ClydeStyle

Category: Happiness

  • Happy appreciation day!

    Only part of the United States participates in this annual ritual known as Sweetest Day and I have been doing it wrong. Whereas Valentines Day is to celebrate romantic love, Sweetest Day is to appreciate all the folks in your life for who they are. Male or female doesn’t matter — it’s just a day of appreciation.

    Granted Hallmark gets excited when in comes around probably more than anyone else but in these tough times it’s good to take a day and evaluate relationships and appreciate them.

    I was reading an article about a woman who dropped her boyfriend off at Kroger and she stayed in the car. While she waited on him she took the opportunity to go through his phone only to discover he may have been having an inappropriate relationship with her sister.

    She was so enraged that she waited for him to come out of the store and she ran him over with the van — seriously injuring him and killing an innocent person walking out behind him. She then, stops the van, gets out and begins to attack her boyfriend while he is lying on the ground wounded.

    It appears as though she snapped and could not bear the information she discovered while invading his privacy. It is unclear if the sister was a minor or not but whatever she found, she was in that moment willing to give up or greatly alter her own life because of it. She, of course, is now facing a ton of charges and if convicted she will get life in prison.

    There are so many things wrong with this scenario. It is for this reason why we need to really evaluate the relationships we have to see if they are for better or for worse. To truly celebrate Sweetest Day we should first purge the toxic relationships and covet the really good ones. So here’s to all of you who are making this life better for others! The world would be nothing without you!

  • Death: Life’s greatest interruption

    There are many interruptions in life. Some good and some bad but still there are interruptions. We struggle to deal with the bad interruptions and subconsciously we know that there is a fix. We know that in most cases its just a matter of time before we figure out how to deal with it.

    Death seems to be a horse of a different color. Death is multiple problems at once and it’s so final! We don’t prepare for death well although we know it’s a part of life. We don’t like to plan it, talk about it, financially prepare for it or share a plan with our loved ones. We “tap out” so fast on the topic and it’s one of those conversations that we’ll have only when forced to.

    But death doesn’t ha e to be such a burden. There is a way to embrace death that would make it pleasant for everyone involved– included the one who dies.

    Physically, if you lead your life without regret and keep your body physically strong, you should have a long and healthy physical like. Good decisions consistently make for a great mental disposition and living a life full of expressions where you aren’t afraid to cry, scream, yell or love when it’s appropriate will make for great emotional stability.

    Spiritually speaking, understanding where you will spend eternity makes death more of a partner or friend than an interruption. The reason is because it will carry you to a better place.

    Whatever your lot, it would be a good practice to ready yourself and your family for the day that is inevitable — your death!

  • Finding YOUR spot in this world

    One of the most fulfilling things in life is to know your place. To know where you fit in life and actually be doing something that builds your self worth is something everyone would want but few actually achieve.

    Opportunity has been covered in red tape and there are so many hoops to jump through that many people give up on chasing their dreams. It is as if our government wanted to keep people from achievement. It seems as if the rich have a hold on making the real money and instead of skill and ingenuity creating opportunities, who you know makes all the difference.

    The decision needs to first be made as to the thing that matters most: To seek fame or fortune; to have influence and power; or to make life easier or better for others. Other decisions like whether or not to go to college, start in the military or learn a trade are key. A person can succeed doing either of the three.

    Then understanding what moves you and what makes you feel alive. I’ve always asked myself the question is it a job that I would do for free. Then finally you have to make it work. And on the way to completing this task you learn many things about who you are and what you are made of. You learn your passions and your fears. You learn how you respond in problem solving and the things that frustrated you the most.

    Above all else you have to master the learning curve to secure your space under the sun. There really is enough world for all of us. You just have to carve out your own slice! Happy cutting!

  • Way too many hats

    The problem with Christianity today is that the Christian understanding of religion is played out in hats. What I mean is we process Christian traits like wearing a hat. So there is a hate for love, a hat for forgiveness, a hat for service, a blessed hat, a joyful hat and even a praise hat and depending on our mood we regularly switch hats.

    Unfortunately there are other hats. Hats of hatred, racism, anger, gossiping, back biting and lustful. We switch these hats on and off as well. The problem lies in the fact that we never lose the evil hats in this concept. Because when the wind blows there is of telling which hat we will wear.

    Further, in a moments notice someone can do something negative to me and my hat willing change instantly. For example, I could be wearing my happy hat, and then someone could start a political argument with me and the anger hat is summoned. I then willfully chose to put on the anger hat. You see I had a chance to keep on my happy hat, but my flesh rose up against me and anger seemed like the best hat.

    So for me to be better, I have to get rid of the hat system. It needs to be replaced with something better because it gives me too many negative choice. What I recommend is a tattoo system — yes, tattoo system. With the tattoo system I can have the fruit of the Spirit tattooed on me for choices and I can leave the works of the flesh alone. I don’t even need them as options.

    So what would it be like if we could only use what was tattooed on me? It means that when the flesh told me to become angry (and that isn’t an option), I would choice from my option menu and pick love. When offered the gossip option, I would choose to serve. This way my only options would be godly and I would no longer see the other negative things available.

    My friends, this is a choice you can make. Stop falling for the hat trick and get you some tattoos in Jesus name!

  • The crisis of meaning

    With all the things that have happened since 2020 begin from the beginning of the pandemic to election issues and challenges with democracy, to job creation, gas prices, police shootings and the war in Ukraine, it’s befitting that some folks would start questioning everything and having doubts about who they are, the meaning of life and overall purpose. If you are serious about life, maturity will bring you to this point where you begin to wonder whether or not you have the correct understanding of things or that you really believe what you were told growing up.

    This feeling is difficult. It’s where you begin to search for what life really means to you. This can even be dangerous at times because for some the thought process spirals out of control to the point where they actually believe in their heart that the world would be a better place without them. Some begin to suffer severe depression based on their new found discoveries about life or themselves. This is the time when reality becomes real.

    It seems that tragedy brings about these thoughts. It normally happens when you feel the world around you is closing in on you. Things begin the change around you too fast and for a long time you have not been happy. There is a word for this. It is called an existential crisis.

    Formally, in psychology and psychotherapy, existential crises are inner conflicts characterized by the impression that life lacks meaning. These conflicts will keep you up at night. They will also make you cry, feel depressed and even betrayed.

    The year is halfway over and depending how 2022 has treated you, you might find yourself dealing with this now. If you are I want to give you some tips to make it through successfully. The first thing is you need someone who you trust. This is a person who will keep your confidence and is a good listener. You DO NOT need someone to tell you want to do or what to think — this was probably the problem in the beginning. You need a guide. This would be someone who you believe is living the life you hope to have. It’s an experienced person so they wouldn’t necessarily be in your age range. Look to the immediate generation ahead of you.

    You also must be honest about your feelings. I had a client that discovered that she had quite a few relatives who were racist and that she hated those views but was conflicted because these were family members she loved. Their views were not her views but since they had the same DNA she felt that she must be racist too. It took us some time but she discovered she could pick and choose the parts of her family she loved and hated and for her to remain balanced, she had to speak out against the behavior she hated and embrace the person with love.

    The final stage is to take your time. The process could take months or years to complete. You will make progress along the way but it should not be rushed and the purpose of it all is for you to become a better you!

  • A network of togetherness

    There is something to be said for being together. Our closeness or unity or connection to another person or group of folks quenches the thirsty we have for belonging. As humans we need to be a part of something — good or bad we need to belong. We yearn for inclusion and to be entangled with other people.

    Togetherness is defined as a state or feeling of closeness and happiness among people who are together as friends, family members, etc. Some have several groups they associate with. In these groups you should find all you need to balance your life such as encouragement, support, wisdom, intimacy, family, networking and entertainment.

    Togetherness is so important that we should have a societal rule that everyone must be a part of a crew. You choose your own crew but your Togetherness will also be charged for trouble you get in. That alone would make us choose our friends more closely and truly be our brothers keeper!

    Togetherness greatly helps with mental health issues and it single handedly lowers suicide rates. In fact, overall crime goes down in areas where people cluster together in unity. Many foreigners to this country take their togetherness to a foreign land and excel! They live in close quarters together for a time to save money and get ahead. So two families may move together and live together here. All able-bodied individuals work and the money made is shared with the cluster. Each family helps the other get ahead and they slowly bring in more families as others advance.

    This just proves that we are better together. We were created to be a part of a pair that would have the ability to increase it’s nunber and the. They would all work together and look out for each other. We also call this a family!

    I remember the crew I had in junior high, high school and college. Then I had a different group of professionals when I entered the workforce. As far back as I can recall, I have never existed without a crew. And all of my groups were successful. How about you my friends? Do you have a crew? Do you support your crew? Is your group successful? Can you rely on them? These are very important questions if you plan to get by with a little help from your friends!

  • Who’s journey is it anyway?

    A journey is a voyage or the act of traveling or working. The word is used as both the noun and the verb so this word is quite descriptive.

    So discovering your journey or living out your journey is to move us from one place to another. We can go from being clumsy to graceful. We can go from ignorant to enlightened or we can just go from Albany to Buffalo — either way we are moving with a purpose.

    Now comes the New Year and we reflect of the past journey as a gage for how the new journey in the new year will proceed. We make plans, research, and plot a course for success. We make no room for life to happen on our journey. So we are easily derailed by death or the loss of something. Health challenges and relationship changes effect our journey in a mighty way.

    The ultimate question is how do we know if we’re doing what we were meant to do? I mean if life can so easily beset us, does that mean that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing unless tragedy strikes and then I’m excused?

    I believe the key is forward motion. In life we need to be constantly moving forward. The pace may change due to life’s challenges but forward is the constant, not a variable. Then the meaning of life is simple: How many hits can you take and keep moving forward? We are in pursuit of our destiny and when you make it from one year to the next it’s a blessing.

    You made the cut and you get to advance another year. Make the most of the year. It goes by so fast and when we realize the speed we’re traveling, summer is almost over. Strive to be the best version of yourself as you tackle life. You want to grab all that you can as you move forward. The gratitude and celebration is in the moving or how you negotiate the journey. Be strong and enjoy the ride!

  • Don’t say it; because you are better than that!

    In the book of James in the bible he talks in chapter 3 about taming the tongue.

    James compares the tongue to the govenor that controls a ship and the bit that bridles the horse. Both when used properly are for the purposes of controlling the whole.

    He also says the tongue is fire and if not controlled it would burn and destroy. The instrument used to control has been misused for retaliation. The biggest problem with retaliation is that it always hits the people that are closest to us.

    How many arguments have you had with people you have professed to love that ended badly because somebody made an out of bounds comment that was clearly meant to hurt the person?

    Sadly, the closest people to us are the ones that we know the most about. They have been vulnerable with us. They trust us with some very intimate things. We then turn around in our selfishness and unload hate at the ones we love.

    Selfishness is the reason we respond that way. Selfishness is the actual thing that needs controlling and God gave us the tongue to do that. All of our good, bad and ugly gets distributed throughout our whole bodies and before it leaves our temple it rests on our tongue. It’s at this moment that we are crucified with Christ (Gal. 2:20).

  • Western civilization is overrun by fear

    President Franklin Roosevelt said that there is nothing to fear, but fear itself. I’m here to tell you that fear itself is more than enough.

    Before bias there was fear. Before racism there was fear. Before we began to blame each other, there was fear and before my hate crime, there was fear.

    Fear has been the catalyst for misunderstanding, anxiety, false narratives, fake news and all the name calling we hear out of Washingron DC.

    Fear makes everything worse. During Roosevelt’s time America was afraid of the struggling economy and began pulling their funds out of the banks which made the problem worse. Roosevelt was basically telling America that it was their fear that was fueling their behavior and that it is making an already troubled economy worse.

    Fear has always been at the scene of every crime that kills unity and drives us further apart. As a country we are divided and that is because we fear what we don’t know of each other. Our anxiety is escalated because we believe the “other” person has ill feelings toward us.

    When generations fear something it invites the cancer (fear) into every new community to come afterwards and then they repeat the mistakes of the previous group.

    History continues to warn us through cycle after cycle and then it repeats. We’re still stumbling over the same parts. What’s wrong with us?!?

    We are afraid.

    There is no massive fix for this. The solution is individual and each American is called to answer the same question: What are we afraid of?

    I must deal with my own fears. I must be the director of my path and not allow the person God made me to be controlled by what I can’t see. We are a nation under God who is afraid. That should be an oxymoron, but instead it’s truth.

    Will you take responsibility for your own fear?

  • How powerful is the will of God … in your life?

    If the question is asked to the average Christian regarding the power of the will of God unanimously they would say, “it is all powerful” or something to that effect. They would say, “who can resist the power of God?”

    Those are all great answers, but now the question of the power of the will of God focuses on your life. You see, on it’s own merit God’s will is as powerful as He is, but since God doesn’t make us do His will, it’s up to our own understanding as to how powerful it would be in our lives.

    So when the bible reveals God’s will to us, how do we respond? For example, Eph. 5:22 tells wives to submit themselves to their own husbands in everything. But what if he is a cheater?

    What if he is an abuser? What if he is mean? The text does not add a condition to this command, but God allows you the choice to select who you want to be married to. So now how powerful is God’s will?

    Continuing in the same Ephesians text it says for the husband to love his wife the same way Christ loved the church. Again it doesn’t give a condition that negates the command if she doesn’t act the way you want her to.

    What about helping people? Would you help a fellow Christian just because he was a Christian or does he or she have to be extremely close to you for you to help?

    When is the last time you gave of your time and means for a Christian you really didn’t know?

    Maybe the world has a hard time seeing Jesus because his followers are not reflecting the love they are experiencing from Him.

    Our world is in troubled times where what God says doesn’t seem to matter much. But if the only way the world will see it and understand it is if it is modeled by Christ’s followers then we may be in big trouble!