we learn from what happened and own our dysfunction. Some people enter a relationship still broken from a previous one. You can not give yourself wholly to a person when you are broken. You must heal first. Some people just don’t like to be alone. They jump around from person to person when they really need to get a dog — or some other pet and heal.

    There are also areas that need improvement. All improvements must be made for only one reason — because you want to make them for yourself. If you were informed in a previous relationship that you were selfish, you have to decide if you believe that to be true. Any changes you make has to be because you want it. If not, it will not be genuine.

    Slowing the dating process waaaaaay down is also a must as you must give things time to develop. When you meet a new person you are instantly in discovery mode. Give it time. Before you start making new commitments you must heal from the past and know what characteristics you like before you meet someone and don’t compromise them.

    If you are really looking for a long- term committed relationship, you need to seek spiritual guidance for this is the highest point of mankind’s intellect. Glorify God in every aspect of the relationship and if it ends, you will land on your feet! Now, make sure you take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally in order to recover from the break up. Give it time. You will get better!

  • Living With regret

    I must admit that I don’t normally watch the Oscars, but I am a fan of the industry and I absolutely love Chris Rock and Will Smith. I would like to believe that these two guys would be friends of mine if they were not famous and lived near me. We are in the same age bracket and have a lot of similar qualities.

    Now with that said, I was going to be disappointed in both men for their actions. I was also going to be embarrassed by the actions of both as an African-American male because of the stereo-types that will follow as a result of what happened. And then I wanted to write a blog and explain all the things that they did wrong. Then it dawned on me that context is everything and I was putting these two men in a category they do not belong.

    What I mean by context is that we are witnessing the results of previous interactions we don’t understand or have no full knowledge of. It’s disappointing that the interaction we saw was violent but there is much more to this situation that we may never know about. In addition, if this were just two average men (any race) and one had slapped another it would not have made the news and we wouldn’t be discussing it. Their fame made this newsworthy.

    We place people in categories, sometimes sub consciously, but in our minds we decide whether a person is good, bad, ugly, charismatic, funny or talented among other things. We develop beliefs about these people based on the categories and then expectations are set. Then we become disappointed when our heroes (in this case) do not match the consistency of our expectations. This is what is happening with all the commentary posted on social media.

    What should happen is we realize the truth about what we saw: the fact that these two humans were placed in a human scenario and both had an opportunity to do good, but failed. I truly believe if they had a do-over they could make a better decision. But above everything they proved that they are human and that they are flawed. If they were placed in the “flawed human” category from the beginning, then this interaction would not dominate the news cycle.

    Shout out to Tyler Perry, Denzel Washington and others who tried to bring healing to the situation. Believe it or not, sometimes things are allowed to happened for the purposes of seeing what others would do. God uses this tactic more often than you think. So I wondered how many people thought to pray when the incident happened? I wonder how many others were willing to do what they could to bring healing to this situation? Both Smith and Rock will have many private interactions following this incident. I wonder how many of those conversations would be with people who are trying to honor God in the moment?

    It’s sad when your own actions cause you to live with regret. Every time Will looks at his Oscar, the memory of the slap will come into focus. Every Oscar ceremony from this point on will remember the slap. How many business deals will not happen for these two because of this incident? Have they made peace with their God? Michelle Obama rightfully said that when they go low we go high. Going high requires us to process things in the highest part of our brains — and that’s our spiritual side. I pray the learning curve happens for all who are involved.

  • Is it really yours?

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    You know the old saying that if you let something go and if it comes back to you, then it truly belongs to you? I just wonder how practical the application of this saying would be today. I mean, I think that some of us may have taken for granted the people in our lives. Sometimes it’s easy to forget the importance of people under our jursidiction and we really need a wake up call.

    So imagine if you are the boss over a company or you are managing several employees, do you think that if they were released and given another job making the same money, they would stay with you? In the business world we believe sometimes that people get trapped and they don’t have choices. Are we taking advantage of them and treating them horribly because we can? As a leader are you making the environment your employees work in beneficial to them so that they can do the best job possible? Or have you made the place so in your favor that your colleagues hate the company and you? It should not take an episode of “Undercover Bosses” to make you do the right thing. The highest boss is watching and you will have to answer to him.
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    Let’s take this a step further and look at the family because I wonder how many children would stay with their same parents. For those of you with children, do you believe that your offspring would gladly stay with you if they had another opportunity. I’m not talking about riches or a bigger house, I’m speaking pound for pound, comparing apples to apples, given a choice would your children stay with you? That’s a hard question for some and not meant to ruin anyone’s week, but we need to take a step back sometimes and see if what we think we are accomplishing is good and for the betterment of the people God has placed us over.

    Now for the finale, when you look at your marriage do you believe your spouse would come back to you if he or she had the option to leave with no strings attached? Think before you answer. Do you make your spouse feel that he or she is the perfect match for you? Do they feel God’s full blessing being with you or would they rather be single? Is this even something you can talk about? Has chasing after success in life or bitterness or past failures turned you into an asshole? Don’t look at me, I didn’t say it your spouse may have! I just want you to take an honest look at your situation.
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    Life is too short to spend the rest of it with someone who repels you. So before they sneak and talk to an attorney about their options, wouldn’t it be more cost effective for you to have that “come to Jesus talk” with them and say you’re sorry and you want to be better? If you really and truly love the person you are with, you owe it too yourself and your spouse a true confession and a heartfelt apology. Then you would spend your life prioritizing things in order of importance and you would begin with your relationship.

    Don’t listen to the voice in your head that says this task is too much. It is just what your relationship needs. Be the leader you claim you are and lead in this effort to make your life better.

  • It’s time for a Crusade for Christ

    It’s time for a Crusade for Christ

    resurrection-website-imageFor more than 2000 years the gospel of Jesus Christ has been preached to this dying world.

    Unfortunately we have preached more of the facts of the gospel, than the application of that gospel. I mean, Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection is very important to know but if it is given without context, where is the power?

    We are saved by grace through faith and the bible calls this a gift that no man can take credit. (Eph. 2:8). Moreover, the fact that it is Jesus’ blood that reconciles me to the father and his life that actually saves me (Rom. 5:10) is just the beginning. How this all works together is the crux of the matter and ultimately redefines who I am and my purpose.

    To make his gospel come alive, you must believe that it was an act of love on your behalf. Does it matter that Jesus died for you? Does it matter enough for you to die (crucify the old me) for him?

    Further, if I say I know and believe in Jesus, does the life I live say the same thing? This is why we need a crusade. We need to be reminded of the facts of his gospel. We need a call back to the original commission to share the gospel with the rest of the world. It’s time to reveal the hope of our calling and surrender God’s truth without apology.

    If you are anywhere near San Antonio, TX over the next 6 days, stop by the Hyatt Regency Hotel downtown and experience God’s love toward us. Come and hear the story of Jesus presented in a bold and loving way. Come and hear that in the midst of our struggle is when Christ died for us! Come and sing praise to his name because he made it easy for souls in danger. All these souls have to do is look above because Jesus completely saves!

  • Is your church a placebo?

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    So we know that the church is the body of Christ and Christ’s kingdom here on earth.

    He reigns supreme in this gathering of believers. Some might call it cultish due to the unfeigned faith each member has for the king.

    Throughout the New Testament one can find many examples of how the body of Christ functions and relates to head of the body. And from here its even easier to see how the relationship with the head effects the horizontal relationships throughout the membership.

    So, things like service, forgiveness, unconditional love, faithfulness, compassion, truth and longsuffering should abound in such places. There is a definite togetherness and sense of having all things in common among the believers. Judgement has no place here, only encouragement to be the best you can be and assistance when you stumble.

    A placebo is a measure designed merely to calm, please or pacify another. It is more for a psychological benefit than for any spiritual effect. A placebo church only exists as a method to control. It is only a form of godliness, but it denies the power there of.

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    The largest problem with this type of church is there is no spiritual growth, there is no support, there is no fellowship and there is no forgiveness. When trouble comes you are on your own. When Satan attacks you are judged instead of helped.

    You stay in this system because it looks right, but it is far from righteousness. So I ask you this day: Is your church a placebo and more importantly why are you still there?

  • Accepted

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    This past week saw the taking down of the confederate flag in South Carolina and it was not without its controversies. Highlighted in that week was congressional sparring about the event and a much choosing of sides by political pundits.

    There was also a huge buzz on social media where some felt South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley made a decision that would make or break her political career. There was talk about this event thrusting her into the national political scene and perhaps even a vice president bid. Others felt that she had ruined her career and she even received cowardly death threats.

    I was not that vested into whether the flag stayed up or came down and I did not even watch it. What turned me off was this: Our country has an acceptance problem. Many of our troubles and struggles come from our inability to accept one another.

    So, in our initial relationship with our heavenly Father, we were separated from the commonwealth of God by our sins. It is impossible for us to be accepted by God on our own. Despite many failed attempts over thousands of years, we only proved that we are sinners and lost forever in darkness.

    Then, Jesus comes and dies for the sins of the world so that we have the opportunity to be “accepted in the Beloved.” Now, empowered by the Holy Spirit, we who believe live to bring this joyous occasion to others. Acceptance not only says that you belong, but it also says that you belong just the way you are. Acceptance is the bridge that allows the sinner in darkness to fellowship with the light. Without acceptance a connection cannot be made. And it’s in that fellowship that the magic happens. The apostle John wrote that if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another and the blood of Jesus Christ his son cleanses us from all sin — that’s a pretty powerful fellowship! But if I am not accepting, it’s all for naught!

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    Have you ever felt like you did not belong? Have you ever been in a situation where others have made you to feel that way? It’s a horrible feeling, but do you know we do that whenever we decide that another person does not matter. I don’t have to conform to the way you think to accept you. You don’t have to look like me, live like me or eat the same things I do for me to accept you. I accept you because I have been accepted. And the thought of me cheapening my acceptance or taking it for granted because I don’t accept you, is not an option for me. My acceptance of you is my judgment of you and as for me and my house, we choose to accept.