ClydeStyle

Tag: Love

  • Do you know God as your father in heaven?

    In the Old Testament, Israel never knew God the creator as their father in heaven. In fact, nobody did until Jesus came on the scene, and when teaching his disciples to pray, he was the first to call God our father in heaven (Luke 11:1-6).

    Knowing God as our father in heaven means that we understand him as a loving, caring, interpersonal God who is the head of a larger family.

    Through trust, understanding, and intimacy, we as his children have our needs and wants provided by a loving God.

    Our God loves us unconditionally, and seeing the undone condition we are in with the inability to save ourselves, he came near to make us whole. We were not given a set of rules and regulations or a system that was against us like Moses’ law. Instead, we were given grace and mercy, and reconciliation was afforded us.

    Now, the way that we know our father in heaven should imitate the relationship we have with our children. They will learn everything they need to know about God in their younger years by how their earthly father has sustained them.

    We just celebrated Father’s Day yesterday, and many dads were celebrated for being a dad. But the hope is that each man who has fathered a child has reassured that child the same unconditional love, care, and nurturing that comes from our father in heaven.

  • Are you a true believer in love?

    Neil Diamond wrote the song “I’m a believer” in 1966, and the Monkees performed it with Mickey Dolenz as the lead singer. It was a song about falling in love and the assurance of knowing that exact moment when the feeling was birthed.

    It is a great feeling to be in love. Out of all the things in the world that can be experienced, love has to be the best. When someone feels love, it’s like a superpower. You feel like you can do anything! It seems that dreams can become a reality, and all is right with the world.

    In like fashion, it seems that the world comes to an end when love is gone. The feeling of missing love is bitter. The sadness is covetous and touches every part of your life. You can’t eat or sleep, and nothing feels the same.

    This power of love has been misused and is still the deadliest costume to where in that someone can pretend to love you, not love you. Love has been misunderstood as infatuation, like, admiration, and lust.

    There are people who say they love you for what they can get out of you, and love is also used to control you.

    This blog is for those who are really in love. There are no holidays in August, but this is a good time to let your number one love know their position in the universe. Let’s make today, August 19, 2023, the inaugural Lover’s Day. On this day we celebrate love, with the one you love. This day is exclusive — meaning you don’t spend it out in public at a restaurant or movie.

    Lover’s Day is exclusive, and it is only spent mono e mono! It’s an interruption in your daily life to spend quality time alone. It’s a time of reflection, renewal, and rest. It’s a time to express love, enjoy being alive with your love, and enjoy a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual entanglement for 24 hours. There is no need for gifts because YOU are the gift!

    Spread the word!

  • Is the resurrection still relevant?

    Every year, Christians around the world will celebrate everything associated with Easter. Many will go to church, kill the fattest calf, and lay out an Easter dinner fit for a king – all in memory of the King of kings and Lord of lords.

    Although it is not a holy holiday (none of them are), the tradition of Easter has been blended with Spring traditions, and this is where the Association of Easter eggs comes from. It is said to have been started in Germany where the symbol of eggs carry the thought of new life which happens in the Spring.

    Biblically, the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ is the focal point. But the question today is how relevant is the resurrection?

    Does it matter that Christ died for the sins of the world? How is that shown to matter in your life? What of all the power that accompanied his resurrection which we have access to today — does that matter.

    What of the idea that eternal life is now available to all who believe and are obedient to his calling? To be called a Christian society, we do a horrible job of showing the power of the resurrection in our lives. There are just too many things we don’t care about! Some could care less about abortions. Others care less about school or mass shootings. Still, others never say anything about police brutality or the killing of unarmed back men.

    We don’t care about those with views different from ours. It’s a big “so what” that there are people falsely imprisoned. And of course, not many seem to be too concerned with homelessness, veterans’ rights, and those struggling with mental health issues.

    If the resurrection matters, then we need to use it to resurrect a few of the societal problems we face and solve them for those who suffer. Christ suffered on a cross so we wouldn’t have to. We need to return the favor to those less fortunate.

  • Way too many hats

    The problem with Christianity today is that the Christian understanding of religion is played out in hats. What I mean is we process Christian traits like wearing a hat. So there is a hate for love, a hat for forgiveness, a hat for service, a blessed hat, a joyful hat and even a praise hat and depending on our mood we regularly switch hats.

    Unfortunately there are other hats. Hats of hatred, racism, anger, gossiping, back biting and lustful. We switch these hats on and off as well. The problem lies in the fact that we never lose the evil hats in this concept. Because when the wind blows there is of telling which hat we will wear.

    Further, in a moments notice someone can do something negative to me and my hat willing change instantly. For example, I could be wearing my happy hat, and then someone could start a political argument with me and the anger hat is summoned. I then willfully chose to put on the anger hat. You see I had a chance to keep on my happy hat, but my flesh rose up against me and anger seemed like the best hat.

    So for me to be better, I have to get rid of the hat system. It needs to be replaced with something better because it gives me too many negative choice. What I recommend is a tattoo system — yes, tattoo system. With the tattoo system I can have the fruit of the Spirit tattooed on me for choices and I can leave the works of the flesh alone. I don’t even need them as options.

    So what would it be like if we could only use what was tattooed on me? It means that when the flesh told me to become angry (and that isn’t an option), I would choice from my option menu and pick love. When offered the gossip option, I would choose to serve. This way my only options would be godly and I would no longer see the other negative things available.

    My friends, this is a choice you can make. Stop falling for the hat trick and get you some tattoos in Jesus name!

  • Getting your God complex under control

    We all have this inner God complex. It’s where we get some of our best ideas, it’s where our compassion grows, it’s where forgiveness begins and it’s where our unconditional love comes from. With this complex, when things are going well, we achieve and flourish in various areas. We create, lead, influence, edify and develop ideas. When things are at their worst, we tend to lack forgiveness for ourselves.

    We being to accept blame, sometimes too much blame because in our complex we think we should have known, seen, anticipated, figured out or controlled people, places and things — and that’s impossible.

    The feeling is amplified when other people are injured by our actions. It happens. What should take place is that we should release all negativity, deal with the facts and be reflective about moving forward. Learn the lessons and forgive yourself. We need to begin to see the truth about these ill- feelings.

    God doesn’t want us punishing ourselves because something fell through the cracks or we proved that we are not perfect. I started out calling it a God complex because when something happens some of us will take full responsibility as if we were God and could control everything.

    Nobody is perfect. Most people who dare to lead want to do their best. It doesn’t always happen like that and you need to forgive yourself. Now! And move forward a better person!

  • Covet the best gifts this year

    Covet the best gifts this year

    While we are in the mist of shopping and making sure we  get that special gift for that special someone in our lives, it’s always good to reflect on the best gifts we can give.

    After all,  this is the season for giving.  And while everyone is in a festive mood – and probably more receptive to hear things during this time of the year, I’d like to weigh in on the best gifts of the year.

    Now, of course, there are experts in the retail business who can predict which toys will be top sellers and what line of clothing will make you the talk of the town. There are also specialists in the gadget department that can tell you about the best of the best in iPhones and Mp3 players, computers and Blu-ray brands and, of course, flat screen TVs.

    I am interested in other types of gifts. The gifts that I’m talking about are more precious than silver or gold. These are the gifts that change lives. Wait for it … wait for it …

    The first gift is love. There are many people living with anger, racism and hatred. These people hurt others because they have been hurt. And you know how misery loves company. If we would give these people unconditional love – for as long as it took – it would change their lives for the better. Only special people can do this. This gift requires you to love the un-loveable and allow your love to cover a multitude of sin. This requires you to love like Jesus.

    Can you do that?

    The second gift is that of forgiveness. How many people live guilty, waiting to hear those three words – I forgive you? How many of us are holding someone at bay, not forgiving them and making them feel really bad because they did something wrong?  And then we turn around and attempt to celebrate a holiday like Christmas. I wonder if I looked up the word hypocrite whose pick would I see by that word. Giving the gift of forgiveness requires us to forgive like Jesus.

    Can you do that?

    And finally, the last gift is the gift of your time. It’s always easier to write a check and let someone else to the work. The gift of your time requires you to actually stop living for yourself and give that time and energy to someone that needs it. People like kids that are growing up without a dad; single mothers who are having a hard time raising their kids alone; or a widow or widower. There are many people who are lonely, afraid to be alone and depressed. Image if the last person you knew or read about who committed suicide. Do you think they needed someone they could trust to talk too? Giving the gift of time requires us to give our time like Jesus.

    Can you do that?

    I’m thinking we would be a stronger nation if we coveted these three gifts. Now, I’m off to practice what I preach!

  • Birthdays are bigger than we think

    I think we all know people who, when asked about their birthday, say that they don’t celebrate it anymore or that it’s just not a big deal.

    What are we really saying about ourselves when we make these statements?

    One of the things I love about spring is that in addition to the season in the Midwest beginning to change, I have two lovely daughters who celebrate birthdays in March and in April.

    My girls are special to me. They know that they are special, but on their birthdays, I have an extra opportunity to celebrate the fact that they exist.

    This is a fact of life that is often overlooked in childrearing.

    The stability, security and self-esteem for any daughter are wrapped up in her daddy. A father is the first man that a daughter should be in love with. The number one reason is because this would be the daughter’s first taste of TRUE love – unconditional, never-ending, God-like love.

    Codependent women, for the most part, did not experience a strong interpersonal relationship with their fathers.

    I have counseled a variety of women who have said that even when their father was there, he really wasn’t there. He lived at the house, they ate dinner together sometimes and he was a great provider of physical things.

    But how often they exchanged intimacy was in question.

    There were no tender moments. They would say things like. “I know my Dad loved me, he just doesn’t express himself that way.” Or, “Dad loves me, he’s just very busy.”

    The effects are devastating.

    The daughter that doesn’t have the strong interpersonal relationship with her dad will always struggle with her relationships with men. The codependent part comes in her defining moments. She will always wonder is she beautiful, does she matter, who loves her.

    And she will look for a male to supply her with these answers.

    Just imagine the teenage boys willing to tell these girls that they are beautiful, they are important and they are loved.

    What do you think these codependent girls will do in return for these simply words that should have come from her dad?

    If you have ever wondered how some guys ended up with these very beautiful and intelligent women – you guessed it, codependency.

    The point here is this: Every little girl needs to know that she is loved and that she matters. In fact all of us do. These two things are directly attached to her inner conscious which she will then use to fight off the voice that tell her no one loves her or she’s ugly.

    This is why birthdays are especially important to all of us. They should be used as a tool to express love and to celebrate the life of a person we love. Everyone should have at least one day a year where people make a fuss, go out of their way and express their love all because of the birth of that special someone.

    It is also for this reason that my two little girls will always know that they matter, that I love them more than life itself and that they are smart and talented enough to do whatever they put their little minds to. They need to understand that our spirits are forever connected and death can’t even separate us. That our love is everlasting – which means from the day they were conceived, it was in love and that their life and death will be spent in love.

    Make sure the people you love know it. This must be demonstrated and said out loud often enough to make it a habit. This is how we live with no regret.

  • Part 1: Unconditional love?

    Love is probably the most overused and misrepresented word in the English language.

    I say this because of the condition of the world. How many men use this word love to lure innocent woman into sexual relationships? How many children were conceived to teenage mothers under the idea that it was love? How many people have been betrayed by people who claimed to love them?

    Love is NOT something you fall in, something that finds you or something that you feel. Love is something that you know, it is taught and those who know what it is, practice it. It is a by-product of experiencing Jesus Christ or people like Him. It is expressed in many ways. Clearly, it is a way of life.

    By the way love is done in our country, we will never understand it the way it was intended. Love is conditional in America. People practice it conditionally and place expectations of the people they are loving. Love is distributed based on whether or not you meet the lover’s expectations.

    This explains why a young woman searching for love will give herself sexually because she understands love as conditional. Men have long made sex a condition for their love. After all, that fits the love economy we have here so people just run with it.

    This also explains the divorce rate.

    Fifty percent of all marriages will end in divorce. That number goes up 20 percent for law enforcement and fire fighters. Why? Conditions were just not met.

    We have played with this concept long enough. Next week I will show you a more excellent way.

  • Can you love me?

    I’ve been pondering a question all week.

    I’ve been thinking whether or not it is easy to love me.

    Arrogance makes you answer the question too quickly and say, “Of course it is!”

    But in your most inner thoughts, when you get really serious about answering this question, what do you come up with?

    The first thing I thought about was what criteria I would use to really determine it:

    • Would I base this on the grounds of how often I attend church services?
    • What about how much money I make?
    • Or whether or not I can remain faithful and committed in a relationship?
    • Do my possessions make me easier to love?
    • What about my political views?
    • Am I easier to love if I have the heart of a servant or a leader?
    • Would I be easier to love if I were completely fit?
    • What about my intellect?
    • Would I be easier to love if I were smarter?
    • What if I were more attractive?
    • What if I were cleaner?

    The list could go on and on.

    So if I were to answer the question seriously, I would have to look at some standard of love.

    I chose to use Jesus Christ – since most people in our country show some allegiance to Him. The Bible says God is love, so in the case of the Son, He would have to be love, too.

    John 3:16 say, “For God so LOVED the world that He gave … .” It would appear that giving is a great place to start. If I could give unconditionally of my time and my means, this would make me easier to love because of the way I give.

    I think another important characteristic is sacrifice. It seems that a person who can be selfless would literally draw people to himself. This must be an important aspect as well.  I’m obviously still pondering this question. However, if I was to look at the other side and assume that it was difficult to love me, could I be honest and admit that it’s difficult?

    Why would it be difficult? Because I feel entitled and I want others to serve me, I make it difficult to love me. Because I feel someone owes me something or I’m not happy with my life and I want others to suffer because I’m not happy. Or because I think that I’ve done some great thing in the past and now I’m owed. Like say if I raised a family, maybe now I feel that my adult kids owe me something.

    Bottom line is this: We are going to one day stand before the judgment seat of Christ and we will have to give an account. When that time comes, can we say that we were lovable or unlovable?  This is our choice and I choose to be lovable. I choose to make a difference in the lives of the people that I come in contact with so that they will be better people, too. I pledge to let my light shine to honor my Father in heaven.

    If you choose the latter, I hope today you change. If not, I pray that He has mercy on your soul.

  • A Love Letter to Meadowlawn Church of Christ

    On June 6, 2004 I officially became the ministering evangelist at Meadowlawn Church of Christ in Sandusky, Ohio.

    I never wanted to preach or even be seen as a preacher. Many accept this calling and the criticism that goes with it. Living a life under a microscope for people to judge you and hold you to a different standard than the rest.

    For me, Meadowlawn always seemed to fit. I remember in 2004 having the opportunity to leave Ohio and take the ministerial work in Rockledge, FL at the Fisk boulevard Church of Christ. The church was 10 times the size of Meadowlawn and had more than 400 members. Again for me, Meadowlawn always seemed to fit.

    At Meadowlawn, God took me through a transformation by the things which I endured. There were many struggles. We struggled with tradition, evangelism, money, discipleship and support. As a result, we grew into a family. We fellowshipped together, we cried together and we fought together. Every problem we faced seemed to bring us closer.

    I grew up spiritually at Meadowlawn and was able to make full proof of my ministry. I would not change the experience for anything.

    Now it is time for me to move on and I have mixed emotions about that.

    I love what we have been building and I love the fact that our congregation is not your typical congregation. Most have been able to take off traditional glasses and view the Bible, God’s people and the service we give in a purer fashion. We began to truly allow Jesus to be the author and finisher of our faith.

    We grew in a way that increased our knowledge of God’s Word and allowed some of us to build a closer relationship with Christ. I cannot thank the church enough for the opportunity to serve and the patience to forbear me in areas where I needed to grow.

    I want to encourage you all to continue in the fight of faith. Love one another. Laugh together often and never return to the traditional shackles that have enslaved you for so long. Support the leadership and encourage them to do what’s right. Invest in the children and take care of the seniors. Don’t allow Satan back into the church. Challenge everything you are taught to make sure it is of God and never quit reaching out to the community.

    I hope that you all know how much I love and care for you and may God be with you all the way.

    Now unto Him who is able to keep us from falling; and deliver us faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy; to the only wise God our Father be glory, majesty, dominion and power both now and forever, amen!