ClydeStyle

Category: Life

  • Living with a disability

    Although it is not talked about much, July is Disability Pride Month, and specifically, July 26th celebrates the signing of the American Disabilities Act (ADA).

    In America, we don’t do a good enough job taking care of this population. Similarly, we don’t take care of seniors either. Like everything else, money and status matter so that despite how rich of a cou try this is, we fail to take care of our most vulnerable.

    It is not even on the radar for most people. If you don’t have a disability or you’re not helping to take care of a person with disabilities, their care would not be on your mind.

    Five years ago, I was stricken with a bacterial infection that eventually made me a bilateral below-knee amputee and killed my kidneys. I am also on dialysis. Medicaid has been a blessing to me as I am taking 17 pills per day, and the prescription bill alone would be hard to afford.

    As long as I stay in the network, my health expenses are covered. But let’s talk about the coverage. I wear prosthetics and  ,  like everything else, if you have money, you will be up and walking close to normal. If you are poor, it’s an entirely different story.

    I have the lowest form of prosthetics available outside of a pirate’s peg leg. It takes me nearly 500 percent more energy to take a step than a healthy person. More advanced prosthetics could get me closer to 50 percent if I had the money.

    Because of this, many people, in my case, don’t even attempt to walk because of this. Imagine not having legs and trying to get around and do things. Even with assistance, it is difficult.

    Technology should make life easier for everybody. We decide to always bring cost into it. So what then is the benefit of being in the richest country?

    Shout out to all the caregivers who donate time and energy to help the disabled. We will pray together for things to get better.

  • The scam of insurance

    Let’s talk insurance. We live in a time where insurance companies are denying hurricane victims, California fire victims, and auto insurance is overwhelmingly high, especially in no-fault states, and life insurance is too hard to secure.

    Families are suffering as promised benefits are denied while Congress continues to get richer from insurance lobbying. You can not expect to see the current Republican Congress do anything about this. Since 1992, Republicans have benefitted the most from insurance lobbyists receiving millions of dollars for their silence on the issues.

    Democrats have had opportunities to deal with this problem, but even when they controlled both houses of Congress, nothing got done on this front.

    The insurance industries philosophy is to find a way not to pay so the stock holders can reap their dividends. Greed has taken over morality, and the middle class and poor are suffering the most.

    Insurance was actually started as an act of benevolence in Rome and Greece in 600 AD. You can even trace the concept of insurance as far back as 4000 — 3000 bce.

    In the US, insurance had its origin in the late 17th century. Like everything else, it was on the level, and people paid faithfully their premiums and could expect to receive payment on their claims filed during that time. The complete reniging of insurance payments for qualified clients wasn’t widespread until the Reconstruction era, where former slaves were denied claims mostly because of the color of their skin.

    In his autobiography, Malcolm X tells the story of what ultimately drove his mother insane started with trying to collect on a life insurance policy for her husband. In the movie Malcolm X, his father was murdered by the KKK as they bashed his head in with a hammer and stretched his bloody body across train tracks to be destroyed. This left Malcolm, his siblings, and his mother devastated and destitute. She eventually lost her children because she could no longer take care of them because the insurance company denied her claim, stating that they believed his death to be a suicide.

    I would love to tell you that this was the only incident where this happened, but that would not be true. You see, poor Blacks during this could not afford to take the matter to court and secure a lawyer, so the insurance companies knew this and could take advantage.

    Today, billions of dollars flow through insurance companies, and they have found a way not to honor their policies. Over the years, the list of things that can deny your claims has grown tremendously, as have the payouts to Congress for their silence. In just 2024, insurance companies spent more than 117 million to Congress. In previous years the number has been higher than 150 million. They have also spent around 130 million in campaign contributions for the candidates that will ensure no legislation is passed to stop them.

    So, in the meantime, constituents suffer from natural disasters, health challenges, death, and dismemberment and other unpaid claims and the insurance machine rolls on! God bless America.

  • Make America great? HDI is the right place to start

    For centuries, America has boasted about the great lifestyle its people share and how democracy is the best form of government.

    We brag about capitalism and all the opportunities that are available for those who work hard. The advertising we show to the world does not tell the true American story.

    We say nothing of crime, racism, sexism, xenophobia, and the ever-present wealth gap. We don’t discuss our troubled history that still plagues us today. Our poverty, poor education, and limited affordability for healthcare have the majority of America struggling. One percent of America has more money and resources than 99 percent of America.

    America always had a problem with the “haves” and “have nots,” and the “haves” like it this way. Consistently, rich politicians appear on news shows expressing what’s important to most Americans or pretending to know what Americans want. What we really want is easy.

    The Human Development Index (HDI), which was created in 1990 by a committee in the United Nation’s, was created to statistically measure and rate a country’s excellence in three main areas: life expectancy, education and per capita income.

    You would think that a country so rich in wealth and opportunity would lead the free world in this index. You would think that we would want to boast about the advantages available for our citizens and how well we all flourish. It should be expected that America rate in the top 5 of these great countries.

    Well, here are the top 15 countries: Switzerland (1), Norway (2), Iceland (3), Hong Kong (4), Denmark, and Sweden (5), Ireland, and Germany (7), Singapore (9), Netherlands, and Australia (10), Liechtenstein, Belgium, and Finland (12), and the United Kingdom (15).

    These United States are tied for 20 with Luxembourg, which means that there are roughly 19 countries that have better opportunities in wealth, health, and lifestyle than we do.

    We need to let politicians know that the type of America we want is one that stays in the top 10 on this index. We want opportunities for everyone who works hard. There is no reason that education and healthcare can’t be free, and in this country, we should have already wiped out homelessness.

    Crime is lowered by opportunities to learn and earn. Imagine that there are countries that never have mass shootings. Greed is killing us, my friend. The rich only care about getting richer, and democracy is not working for us. It is almost impossible to get the masses to vote a certain way, and both political parties have been detrimental to the majority of America.

    We need a better way, and it starts with making the top 5 of the HDI.

  • Does America still believe in morality?

    Morality is principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior. A hundred years ago, our country based its morality on what was written in the bible. Our country claimed a belief in Jesus Christ and a belief in the bible.

    There were other religions here. Hinduism, Buddhists, Muslims, and atheists were welcome in our country and shared similar views as Christianity.

    As time moved forward, morality was hijacked by social norms. According to google, social norms are the perceived, informal, and mostly unwritten rules that define what behaviors are considered acceptable and appropriate within a given group or community, essentially acting as unspoken guidelines for how people should behave in a particular social context; they are based on shared beliefs and expectations about what is considered “normal” behavior within that group. 

    The problem with social norms is trying to define what is “normal.” We do not all share the same views on what is normal. Over time, normal became human nature, and human nature depends on a lot of things.

    For some people, it is human nature to take something that is not yours if you want it bad enough and nobody is looking. For others, it is human nature for a man to refrain from crying at a funeral. Still, others believe that it is human nature for men to exercise power over other men and women. They may use the power that comes from money or physical power, resulting in sex.

    Our biases have crept into our human nature, our social norms, and our biblical interpretations. Our constitution was written the same way, which is why it gave no rights to women nor minorities.

    So, where is our morality today? It rests and abides with the rich and powerful. We see this play out in politics every day. Corporations like to believe they dictate social norms. They run most of the advertisements that tell us what products to use, what to eat, what medicines to take, where to vacation, what cars to buy, who is acceptable, and who is not.

    We are riddled with double standards. We have “laws” in this country, but if you have the right law firm representing you, you can bypass the penalty.

    Is it moral for the elderly to suffer in a country as rich as ours? Is it moral for babies to be born in poverty and without healthcare in this country as rich as we are? Our country tends to help many more foreign people than they do citizens. Ukraine and Israel greatly benefited from the benevolence of the US, while there are people struggling in the rural and urban areas of a plethora of things.

    It is hard to believe that America still believes in morality.

  • Grieving doesn’t have to ruin Christmas

    Every year, without fail, some family is dealing with the loss of a loved one, and it is their first holiday season without the deceased.

    It hurts. There is a serious sense of loss, confusion, anxiety, and sadness. The world has moved on where these families are stuck in time… grieving.

    The following are some real solutions to how to handle this difficult time. Tradition is very powerful, and in our subconscious, we want to make this time of the year as normal as possible. But we don’t have to. The acknowledgment that your family is experiencing one of life’s difficulties is therapeutic. In times like these, we should listen to our bodies. The body will let you know what it can handle.

    1) Cancel Christmas! Treat Santa like you do when you don’t want to participate in trick or treat festivities. You just simply turn your porch light off! Don’t even put up a tree. Christmas will be over before you know it. This gives you the time to reflect and put some things in perspective.

    2) Embrace the alone time and quietness. You have full permission to cry and be alone — there is nothing wrong with that. Especially if you use the time wisely. You always need time to plan and think about your path forward. There may need to be changes made. This is the time to do it! It’s like you’re hibernating until the new year!

    3) Huddle up! This is where you gather together in one place the remaining people who serve a major purpose in your life and you spend the holiday in memory and in celebration of who you lost. This is the private time where each person let’s the other know how important they are, and you can Christmas as a time to express it!

    4) Get out! It’s time to take that special trip you have been wanting to take. Traveling can be very therapeutic, especially if you go to a place that does not celebrate the holidays as we do. This will allow you to retool, relax, and grieve peacefully.

    5) Create and memorial or ritual. This is something you create to honor your loved one. You might plant a tree, create a new ritual, and spend time with specific people. The point is two things: to establish a memorial and bond with close friends.

    Whatever you choose to do, listen to your body. Make sure you eat, get rest, and don’t be afraid to be sad.

  • A thing that can’t happen

    I’m not sure if this will be a new series or not, but there are certain things that just can’t happen. It needs to happen, but by the way we are as a country, it would cause an even greater divide if it did.

    I’m specifically talking about a scientific discovery of longevity. Imagine the level of greed and covetousness that would ensue if we discovered a way to extend life by hundreds of years. I’m talking about a new life expectancy of 250 years.

    I would imagine that our biased country would want to decide who is worthy of this. It would not be something that everyone could experience. I’m not even sure what the price tag would be, but definitely, anyone lower than wealthy would not have access.

    There would be billionaires trying to corner the market on this gift. As the African proverb states: “When the elephants rumble, the grass suffers.” We are the grass.

    Imagine some of the world’s dictators living longer: Kim Jong Un, Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump,Joe Biden, and Xi Jinping all live another 160 plus years. Would the world be a bitter place if that happened?

    Longevity would give us more time to be greedy and selfish. If it were available to everyone, then it would give the poor and downtrodden another 200-plus years of poverty, stress, sickness, and depression. Giving the world more time would not at all help the poor — it would extend their already horrible sentence.

    It would do us no good to imagine the world as a better place because more time would increase the intensity of who we are today — and it’s not a pretty sight!

  • Determination is our strength; guess where it comes from?

    Determination is the firmness of purpose. Resoluteness. Whenever we see success, determination showed up first. To live life knowing where you’re supposed to go is a beautiful thing. It allows you to step with assurity and act expeditiously.

    Obviously, this state is not so easily attained. Many get paralyzed in their desires and crumble at the stress. When there is no “handout” in sight, can you get the job done alone? Ignorance, prejudice, stupidity, pressure, and focus are always against us. It’s a battle whether you have succeeded or failed we all will have these struggles.

    Then, our upbringing at times is a hindrance to our future because either someone loved us too much or not enough. Perverted things happened that affected our lives forever or we had a loved one missing which left an empty space in our hearts. We were bullied, discouraged, cheated, lied to, and hurt.

    Finally, we lacked the proper examples, we never saw someone else do what we desired to do and we lost our sense of well-being. It was as if there was a conspiracy set against us. But deep down in our souls is a glimmer of hope.

    Now hope is commonly used to mean a wish: its strength is the strength of the person’s desire. This would be fine if there had been no challenges or disappointments in your life. But in the Bible hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength is in His faithfulness. This means that you have a blessed assurance of trusting in God to bless your efforts according to his will.

    Watch how this works: This would mean that you would never trust a man, you would never even blame a man for his folly. Everything that would happen to you would be viewed as part of a grand scheme by God that ends in your benefit. Completely trusting God and living a life to please him is the greatest thing for a man. The Bible teaches us to seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness. It then promises that everything else we need would be given to us.

    When you read about God’s people in scripture try counting all the rich people. Adam was rich — he was the only man on earth. Noah would have experienced this as well being the head of his household. Abraham and Isaac were rich. We literally saw Jacob obtain his wealth. Job and countless others lived extremely well and I believe they were blessed in this way because God saw their heart and knew that wealth would not ruin them.

    The point here is that determination begats success but believing in God begats determination. We come into this world being memorized by what we see. I want you to ignore what you see and live life knowing.

  • Vengeance doesn’t belong to us

    Humans are capable of great fits of rage. When anger is kindled there is a loss of level thinking, blood runs high and irrational behavior follows. Some of the dirtiest deeds in the world have come from human anger.

    Biblically we were told that vengeance did not belong to us. It was a property of the Almighty! The creator of the universe promised that he would repay. I wonder is that because he knew that we were not equipped to deal with anger?

    When a person gets anger the worst of that person can be seen. They feel the need to be vindictive by any means necessary. People who are more vengeful tend to be those who are motivated by power, by authority and by the desire for status. They basically don’t want to lose face. A person described as vindictive is usually someone who holds a grudge and who always tries to get back at people who they think have wronged them in some way.

    Vindictive people retaliate against others for any insult or perceived slight. Vindictive people do not let things go but rather must seek revenge to satisfy a burning sensation within to play God.

    Psychologically speaking, revenge is more of an emotional state that is triggered when one feels they have been attacked or wronged by another party. It runs on impulse and if not controlled it will destroy whole families and friends.

    The best way to handle your anger and prevent yourself from possible legal trouble is to examine the potential stressors in your life and decide if they are absolutely necessary. Look at the things that matter to you the most and see which areas you are most vulnerable. Some people are very sensitive about their personal life. If you are one of those people then you probably should not have pictures of your family displayed at work and double check your social media privacy settings to make sure you are in complete control over your content.

    Moreover, it would be wise to review your friendships and decide how much access to you they can have. Make sure that you separate your very close friends from mire acquaintances and have close friends who you can talk to when life gets stressful.

    Above all, work on your de-escalation skills and make sure you drink plenty of water and definitely get enough sleep. Regular exercise needs to be apart of your daily routine. Try your best to live peaceably with everyone.

  • No rest for the guilty

    Guilt is the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime. The feelings surrounding this fact are what bothers us the most. It’s not just the uneasy feeling but there is a definite sense of darkness that seems to follow you when you’re guilty.

    It’s always been hard to accept when we are wrong. No one enjoys it. It proves that we missed something or that we are not as smart as we thought we were. It places doubt on the future and makes you hesitant to go forward.

    Some of us get so down that we feel we ought to be punished. We even go to great lengths to ensure our punishment. One of the hardest things in life is to forgive self.

    I used to manage hospices and I recall on several occasions where I had to convince a patient not to attempt to punish themselves. There were folks who were dying of cancer and upon understanding that they were terminal and were gonna die, they wanted to refuse pain medication in an attempt to punish themselves for past sins.

    Guilt is the reality that we are human. It proves we’re not perfect and gives us an opportunity to mature. Guilt provides another chance to make good on life and react to the learning curve. We should embrace our guilt and learn from it. Guilt should not be in control but should serve as a guide or teacher to it’s participants.

    Allow guilt to do it’s job and be thankful. If you are able to realize your wrongdoing you are already much better off.

  • Death: Life’s greatest interruption

    There are many interruptions in life. Some good and some bad but still there are interruptions. We struggle to deal with the bad interruptions and subconsciously we know that there is a fix. We know that in most cases its just a matter of time before we figure out how to deal with it.

    Death seems to be a horse of a different color. Death is multiple problems at once and it’s so final! We don’t prepare for death well although we know it’s a part of life. We don’t like to plan it, talk about it, financially prepare for it or share a plan with our loved ones. We “tap out” so fast on the topic and it’s one of those conversations that we’ll have only when forced to.

    But death doesn’t ha e to be such a burden. There is a way to embrace death that would make it pleasant for everyone involved– included the one who dies.

    Physically, if you lead your life without regret and keep your body physically strong, you should have a long and healthy physical like. Good decisions consistently make for a great mental disposition and living a life full of expressions where you aren’t afraid to cry, scream, yell or love when it’s appropriate will make for great emotional stability.

    Spiritually speaking, understanding where you will spend eternity makes death more of a partner or friend than an interruption. The reason is because it will carry you to a better place.

    Whatever your lot, it would be a good practice to ready yourself and your family for the day that is inevitable — your death!