Good grief?

Now that the funeral is over it seems like the world has moved on. The problem with that is you are still stuck. Stuck in a pit of sorrow as your loved one is gone and there is nothing you can do to change that.

You have become angry and depressed about what is happening to you. In the same breath you have the feeling of abandonment from your friends and maybe even family. No one makes a fuss after the funeral. It’s just you and your grief. And you’ve been running away from it ever since your loved one took their last breath.

Grieving is such a normal process. It is really as normal as a laugh, an itch or a sneeze. What all these things have in common with grieving is that our bodies react to them all — yes even your grief.

So that means that sometimes you will have mood swings. A commercial or song will stop you in your tracks because it will remind you of a moment from the past. There will be days of sorrow that will keep you inside on a very sunny day. There will be times when you don’t feel like doing anything. You won’t even answer your phone. The loneliest times will be when you begin to covet someone else’s happiness as if you’ll never have your own — and this is normal.

What you have to do is push yourself to move forward. Let those around know that crying is healthy and you may start crying, but you are okay. You just need a timeout and then you can resume. Make every effort to strengthen the relationships with your loved ones who are among the living. This becomes your new focus. With every death, a family should love more. Each death should make us all strive to live each day to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised. We should live as to leave no doubt of the love we have for our family and friends.

You see, grief is not the absence of happiness, but the presence of healing and you need to allow the grief process to do the work it was designed to do. I tell you this: If grieving is your storm, then God is in the eye of it waiting for you. Allow our creator to recreate somethings in you that you though were lost. Allow the greatest engineer ever to design a stronger heart for you. This new heart loves more, laughs more and cries more. It’s more compassionate than the last and is unconditional. This heart will be born from your grief.

Allow the Potter to have his way with the clay. A better you awaits and its all because of grief! I guess Charlie Brown had it right when he said, “Good grief!”

5 Replies to “Good grief?”

  1. In my own grief, since the loss of my grandfather earlier in the year, I can certainly see how God has been at work to bring all of us peace, healing, and strength. Thanks for the article!

    1. Isn’t it a great feeling to see God at work in our lives? I’m thankful that God is so committed to us and that he has granted you such treasures! Thanks for your comments Helen!

  2. Lost my brother at the young age 52 on June 20th 2011, lost my step mom of over 40yrs on Oct 2nd 2011, lost my Aunt in Dec 2011. I’ve been angry, sad, feelings of sorrow, feelings of why. It’s an emotional roller coaster. God is good. He is the potter, I am the clay. He is still molding and shaping me in my life. I think about Job. MAN!!! What nerve do I have. I say again God is good !!!!

    1. Amen! Every death should make us live better, love harder and forgive more. It’s a reminder that life is too short for arguing, staying angry and alienating people. I’m so thankful God is full of grace and mercy as is all of his children! 🙂 Be blessed my brother!

      1. Yes sir brother minister! You too! 🙂

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