ClydeStyle

Category: The Family

  • God did not give you the spirit of fear

    photoIn 2 Timothy 1:7 the bible says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of
    a sound mind.” I really believe this, but clearly in our society people are afraid. The fear clouds our judgement and makes it difficult for us to make sound decisions. It was never God’s will for us to live in fear. There are things he has done for us mentally, spiritually and physically so that we would not fear. It is my goal and prayer that this little blog post will help us all see fear as a choice, and choose to trust God instead.

    There is a lot to be learned from an indepth study of the 23rd Psalm. I have heard this psalm preached a number of different ways and they have all been correct and inspiring, but I have not heard one yet on fear. The 23rd psalm is all about eliminating fear from the mind of the child of God. It was written for us to remember the state the Lord, our shepherd, has left us in.

    If we believe that the Lord is really our shepherd and we won’t be lacking in anything as the first verse says, then it’s easy to see that the first four things God does, takes away all of our reasons to fear.

    The text says “he makes”, “he leads”, “he restores” and “he leads” again. All that hard work goes to waste if we receive it and still fear. The “still waters” and the “green pastures” speak to our physical needs. The “paths of righteousness” speaks to our spiritual being and I’m sure you need no help with what “restoration” speaks too.

    Then the text declares that evil would not be feared because God is with us. And not only is he with us, but his “rod” (discipline) and “staff” (authority) comfort us. If God is for us, who can be against us???

    Then this whole idea of setting a table before us is so deep that I will share it as a subject of next weeks blog. The anointing was to prepare us for service and the cup running over is pure blessings. So the way I see it is like this: The Lord as our shepherd is out in front of us. The rod and the staff are to our right and left sides for comfort and protection. The only area left to cover is our backs and you know how God gets our backs don’t you??? God covers our backs with two things which will always be there and he promised to keep us in his family forever. Read it for yourself and sleep well at night!

    “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever” (Psalms 23:6).

  • I wish I could gift wrap common sense this year

    tumblr_m6z628lfAf1r566gro1_500Years ago I would have said that it seems around this time of the year that people loose their minds when it comes to shopping. Now I have to say that all year round there are constant reminders that all sense is not common.

    This year in particular it is really difficult to see anyone down on their luck when you go to the malls. People are shopping, but the shopping experience is not jolly. There are lots of attitudes, ignorance, selfishness and foolishness to go around — and that just the store employees. In addition, customers are ungrateful, unruly, liars and theives — and I saw all of this in just two hours at the mall.

    I couldn’t help but wonder wht is this all for? Is it all to make someone in a day feel like we should have made them feel all year? Is it our way of trying to buy off someone’s forgiveness instead of just apologizing? Or are we trying to make up for lost time or for not being there or for someone missing?

    Wouldn’t it be nice if we spent the entire year helping other people and then used this time of the year thanking folks for it? Imagine if we all had the mission of making a difference in our communities and that the more we made a difference, the less taxes we had to pay. Wouldn’t it be cool if thinking was a requirement and you were given tickets for not thinking in public? I guess the more we live the lesson is the same, all sense ain’t common! I just wish I could have Santa bring this gift to a few folks so that they can have a better New Year!

  • What being a dad means to me

    I’m in love with being a dad,

    I give my kids what I wished I had.

    They live their little lives and have no clue

    of the sacrifices made and the things I do.

    I watch them grow up and I’m surprised at what I see,

    a son and two daughters who remind me of me.

    I get to provide for them, I’d die for them; I love to make a fuss,

    I teach them to be responsible and try not to cuss.

    With eyes so big and full of joy,

    he’s full of potential, I’m talking about my boy!

    Two heads full of hair and smiles that light up the night,

    My daughters are gorgeous and they’re being raised right.

    To be their protector and teacher is an honor for me

    I learn more from teaching them who they really ought to be.

    I thank God each day for the three I got,

    You put your hands on my babies you will probably get shot!

    I love you son, daughter and baby girl too,

    I hope you appreciate your dad as much as he appreciates you!

  • Another school year in the books!

    Well, it’s June and that means most kids (and some are already out) are wrapping up another school year. It seems like they just started school and now it’s over. I used to get caught off guard every time school ended for the summer. By off guard I mean every year I would say that I wanted my kids to be active and have a fun, educational summer, but I had no idea of what they would do.

    I was so used to seeing kids go wild over the summer! Teachers even prepare to received these little wild ones in the fall. Someone had to put a stop to this!

    I decided that it was time for my kids to make good use of the summer and as much as I wanted them to be active and have fun, I also wanted them to not stop learning. I wanted them to have fun learning and stimulate their minds as well as their physical bodies. Here is a list of five things that I have used in the past to accomplish this goal.

    Summer bucket list:

    1) Visit the library weekly — the library is a fun and inexpensive way to stimulate the mind of your child. This is great for the whole family. The library has a full list of activities to enjoy.

    2) Take a field trip with the kids once a month and — dare I say — have them do a report on what they learned. I had to pay my kids for this, but they did learn. We went to museums, festivals and even a concert. These become great conversation pieces at the dinner table.

    3) Have your children write a reaction paper to the movies they watch over the summer. They can discuss the movies with you and then put their thoughts down on paper.

    4) Teach your children about the wonderful fruits and vegetables that come in season over the summer.

    5) Cook with your children so they learn how to be self sufficient and they get hands on learning.

    These are my top 5. You can also make sure they are reading books, they have chores to do regularly and you limited their television viewing. Kids tend to watch more TV in the summer than any other time of the year. More than anything else, make it a summer that they can remember. Don’t forget that you are building life long memories.

  • Smelling the roses

    The latest census says that those who are 85 and older are now the fastest growing population. We could learn much from these aged pill takers.

    I recently had the pleasure of talking with a few of them and in no particular order, these are the top 10 things I learned:

    1) Wake up with the sun. Too many young folks sleep the day away and are unproductive. Wake up with a purpose and enjoy the sunrise.

    2) Read twice as much as you watch TV.

    3) Deny yourself and save money.

    4) Eat healthy so that you can enjoy your golden years.

    5) Get plenty of sleep.

    6) Drink plenty of water.

    7) Get plenty of exercise.

    8) Control your use of technology; don’t let technology control you.

    9) Enjoy family.

    10) Practice loving everybody.

    I wonder what it would be like if we spent 2012 with these 10 suggestions?

    They all seem so obvious, but why don’t we do them? Who wants to wait for a degenerative disease to happen before we begin to take care of ourselves.

    This age group is far more conservative, morally intellectual, far more cultural and more responsible than the generations after them.

    Let’s accept the lessons and the responsibility that follows. If not, we might not have any roses to smell.

  • Make a habit of it!

    You know, I was recently thinking about the habits I have. Like everyone I have some good habits and bad habits and it made me wonder why we never think to capitalize on this concept?

    Habits are behaviors that are regularly repeated and can even occur subconsciously. Habitual behavior often goes unnoticed, because a person does not need to engage in self-analysis when doing a routine task. Habituation is one of the simplest forms of learning, in which an organism, after a period of exposure to a stimulus, stops responding to that stimulus in varied manners – technically speaking.

    Habits are sometimes compulsory. The process by which new behaviors become automatic is habit formation. Old habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to form because the behavioral patterns we repeat are imprinted in our neural pathways, but it can be done.

    The general population only seems to be interested in the bad habits. If someone had a habit of helping seniors with their groceries or helping them with chores, no one would care. If a guy had a habit of womanizing, we could draw a crowd pretty quick.

    What if we were able to effectively trick our bodies into forming habits that were good for us? I mean instead of just falling into a bad habit, what if we were calculated with forming a good habit? Our bodies seem to respond well to repetition and at least in theory it would work. What if we formed a habit of eating five servings of vegetables and fruits per day? What if we made it a habit of giving our kids a daily dose of encouragement? What if we made it a point to make someone’s life a little easier every day? Whether it’s at home or at work, there are people in our lives who would be affected in a positive way if we thought to give them some unsolicited help.

    It is the little things in life that make it worth living. It’s the things that money can’t buy. I need to make a habit of exercising daily. I need to make a habit of building the reputation of a helper. I need to make a habit of visiting my parents weekly. I need to make a habit of eating more salad.

    What about you?

    http://www.vcita.com/clyde.speaks

  • The family constellation

    The family is the most important institution in the world. It is the cornerstone of our society and an incubator for the future generations.

    It is important to take care of this institution. Our future depends on it.

    I believe that we need to apply some basic bible principles of love, collective work and responsibility and faith.

    I compare this to a well-oiled basketball team. All the great teams have the same thing in common. Each player cares about the other. The work is shared and everyone wants to do their part. The group also believes in each other and the cause that they are going for — whether it be the championship or striving for the good life.

    Each member of the team or family plays an important part. The guards are the first line of defense on one side and the initiators of the offense on the other side. The forwards attack and defend the baseline of the goal and the center brings balance.

    In a family of five, one scenario could be a strong wife (point guard); oldest child (shooting guard); the other two kids playing the forward positions and the dad is the center.

    Problems occur when some members don’t feel like they are a part of the team or choose not to hold up their end of the bargain. Family commitment is important and this is a good time to recommit to the health and welfare of the family.

    Parents need to believe it! Children need to see it! And the world needs to follow the example!

    Long live the family!

  • Truth or consequences?

    Jesus, on one occasion, said to let your yea be yea and your nay be nay.

    He wanted us to honor our words. If you say you are going to do something, make sure you do it. Keep your promises. Don’t say things that you do not mean. All of these things speak to the character of the one saying them.

    Our society has a hard time keeping its word. From government and politicians to the pulpits and preachers and everyone in between, we struggle to keep our word.

    It has been so bad that once we are found not keeping our word, the response is so callous and matter-of-factly stated, “oh well.” ” It happens.” “Get over it!”

    Wives are not keeping promises to manage the home; husbands and fathers are not taking care of their families; whole school systems have failed to keep their promises to educate; and the governments deceive.

    What judgment are we to face because of this? One of the seven things God hates is a lying tongue. We need not to make this too complicated. Imagine a world where everyone kept their word? Imagine a world where honesty is the most important thing and not profit?

    Don’t get caught living in lies! For we must realize that we are not merely lying to men, but to God and his judgment is coming.

    Let’s make 2012 a better year by presenting ourselves open and honest before God and mankind.

  • Your love of tennis means nothing

    It seems in these trying times we live in that it is getting more difficult to navigate our relationships. One would think that we all needed therapy as sometimes it seems that we can’t do anything right.

    Either we are not working together or we’re going in two different directions. Or we are being to critical or not critical enough. We are too self-fish, too demanding, too righteous, too lazy … well you get the picture. I want to share a concept with you that may shine some light on how we are supposed to get along and how we can gravitate toward the positive and benefit both parties — and we do this with tennis.

    Now I’m not asking you to go play or watch tennis. What I want to do is borrow a few concepts to make a point.Imagine your troubled relationship as a doubles team in tennis. To play doubles in tennis you have to know a little bit about the strengths and weaknesses of your partner. Not only do you have to know them, but you have to use their strengths and protect their weakness. Did you catch that? I said you must use their strengths and protect their weaknesses.

    Some tennis players are slow moving to their weak side. Others might have a strong right hand, but a horrible back hand. When you learn these weaknesses and strengths you are able to set up your partner in a way that they are going to look like a pro. So if my partner is not as strong going to her left, guess who will play on her left side? You got it. Now, if I don’t play on her left side once I figure out that this is a weakness for her, shame on me!

    If my partner has a strong right hand, then my job when I serve is to place the ball so that when it returns, it comes to her right side. Of course, it’s impossible to make this happen every single time, but you can manipulate that serve enough that it happens more than enough to win.

    Why would I want to do that you ask? Well if I view my partner as truly being my partner, I have her best interest in mind. If you are not sure of this, you need to have a heart-to-heart with your partner and see if she or he feels that you hold their best interest. What a wonderful opportunity life provides if the significant other feels that you don’t have their best interest. Take this challenge and honor your mate by letting him or her know that you admire their strengths and you promise to protect their weaknesses. Humility will make them say it back to you. Where as love means absolutely nothing in tennis, it means everything in true relationships.

    Tennis anyone?

  • The whole equals the sum of it’s parts?

    In some instances the whole does equal the sum of it’s parts. But there are other instances when the whole is either greater or less than the sum of it’s parts. Why does this matter, you ask? Well, to fully understand the scope of any relationship it’s important to know what each participant in the relationship believes about the whole.

    Aristotle is first credited with saying the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts. In theories of proximity the whole is equal to the sum. In relativity, Einstein is credited for saying the whole is less than the sum of it’s parts. His logic was that the sums are greater by themselves than they are with a whole. Think for instance about the Miami Heat. LeBron James makes less money being one of the stars as opposed to being “the” star. As an individual he is worth more than he is playing with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh.

    So when it comes to relationships, there are some people who believe that the whole is greater than the sum. There are others who believe that the whole and the parts are equal. And still others who think that the whole is far less than the sum of the parts. If you are in a fulfilling relationship then it makes sense for you to believe that the whole is bigger than the sum of the parts because you and your mate both contribute to the relationship and sacrifice to make it work — for the greater good (the whole).

    Someone in a not so good relationship may feel that the whole is not worth the parts. Many who have gotten divorced have already arrived at this conclusion. If you have a lazy partner, or one who does not handle his or her business affairs properly, it makes it difficult to keep focused on the big picture (the whole). If you are the one that handles everything, makes all the money, takes responsibility, manages all the problems and you view your partner as simply another mouth to feed, then your whole is definitely less than.

    If you have recovered from a bad relationship and are on the rebound, you are now looking for balance in your life and relationships. You now begin to search for a relationship that will be equal to the sum of it’s parts. This new relationship is where the parts are “equally yolked” and you see your partner as an equal partner working in concert with you. You two are like-minded in thought and action and you share the same values.

    We find ourselves in various types of relationships. Right or wrong should be determined by the views of both parties in the relationship. If you are struggling in a relationship, I encourage you to seek counseling. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED CAN BE FIXED, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO FIX IT. All fixes take time. And if you both have a desire to allow the whole to be greater than the sum of it’s parts, then commit to making it work and seek professional help now.