The abstract has much more depth than the concrete. Yet the only reason that we covet the concrete is because we can see it.
What we see will be destroyed. So why do we covet what we see? We even take beautiful abstract concepts and ruin them by making their focus on the object of the abstract. Let me make this simpler: Some people will love a person and make the thrust or emphasis of their love on the person, instead of the concept of love. So then when the relationship ends or the person being loved does not measure up to the expectations of the one loving, the relationship ends and the person loving says I’m not going to love anymore. Or say two people are madly in love and one dies. The one still alive chooses not to get involved in a love relationship anymore because it’s too painful.
You see, love is not the source of the pain or anger in either case. Failed expectations and grief respectively are the culprits in those cases, but love was blamed. Love never changed in either case. Love can still be developed and should still be resolute. It should be locked and loaded for the next episode. Not tossed aside like a smoking gun that killed the relationship.
So what if we kept this in perspective. Love is for the mature anyway. Most teens and young adults are not mature enough to even use the word properly let alone be in what they would describe as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
We should keep love pure. It was never meant to be conditional. It was never meant for profit and it should never be associated with negative acts. Love is an everlasting stream of God in you. It will never do you any harm and will save you from a lot of hurt. So love freely, love often and love everybody unconditionally — it’s the God in you!
Now that the funeral is over it seems like the world has moved on. The problem with that is you are still stuck. Stuck in a pit of sorrow as your loved one is gone and there is nothing you can do to change that.
You have become angry and depressed about what is happening to you. In the same breath you have the feeling of abandonment from your friends and maybe even family. No one makes a fuss after the funeral. It’s just you and your grief. And you’ve been running away from it ever since your loved one took their last breath.
Grieving is such a normal process. It is really as normal as a laugh, an itch or a sneeze. What all these things have in common with grieving is that our bodies react to them all — yes even your grief.
So that means that sometimes you will have mood swings. A commercial or song will stop you in your tracks because it will remind you of a moment from the past. There will be days of sorrow that will keep you inside on a very sunny day. There will be times when you don’t feel like doing anything. You won’t even answer your phone. The loneliest times will be when you begin to covet someone else’s happiness as if you’ll never have your own — and this is normal.
What you have to do is push yourself to move forward. Let those around know that crying is healthy and you may start crying, but you are okay. You just need a timeout and then you can resume. Make every effort to strengthen the relationships with your loved ones who are among the living. This becomes your new focus. With every death, a family should love more. Each death should make us all strive to live each day to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised. We should live as to leave no doubt of the love we have for our family and friends.
You see, grief is not the absence of happiness, but the presence of healing and you need to allow the grief process to do the work it was designed to do. I tell you this: If grieving is your storm, then God is in the eye of it waiting for you. Allow our creator to recreate somethings in you that you though were lost. Allow the greatest engineer ever to design a stronger heart for you. This new heart loves more, laughs more and cries more. It’s more compassionate than the last and is unconditional. This heart will be born from your grief.
Allow the Potter to have his way with the clay. A better you awaits and its all because of grief! I guess Charlie Brown had it right when he said, “Good grief!”
In January we tried to start the year new.
February was the month to build new relationships or strengthen old ones with the help of cupid. It didn’t work.
In 2013 March brought us the memory of the resurrection as we pondered our relationship with the cross. We felt guilty.
April always fools us. We’re fooled by people and things and we suffer loss of income, respect and dignity.
In May and June we remembered our parents, but failed to do anything more meaningful than a visit. We try, and try and try and there just isn’t enough time in a day. These visit are probably the most sincere things we’ll attempt all year, but we have a hard time going beyond that.
We celebrated our independence in July. The freedoms we enjoy allowed us to over spend, over indulge and over react. We came out of the month with one truth — it’s hotter than hell in July.
August meant nothing to us. Only emptiness and uncertainty wondering what the rest of the year would bring….
September was a reminder that we have to work. We must work for our living and work to pay taxes for other people’s living and work to support our government. The ninth month reminds us that there is no rest from our labors.
October is full of tricks and lies. It lies about the treats because they never existed. And all that’s left is tricks. We live in a world full of unmet expectations and unused potential. The only thing that really happens in the month is that we get tricked.
November we’re supposed to be thankful and in December we are supposed to be at peace. That doesn’t happen either so all we get is tricked.
Dear significant other,
Since I regularly participate in May and June, I won’t April you. I’m December and I’m November so despite what happens in September, October and August, our February will be July. So let’s January!