Commitment is defined as an act of to a charge or trust; the state or instance of being obligated or emotionally. I had to read this definition a few times myself. I wanted to get a grasp of what makes people over-commit. It must happen when the committed person becomes too emotionally connected.
This is a bad place to be in because normally this person ends up getting hurt. They cannot see how their actions look to others. They give advice to people who don’t want it; they give money (with strings attached); and they over extend themselves and most of the time disguise it as general help. And in their subconscious mind they actually understand that whatever they were over-committing to is over, but at the moment, realizing it’s over is more hurtful than over-committing and looking like a fool.
If you see this over-indulging creature, be careful with them. They are fragile. They are not in a state where logic resides. They are emotionally lead and you must look out for their well being.
Unfortunately, some people take advantage of these over- committers and hide behind the fact that they didn’t ask for anything. Shame on you! What should happen is that you take NOTHING. You speak the truth in love to them, and end the relationship. Be consistent because the overindulgent can’t handle mixed messages. Over time they will see that you actually did them a favor.
The following is five questions to assess if you are dealing with an over- indulger.
1) If their help comes with hidden expectations
2) If there was a recent break up and the person is working too hard to be friends
3) If the person is over emotional especially with regard to helping
4) If the person has limited friends
5) If the person is controlling
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