ClydeStyle

Category: Uncategorized

  • Finding YOUR spot in this world

    One of the most fulfilling things in life is to know your place. To know where you fit in life and actually be doing something that builds your self worth is something everyone would want but few actually achieve.

    Opportunity has been covered in red tape and there are so many hoops to jump through that many people give up on chasing their dreams. It is as if our government wanted to keep people from achievement. It seems as if the rich have a hold on making the real money and instead of skill and ingenuity creating opportunities, who you know makes all the difference.

    The decision needs to first be made as to the thing that matters most: To seek fame or fortune; to have influence and power; or to make life easier or better for others. Other decisions like whether or not to go to college, start in the military or learn a trade are key. A person can succeed doing either of the three.

    Then understanding what moves you and what makes you feel alive. I’ve always asked myself the question is it a job that I would do for free. Then finally you have to make it work. And on the way to completing this task you learn many things about who you are and what you are made of. You learn your passions and your fears. You learn how you respond in problem solving and the things that frustrated you the most.

    Above all else you have to master the learning curve to secure your space under the sun. There really is enough world for all of us. You just have to carve out your own slice! Happy cutting!

  • Enough is enough: To live by the sword is to die by the sword

    You know, I wasn’t going to say anything about the mass shootings. I was hoping that lawmakers would develop a conscience and do the right thing for the people — atleast that’s what Democracy is supposed to be about. A system of government that is by the people and for the people.

    Clearly everyone sees this as a problem. We have had well over 200 mass shootings this year. Mass shooting is defined by the number of people killed. Somewhere, someone came up with the idea that if atleast 4 people get shot, they don’t have to die, it constitute a mass shooting. And we specialize in them.

    Congress has the task of representing “we the people” and sadly the interest of the people is not the interest of Congress. This is not a new problem as lobbying groups and corporate special interest tend to rule our country with the almighty dollar. Part of congress believes that a good guy with a gun trumps a bad guy with a gun. Clearly that’s not the case.

    There were 19 small town officers in Uvalde at the school harassing parents. They must have been afraid to go in so chances are more kids were killed than should have been. There have been copycat shooters in other states while Congress tries to figure out what to do. Our system is failing.

    Meanwhile, Canada is strengthening it’s gun laws because it is the right thing to do. Some countries, like Japan, decided that they had outgrew handguns and following a mass shooting in 1989, the country decided to band guns from their society.

    If America was not so greedy we could solve the gun problem. We have become masters at making money off the suffering of others. A statement needs to be made at the voting polls. What are you prepared to do?

  • The myth of making up lost time

    There are some folks who believe that they can make up time. They kick up a lot of dirt to make it look like something is happening and then there is nothing.

    You cannot make up time, all you can do is try to let it get lost. How does it happen? Neglect, poor planning, ignorance, slothfulness and anger are a few habitual contributors to the lost of time. Human error is always the problem and the fix for it does not occur in the midst of more time. It comes in post production where the time correction is discovered and made known to all who are involved.

    What needs to happen is the one who is responsible for losing the time needs to acknowledge such and make preparations to never allow it to happen for the same reason again.

    You cannot make up time no more than you can unsee a tragedy. We attempt to try and make it up because we all see and can relate to the unfairness of it all. It’s a permanent action that leaves a permanent scare. There are children who are struggling because they were cheated out of time. There are people stuck in relationships that have been nothing but a big waste of time. There are people who have gotten divorced and the circumstances were not favorable to all parties so someone has been purged of time. Companies have tons of lazy employees that such the business dry of time. There are teachers who are tired and disgruntled who are stealing quality time from our kids.

    People have died too early or too late. So called friends have wasted our time as well. Pastors are wasting time and social media is a waste of time. When we die, it would be a shamed to look back at your life and realize that if you had back all the time you wasted you would be alive for another decade. A recent university study confirmed that humans waste 21.8 hours a week. This seems like a really bad waste of life. So instead of trying to redeem the time, we need to focus on the present and what is to come instead of what’s lost in the past.

  • Self-check time!!!

    I don’t know anybody who likes to be proven wrong. I mean imagine going full throttle in the wrong direction or with the wrong understanding. Some of us are really bold with this. Now there are a couple of different types of people who do this. The first is the one who cannot admit that they were wrong. They put themselves out their so far and look so ridiculous attempting to act like nothing happen.

    Then we have the type that becomes angry and violent once they realize they looked stupid. They will through a temper tantrum to deal with the embarrassment of sticking their foot in their mouth. Next is the type that blames others for their mistakes. They will quickly play the blame game as soon as they feel the consequences of their actions.

    Finally, there is a type that acts like it never happened. They just don’t ever speak of it hoping that it will go away. These types wouldn’t have to exist if we all did a self check. We need to make sure that the information we use to make decisions is correct. We have to be more accountable on the front end to save integrity on the back end. You must ask do I have all of the facts? Am I seeing the full picture? Are my sources credible? Am I emotional involved in this decision? Can I live with the outcome?

    It is definitely worth the time to get the facts straight. In addition we need to surround ourselves with people who would give us the truth. And above every thing else, we need to learn how to give a genuinely sincere apology — people heal faster that way.

  • The big Break up

    The Stylistics made the song “Break up to make up” famous! Saying, “First you love me, then you hate me, that’s a game for fools.” Probably the worst thing about breaking up is that in the beginning it leaves you so empty. There is a brand new void that needs to be filled. Some embrace the void as pain that quickly leads to depression. Others look to fill the void immediately often dragging someone new into the picture which isn’t fair to the newcomer.

    What makes relationships so hard is that we all have somewhat of a hidden complex about ourselves. Things like personal quirks that we feel we can’t be honest about. We have feelings we can’t share for fear of being judged. We don’t want anyone to know we’re insecure. Then there are people that are so afraid of being hurt again that they can’t be transparent in a new relationship. There are so many dynamics, but with most of them good communication and honesty fixes most of them.

    Assumptions are another great relationship killer. And mind you these things hurt over time. The first 40 assumptions aren’t enough to kill a relationship. It’s the next 200 of them that does it. Then you start factoring in all the wasted time. All your fears about breaking up come to light and that space you don’t enjoy — the emptiness is surrounding you again.

    Well, if you have ended a relationship recently let’s try to pick up the pieces. First, if you think it’s all your fault — it is! Not ALL because it takes 2 people for a relationship. You definitely need to own a percentage of the break up. But who’s fault it is doesn’t matter now because it’s over … right???

    What matters now is that we learn from what happened and own our dysfunction. Some people enter a relationship still broken from a previous one. You can not give yourself wholly to a person when you are broken. You must heal first. Some people just don’t like to be alone. They jump around from person to person when they really need to get a dog — or some other pet and heal.

    There are also areas that need improvement. All improvements must be made for only one reason — because you want to make them for yourself. If you were informed in a previous relationship that you were selfish, you have to decide if you believe that to be true. Any changes you make has to be because you want it. If not, it will not be genuine.

    Slowing the dating process waaaaaay down is also a must as you must give things time to develop. When you meet a new person you are instantly in discovery mode. Give it time. Before you start making new commitments you must heal from the past and know what characteristics you like before you meet someone and don’t compromise them.

    If you are really looking for a long- term committed relationship, you need to seek spiritual guidance for this is the highest point of mankind’s intellect. Glorify God in every aspect of the relationship and if it ends, you will land on your feet! Now, make sure you take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally in order to recover from the break up. Give it time. You will get better!

  • A special role: Mother

    Guest written by Valerie M. Whittaker

    Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers and to you who serve as mothers!

    Webster’s Dictionary describes the verb tense of the word mother as, “to give birth to; to give rise to {to cause to happen}; produce.” I love those phrases!

    Mothers, we are life givers.  What an honor! What a privilege! Almighty God could have brought new life into this world any way He wanted but He created us, the female, to be his vessel through whom He brings new life into the world!

    Mothers, I want you to remember our role in the Earth; we are life-givers, producers and we cause things to happen! But our role doesn’t end when we give birth to the baby.  As a life giver, we nurture our children, we protect our children, we instruct our children, and we speak life and good things into our children! We give rise to Presidents and world leaders and produce wonderful, hard-working, law-abiding citizens. We are awesome!  

    Maybe you’re feeling unappreciated today; maybe you feel as if those you love are too busy for you or just don’t care about you the way that you care about them. Be encouraged, mother! God chose YOU! And as a life-giver, don’t allow dead things in your life to stay that way!

    Strained relationship? YOU are the life-giver, so be the one to apologize, to forgive, and give life to that thing! Feeling as if your life is stagnant? YOU are the life-giver, so start or join a book club, find a new hobby (I just took tennis lessons and I had a ball!), volunteer at your local hospital, join a life group at your church.  Birth new life into your old one! Is your loved one struggling in some area? YOU are the life-giver, so speak life into them and be that one who always speaks encouraging words to them.  

    Some of us are young mothers, some are older mothers; some of us dropped out of school at a young age, some of us have Ph.Ds.  Some of us are single mothers, some of us have wonderful partners to help us on this motherhood journey.  Whatever your lot in life, mother, you have God-given power to create life.  You are a beautiful vessel of life! Please remember that!

    So let’s go! There is always something around us that could use new life.  Find that thing, create the new life, use your power, mother! There is always more mothering to do!

    Mother, I appreciate you! I love you! I’m cheering for you!

    Much Love, Mother!

    Valerie

  • What does the Resurrection mean to you?

    This is one of two times of the year where people are willing to engage in conversation about religion (Christmas time is the other one). There is much history and liturgy surrounding this time of the year and millions are comfortable practicing their faith. But outside of these two times of the year, what effect does the resurrection really have on those who believe?

    In America we have created in recent years cancel culture. This is the time where we use social media to shut people down when we don’t agree with them or we don’t like what they say or an action they did. In the this culture no one gets a second chance. In this culture, the majority get to play God and judge the actions of others as if they have no sin.

    It just seems that if we believe and practice the celebration of the resurrection because it actually means that our God has made a way for us through belief in his son which also means we get another chance. God extends his grace to us and we extend cancel culture to others — something is really wrong with that.

    So this brings the question of what does the resurrection really mean to us? In response to the resurrection shouldn’t we be will to offer the best version of ourselves for Godly things? Shouldn’t we want to give the best of our gifts for God’s cause? Because of the resurrection and the power that comes with it, shouldn’t we be changing the world for the better? Maybe that last question is not fair because for centuries we have controlled our use of God. Meaning that our constitution was written with a biblical backdrop. But if that’s true, how could slavery ever exist? If we really understood God’s economy then we would have created opportunity for all and would have made sure no families were left in poverty.

    I could go on but the point is clear: God has to mean more to the believer than two quick acknowledgements throughout the year and begin living in the resurrection– that means your personal life will add meaning to it. We know what the authors of the Bible wrote about it and we know how the Holy Spirit feels about it. Now what does your life show that you believe?

  • Spring and baseball

    When you live in the Midwest the weather doesn’t always cooperate like you want it to. I mean don’t get me wrong I love the change in the seasons and I really enjoy all the gorgeous colors of fall. There is even a time when I great enjoy the snow! There is nothing like sitting at home on a super cold winter day with no particular place to go. You have a house full of food and the choice to stay in and watch the snow fall (which is quite peaceful) or go out and play in it.

    The issue is that the snow comes during a particular time of the season and every time it seems to wear out its welcome. Winter lasts too long in Michigan! And it seems to get even longer every year. There is one thing that seems to help rush winter away and that is the start of baseball season! I’m really rooting for baseball. Last year was a great year and a strong finish. The world series last year was outstanding and definitely got me excited about this year.

    It seems as though America’s pastime needs a marketing makeover. The players still have great talent but the excitement of the game is not like it was. I can recall growing up as a child we would go to the games, listen to Ernie Harwell, keep score, have a ballpark frank or two and looked forward to purchasing merchandise. I love that old English “D” that always represented Detroit and the smell of the ballpark! The boys of summer always get started with spring and the weather seems to cooperate with baseball. Openings days are hit or miss but it’s not long before the weather aligns with the game and order is restored!

    Spring signifies a new beginning and the start of something new. It’s a time of renewal, reflection and planning. It’s a time where we can make full proof of our resolutions (if we have not given up on them). Let’s welcome spring with new ideas, new looks, new decisions and a positive outlook for this year! Play ball!!!

  • Can’t we all just get along?

    It seems that in our country we have a problem getting along. The powers that be have forced us to choose a side and buy into the thought that you are either for or against. Who said that we have to choose a side? Who says that we have to be against anyone or anything?

    We are adults created by God to make up our own minds on things. This is truly the benefit of clarity. To know that you have choice and can decide your own who, what, when, where and why is the benefit of being in your right mind. Why would you let someone take that away from you.

    So, getting along is pretty easy when you consider a few things first. Before I am to get along with anyone else, I have to get along with self first. Why would I try to introduce a new interpersonal relationship to myself when my intrapersonal relationship is in turmoil. You see we live in a place where hurt people are hurting people and when you do not like the person you are, it is easy to focus that hate on someone else. But the truth is before you hate someone, you have to dislike yourself first. Hate has to dwell in you and then you cast it on to another. What do you think it’s doing inside of you?

    So you must first love yourself before you can ever begin to have a mutual relationship. You must first respect yourself before you can respect others. This seems so elementary but it is the truth.

    So if my intrapersonal relationship is right I am then ready to pursue a new relationship with others. I meet someone and before we say a word to each other I already respect them — because I respect myself. We then find common ground. During that search for common ground I choose to be non judgmental, I choose to be accepting and I choose to be honest. The greatest thing I choose to be is kind. When I do these things, common ground will be easy to find and we can begin a relationship allowing each party to live their truth. Now the level of involvement will be set by the energy shared in the dyad.

    As simple as it sounds, kindness doesn’t cost you a thing. Neither does deciding who to love, forgive, accept or befriend. Hate, strife, jealousy and the like always come at a price. How much are you really willing to pay?

  • Why all the talk about socialism?

    Our country has always had a major divide and it is camouflaged by hate rhetoric.

    When most of white Americans hear the word racism, it sets off an alarm that rings two fold in their minds. It is the embarrassment of our country’s past. I’m speaking of not just slavery but how things were done after that. I’m not even talking about reconstruction at this point or the fact that there were Jim Crow laws that our government allowed. America was truly not for everybody. But for this discussion I am just talking about how wealth was figured and distributed and who actual had access to what.

    So we know and have no argument that Capitalism encourages innovation and individual goals. This is a good thing. It is from this that the American dream was born.

    So in 1790 the industrial age hit the US and a guy named Sam Slater borrowed from technology abroad to advance the cotton industry here. Now of course the US (particularly the South) was known for its cotton as more than 90 percent of the world’s usage of it was purchased from the US.

    At this time America had free labor so it was all profit coming back. Innovation with opportunity is the first mistake of the misuse of Capitalism. This set a precedent for how we would negotiate Capitalism. Innovation was key but we wanted to limit the power to only a few.

    Even after the civil war, opportunity had still not reached the majority. As time went on, the second industrial movement happened. While the First Industrial Revolution caused the growth of industries, such as coal, iron, railroads and textiles, the Second Industrial Revolution showcased the expansion of electricity, petroleum and steel. Sounds good doesn’t it? Except for the fact that it still was not available to everyone and wages were far from fair.

    It wasn’t until 1969 that the third industrial revolution happened and that was the discovery of Nuclear power.

    When you look at all the right families in our country — JP Morgan, Kennedys, Rockefeller, Getty to name a few — you will see that they were about to take advantage of new industries that were not available to everyone. Money has always been power and wealth had been hijacked from most of America long ago.

    So even when opportunity for better jobs came around the pay still was not fair. Then the government tried to throw a bone to lower income Americans. You see the rich told us to chase the dream. Work hard, get a house and car and get married and start a family. Everyone wanted to own a home and live well.

    In 1930 the Federal Housing Administration began giving loans to Americans so that they could buy homes. No one of color got loans. In fact, banks were controlling who got loans and who did not.

    Even in the military where minorities were promised money for housing and schooling, which are still the number one and two ways to combat poverty, this was not made available to minorities.

    Of course you remember or have heard how districts were redlined to keep certain neighborhoods from becoming too ethnic. My point here is that Capitalism has only ever worked for the 1 percent and that is an exclusive club that 99 percent of America has not been invited.

    So not being able to change that system, the rhetoric today is Socialism which promotes equality and fairness among society. It attempts to make up for the injustices without taking away anyone’s ill-gotten gain.

    Socialism is about giving everyone the same opportunity. Now, if you don’t make the most of it, your failure will not be because opportunity wasn’t available.

    It means fair wages, better jobs, open opportunity and access to government subsidies and tax breaks to get families out of debt. It means great healthcare for everybody and it means eliminating the need for welfare.

    Basically, socialists are trying to reform capitalism so that it works for everyone.

    We shall see!