A typical Saturday with temperatures in the mid-eighties and almost no breeze. No clouds, not a lot of humidity and the air is pure. This seems like perfect weather, but for the bereaved even in an environment this picturesque, the sadness is still overpowering.
When you are grieving nothing feels right in your life anymore. It is like watching the world on VHS instead of blu-ray. It feels like everything has turned dull, nothing is sharp. But probably the most hurtful part of it is there is no quick fix. No pill, no replacement, no happiness. It really makes you feel lonely even when you’re in the midst of a crowd.
Memories are supposed to help with this, but sometimes they make it worse.
And then the thoughts …
Sometimes you wish sadness on another person because you just want someone to join your misery. You seek understanding but you won’t give anyone an opportunity to hear you out. Jealousy and envy join in and make matters worse. Grieving can make a lottery winning sad.
Time is the only thing that is with us and given the opportunity it will help. We’re in the process of relearning life without someone. It’s like you’ve been walking the same way for years and all of a sudden you can no longer walk that way.
Broken things need to be replaced and narratives need to be rewritten and it needs to be done now.
If you are suffering from depression related to grief or the loss of someone special, there is help. Email me and tell me all about it. We’ll figure this out together. Clydespeak@gmail.com